Chapter 4 of my fanfic 'Another Chance'. Please read and review. I would love to hear what you think!







"Rach, you almost ready?" Mark called as he stood at the top of the stairs, buttoning and tucking in his shirt.

"Yeah, dad. Ten minutes," came Rachel's reply.

"Ok, hurry up." Turning back toward the bedrooms in the upstairs, he called, "Elizabeth, have you seen my watch?"

"I think it was on the kitchen table," she said as she emerged from the nursery with Matthew in her arms. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better, thanks," he said, and then kissed both Elizabeth and Matthew on their respective cheeks. "You look tired," he replied. Elizabeth just smiled at him, and started down the stairs.

He started to follow, but he then heard Ella's footsteps coming from behind the door of her bedroom. When she appeared, she was clad in little pink flannel pajamas, carrying her favorite stuffed rabbit in one hand and wiping the sleep from her eyes with the other. "Daddy, will you make pancakes?" She asked through a yawn.

Mark turned toward the little voice and smiled regretfully. "I'm sorry, sweetie, daddy has to go to work," he said as he picked her up. "But, tomorrow I promise to make pancakes, ok?"

Leaning her head onto his shoulder, she said, "Ok, daddy."

When they got downstairs, Elizabeth was seated on the sofa feeding Matthew, and Rachel was rushing between the kitchen and her room, trying to get all of her books together while a piece of toast dangled from her teeth. Mark carried Ella into the kitchen and sat her on a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "So do you want Cheerios, Apple Jacks, or Life this morning?" Mark asked.

"Cheerios with bananas," Ella said after pondering the question momentarily.

From her seat in the living room, Elizabeth could hear Mark's words to their daughter. "Listen to me, Elle Belle. I need you to be good for mommy today, ok?"

"I am good, daddy," Ella replied innocently.

Elizabeth smiled in the living room while Mark did the same in the kitchen. "I know you are," Mark said through his smile. "But last night, you were giving mommy a hard time in the bath tub, weren't you."

"Yes, daddy," Ella admitted, hanging her head.

"Well, today, I need you to do what mommy says, when she says it, ok?" Mark asked as he wiped a stray drop of milk from Ella's chin. "You need to be a big girl and help mommy with Matthew."

"I will," Ella replied as she shoveled more Cheerios into her mouth.

"Promise?" He questioned.

"I pwaumis," Ella said with her mouth full.

Mark kissed her cheek gently and tousled her hair. "All right, then. I'll see you later, silly." Rushing out of the kitchen, putting his watch on, he picked up his bag and reached for his coat. Crossing the room toward Elizabeth, he said, "Ok, Ella is eating, she promises to be a good girl today, and I will see you and Matthew a little before 3:30."

"Ok," Elizabeth said, smiling. "Love you."

"Me too," he said as he bent to kiss her. He regarded Matthew for a moment and then kissed the top of his baldhead. "Rachel, let's go," he called as he walked toward the door.

"I'll see you around 2:45, Elizabeth," Rachel called as she followed her father out the door.

















"Let me have that baby!" Haleh exclaimed, coming up behind Elizabeth, as she carried Matthew through the ER in his baby seat. Elizabeth chuckled as Haleh grabbed the carrier and sat in atop the admit desk. Haleh inspected the yawning baby through the layers of clothing he was bundled in.

"Dr. Corday, he is absolutely precious," Lydia said as she stepped up behind Haleh to catch a glimpse of Matthew.

"Thank you," Elizabeth replied, her pride in her son evident in both the look on her face and the tone in her voice.

"Hey, hey! Look who it is," Carter said, walking toward the growing crowd. "Hey big guy," he teased, taking Matthew's hands in his and shaking them gently. "Now you just listen to me, Matthew. I am your Uncle Carter, and I am going to teach you everything I know."

"Now that's just scary," Abby said as she placed her arm around Carter's waist and gazed down at the baby. Turing toward Elizabeth, Abby said, "If you ever need John and me to take either Ella or Matthew off your hands, we would be happy too."

"Sure Elizabeth. Just let us know," Carter reiterated, still amusing himself with Matthew.

"Thanks, but be careful. Mark and I might just take you up on that offer," Elizabeth stated, jokingly.

"Ahh, his hat is adorable," Susan said as she entered the crowd and leaned against the admit desk. Then looking from the baby to Elizabeth, she asked, "How are you doing, Elizabeth? I'm sure it is a handful with Ella and the new baby."

"I'm a little tired, of course; we all are. But other than that, we're all doing very well," Elizabeth answered.

Everyone was so engrossed in the new member of the Greene clan that they didn't hear or see Kerry come up behind them. "What's going on here?" she shouted, slightly perturbed.

"I'm sorry, Kerry," Elizabeth said as she emerged in front of everyone. "Matthew seems to be a hit with the ER staff."

Not realizing that Elizabeth and her new baby were the cause of the growing crowd, she smiled. "How are things, Elizabeth?"

"Things have actually been going fairly smoothly," Elizabeth replied. "Thanks for asking."

By this time, the crowd around Matthew had started to disband, but not with any great haste. "That's good to hear," Kerry replied, now catching a glimpse of the baby who had caused the commotion in the middle of her ER.

Elizabeth watched Kerry smile at Matthew, and then asked, " Have you seen Mark?"

"Umm, yeah. He said something about a headache a while ago, and the last I saw, he was in the lounge with some paperwork," Kerry said.

