~Disclaimer: I am not Miyamoto-san. I don't own Zelda or (sniff) Lon-Lon
milk.
A/N: I lied. Sorry; it isn't as funny as I intended. I need sprites for Zelda; all of my other sprites don't inspire me on Zelda fics!! Anyway...oh! Thank you Shawshank for the title! And thank you reviewers for the reviews!! I thrive on reviews; the more reviews I get, the more often I'll update the ficcie!! I have no plot, just an insane idea that needs to ripen into one. ^_^
****here there be lost cows****
Link looked around confusedly. His cow was most definitely missing. He walked out onto his balcony, the midmorning sun blinding him. (How time can fly when you're in Hyrule...or Termina) He hopped down and strode over to where Saria was standing. "Saria! My cow's gone!!" He cried. Saria blinked at Link. "You lost your cow? How do you lose a cow??" "How should I know? I just know that she's gone!" "..." Saria sighed. How does someone lose a cow?
"I can't believe it! Mr. No Fairy lost his stupid cow!" a nasally voice crowed from behind them. Link and Saria turned around and there stood Mido, leader of the Kokiri, flanked by his two fellow councilmen. Mido began to laugh, his lackeys quickly falling in time with him. "It's not that funny, Mido," Saria snapped, "With the cow gone, we won't have any milk." A collective gasp could be heard from the Kokiri. How would they get by without milk, nutritious and delicious Lon-Lon milk no less, with its bone-strengthening calcium and nine essential nutrients? How would they ever eat another cookie again? It was too horrible to even think about! It was worse than the Great Deku Tree dying, worse even then the Deku Babas terrorizing the village on a daily basis...
"Hey!" Random Kokiri A said, breaking the dread-filled silence, "where are all the Deku Baba?" Link and Saria simultaneously sweat dropped. "I'll go and check the ranch! Maybe they know what happened! I'm off; it's a ways to the ranch!" Link hurriedly said, making a quick exit from the group of Kokiri and heading toward Hyrule Field at a dead run, pulling the Bunny Hood from his pack and slapping it over his green hood all the while. Saria headed toward the Lost Woods, saying something about needing to practice her ocarina, leaving a confused group of Kokiri behind.
***
Link pattered across the field lightning-quick. (Well, perhaps not quite that fast, but you get the idea.) He made a beeline for Lon-Lon ranch, home to Lon-Lon milk. It was the most prominent brand of milk (because it's the only one) in Hyrule, and the only milk he had ever tasted that was more delicious and nutritious was the luscious, rare, and expensive Chateau Romani. Idly, he wondered how milk would taste with chocolate in it as he crossed the threshold into Lon-Lon ranch.
Once inside, he began to look for Malon, the daughter of the owner, Talon. He found her in the middle of the corral, where she usually stood and sang, from sunrise to sunset. Link had often wondered if the girl took the time to eat. Today, something was different, though. She wasn't singing, and Link could tell by the absence of her rhythmic swaying movement she used when she sang to keep time. Her father and Ingo were with her, and the two of them were deep in conversation, and a cow was out there as well. He removed his Bunny Hood, and pattered over, armor and weapons clinking in time with his footfalls.
"I don't understand what happened to them," Talon was saying, "How could all but one disappear overnight?" "I heard a sound from where we keep the livestock, and went in there to check it out, and lo and behold, all the cows were gone but this one! The horses were all there, just the cows were taken!" Ingo said. Malon began to hop up and down. "I heard a noise last night; it woke me up! I looked outside, but nothing was there!" "Even the cows in the silo were taken!" Talon moaned. "WHAT?!?" Link cried, "Your cows are gone too?!?" Talon looked down at Link. "What do you mean, 'yours too?' Was your cow taken as well?" Link looked up at Talon. "Yes! My cow is gone without a trace!" "Why would someone steal the cows?" Malon asked. "To monopolize the milk industry," Ingo concluded. "It's such an honor to be allowed to work here, I don't see why they didn't apply for a job." Link sweat dropped. So, it wasn't just his cow.
He'd have to look for clues! He ran over to the Silo, and sure enough, the bovine occupants were nowhere to be seen. He carefully inspected the silo, and happened upon a feather. It wasn't surprising; birds love to roost in places like silos. He pocketed the feather. He'd have to ask around about this. He also had one other place to check. He whipped out the Ocarina of Time, and transported himself to the Sacred Forest Meadow, which was the closest warp point to where he was headed.
*End Chapter*
That wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, but I couldn't think of anything really funny about the ranch or its occupants. My inspiration is dwindling...must get a sprite...anyway, chap 3 will come if I get reviews!
