Warning: Some "foul" language and yes, the guys in this fic are gay. If you aren't too cool with that, read something else and don't get mad at us for writing it. Thnx

Notes: You may have noticed that the title has changed. This will occur every episode, expect it. Rampant use of pistol whipping, torrid love triangles and stuff that will probably make no sense. Seeing as this is a GW fanfic, all the parody characters will be played by the beloved G-boys.  If you take this without proper permission, you will be pistol whipped or chopped into bits.  If really want it and can't live without it then email us and we'll see if you are worthy.  Have fun!

Disclaimer:  As much as we would like to take credit for them, the G-boys are not ours…except in our heads…then they're ours, as well as the little anatomically correct figurines we keep in our underwear drawers.  Those are ours too. 
SKOZTCH TAPE (the Z is silent)

"My name is Azriel. Right now I'm a talking camel, but I'm hoping that will soon change. Rock is a toad. He actually looks like one right now, but I'm talking about his personality. Gabriel looks normal, damn him! We go to Junior Community College University; it's a trade school. My blood type is...ow!" Azriel abandoned the voice over and turned to Gabriel who was placing his gun back in its holster. "Why did you do that?"
"Well I didn't pistol whip anyone in the last episode; I have to make up for it in this one." He turned to Rock and pistol-whipped both him and Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain.
Azriel gave an exasperated sigh and continued the voice over. "Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, we were just a bunch of typical people who were going to school as a cover up for our space pirating organization, when out of no where this guy….girl….thing….came out of a flurry of confetti…"
"THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROSE PETALS!" screamed Genderly Neutral Typical Anime Villain
"Shut up GNTAV. I'm still in voice over. And by the way, that's what you are going to be called from now on. It's too hard to say you whole name."
"Understandable. OW!" GNTAV yelled as Gabe pistol whipped it once again.
"Ugh! Would they let me finish! Well, we're not supposed to know it yet, but in the last episode, Gabe met Heero from Gundam Wing. I think he has something to do with the plot. Actually, I DO know he has something to do with the plot. But you're not supposed to know that yet so…act surprised. Rock and I met up with Wufei but we didn't hear him say much before the authors decided he should die. Luckily, we weren't blamed for his death. Praise be to the authors."
A flash of light engulfed their surroundings. Azriel and Rock were transformed back into their normal states. Azriel commenced to cross herself while Gabe, Rock and GNTAV chorused, "Amen."
GNTAV stood bewildered for a second. "Um… let's see." It produced a script and began thumbing through. "Where was I…uhmm…hehehe that's funny…oh, ok, here we are."
Azriel sounded indignant. "Since when you have a script?"
"All the villains get one."
"Let me see that." Azriel made a grab for the papers
"No!" GNTAV shifted the script out of her reach.
"I wanna see too!" screamed Rock
GNTAV looked at them and said, "If you saw you would know what's going to happen."
"Well then why do you get to know?" questioned Gabe. "Now you'll know how to escape all of the ingenious traps and predicaments we create in order to foil you."
"But the bad guy always loses. It's our only perk." There was a pause. "Not that we're going to lose or anything. We're going to win this time I swear it!"
A bolt of lightning shot down from the clear sky and ignited the script in GNTAV's hands. It disintegrated in seconds. The booming voices from the sky known as the Authors proclaimed, "You weren't following it anyway." Margar sounded irritated.
"Next time we're getting Union actors," suggested Toby.
GNTAV gave a pitiful sigh and continued with what it remembered from the now charred script. "Now for my master plan!" It bent down and picked up a rock. After a few minutes of concentration, during which Azriel, Gabe and Rock could easily have walked away, GNTAV placed the rock back on the ground. The only difference was that it had somehow gained tiny arms and legs. "Get them, Rock Beast!"
"You've got to be kidding!" Azriel said, trying to stifle a laugh.
Gabe could not help but laugh and point at the thing. Then, being so provoked, the rock shot out a beam of white hot light, singeing one of his bangs. This enraged Gabe.
"Let me kick it! I wanna kick it!" Rock was very enthusiastic about kicking the rock. Gabe produced his gun and began shooting at the rock, which commenced to flail its arms in panic. But then suddenly, the rock became nine feet tall, its massive arms and legs still flailing.
"Can I kick it now?"
"No, it's too big," cried Azriel
GNTAV began to snicker. "Too bad you don't have some random parody-driven super hero to save you."
"That's where you're wrong." Duo appeared from nowhere, his normally brown, braided hair up in two odongos. Wearing his priest outfit, he thrust his hand in the air and proclaimed, "Moon Prism Power!" The classic Sailor Moon transformation music could be heard throughout the campus. Duo went through the traditional Sailor Moon transformation: un-anatomically correct nudeness, ribbons flying everywhere, the growing of breasts and finally a sailor senshi suit with bows and gaudy jewelry.
"Uh, go fish, Rock Monster."
"Grrgrurhhrurrr." Duo looked back at the group to see them sitting around a table.
"Gin!" shouted GNTAV happily.
"We're not playing Gin," replied Azriel.
"Gr-yeah-gr," agreed the rock monster.
"And besides how are you supposed to get alcohol from cards?" Rock said matter-of-factly.
"Alcohol?" Gabe perked up.
Trying to grab their attention, Duo jumped on the table to address the rock monster. Azriel could see right up Duo's skirt.