Elizabeth thanked Kerry as she picked up the baby carrier and headed toward the lounge. She was starting to feel a little uneasy about Mark's headaches now. What if he really did have a brain tumor again? She had tried to put on a brave face for him the night before, but the truth really was that she didn't know what she would do without him. She pondered that thought briefly, then paused to compose herself before entering the lounge. Opening the door, she saw her husband seated at the desk, glasses in one hand, rubbing his tired eyes with the other. "Mark?" She said quietly.

He jumped up from his seat as if the slight sound of her voice had been the explosion of a bomb. "Hey," he said, placing his glasses back on his face as he walked toward them. "You ready to go?" he asked as he took Matthew from her tired arm.

She searched his face and as soon as their eyes met, they locked there momentarily, and a silent realization passed between them. Right then, he knew that she had recognized the potential severity of their circumstances, and in that instant, standing face to face in the lounge, they both knew that no matter what happened to them that day or in the future, only one thing was for certain. They needed each other. She looked at him a moment longer, and then, "Yeah, let's go," was all she said as they walked out the door.

















Mark sat atop the table in the examination room, as Dr. Messaria ran tests of his cranial nerve functions. "Ok, Mark, puff out your cheeks," the doctor said. "Ok, close your eyes. Good, wrinkle your forehead."

Mark followed the doctor's directions and when he had completed those tasks, he looked toward Elizabeth who was seated across the room in a chair, Matthew sleeping in the carrier at her feet. She smiled up at him, and he half-heartedly returned her smile.

"Ok, now, tell me if this feels sharp or dull," Dr. Messaria requested. "Close your eyes for me."

"Okey dokey," Mark replied, and then sighed. Dr. Messaria lightly touched Mark's forehead, cheeks, and chin with the dull and sharp ends of a safety pin. "Sharp," Mark replied. "Dull. . . . .sharp. . . . .sharp. . . . ."

"Ok, you can open your eyes now," Dr. Messaria said as he jotted something down on Mark's chart. Mark waited patiently for a moment while the doctor continued to write. A nurse then entered the room carrying the films from Mark's CT scan. Mark and Elizabeth both stared at that oversized envelope as if the rest of their lives depended on what was inside. In reality, though, their lives truly were dependant upon what that nurse had in her hand. She quickly handed the envelope to Dr. Messaria and then left the room.

"So. . ." Mark asked, anxiously, after waiting for what seemed like forever.

Dr. Messaria, who was holding the film to the light looked down from the film momentarily and then looked back toward it again. Finally looking back at Mark, he said, "Well, Mark, the CT showed no sign of tumor re- growth. I didn't see any sign of a hematoma or an aneurysm. Not even a sign of any type of brain infection or swelling from your surgery 4 years ago. Your cranial nerve tests were all normal, and the rest of your physical exam was fine."

Mark breathed a sigh of relief. A breath he was sure he had been holding since waking up that morning. Elizabeth crossed the small room and stood beside him as he sat on the table, placing her arm around his lower back. "Of course all of this is good to hear, but did you find anything that may be the cause of his headaches?" She asked.

Dr. Messaria considered Elizabeth and her question for a moment, and then asked, "Have you been getting enough rest, Mark?"

Mark and Elizabeth both kind of chuckled softly, but soon sobered when they noticed that Dr. Messaria wasn't exactly in on their little joke. "Well as much as anyone can rest with a six week old," Mark replied, motioning toward Matthew.

Dr. Messaria turned toward the baby, and smiled slightly. "Mark, I honestly cannot find any neurological problem to be the cause of your headaches. On the other hand, sleep deprivation can cause headaches as well as a general feeling of malaise. You said that generally these headaches are steady with moderate to severe pain that often occurs above your eyes or in the back of your head, right?"

"Yes," Mark replied.

Dr. Messaria continued, "A feeling of tight pressure, like a band around your head?" Mark nodded. "It's a tension headache most likely caused by lack of sleep, Mark," Dr. Messaria concluded. Reaching into the pocket of his lab coat he pulled out his prescription pad, he said, "I'm sure you have tried the usual acetaminophen and ibuprofen, so I am going to write you a prescription for oxycodone."

"Ok," Mark replied, and then after a moment, he asked, "And you're sure this has nothing to do with tumor re-growth, right?" He felt slightly foolish, but he didn't want to take any chances.

"Yes, Mark. I'm sure. You just need to get some rest. If you can catch the headache when it starts, try gently massaging the muscles of your neck, shoulders, and head. Lye down if you can, and relax for several minutes."

As if on cue, Elizabeth reached up and started to massage the tight muscles of his neck. "Thanks, doctor," she said.

"Ok, so if you don't have any more questions, I'll leave your prescription at the desk and you can get it on your way out, ok?" Dr. Messaria said, signing off on the chart and proceeding toward the door.

"Nope, no more questions," Mark replied. "Thanks again."

"Sure," Dr. Messaria said and then walked out the door.

Mark remained sitting on the table silent for several moments as Elizabeth rubbed his back. Finally he said, "Tension headaches brought on by sleep deprivation. I feel like such an idiot."

Elizabeth smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. "You are not an idiot, Mark. You were scared. You had a brain tumor 4 years ago, so a severe headache is cause for alarm. It was a serious concern, and you can never be too careful."

"But, I'm a doctor, Elizabeth. I should know what a simple tension headache is," he said, slightly appalled by himself.

