The King and I:

The King and I: Utena Style

Author's notes: Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. The Utena cast in a musical? Is Lady Kat insane? Yes, I am. If you don't like it, tough. Anyhoo. Here goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shoujo Kakumei Utena or The King and I. Feel free to sue. You'll only get a smiley-face mug and a bottle of green nail polish.

::the Akio-car drives through a wall, into a random, or rather not-so-random theater. Akio(of course) is in the driver's seat, along with Touga in the passenger's seat. Utena, Anthy, and Lady Kat are all stuffed in the backseat.::

Kat: ::jumping out of the car, indicates giant hole in the wall:: And you're sure that will fix itself?

Akio: Positive.

Kat: Good. ::Anthy, Utena, and Touga get out of the car:: Akio-san, would you pop the trunk? ::he does so, and the rest of the Utena cast pops out:: Great, now we can get down to business. ::hands the cast list to Anthy:: Here, give everybody their parts then send them over to me backstage. I'll be doing costumes and stuff. ::goes backstage::

Anthy: ::looks at cast list:: Utena-sama, you'll be playing Anna, and I'm Lady Thiang. ::hands cast list to Akio:: Shall we go?

Utena: Sure. And will you please stop calling me Utena-sama??

Anthy: ::smiles:: Hai, Utena-sama!

Utena: ::sweatdrop::

Anthy: Bye Oniisama! ::waves to Akio::

Akio: I'm Sir Edward Ramsey. And Touga, you have the title role.

Touga: I'm the king? ::smirks::

Nanami: Tenjou is starring opposite *my* Onisama?!? And Himemiya is the head wife?

Touga: You're one of my wives too....

Nanami: I don't just want to be *a* wife, I want to be *the* wife!!

Touga: Calm down, Nanami. ::smiles::

Nanami: Hai, Oniisama. ::walks off in a huff::

Utena: ::from backstage:: I hafta wear a *what*?!?

Kat: ::also from backstage:: Chill Utena!! Jesus Christmas, you're uptight.

Anthy: ::backstage:: Anyone for curry?

Kat and Utena: ::run screaming back into main audtitorium. Kat is carrying a needle and spool of thread. Utena is wearing a huge-ass hoop skirt with a crinoline thrown over the top and a corset.::

Anthy: ::walks onstage in a tight short-sleeved purple dress and is carrying a pot of curry:: What?

Nanami: ::slumping in chair:: They get the good roles....I'll show them. I'll show Himemiya!!

Chu-chu: ::hops onto Anthy's shoulder and eats curry::

Kat and Utena: ::breathe sigh of relief and return backstage. Anthy, Touga, and Akio follow, with Nanami hops out of her chair and runs after them::

Juri: ::who has by some unknown way acquired the cast list:: Shiori is Tuptim, I'm a wife of the king, and ::rolls eyes:: Ruka is Lun Tha. ::throws list towards Shiori::

Shiori: Really? ::pause:: Who's Lun Tha?

Juri: ::sigh:: Tuptim's lover.

Shiori: Yay! ::glomps Ruka::

Juri: ::heads backstage followed by Ruka with Shiori still firmly attached::

Kat: ::from backstage:: Utena, you look fine. Touga, put the jacket *on* please. Arigato. Anthy, get Chu-chu to stop eating your headdress. Akio, get your hands off of me! Shiori, I can't do a decent measurement of Ruka with you hanging off of him. And dammit, will all of you just shut up for five seconds?!?!?

Miki: ::discreet cough:: I'm Louis Leonowens; Saionji you're the Kralahomme.

Saionji: What?

Miki: King's right hand man.

Saionji: ::scoffs:: Figures.

Utena: ::walks out followed by Anthy and Touga:: I'm *not* wearing this thing. ::Utena is wearing a blue skirt over the hoop, a lacy blouse, a blue jacket with lacy sleeves and a blue hat-thing. Her hair is pulled into a neat bun.:: I look ridiculous.