A/N: I lied. Sorry; it isn't as funny as I intended. I need sprites for Zelda; all of my other sprites don't inspire me on Zelda fics!! Anyway...oh! Thank you Shawshank for the title! And thank you reviewers for the reviews!! I thrive on reviews; the more reviews I get, the more often I'll update the ficcie!! I have no plot, just an insane idea that needs to ripen into one. ^_^
****here there be lost cows****
Link looked around confusedly. His cow was most definitely missing. He walked out onto his balcony, the midmorning sun blinding him. (How time can fly when you're in Hyrule...or Termina) He hopped down and strode over to where Saria was standing. "Saria! My cow's gone!!" He cried. Saria blinked at Link. "You lost your cow? How do you lose a cow??" "How should I know? I just know that she's gone!" "..." Saria sighed. How does someone lose a cow?
"I can't believe it! Mr. No Fairy lost his stupid cow!" a nasally voice crowed from behind them. Link and Saria turned around and there stood Mido, leader of the Kokiri, flanked by his two fellow councilmen. Mido began to laugh, his lackeys quickly falling in time with him. "It's not that funny, Mido," Saria snapped, "With the cow gone, we won't have any milk." A collective gasp could be heard from the Kokiri. How would they get by without milk, nutritious and delicious Lon-Lon milk no less, with its bone-strengthening calcium and nine essential nutrients? How would they ever eat another cookie again? It was too horrible to even think about! It was worse than the Great Deku Tree dying, worse even then the Deku Babas terrorizing the village on a daily basis...
"Hey!" Random Kokiri A said, breaking the dread-filled silence, "where are all the Deku Baba?" Link and Saria simultaneously sweat dropped. "I'll go and check the ranch! Maybe they know what happened! I'm off; it's a ways to the ranch!" Link hurriedly said, making a quick exit from the group of Kokiri and heading toward Hyrule Field at a dead run, pulling the Bunny Hood from his pack and slapping it over his green hood all the while. Saria headed toward the Lost Woods, saying something about needing to practice her ocarina, leaving a confused group of Kokiri behind.
***
Link pattered across the field lightning-quick. (Well, perhaps not quite that fast, but you get the idea.) He made a beeline for Lon-Lon ranch, home to Lon-Lon milk. It was the most prominent brand of milk (because it's the only one) in Hyrule, and the only milk he had ever tasted that was more delicious and nutritious was the luscious, rare, and expensive Chateau Romani. Idly, he wondered how milk would taste with chocolate in it as he crossed the threshold into Lon-Lon ranch.
Once inside, he began to look for Malon, the daughter of the owner, Talon. He found her in the middle of the corral, where she usually stood and sang, from sunrise to sunset. Link had often wondered if the girl took the time to eat. Today, something was different, though. She wasn't singing, and Link could tell by the absence of her rhythmic swaying movement she used when she sang to keep time. Her father and Ingo were with her, and the two of them were deep in conversation, and a cow was out there as well. He removed his Bunny Hood, and pattered over, armor and weapons clinking in time with his footfalls.
"I don't understand what happened to them," Talon was saying, "How could all but one disappear overnight?" "I heard a sound from where we keep the livestock, and went in there to check it out, and lo and behold, all the cows were gone but this one! The horses were all there, just the cows were taken!" Ingo said. Malon began to hop up and down. "I heard a noise last night; it woke me up! I looked outside, but nothing was there!" "Even the cows in the silo were taken!" Talon moaned. "WHAT?!?" Link cried, "Your cows are gone too?!?" Talon looked down at Link. "What do you mean, 'yours too?' Was your cow taken as well?" Link looked up at Talon. "Yes! My cow is gone without a trace!" "Why would someone steal the cows?" Malon asked. "To monopolize the milk industry," Ingo concluded. "It's such an honor to be allowed to work here, I don't see why they didn't apply for a job." Link sweat dropped. So, it wasn't just his cow.
He'd have to look for clues! He ran over to the Silo, and sure enough, the bovine occupants were nowhere to be seen. He carefully inspected the silo, and happened upon a feather. It wasn't surprising; birds love to roost in places like silos. He pocketed the feather. He'd have to ask around about this. He also had one other place to check. He whipped out the Ocarina of Time, and transported himself to the Sacred Forest Meadow, which was the closest warp point to where he was headed.
*End Chapter*
That wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, but I couldn't think of anything really funny about the ranch or its occupants. My inspiration is dwindling...must get a sprite...anyway, chap 3 will come if I get reviews!
