Disclaimer: Own nothing do I (except for part of the soon to be TV show Random Acts of Insanity!!! See author profile for copyright info) and own nothing do you (not even part of anything). Fair enough? ^_^ Good.

Part 3- Guardian Force/Summon Deathmatch

~It is a beautiful sunny day, only you can't tell cuz we're inside the Gold Saucer. ^_^ Anyways, big events have been happening lately, and today in the battle arena, (where a little mini stadium has been installed) the fight of the century is about to take place!~

Moi ô¿ô: *from the announcer's booth* WELCOME!! To the Summon and Guardian Force Deathmatch! We're here to find out who's more powerful! The slightly pixilated, though always useful Summons? Or could it be the 3D but pompous Guardian Forces?? We'll find out today!

~From one door, Summon Shiva walks out, and GF Shiva from the other~

Moi ô¿ô: And it looks like our first match is Shiva versus....erk...Shiva!!!

~BING!~

S Shiva: WHAT!? How is it that YOU wear less clothes than me!? I'm the best looking here!

GF Shiva: Please.....your hips are a trocious, that....pixil- ness....*shudder*

S Shiva: What? Is it cold in here?

GF Shiva: Not YET!! *blasts S Shiva with icecicles*

S Shiva: o.o Meep! *runs behind GF Shiva*

Moi ô¿ô: GF Shiva is trying to dodge, but her pixil resolution is too high!!!

GF Shiva: *slow motion* N........o..........o........!.......!........!......

S Shiva: I was designed for this world, baby.

Moi ô¿ô: *calls the janitor* Can we increase the resolution any?

Janitor: Sure. *pulls a lever, and GF Shiva starts moving normally*

S Shiva: NOT FAIR!!! *blasts the announcer's booth, and an icecicle breaks the window*

Moi ô¿ô: O.O MEEP!!! *ducks*

GF Shiva: EEEEEEEEE!!!! *starts slapping S Shiva and what little she is wearing falls off*

S Shiva: My clothes!!!!!

~The men in the audience drool~

Moi ô¿ô: AHHH! *shields eyes* I have a girlfriend!!!!

S Shiva: I'm nakey!! HELP!! *runs in circles*

~The drool floods onto the battle floor, and S Shiva steps in it~

S Shiva: Oh, GROSS! Just when I got my toe nails painted! And after all that, I....uh-oh.....

~The drool starts to freeze S Shiva~

S Shiva: *teeth chatter* This isn't fair!

~GF Shiva glances at Moi ô¿ô who gives her a thumbs up sign~

GF Shiva: According to him it is.

S Shiva: Noooooooooooooooo-*ching!*

Moi ô¿ô: And it looks like our High Resolution Beauty is the victor for round one!

GF Shiva: *blows everyone kisses*

Moi ô¿ô: Well be back soon, so stay tuned for round two!!

~+~+~+~+~+~+Commercial Break+~+~+~+~+~+~

~Yuffie appears on the screen~

Yuffie: Hello, friends. Do you find collecting materia difficult? Well, fret no more! I have a new solution to your problems........*drum roll*.........The Sticky-Fingers Materia Collector! How does it work? Thats for me to know, and you to find out.....heheheheheh...*pulls out a cute little robot*

SFMC: *starts beeping* De-stroy.....De-stroy....Collect materia for Mistress Yuffie.....

Yuffie: Erm! *hides it behind her back* Buy one today! They're only 5,000 Gil!!

SFMC: *wiggles free, and attacks the camera person*

Camera Person: AGHHH!! GET IT OFF ME!!!!

Yuffie: O.o Err.....Just buy one today.....

~+~+~+~+~+~+End Commercial Break+~+~+~+~+~+~

Moi ô¿ô: We're BACK and its round two!! Our next match up is-

Security Guard: Back! Get Back!

Tyleet (ID 24000): Get Moi ô¿ô! He'll know me!

Moi ô¿ô: Go away, Brutus, let her in. ^_^

Tyleet: Hi, Moi ô¿ô! I'm here to help you announce.

Moi ô¿ô: ^_^ Alrighty then. *hands Tyleet some headphones and a mic* As I was saying, our next match features-

Tyleet: Alexander versus Alexander!!

Moi ô¿ô: It looks like Summon Alexander is rising out of the ground, but where is GF Alexander?

~Knock Knock~

Moi ô¿ô: *gets the door* Whaaaa?

Mailperson: This is a telegram.

Moi ô¿ô: I can see that....*takes it and walks back to his seat* It seems that GF Alexander couldn't make it off of his little island in the middle of nowhere.....

Tyleet: That means that Summon Alexander wins this match! That leaves the Summons and Guardian Forces tied 1 to 1!

Moi ô¿ô: Our next match features ugly versus ugly!

Tyleet: Freakish versus freakish!

Moi ô¿ô and Tyleet: Typoon versus Pandemona!

Moi ô¿ô: They're coming through the gates. Out of door number one......The Tornado Terrorist....and the only monser with a head on his butt.......Typoon!!

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

Tyleet: And out of door number two....erk....erm...If I knew what he/she is, I'd let you know, ladies and gentlemen. Here's Pandemona!!

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

~BING!~

Typoon: I'm gonna pluck each one of your feathers bird boy! Er...girl...whatever you are!

Typoon(butt-head): *belches*

Pandemona: ..........

Typoon: No objections I see!

Pandemona: *starts vac-ing things right and left, the spits it all at Typoon*

Tyleet: It looks like Pandemona's got Typoon in peril!

Typoon: Oh no, Mommy! The big purple ELEPHANT is trying to hurt me!!!

Pandemona: !!!!!!!!! *stopps vac-ing*

Moi ô¿ô: Ooooo! That was a low blow!