"No bulge. Interesting." This prompted everyone else, including the rock monster, to look up the skirt.
"Excuse me! I'm trying to give the repetitious and boring, redundant Sailor Moon opening. Now shut up!" He cleared his throat. "I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice. In the name of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you." Dou moved his hand to his forehead. "Moon tiara magic!" Just as he was about to let the tiara fly, the rock monster kicked him in the gut and sent him flying back five feet.
When Duo landed, Rock shouted to him, "I think your attack's too long." He proceeded to give Duo two thumbs up. Turning to Gabe, he asked once again, "Can I kick him now?"
Before Gabe could answer, a black cat wearing black spandex shorts and a green tank-top landed on the table screaming, "Du…I mean…Sailor Moon!" The cat leapt in Duo's direction. Gabe looked at it bewildered.
"Was that Heero?"
Before anyone could respond, another figure landed on the table. It was Quatre dressed as Sailor Mercury.
"Based on my extensive research on irrelevant and unnecessary data through my earring computer screen I have determined that his weakness is…water. I shall use my Mercury Bubble Blast to eliminate the creature."
GNTAV yelled, "You're stepping in my drink!"
Quatre began his mercury bubble blast but was immediately interrupted when GNTAV quickly yanked his foot out of the drink and out from underneath him. He fell flat on his back unconscious, unable to complete the attack.
Suddenly a rose came flying through the air on a collision course with the rock monster. Just a rose, nothing special. It bounced off.
"Damn." Everyone looked up to see Trowa dressed as Tuxedo Mask. The only problem was his top hat was half the size of Trowa himself. "Never fails, always hidden behind a mask," Trowa lamented, fingering the mask which hid his face. He took in the scene before him. "Quatre! Um I mean….I'm here to save you Sailor Moon," his gaze never leaving the unconscious form of his blond lover.
Trowa ran to Quatre and hugged him close. Yet that's not where the commotion was coming from. Everyone glanced back at Duo who was now rolling around on the ground, clutching Heero Cat.
"Heero, not now," Duo berated. "That has to stay on Heero!"
The rock monster cleared its throat, roared cutely and proceeded to grow 50 feet tall. "They grow up so quickly these days." GNTAV wiped its eyes.
Trowa detached himself from Quatre's lips. "We have to combine powers in order to defeat it." As Trowa spoke, the rock monster happily traipsed through the campus destroying many buildings, humming all the while.
"I'm up for switching schools," suggested Gabe
"Yeah the tuition is kind of high here, even for a trade school," concurred Azriel.
Then in a swish of cackling laughter, Relena Peacecraft appeared wearing a skimpy purple dress.
"I am queen Beryl. I am here to destroy your world with the help of my trusty assistant, Wuf…I mean Malachite." Wufei appeared standing next to her, dressed as Malachite.
"Hahaha you thought you could kill me off didn't you. But now look who's laughing." Everyone stood and listened to Wufei's laughter, waiting for a handy plot device to save them.
Rock broke form the group and walked up the rampaging rock monster. He proceeded to kick it gently on the monster's left big toe. GNTAV wailed in agony. "NO! He found the super secret 'Do not hit' spot."
Azriel stared at GNTAV, "Are there ANY creative names where you come from?"
Wufei began speaking. "As I was saying, ever since my wife was killed by…"
A large piece of the crumbling rock monster landed on Wufei and Relena killing them instantly. Duo let out a happy yelp and began to dance around with Heero.
An elderly fat man approached the group. Before he reached them, Duo, Heero, Quatre and Trowa ran off, not wanting to face school administration. GNTAV disappeared in flurry of confetti.
"ROSE PETALS!! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROSE PETALS!!" GNTAV quickly became a penguin and vanished.
"You three, are you responsible for this chaos? This mess?" asked the portly man, who was actually the dean of the trade school.
"It was a rock," supplied Azriel.
The man turned to Rock, "Rock, what have I told you about….."
Gabe interjected, "No, no, no, a giant laser blasting rock did this."
"I've never seen or heard anything more absurd than…" the dean froze in place. The booming voices of Toby and Margar…boomed.
"Don't worry, we'll take care of everything," assured Margar.
"We've been using the word 'boom' a lot," commented Toby
"And we'll erase the dean's memory."
The dean quickly began to transform from one thing to another; a giraffe, a snake, a rabbit, a tree, and then into a big pile of goo.
"TOBY! STOP PLAYING!!"
"Sorry." In yet another flash of light, the campus was restored, and the dean was back in his office.
"Ah, my feet are made of goo!"
"Toby…."
"No fun at all." The dean's feet returned to normal instantly.
Margar began to address the readers-

We hope you have enjoyed this installment of Skoztch Tape (the Z is silent). Tune in next time for another lust-filled, mystical, hilarious episode of Skotch Tape. What will the title be next time? Let's go with……Xotch Xape (nothing ever starts with X)

Disclaimer: We don't own Sailor Moon or any of its affiliations in any way, shape or form. (Gawd, how many disclaimers can we cram into one series?)

Yes I know the disclaimer was supposed to be at the beginning, but what fun would it have been if you had known that Sailor Moon would have some how been incorporated into the story? No G-Boys were harmed in the transformations to Sailor Senshi or Cat. Relena can be found in the ICU, but, unfortunately, Wufei has escaped us once again. But don't worry, we'll get him eventually.

Toby- I think we should end it now.

Margar- But how? Should it be a big "The End" or a little one? Perhaps a question mark?

Toby- Ooooo oooo, how about a little "Fin" in the corner?

Margar- Bye everyone


Fin