Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm too lazy to type this, so you can kiss my butt lawyer kisama! This was originally performed by Random Acts Of Insanity, see author profile for copyright info.

Part 2- Modern Yoga.

By Moi ô¿ô

Aeris sits on the floor of a medium sized room, in the lotus position, meditating, when Tifa walks in, wearing her usual miniskirt.

Tifa: Hiiii Aeris!! *dances around* I'm here for the yoga class! *playfully throws punches at Aeris, and sits down next to her*

Aeris: *calmly and pleasantly surprised* Ohhh. You're here for the yoga class. Great.

Tifa: Yep! Ya know, like "Boing" and some stuff! *can't sit still*

Aeris: Tifa, the first part of yoga class is learning to be calllllllllm.

Tifa: I'm calm I'm calm I'm calm!!

Aeris: The next thing we must teach you is the lotus position.

Tifa: In this dress? What are ya crazy? Psh!

Aeris: Then what we must do is wait for the other students.

Tifa: Ok other students! There's more?? Wow, Aeris you're getting yourself a real job! *slaps Aeris on the back*

Zell wanders in.

Tifa: *gets up, and jumps up and down* Hi! I'm Tifa!

Zell: Is this the yoga class? *bounces on his toes*

Aeris: Yes.

Tifa: She told me I'm suppossed to be calm!

Zell: Calm!? What's with that???

Tifa: I know! I don't wanna be calm! I wanna be out there kicking monster butt! Ya know?

Zell: I know what ya mean!! Yeah, yeah! Monsters! *throws real fast punches at the air*

Tifa: Monsters!! *clapps*

Aeris: *still in the lotus position* And what would your name be?

Zell: Zell.

Tifa: Zell! HI!!

Zell: *jumps in circles*

Aeris: Zell, nice to meet you.

Tifa: *points to Aeris* SHE wanted me to try the lotus position in this dress!

Zell: Not in that! ...........Well....Unless you really want to...*looks Tifa over*

Tifa: *uppercuts Zell*

Zell: *stumbles*

Aeris: Tifa, don't abuse the other students.

Tifa: Ok. *sits down and cross her legs* Ohm and some stuff like that!

Zell: *sits down next to Tifa*

Tifa: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmOK! *gets up* I'm ready for some action! *gasp* What's this!?!??! *picks up something that looks almost like a flute*

Aeris: That't the modified Princess Guard. It only makes beautiful refreshing sounds.

::CRASH!!!!!!::

Zell: *gets up and walks out of the room*

Tifa: WOAH! I knew there were monsters around here!!!

::CRASH!!!!!!::

Tifa: Tifa! There's a monster and I'm gonna kick his butt!

Aeris: I'm Aeris.

Tifa: Whatever, Aeris! How DARE you try to steal me name!! *whaps Aeris n the forehead*

Aeris: *gets up*

Tifa: I'm gonna kick his butt for you!

Zell: *comes back*

Aeris: We must me calm.

Zell: Monster! Monster!

Aeris: Calm.

Zell: Big!

Aeris: Calm down.

Tifa: No! Don'y be calm! Zell, go kick his butt with me!!

Zell and Tifa run out of the room, and screaming is heard.

Aeris: NO! You have to be ohm-y and calm!

Tifa: OH man!! That hurts!

Zell: Oh! Agony!

Aeris: *sits on the floor and crosses her arms* This is not calm, this is definately NOT calm.....

Zell runs in and starts jumping around.

Aeris: *picks up her Princess Guard* You! Be calm! *hits Zell*

Zell: *runs back into the monster room*

Tifa: Aeris! HELP!!!

Aeris: *walks into he monster room* Monster, BE CALM!! *whaps it again and again*

::Monster crys in background::

Tifa and Zell run outr of the monster room.

Tifa: She like, saved us! Oh my gosh!

Zell: Woo-hoo!

Aeris: This is the monster that was assulting the both of you? *carries a little Barbie horse into the room*

Tifa: Yes! That's the very same one!! Ha! *grabs the horse* That'll teach you to beat us up!! *hands it to Aeris*

Aeris: *takes it* Be calm! *whaps it, and it falls to the floor*

Zell: What is wrong with you?!?!?!?!? *picks up the horse, shakes it and and throws it out the window*

Aeris: Be calm! *whaps Zell*

Zell: *stands there*

Aeris: Be calm! *whaps Zell again*

Zell: *stands there*

Aeris: Be calm! *whaps Zell yet again*

Zell: *stands there*

Tifa: *glances at the cue cards* Zell falls down! *pushes Zell over*

Aeris: Be calm! *whaps Tifa*

Tifa: Ack! *falls to the floor*

Aeris: And THAT my friends is the first lesson in yoga!

Tifa: *gets up and kicks Aeris in the head*

Aeris: Aggh!! *falls over*

Tifa: *looks over at Zell, and kicks him in the head*

Zell: Ack! *falls over*

Tifa: This is my class now! *dances and sings* My class, yeah yeah! *kicks Zell again* HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Aeris: *gets up* Tifa? Be calm!!! *whaps her*

Tifa: Uggh! *falls*

Zell: *gets up*

Aeris: You too! *whaps Zell*

Zell: Uggh! *falls*

Aeris: *walks up to the audience* And thank you friends for joining us in this lesson of Modern Yoga. Our first lesson is "Ohhhmmm."

Tifa: Oww and some stuff like that..............

End Chapter 2. ô¿ô