~Pandemona lurches toward Typoon~

Tyleet: This could be it, folks!!!

~Pandemona beats on Typoon~

Moi ô¿ô: Shut your eyes, all you squeemish people....this isn't pretty...

Typoon: Mommy!!!

~The sky turns purple~

Tyleet: Umm....Moi ô¿ô?

Moi ô¿ô: *looks* What the?

Audience: o.o

Pandemona: *stops beating up Typoon* ?????

~A big purple monster with 3 heads, that resembles Typoon (only it wears lipstick, and a blond wig) and is twice as big as Pandemona appears from the sky~

Typoon: Mommy! ^_^

Pandemona: *backs away for a few seconds, the breaks into a run that shakes the stadium*

Audience: YA-Y-YA-Y-YA-Y!!!!!

Typoon's Mom: You won't beat up on my little Ty anymore!!! *grabs Pandemona and hurls him/her into the sky*

Pandemona: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moi ô¿ô: Woo-hoo! That wraps up round two!!

Tyleet: Umm....Moi ô¿ô? I just got a note from the judges.....

Moi ô¿ô: What do they want?

Tyleet: They say that the match was unfair since Typoon called his mom, so they're awarding half a point to each side.

Moi ô¿ô: But the audience's drool froze Summon Shiva!!

Tyleet: They were out to lunch and can't comment on that.

Moi ô¿ô: %$@^#!!!!!-::CENSORED::

~+~+~+~+~+~+Commercial Break+~+~+~+~+~+~

~Flayme (ID 41905) appears on screen~

Flayme: Heeeeeelo everyone! Are you tired of trying to be convincingly evil when you have angel wings popping out of your back?? Well here's your solution!! Wing-b-Gone! Yes, Wing-b-Gone gives you the full extent of wing- affecting lepracy in a bottle.

Rinoa: *walks on stage* Wing-b-Gone saved me from my Angel Wing limit break! It was hard on the team, me going berserk and throwing away items and such.

~Bahamut runs across the screen, wingless, and crying~

Flayme: Err....Yeah! That just shows you how well it works! =)

Rinoa: *waves to the camera, and makes faces*

~+~+~+~+~+~+End Commercial Break+~+~+~+~+~+~

Moi ô¿ô: NO GOOD LOUSY-And we're back! The Guardian Forces and the Summons are still tied.

Tyleet: I wouldn't leave this this match of my house was on fire!

Moi ô¿ô: Its time for our main event!!!

Tyleet: I corner number one.....the invincible....incredible...Knights Of The Round!!!!

Knights: *wave*

Audience: ::Cheer::

Moi ô¿ô: And in the other corner.....the biggest baddest, and so big we had to shrink him so he wouldn't put the Earth out of orbit....EDEN!!

~Eden appears, and everyone grows silent in awe~

Eden: What? Did I come naked or something?

Kights: ????

Moi ô¿ô: Erm....the all powerful Eden has cracked a joke.....

Tyleet: Let the match begin!!!

~BING!~

Knight 13 (the leader): Alright, men! This is it! Tonight we will go into battle with that....erm...HIM! *points to Eden*

Eden: Hey! Its rude to point.

Knight 4: Sir! Oooo! Sir! *raises his hand*

Knight 13: Yes, what is it?

Kight 4: Can I have a popcicle?

Kight 13: AFTER we destroy the-

Knight 2: 4 has a point. This place is hot....

Knight 6: I want some cheese.

Knight 8: Where's the potty?

Knight 13: -_-'''' MOVE OUT!!!

~The knights move in on Eden, and climb up its surface~

Eden: HAHAHAHAHAA!! Stop!! That tickles!! HAHAHAHAA!

Knight 1: Sir! I broke-d my axe!!

Knight 13: Hurry, men! We haven't much time! *waltzes up to the top of Eden*

Knight 5: *gets sucked up Eden's nose* !!!!!!

Knight 7: *rescues Knight 5*

Knight 9: I hurt my pinky toe!

Eden: Oh brother......

~Eden's speaking shakes the knights around~

Knight 11: *stands up* When do we get paid for this?

Knight 13: Erm....you don't.

Knights 1-12: WHAT!?!?!?

Knight 13: You're all a bunch of bumbling idiots! I'm finding new knights!

Knight 6: I still want some cheese.

Knight 1: Oh, shut up, and let's just kill 13 already!

~The knights gather around Knight 13 in the center of Eden's head~

Eden: *sarcasm* -_-''''' There's gotta be an easier way to win..................*shoots the big laser beam from his head*

Knights: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Knight 6: CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!

~The laser bounces off the stadium lights~

Audience: *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right* *looks left* looks right*

~The laser hits Eden in the face~

Eden: @#$@$!!!!! *falls over, and causes an earthquake*

Moi ô¿ô: *drags Tyleet out of the announcer's booth, and out of the stadium* Run for your LIVES!!!

~The stadium collapses, and a few minutes later, the dust cloud settles~

Moi ô¿ô: Erm...*gets back on his microphone* Ladies and gentlemen.......this has been the Guardian Force Versus Summon Deathmatch!

Rabid Fans: HOLD IT!

Tyleet: What's there to hold?

Rabid Fans: Who the hell won?!?!

Moi ô¿ô: I....that is.....*bolts in a random direction, and hopes he makes it to the cable car*

Tyleet: o.o *looks back to the rabid fans* Hehehehe ^_^

Rabid Fans: So who won??

Tyleet: Umm....*points to Moi ô¿ô* What he said! *bolts*

~Tyleet and Moi ô¿ô get chased away by the Rabid Fans~

End Chapter 3! ô¿ô