Elizabeth smiled, and then trying to assure him that she did not feel that he was totally out of line by feeling the need for having this appointment, she said, "Well, Mark, obviously Dr. Messaria appreciates your symptoms. He prescribed a highly addictive and potent drug for these headaches."

"I know. I guess you're right," Mark said, slightly dejected.

"Hey, it's ok," she said, lifting his chin forcing him to look at her. "I guess sometimes you just have the knack for expecting the worst. You really need to stop that, you know," she said teasingly, trying to raise his spirits.

"I'll try," he said, smiling at her apologetically. "I'm sorry I put you through all of this the past couple days."

"Hey. You don't need to apologize. I know that you would have been right here for me if the situation were reversed. We need each other Mark, and I don't mind that one bit," she said. Matthew suddenly started to whimper in his seat. Walking over to him, she picked him up and held his tiny body against her chest. "You've had a big day today, haven't you sweetheart," she said as she gently stroked Matthew's back. He continued to cry, and she then said, "Now that I'm sure that my two favorite guys are perfectly healthy, I'm ready to get out of here. You ready Mark?"

"Absolutely," Mark said, hopping down from the table. He picked up the carrier as Elizabeth carried Matthew. "Thanks for being here," he replied.

Elizabeth just smiled as he opened the door for her.

















"Mark!" Elizabeth yelled as she entered the house. "Mark!" She rushed excitedly from the loving room to the kitchen, and then back again, searching for her missing husband. "Mark!" She called again.

As she started to ascend the stairs, Mark appeared at the top of the steps and hurried down to meet her. "Elizabeth," he chided. "I just got Matthew down for his nap! Be quiet!"

"Where's Ella?" She asked, breathlessly taking off her coat and scarf.

"I just dropped her and Rachel off at the movie theatre, why?" He asked as Elizabeth's arms went around his waist.

She kissed his neck gently and then smiling, she said, "Because I really really missed my husband today." She kissed his chin and then began to unbutton his shirt.

"Elizabeth! What are you doing?" Mark asked, smiling.

She continued her work on his shirt and then pulled it out of his pants. "Well, I was trying to seduce my husband, but he really doesn't seem to be reciprocating," Elizabeth said, standing back from him.

Mark pulled her back toward him, saying, "Oh, he's reciprocating. Trust me." She smiled and kissed him again making short work of his shirt and throwing it over the couch. As she reached under the t-shirt he still wore, Mark chuckled and asked, "What has gotten into you?"

Elizabeth laughed and threw her head back, prompting Mark to kiss the area left exposed. "I don't know, Mark," she said as he continued his kisses. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you all day today. When you came up to my office to say goodbye earlier, it took all I had to hold myself back from you!"

Mark stopped his torture at her neck and stated, "It has been a while, hasn't it."

"It has been almost three weeks, Mark," she said candidly as she kissed his lips and pushed his body toward the stairs.

Releasing his grasp around her waist, he blindly reached for the banister as she pushed him backwards up the stairs, not relinquishing her hold on his lips for a moment. When she pressed against him more firmly, he stumbled over one of the steps and dropped to sit on the stairs. Momentarily separated from her by his fall, he said, "I can't believe it's been that long."

"Well, it has," she stated flatly as she smiled and straddled his legs, kneeling on the step below him. "I guess not getting to do this is what happens when you are busy with three children."

Mark regarded her with a smile, and then teasingly warned, "Or three children are what happen when you are getting busy with this."

Elizabeth laughed again as she pressed her body closer to his. "Oh, don't pretend like you don't love every minute of it!" She teased, kissing him firmly once again.

As she reached for his belt buckle, he grabbed her hands, halting her movement. She broke away from him and looked at him questioningly. "Not here," he murmured. "I'm not exactly sure Rachel and Ella need to walk through the front door and find us here on the stairs."

Elizabeth pulled away from him reluctantly and sighed. Teasingly, she said, "Rules, rules, rules." Mark laughed briefly before kissing her as hard and as passionately as he ever had before. Breathlessly pulling away from her, he stood and led her up the stairs.

















Later that evening, Mark and Elizabeth both moved around the kitchen, trying to prepare dinner. Coming up behind her, grabbed her waist and leaned his head forward to kissed her neck. He continued until she laughed, saying, "Remind me to attack you in the middle of the loving room, more often."

Mark shook his head, and moving away from her and toward the island, he said, "Trust me, I will."

Elizabeth smiled, and then opened the refrigerator to pull out various items necessary for their dinner.

"Need me to do anything?" Rachel asked as she entered the kitchen, Ella following close behind.

"Could you set the table?" Mark asked.

"Sure thing," Rachel replied as she took the placemats and silverware from their respective drawers. "I finally got my Race, Class, and Gender paper back," she said moments later as she put the place mats on the table.

"Well, it took long enough," Mark replied as he cut a tomato for the salad. "How long has it been? A month?"

"Yeah almost," Rachel said. "But there are thirty people in my class, and the papers had to be at least ten pages long. I guess it was to be expected," she finished, shrugging.

"How did you do?" Elizabeth asked, anxiously, as she held Ella up to the sink to wash her hands. Realizing that he question may have been a bit too eager, she said, "I'm sorry, Rach. I don't mean to pry."

"It's ok," Rachel said, moving to the other side of the table. Then, excitedly, she said, "I got an A+!"

"That's great, sweetheart," Mark said, happily. "That must have been one heck of a paper the two of you threw together at the last minute," he said, teasing his wife and eldest daughter.

"We did not just throw it together, Mark. We knew what we were doing the entire time!" Elizabeth said, winking at Rachel.

