(A/N: Okay! Here's part two, for those few who requested it! So it may not be *dripping* with angst, but it's the best I can do!! Like I said before, Jenrya, Ruki, and any other Tamers mentioned here are 14, and there *is* mentioning of suicide on Jen's part…but hey, you're gonna want to read it for yourself, you don't want me to ruin it for you…enjoy!)

*~*~*~*~*Disclaimer: I do not own it, Sam-I-Am, I do not own Digimon or Jenrya-san!(And yet I wish I did…!)*~*~*~*~*

And for those of you who don't know Jen-san's family members' names….

Lee Jenrya (Henry) (…)

Lee Janyuu (Dad)

Lee Mayumi (Mom)

Lee Shaochung (Suichon)(Suzie) (Younger Sister)

Lee Jaarin (Older Sister)

Lee Rinchei (Older Brother)



..::..::..::Contemplations::..::..::..

Part Two: Thoughts of the Boy Next Door



::Jenrya's Thoughts::

Lee the Pacifist.

Lee the Peacekeeper.

Lee the Cautious one.

Lee, the martial artist who doesn't like to fight.

Lee, the computer geek.

I've been called other things, but I lost count when they got to be over twenty. And you know what? It's annoying. It really is. Nobody knows me enough to be able to call me that. Nobody. Not Takato, not Ryo, not Juri, not anyone. They all *think* they do, but they're delusional. They probably don't even know my birthday, for pete's sake.

They think I don't like to fight. That I'm 'the disciplined martial artist who knows better'. Well, I sure didn't know better when I hurt that little kid. Sure, I was five, I didn't know better, but when he ran away crying, and the blood coming out of his nose… I was terrified. I thought that I would lose control if I did that again, and that time, the kid wouldn't be so lucky. So I stopped performing for my friends. If you could call them friends, that is. It's funny how they all were 'busy' all of a sudden, after I hurt that kid. Hence why I became such good friends with my computer.

Hmm. I remember when I got really mad at Suichon, when she wanted to come with us to face the Sovreign. I think I scared everyone with that little outburst. And you know what?

It felt good.

To finally get rid of the 'Pacifist Jenrya' mask, and put on the 'Normal Jenrya' mask. To be completely unpredictable to everyone. I liked it. A lot. And I'd probably do it again, too, if I didn't know that it would scare away all my present friends. Just like how when I hurt that kid, I scared away all my friends from back then.

But that's not going to happen. I won't scare them away. They won't leave me. I'll leave them. Everyone. Forever. I'll never be able to shake off this feeling of helplessness—it feels like I'm suffocating, sitting behind a mask, waiting for someone to realize that the mask isn't me-the person behind it is. But no one can see that. So I'll spare them the time of thinking it out. I'll tell them in a more direct approach- in my suicide note.



::End Jenrya's Thoughts::

Jenrya carefully fingered the cool, metal blade in his hands. 'It's so small, yet it can be so deadly…' he silently mused, moving it from one hand to another. Carefully setting the knife on his bed, he pulled off the white bands around his wrists. Slitting his throat would be *too* painful, so he had decided to slit his wrists instead. A slower death, he knew that, but much less painful.

His parents and siblings were out visiting relatives, and wouldn't be back until the next day. He had asked Takato to look after Terriermon, because his mother wouldn't have both him and Lopmon in the van, fearing they would make too much of a mess, and would scare their relatives. Besides, he couldn't have the little Digimon constantly asking him what he was up to if he didn't let him in.

Jenrya slowly picked up his note and read it over to himself-



Dear Mom, Dad, Terriermon, and Everyone-

I'm sorry. I had to. I just had to. I was sick of playing a game; pretending to be someone I'm not. I know this is a very selfish and cowardly thing to

do, but I feel it's the only way I can be at peace.

Suichon, please look after Terriermon for me, but promise you won't kill him with 'Miss Pretty Pants' treatment, okay?

Takato, be good to Juri. I want you two to die a happy wrinkly old couple fast asleep in your beds- not in a moment of weakness, like me.

Juri- Likewise.

Hirokazu & Kenta- Don't give up. That's all I have to say. Just don't give up.

Ryo-Try to be human. You're not a superhero. You're a kid, just like us. Act like it for a change.

Ruki-…I don't know what to say…don't act like me…don't be a coward…show everyone the side you always show me…the kind and compassionate Ruki.





It was okay. He was sorry he hadn't written anything really 'goodbye'- ish to Ruki, but he didn't feel like going over it again. He folded it neatly and clutched it tightly in his hand. 'Why do I all of a sudden feel scared?' Jenrya asked himself, looking at the moon. 'Aren't I supposed to feel happy, that I'm finally going to be at peace?' He picked up the knife and got ready to slice his left wrist when…

riiiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Jenrya cursed as he dropped the knife on the floor, just barely missing his toes. He walked out of his room and into the kitchen, grabbing the phone.

"Hello?" he asked in an irritated voice.

"L-Lee?"

"Ruki?" Jenrya asked, surprised. "Why are you calling? It's ten-thirty!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Ruki sighed. "But…I really need to talk to you. Now."

"Well, then, I'm listening,"

"No. Not on the phone. At the park. Now."

"I was in the middle of something, Ruki…"

"Yeah, well that something can wait, Lee! I need to talk to you *now*. At the park." Ruki told him, obviously getting irritated with him.

"Fine! Fine, I'm coming. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Jenrya growled.

"Good. It's really important. And besides, it's not like you were going to commit suicide or anything, right?" Ruki asked, expecting the obvious 'Of course not!'

Silence.

"I'll see you at the park in fifteen minutes, then, Ruki. Bye."



::Ruki's House::

"Jenrya! Wait a minute!" Ruki yelled into the phone, the buzzing dial tone in her ears.

'Dammit, Jenrya, I never pictured *you* the suicidal type…' Ruki yelled to herself.

"Grandma! I'm going out for awhile!"

"Ruki, dear, its way too late for a girl your age to be going out." Grandmother Makino told her, walking into her bedroom.

"Grandma!" Ruki pleaded. "This is really important! Someone could actually die if I don't go! I'm serious!"

Grandmother Makino was silent for a moment. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"Yes! Now, I have to go!"

"Where to? I can give you a ride there, but your mother will be calling soon from Osaka, and I have to be here when she does, so you'll have to walk home yourself." Grandmother Makino said, getting her jacket.

"Shinjuku Park! And please hurry!" Ruki told her, dashing outside. ' I wish Renamon was here,' she thought, keeping tears from sneaking up on her. 'Then I could be there by now.'



(A/N: Yay! Second chapter is done! One more chapter left! I know this one kinda sucks, but I forgot about the whole 'Jenrya suicide' thing for a while, so that part's kinda rushed. Took me long enough to get this part out…but I had to gather inspiration for the Jen-san angst! And trust me, this has a LOT of personal thought in it!)

Ciao for now!

I.C.