Anthy: No more than the rest of us, Utena-sama. ::smiles. Anthy is wearing the aforementioned purple dress and a lot of big, clunky gold jewelry::

Akio: ::walks out to Touga, Anthy, and Utena. He's wearing a very nice 1800's-style tuxedo:: How do I look?

Utena: Great!

Anthy: ::smiles::

Touga: ::looks at Utena, then Akio, then Utena and then frowns. Akio smirks and sits down just as Shiori comes out dragging Ruka Shiori's wearing a white leotard with gold trim and white poofy pants(think Princess Jasmine) also with gold trim. Ruka has on a very long blue robe that looks somewhat like a dress::

Juri: ::follows the aforementioned two scowling. She has on a toga(no pun inteneded) and lots of jewelry Nanami comes out wearing the same thing.::

Kat: ::yelling:: Kralahomme!! Louis!! Let's go!! ::Saionji and Miki head backstage:: Princess Ying-Laowluk, Prince Chululongkorn!! Captain Ortin!! ::crickets:: Mitsuru! Mari! Mikage!! Get up here! ::they head backstage::

::a white car drives into the theater. A girl with long black hair gets out of the car, drops a large bag on the ground and drives away. The bag happens to be moving, so Keiko, Yuuko, and Aiko all go over to investigate. Wakaba bounces over them and rips open the bag. There are five bishonen, all tied up.::

Kat: ::runs out from backstage:: Oh good, Kelly delivered my package. ::picks up a tape:: And the next four episodes of Sailor Stars!! Whoo-hoo!!

Wufei: ::sees Kat:: Oh no. Not *you* again!! ::struggles to get untied:: Onna, this is INJUSTICE!!!

Kat: I missed you too, Wufei. ::sitting down inbetween Trunks and Gene( Starwind, that is. ^_^ ):: Hi!!

Trunks and Gene: Hi.

Trunks: Could you untie me?

Spike: ::from behind them:: Us. You mean us.

Kat: Trunks honey, you can untie yourself.

Trunks: This is true. ::breaks free of ropes::

Tigers-eye: These ropes are leaving marks on my skin!!

Kat: What a tragedy! I'm distraught. ::wraps her arms around Trunks who in turn blushes:: You all are gonna be the preists in my play!!

Wufei: No!!! Not again!!!

Kat: He just had a bad experience.....acting.

Wufei: You gave me split personalites, onna!!!

Kat: Oh. Right. That. ::laughs nervously:: Anyhoo! Trunks, bring these four backstage for me, woudja? ::goes backstage. Trunks follows, carrying Gene, Tigers-eye, Spike and Wufei::

::an hour later, Miki and Mikage are dressed like an English boy and English ship captain. Mari is wearing a wraparound dress witha sash and jewelry. Saionji is wearing a open jacket and what appears to be a skirt. Mitsuru is wearing blue Aladdin pants and a blue jacket that's open in the front. The preists are all wearing....tougas...no, wait, I mean togas....damn, this is gonna be confusing. The remaining wives(Keiko, Yuuko, Aiko, Kozue, Kanae, Wakaba and Tokiko) are all wearing different colored togas with lots of gold jewelry. Tanaka, Suzuki, Yamada, and Tatsuya(the Amazons/guards)are all wearing purple Aladdin pants and purple vests. Mamiya is wearing a green turtleneck and green Aladdin pants.::

Kat: You all look....so wonderful!!!! Okay, now. Hair. All female cast members except for Utena and Shiori. You have to have your hair up in tight buns on the top of your head. No loose strands. Good luck. Men with long hair.....I'll deal with you later. Preists, you guys......have to be bald.

Gene, Tigers-eye, Trunks, Spike, and Wufei: NANI?!!?

Kat: ::cringe:: This is going to be hell.

*Well, that's part 1. Next time, the opening! Whoo! Hoo!! Anyway. Please review, I want feedback!!*