"Exactly," Rachel replied.

"Well, I can't wait to read it," Mark confirmed.

"Actually, you don't have to read it. In a couple weeks, you are going to be able to hear it," Rachel said. "My teacher wants me to enter it into a speech contest. She picked two people's papers and mine was one of them," she explained.

"Who else was chosen?" Elizabeth asked as she settled Ella into her chair at the table. "Juice or milk, Elle?"

"Milk," Ella answered.

"Well, it was a tie between Brianna and James, but since he is too scared to even ask a question in class, he gave Brianna the go ahead," Rachel said, laughing. "I mean the boy is six foot four and has to weigh nearly 250 pounds. You would think he could stand up and make a ten minute speech."

"Public speaking actually is on of society's biggest fears," Mark pointed out as he placed the salad bowl in the center of the table.

"Are you scared, Rachel?" Ella asked, needing to put her two cents into the conversation.

"No, not really. The public speaking teacher is going to help us after school for the next couple weeks until the contest," Rachel said, sitting down in her chair beside Ella. "Is it ok if I stay after school on Monday to work with her?"

"Of course, Rach," Elizabeth answered, as she walked from the dining room back into the kitchen. "What time will you need picked up?"

"Brianna's mom said she could pick us up on Monday, so you don't have to worry about that," Rachel replied.

"Well, make sure you tell Mrs. Beck that we will take turns picking the two of you up," Mark said as he took his seat at the table. "I'm proud of you, Rach," he continued as he leaned over and kissed the side of her head













"Someone call for a surgical consult?" Elizabeth asked as she hurried into the ER.

"Elizabeth, I need you in here now!" Mark called urgently from Trauma I.

"What have we got?" She asked as she slipped on a pair of green latex gloves. Seeing the look on her husband's face, she could tell that something was terribly wrong. Rushing further into the room, she saw Rachel's lifeless body lying on the table with Chen, Abby, and Haleh working feverishly over her. "Oh, God!" Came Elizabeth's response, as she searched Mark's face for an explanation.

"She. . .she. . .she was on her way home from school with Brianna and her mother. A SUV ran a red light and hit their car. Brianna and her mother were able to crawl out the windows after the car flipped, but. . .Rachel. . .was trapped," Mark said and then paused as he watched a nurse help Elizabeth into a yellow protective gown. "I know I shouldn't be treating her, but I need to do something. I can't just stand here and watch."

"Dr. Corday!" Abby yelled.

Looking toward Abby and then back at Mark, Elizabeth said, "Mark, I'll take care of her. We all will." She saw the tears welling up in his distressed eyes, and then said firmly, "I promise."

"Dr. Corday, we need you," Abby called again.

Mark stood by the door and watched as Elizabeth began to examine Rachel.

"She's bradying down," Haleh called.

"What's her heart rate?" Elizabeth asked.

"Less than 40 beats per minute," Abby said.

"Ok, a milligram of Atropine by IV," Elizabeth shouted.

"She said her arms and legs were tingling and painful when they brought her in, Dr. Corday, but she's unresponsive now," Chen stated.

"Abby, start her on five mics of Dopamine on the rapid infuser and 1.8 grams Solu-Medrol over fifteen minutes!" Elizabeth shouted out in the room. ". . .We need a spinal CT now, and have an OR standing by."

"Dopamine is already on board," Haleh said.

Just then Kerry pushed through the doors. "Elizabeth," she called. "You shouldn't be working on Rachel. She's your stepdaughter. Take Mark out to chairs. We can handle it from here."

"Kerry. . ." Elizabeth countered, but was interrupted.

"Abby! Get Dr. Romano," Kerry demanded, blocking Elizabeth from Rachel.

"Kerry, please. I'm the only surgeon available right now," Elizabeth shouted as she tried to push her way past Kerry.

"Elizabeth! We've been through this before. You shouldn't be treating a family member, now please step back!" Kerry insisted.

"Kerry. . .half the surgical staff is attending a CE conference, and the other half is in surgery right now. Please stop arguing with me, and let me do my job!" Elizabeth stated, furiously.

"Kerry, please!" Mark called from across the room.

Looking up at Mark's distraught face, Kerry finally stepped out of Elizabeth's way. "Ok," Elizabeth called. "I'm going to have to intubate. 80 E.T. tube." As she started to place the tube down Rachel's throat, she saw Mark's eyes close as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Still no response to painful stimuli," Chen shouted as she applied a sternal rub to Rachel's chest.

"Come on, Rachel," Elizabeth said after finishing the intubation.

"Heart rate's still low, and she's still hypotensive," Haleh called, looking from the ECG machine toward Elizabeth.

"Up her to ten mics of Dopamine. She needs volume," Elizabeth stated before listening to Rachel's breath sounds through her stethoscope.

After a moment, Abby called, "Her heart rate's up! Normal sinus rhythm."

"Ok, do we have the films yet?" Elizabeth asked.

"Right here, Dr. Corday," Abby offered, handing them to her. Chen stood behind Elizabeth as they both examined the scan. "Mark!" Elizabeth called after studying the film for a moment.

Mark rushed toward her and looked at the scan. "Damn it!" Mark said, not wanting to believe what he saw. From the scan, they could all see that two of Rachel's thoracic vertebrae had shattered and were pressing closely to her spinal cord. "You're going to have to do a thoracic decompression, Elizabeth," Mark stated, worriedly.

