See?  Just as I said; a moment.  I had to find a wheelchair for Severus, as he didn't feel up to walking . . . Please stop yelling like that! I -- oh, now, that's -- I *told* you that you should let me explain completely before seeing him.  I told you that he looked different . . . Don't be absurd!  I didn't break his neck.  I simply lifted the occipital bone from the atlas vertebrate in order to access the foramen magnum.  I really don't see how *else* I could have done it.  He didn't protest at all.  It was actually partially his idea -- wasn't it, Severus?  I hope you don't mind my telling this man about our private life . . . No, I didn't think that you would.
          You see, Severus and I both find the idea of anal sex to be . . . well, less than romantic.  Disgusting, even.  But we wanted to share that experience . . . me being inside him . . . So we explored other options.  The soft tissues of the body can rot, they can be corrupted and defiled . . . but not the bone.  Bone is pure and everlasting.  It is the ultimate truth . . . what we all boil down to in the end, so to speak.  It is the most exquisite beauty . . . but, where was I? Ah, yes.  New couples often experiment, sexually.  And Severus trusts me *completely.*  He didn't even flinch when I drilled a new foramen through his sternum.  There was no longer any fear.  He knows he has nothing to be afraid of from me.  I'm a doctor, after all.
          Not a medical doctor, perhaps, but certainly skilled!  Not just everyone can widen the foramen magnum just enough to accommodate a sexual encounter without damaging the spinal cord beyond repair, or -- worse -- removing the head completely!  I don't think Severus would have survived a *complete* beheading.  But, as I said before, he trusts me now.  He didn't struggle this time, and so there were no complications.  His head is certainly attached more loosely . . . but he suffers no ill-effects, as you would *plainly* see if you would only stop screaming like that . . .

          You need to calm down.  You're upsetting the both of *us* as well as yourself . . . Here, I'll help you . . . don't be frightened,  it's just a mild sedative.  To calm your nerves.  There.  That's better, isn't it?  Why are you sobbing?  You should be overjoyed to see Severus so happy . . . so healthy . . . unless -- I see.  That's it, then.  You're jealous of our happiness, aren't you?  You feel you've lost something of your own . . .
           Severus, did you know this man -- how should I put this -- intimately?  I hate to dredge up the past, but . . . I *see.*  Well, I am sorry to hear that.  I mean, there was no way I could have known, as you never said . . . Excuse us for a moment, Severus, I'm going to talk to your old . . . friend . . . in private.  Oh, don't worry.  I forgive you for not telling me about any past relationships that might come back to haunt us.  There, now, you just wait out here in the hall and we can discuss this later.  All right, then.
          *You* should have said something about it.  I wouldn't have been so quick to gloat . . . I'm sorry that you lost Severus, but I doubt that relationship was very healthy, considering the state that he was in when his doctor referred him to me -- What do you mean by that?  Of course he was referred by a doctor.  The head doctor, in fact.  Dr. Vo -- yes, this *is* a hospital.  Stop ranting!  You're making absolutely no sense.  I'm beginning to wonder if you're quite sane, yourself.  You've been acting so oddly . . . are you a patient as well?  Did Voldemort send you to me?  I really wish the nurses hadn't quit, so I could ask one of them . . . What do you mean he's dead?  I assure you, the good doctor is very much alive.  He referred Severus to me not too long ago, after all.  He's just *very* busy, so we don't see him in person.  
There you go again.  You're very difficult to understand when you get going, you know.  Please calm down.  You seem very convinced that both Severus and Dr. Voldemort are dead.  Why?  Do you feel betrayed by them?  Severus for loving me, and Voldemort for sending you to me instead of caring for you, himself? . . . That was a hostile thing to say!  If you are going to act like that . . . Who?  Oh, now, you're *very* upset.  How long have you had these delusions?  This is a very old hospital, but it *is* a hospital. . . .There are no such things as wizards, good or bad.  Don't tell me you believe in that!  Did Severus feed all of this to you, when you were together?  Or did *you* feed it to *him?*  It's very interesting that you shared the same delusions . . . we can remedy that, though, easily enough.  Do you also believe that *you're* a wizard, yourself?  Capable of magic? . . . What umbrella?  The one you came in with?  Well, you won't be needing that in here, will you?  It hardly rains indoors, I daresay! . . . I see.  That's your condition, then.  A very interesting one!  I've never heard of magic umbrellas.  Sticks are more popular.  The first thing you need to do is *calm* down.  And then we can commence with the therapy . . .

          Stop sobbing, please.  There's no reason to cry.  You found Severus!  And he's much better off than he ever was . . . And you're going to be cured, yourself! You should be happy!  I could fix that for you, you know . . . It would only take a stitch or two and the tear ducts won't be able to function . . . Shh, don't be like that.  I'm only offering suggestions.  Why are you so intent on struggling?  You couldn't run anywhere, even if you could get free.  I don't suppose you've noticed your feet, yet.  That's not surprising, seeing as how the drugs have probably not worn off.
          See, there?  I severed the achilles tendons while you were unconscious, before.  As a precaution, really.  It's not difficult.  A quick snip.  I got a little ahead of myself when I scraped away the flesh . . . but, you see, your physique is so *unusual* . . . I could only imagine what your bone structure must look like.  Particularly the feet that have to support you . . . look, you can see how large the metatarsals are . . . the abductor hallucis and flexor hallucis brevis muscles which supported the tarsals will be enough to feed us both for a few days!  If you eat meat, that is.  I suppose I haven't asked you about diet, yet.  It's a little bit drastic, asking you to support yourself as far as nutrition goes, but, as I said before, the nurses stopped coming around, and Severus really hasn't enough to spare . . .

The End.