Elizabeth handed the scan to Chen and turned toward Mark. "I know, Mark, but I can fix this, ok," she said as she took his hands in hers. "I'll take her up to the OR for a spinal laminectomy and arthrodesis. You and I both know that these surgical procedures are very successful."

Mark paused for a moment, looking from Elizabeth to Rachel. "Elizabeth, I don't know what we will do if she is. . ."

"Don't think that way, all right," Elizabeth tried to console. Mark nodded as Elizabeth moved back over to Rachel. "Abby, call the OR. Tell them we're on our way up."

Pushing Rachel's bed toward the elevator, Elizabeth looked at Mark. "Mark, I promise that I will do everything I can. I'll take care of her, ok," she said, trying to reassure him.

Taking her hands in his as they waited for the elevator doors to open, he asked, "Are you sure you will be ok? I shouldn't even have the nerve to ask you to do this," Mark replied, shaking his head and looking down at the floor.

"I'll be fine, Mark," Elizabeth said as she gently raised his head with her hands, forcing him to look at her. She then paused, and asked, "Unless you don't want me to do the surgery."

"No. . .it isn't that at all. I actually wouldn't want anyone else to do it," Mark said with a small grin.

"Ok, then." Elizabeth said as the elevator doors opened and she and Haleh wheeled Rachel inside. "Are you going to stay down here or come upstairs?"

"Try to keep busy here for a while, I guess," Mark said, wishing that there were something more he could do for his daughter. "I need to call Jen, and then I'll go pick up Ella and Matthew. Page me, ok?"

"Of course," Elizabeth replied as the elevator doors shut.

















Changing quickly, Elizabeth then began to scrub in. Raising her right hand to scrub, she noticed that it was trembling fiercely. Making a tight fist, she closed her eyes, willing her hand and entire body to stop shaking. Inhaling and then exhaling deeply, she said quietly, "Calm down, Elizabeth. You have to calm down and do this."

















Four hours later, Mark watched as Elizabeth walked down the hall toward the waiting room. He searched her face for any sign of what she was about to tell him, but the only sentiment he could find there was exhaustion. Complete exhaustion. He stood with Matthew cradled in his arms when she approached. "Elizabeth?" He called. She was silent for a moment, looking down at her feet, prompting him to once again ask, "Elizabeth?"

Looking up at him, she said, "Mark. . .she made it through surgery. . ."

"But. . .?" He asked, hesitantly.

". . .but, there were several bone fragments compressing her spinal cord. Right now, there is just too much swelling to tell if there will be any residual effects. We are just going to have to wait and see, but I'll do a neuro check when she comes out of recovery," Elizabeth said, shaking her head and once again looking down at her feet. Mark placed Matthew into his carrier before he said anything to his obviously distraught wife. "Please forgive me, Mark," Elizabeth choked out.

"Elizabeth, there is nothing to forgive. We just have to wait, just like you said," Mark said as he turned from Matthew toward her.

"I know, but. . ." At that moment, sobs consumed her entire body.

"Come here," Mark said moving closer to her as she collapsed into his arms, crying the tears she had been holding in since she first saw Rachel in the ER. Mark knew it had been too much to ask Elizabeth to perform Rachel's surgery. He silently cursed himself for placing her in that position and therefore in so much pain. Feeling her body quake within his embrace, Mark too allowed a few tears to slide down his cheeks.

At that moment, as the couple embraced in the middle of the surgical waiting room, Jen rushed through the door. Seeing the two in such a state, she automatically jumped to the worst possible conclusion. "Oh, God! Is she. . .?"

Hearing his ex-wife, Mark looked up as Jen too began to cry. Hesitantly separating from Elizabeth, but not leaving her side, he said, "No, Jen. She is out of surgery and in the recovery room."

"Thank God," Jen said. Momentarily eased from her worries, she heavily staggered into the nearest chair. The room was silent for a moment; less the quiet sniffs that came from each woman as they both tried to stop their tears.

"Mark, go with her to the recovery room. Be with your daughter," Elizabeth said as she hastily tried to wipe the tears from her face.

"You'll be ok?" He asked apprehensively.

"Yes, I'll be all right," she said, giving him her bravest smile. Looking around the room for the first time since she had entered, she asked, "Where's Ella?"

"Abby and Carter took her home with them. They said she could stay the night if we needed her to," Mark replied as he made his way toward Jen, who sat dejectedly slumped in her chair.

"I'll call and make sure everything is ok with her, feed Matthew, and then be in for a neuro check," Elizabeth said as she lifted the carrier that held their squirming son.

"Ok," Mark said and then turned to guide Jen to the recovery room.

















"Ok, Rach, tell me if you can feel this pin on your leg," Elizabeth said as she cleansed the safety pin with an alcohol swab and then touched it to the lower part of Rachel's inner thigh.

"Ouch," Rachel responded.

"Good. Now, can you wiggle your toes for me?" Elizabeth asked. Looking carefully at Rachel's feet, Elizabeth noticed movement that had been absent for the past two days, upon Rachel's continual postoperative neuro checks. Seeing this, a smile lit up her face.

"What? What is it?" Rachel asked, smiling weakly.

"Well, Rachel, prospects for a full recovery are generally very good if you are able to move and feel sensation within a week of your injury. It's only been a little more than two days now, so I would say that with bed rest and then some rehabilitation, you will be well on your way to a full recovery," Elizabeth stated.

Rachel smiled and rested her head against the pillows behind her. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you so much," Rachel replied.

"Not necessary," Elizabeth said, walking to the head of Rachel's bed. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I don't think so, but can you tell me how Brianna and her mom are?" Rachel asked, looking fearfully at he stepmother.

Elizabeth took a seat on the stool beside Rachel's bed and said, "Well, Brianna has a concussion and some stitches in her forehead. He mother broke her left leg, but other than that, they both are doing very well."

Rachel tried to awkwardly change her position on the bed, but halted when the pain in he back became too intense. Settling the best she could, she asked, "What about the guy who his us?"

Pausing momentarily as she took in the pained expression on Rachel's face, Elizabeth said, "He died at the scene, Rachel."

"Oh," Rachel said and then hung her head.

Brushing Rachel's hair back from her face, Elizabeth gently said, "Rachel, it's ok. All you need to worry about right now is getting better yourself."

"I know. It's just. . .sad," Rachel commented.

"Yes it is, but I promise you that everything is going to be ok," Elizabeth said, trying to reassure her.

"Hey, you two," Mark said, as he entered the room with a slightly forced smile on his face.

Looking from Mark to Rachel, Elizabeth conspiratorially asked, "You want to show your father?"

"Sure," Rachel replied, smiling.

"Show me what?" Mark asked as he crossed the room and stood at the foot of Rachel's bed.

He watched as Elizabeth stood from her stool and raised the blanket from Rachel's legs. Looking down at her feet, he watched as her toes began to wiggle. Elizabeth watched his face and recognized that smile as the exact one she had witnessed when he had felt each of their children move within her for the first time. A smile that proved that he was totally inspired by his children and all of their accomplishments. That smile remained on his face as he teasingly said, "Well, it's about time!"

Rachel smiled back at her father and said, "Come on, dad. Give me a little credit here!"

"Yeah, I guess you deserve a little slack," Mark said as he took a seat on the stool Elizabeth had just vacated.

"Where's mom?" Rachel asked as Elizabeth tucked her feet back under the blankets.

"She stopped to get a cup of coffee in the cafeteria. She should be here soon, though," Mark replied.

"Well, Rachel," Elizabeth said as she made a notation on Rachel's chart. "I need to go check on a couple other patients, but I'll be back soon, ok?"

"Ok," Rachel responded.

Placing the chart in its rack, Elizabeth then crossed the room to stand beside Rachel's bed. Addressing Mark, she said, "Page me if you need anything," and then leaned over and kissed the top of Rachel's head.

Walking out the door, Elizabeth ran into Jen. "Oh, I'm sorry," Jen replied, trying to steady the coffee cup she held in her hand.

"No, it's quite all right," Elizabeth stated.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Jen spoke, "Elizabeth, I know that you and I have. . .well, we haven't always seen eye to eye, especially where Rachel is concerned, but I just wanted to. . .thank you for everything you have done for her."

"Jen, there really is no need. . ." Elizabeth started, but Jen interrupted.

"Yes, there is. Because I know that if it weren't for you, my daughter might be paralyzed or not even here right now for that matter. I truly thank you for that," Jen stated, flatly.

"Well. . .you're welcome," Elizabeth replied, unsure of what else could be said. Standing in silence a moment longer, Elizabeth just looked at Jen who was averting her gaze. "You should go see Rachel. She has something to show you," Elizabeth replied as she smiled and then walked down the hall.













"Ella! No. . .No, Rachel. Matthew! I promise. . .Mark."

Mark was awakened by his wife mumbling in her sleep. Turning toward her, he saw that she was tossing and fidgeting fitfully under the thick comforter of their bed. Reaching out to stroke her forehead, he found that it was covered in sweat. Sitting up and grabbing his glasses, he grasped her shoulder and firmly said, "Elizabeth! Wake up!" He saw a tear slide down her cheek, and once again said, "Elizabeth! Wake up!"

"I'm so sorry, Mark," she mumbled.

"Elizabeth!" He exclaimed.

Her eyes shot open as his voice registered in her brain, and she looked around the room as if trying to comprehend where she was. Under her breath, she quietly cursed, "Damnit," when she realized where she was and what had just happened. Slowly sitting up in bed, she pulled the twisted comforter off her body and brought her knees to her chest. Resting her elbows on her knees, she buried her head in her hands.

Mark moved closer to her and rubbed her back. "Elizabeth, you're soaking wet," he commented. He saw the sides of her mouth pinch back as she tried to fight back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Mark, what is wrong with me?" She asked, through the tears that she could no longer hold back.

"I don't know, but I do know that you have been on edge like this for a while now," he replied, once again, stroking her back.

"I know, I know. I just can't get the images out of my head," she said.

"What images, Elizabeth. I hate seeing you like that. Please tell me what is wrong," he gently pleaded.

Elizabeth exited the bed quickly and started pacing the room. "Do you not listen to a damn word I say, Mark? I just told you that I don't know what the hell is wrong with me!" She yelled.

"I know that!" He retorted. "I just want you to talk to me and tell me what your nightmares are about, damnit!" Mark snapped back at her. He hadn't meant to, but it was too late now.

"Forget it. Just forget about it," she responded, grabbing her robe and heading for the door.

"You have said that almost every night for the past two weeks. Something is obviously bothering you, Elizabeth. Why won't you just tell me?" He asked exiting the bed, hurt by her distant behavior and lack of trust in him.

"It's nothing, ok!" Just then, Mathew's cries reached them. Elizabeth closed her eyes and looked down at the floor, sighing heavily.

Mark looked at her momentarily and shook his head. "I'll get him," he said, obviously frustrated. Elizabeth stood, her robe still in her hand, and watched as he walked out the door. She was sorry. So sorry. The images of her dreams were so real and so vivid; she hated just thinking about them, let alone rationally talking about them. She knew she needed to tell Mark, though. She told him everything. Why not this? Considering this for a moment, she sat on the edge of the bed, disgusted with herself and the entire situation. Finally she decided a shower might help calm her down enough to try to explain to Mark.

In the nursery, Mark heard the shower turn on. Rocking Matthew gently as he cradled him in his arms, he looked down at the baby's bright green eyes. "Did you have a bad dream, too?" Mark whispered as he watched Matthew's eyes begin to flutter shut. "I hope your mommy is able to get back to sleep that easily." Mark smiled. After a moment, he quietly asked, "Can you tell me why she won't talk to me, Matthew? I don't know if you can tell this yet, but your mother can be incredibly stubborn sometimes. . .but I guess I can too," he admitted. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the rocker. About fifteen minutes later, he stood and assuring himself that Matthew actually was asleep, he placed him back into his crib. "Goodnight, buddy," Mark called quietly.

Mark then walked across the hall to Ella's room to check on her. Finding her completely covered and resting, he kissed her forehead, and then walked out the door. He assumed that Elizabeth would be out of the shower by now, but he heard the water continue to run. He wanted desperately to check on her. He needed to know that she would be all right, but he also knew the frame of mind she was in. After contemplating checking on her in the shower, he decided that it might be wise to just let her come to him. He knew she would open up when she was ready, or at least that is what he hoped.

Walking down the stairs, her decided to check on Rachel while he was making his rounds. Opening the door, he peered across the room toward her sleeping form. It had been almost two months since her accident, and it had proven extremely difficult for her to keep up with all her schoolwork, along with her rehabilitation. She had held tough, though, and he had been able to tell earlier that week that she was finally easing her way back into the swing of things. In this family, though, it seemed that just as soon as they got a problem with one person cleared up, something happened to someone else. He loved ever one of the people living under the roof of that house, though, and there was absolutely nothing that would ever stop him from assuring their safety and happiness.

Closing Rachel's door, he walked into the kitchen. Stepping in front of the stove, he grabbed the teapot, hoping that some chamomile tea might calm Elizabeth down and help her sleep. He had noticed a change in Elizabeth's attitude from the day they had brought Rachel home from the hospital. She was relentless throughout her rehab, insisting on being there for every moment of it, encouraging Rachel through the pain. A few minutes later, as Mark was lost in his thoughts, he did not hear her walk down the stairs over the whistle of the teapot. Quickly removing it from the stove to halt the offensive noise, he poured the water into two mugs.

"You are all there, Mark. You, Rachel, Ella, and Matthew. All of you," Elizabeth admitted quietly. His back was turned toward her as she stood in the doorway. He didn't turn to her immediately, but instead finished preparing the mugs of steaming hot tea as she continued. "I hear voices calling me and a baby crying. Matthew crying. There are beeps and buzzes of machines from the hospital. I turn to follow the sounds, but it is too dark. I can't even see my hand in front of my face, but I try to move in the direction of the voices and the crying. Then suddenly, I am in the sunlight. The sun is so bright now that it is blinding me. But, I like this place better. Finally I can see around me and I am standing on a beach, the waves are crashing around me. It is so beautiful and here everything seems wonderful." By this time, she had taken a seat at the island, and was staring at Mark's back as he busied himself with the tea. "I'm sorry about earlier, Mark," she said, willing him to turn to her and assure her that everything was going to be all right.

Silence filled the room for a long moment before he finally turned around. "Tea?" He offered, a slight smile on his face.

"Thank you," she commented as she took one of the mugs from him.

"You're welcome," he said, placing his mug on the island and leaning against it, facing her. "Do you want to continue telling me?"

She paused for a moment, taking a sip of the hot liquid, but then continued, "Well, I feel safe and secure in this place. The sun is shining on my face, but then the sun and the waves suddenly disappear, and I am in the darkness again. It isn't completely dark this time, though. There is just enough dim light for me to see images flash before me. They are awful, Mark," she said, and then looked down, wondering if she would be able to continue.

"What do you see, Elizabeth," Mark prompted, reaching across the table and taking one of her hands in his.

She lifted her head and looked at him, tears in her eyes. "You in the operating room in New York. Ella intubated in the PICU. Rachel in the ER. A dark figure has Matthew, and he is slowly drifting away and is just out of my reach. But, somehow, if possible, these images seem much worse in my dreams then they actually were at the time. There is an eerie tinge of red everywhere," she said. Mark walked over to her and sat on the stool next to her. He reached up and wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"I don't know what the image with Matthew is, but all of those things really were awful things, Elizabeth. Of course it upsets you to revisit them in your nightmares," Mark said.

"No, Mark. It is much worse this time," Elizabeth said, shaking her head.

"Ok," he said gently. "Anything else?"

"Yes," she said, hesitantly. "Then I can see myself, gloved hands covered with blood, but I don't know what to do. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I know I need to help all of you, but I can't even get my feet to move in order to make my way to just one of you. I promise all of you that I am coming to help, but I never make it. I fail all of you, Mark. All four of you. Just because I can't get my brain to function and tell me what to do." Elizabeth said, upset by the fact that she couldn't help her loved ones in her dream. After a moment of silence, she sighed and dejectedly said, "Then, I heard your voice and felt your hand on my shoulder waking me up."

"Elizabeth, why didn't you just tell me about this before?" Mark asked, stroking the back of her hands that were resting in his larger hands on her lap.

She reached up with one hand in order to grasp her mug to take a sip of tea. "It just seemed so juvenile, Mark. A nightmare at my age. It's like thinking there is a monster in the closet. Tonight was the furthest the dream went, though," Elizabeth said, looking up at him.

"It isn't juvenile. Something is really bothering you, and it has manifested itself into your dreams," Mark concluded.

"Yes, but what is bothering me? I have everything that I could ever possibly want," Elizabeth said, frustrated by not knowing the answers and the fact that she couldn't stop her tears from falling.

"Well, it seems fairly obvious to me. You have been under an incredible amount of stress at work. Your boss is a total ass, and I'm sure Rachel's accident has compounded on top of that. You have been there to help Rachel through every bit of her rehab; you have a four-year-old daughter, who is as feisty as they come, and a new five-month-old baby who keeps you going when you aren't at work. Plus, to top that all off you have a dense husband who you have to keep in line," Mark commented, grinning into her beautiful eyes. They always seemed to sparkle with an even more brilliant hue of green when she cried. 'Too bad reaching tears is the only thing that changes her eyes to that beautiful color,' Mark thought to himself.

Elizabeth chuckled through her tears upon hearing his comment. Hastily wiping her eyes, she said, "But, Mark, I love my dense husband, my job, and my children who keep me going all the time. These things are all I have ever wanted. How could they be the cause of the worst nightmares I have ever had?"

"For that exact reason, Elizabeth. You care so much about all of these things that you don't ever want to lose them, and that has you totally freaked out," Mark said. "But we are all here, Elizabeth. Everyone of us, and we all love you desperately. Not one of us could live without you," Mark said, smiling at her. "Besides, I think someone told me a couple months ago that we can't walk around on eggshells for our entire lives. That is no kind of life to live," Mark continued, hoping that he was getting his point across to his wife.

"Yeah, well that someone was obviously sleep deprived and had no idea what she was saying," Elizabeth said, jokingly. Her tears had finally subsided a bit as she took part in this witty banter with her husband.

"No, I think she knew exactly what she was talking about," Mark replied, kissing her lightly on the lips. He rested his hands on her thighs, and after watching her fumble mindlessly with the wedding band on his left hand, he said, "Look, I'm right here, ok." She looked up at him as he continued. "And, I just checked on all three kids. All are alive, well, and sleeping soundly. I promise."

"Thank you, Mark," she replied, softly.

"For what," he questioned.

"For putting up with my nonsense," she smiled.

"Oh trust me. I wouldn't have it any other way," he said, kissing her once again. After watching her momentarily, he suggested, "Why don't we ask for some time off work? Take a little breather."

"Mark, it has only been a little more than two months since I got back from maternity leave. I don't see Romano letting me take any more time off for a very very long time," Elizabeth replied, impulsively.

"Well, we both have built up a ton of vacation time. He can't keep us from that," Mark pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Elizabeth admitted as she reached over and took another quick sip of her tea.

"Of course I am," he said, smirking sarcastically. "Rachel will be on summer vacation in a couple weeks. She needs a break, too. I was thinking that we could all go visit your parents in London for a week or two."

Elizabeth almost spat out the sip of tea she had just consumed, and searching his face to see if he was joking, she asked, "Mark, are you mad? London?"

"What? I thought it would be nice for Ella and Matthew to get to see their grandparents," Mark replied, innocently.

"My mother will absolutely drive me insane, Mark," Elizabeth said, incredulously. "And I thought the point of this trip was to keep me sane, not to drive me to the edge."

"It is, Elizabeth. You and your mother got along great when she was here at Christmas," Mark said, knowingly.

"Yes, I suppose we did. But what about Rachel. Are you sure she will want to go to London to see my parents?" Elizabeth asked, stepping down from her stool and carrying their empty mugs to the sink.

"Well, I think that Rachel just needs a break right now. She will be happy to get out of Chicago and go anywhere," Mark responded. "Do you not want to go?" He asked after a moment.

"No, Mark, I actually think it would be great. I haven't been back in, oh my, almost eight years," Elizabeth remarked, astonished that it had actually been that long. "It would be an awfully long plane ride for Ella and Matthew, though."

"We can leave in the evening, so hopefully, they will sleep on the way," Mark said, quickly shooting down her uncertainty. Elizabeth looked at Mark, and he could tell that the wheels in her head were turning. She walked from the sink over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck as he sat facing her on a stool. "What are you thinking?" He asked, smiling.

Elizabeth smiled back at him, and said, "That I need to contact the airlines to book us a flight."

"Good," Mark said, kissing her. "And if it will relieve any of your hesitation about this trip, I will talk to Romano about us taking time off."

"Well, I will let you do that, but trust me, he'll find me eventually," Elizabeth hugged Mark tightly, and then said, "Would you mind checking on the kids with me before we go back to bed?"

"I can do that if it will make you feel better," he replied as he stood from his seat.

"It will, thank you," she said as they walked toward Rachel's door.

When they finally made it back to bed, Mark asked, "Do you need anything?"

"No, I think I'll be fine as long as you are here. It would be nice if you would consider holding me for a while, though," Elizabeth said coyly.

"I'll hold you, forever, Elizabeth."







To be continued in Chapter 5. . .





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