Chapter 2
The Crazy Potion
The next morning, Snape was back in the Great Hall. Dumbledore had given him a talking-to about how to control his temper. Dumbledore expected him to be back in the Great Hall in the morning. Snape didn't dare disobey Dumbledore, so there he was, sitting next to Smith's vacant seat. Smith, obviously, wasn't here yet.
"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" sang out a familiar voice. It sounded like it was coming from the Entrance Hall.
"LAAAAAAAAAAA LAAAA LAAAAA LAAAAAA!" the voice continued to sing out. Finally, Smith came bursting into the Great Hall, both arms holding rather large bags of lemons.
"Lemons?" asked Snape curiously as Smith sat down next to him. "What are these lemons for?"
"The Lemon Fair that's being held in London this weekend!" said Smith cheerily, beaming at him.
"Is this a Muggle event?" sighed Snape.
"Yeah," Smith said seriously, not smiling anymore. "You got a problem with that?"
"No," said Snape, taken aback. "No, I was just wondering why you were going,"
"Oh," said Smith. "Well, I'm going because I'm Muggle-born, I haven't seen my parents since I graduated, and I'm going to meet them there."
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Snape.
"What's there to be sorry about?" asked Smith, bewildered. He was still talking normally.
"Well, you haven't seen your parents since you graduated," explained Snape "And…isn't that something to be sorry about? I mean, I visit my parents for a short while every summer."
"Well, la de da for you," muttered Smith. "I'll see you later." Then he stomped out of the Great Hall, still carrying the lemons.
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SMITH'S POVWell, the nerve of that guy. I mean, why don't you make me feel worse about my parents? Brag, brag, brag, that's all he ever does. How cold can you get, Snape? How cold can you get?
Well, I think I'm going to concoct a Crazy Potion for him. Get him to tell me the password to his private quarters, and I'll drive him crazy the whole night! YES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now, where did I put my wand?
Snape yawned as he got dressed for the day. He considered wearing his dark purple robe, but decided against it. Even though it looked a lot like black, somebody would notice that it was purple, eventually. He put on his custom black robe and headed to the Great Hall. (A/N: Sorry about all this Great Hall stuff, but Smith and Snape avoid each other otherwise.)
Smith was waiting up there for him at the High Table, holding a designer water bottle in his right hand, waving it high in the air. Snape sighed and sat down next to Smith.
"Why are you waving that water bottle high in the air?" asked Snape, exasperated.
"Because it's water, and I want ya to drink it!" shouted Smith like a five year old.
"Oh, fine," snapped Snape and grabbed the water bottle out of Smith's hand roughly. He took a sip and…
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Snape, and stood on the High Table. He started kicking around the food on the table. Smith grabbed him by the hem of Snape's robes and dragged him to his seat.
"Now, Snape," said Smith.
"CROCODILES!" screamed the insane Snape at the top of his lungs.
Smith was starting to understand why Snape thought it was very annoying when he acted insanely.
"Now, Severus," said Smith calmly. "I need you to tell me where your private quarters are and what the password to it is."
"My quarters are on the third floor, fourth picture to the right!" Snape spilled. Then he spilled his milk.
"What's the password?"
"MIGHTY MOUSE!" shouted Snape.
"Thanks," said Smith, and whacked Snape on the back of the head with his new crimson bag.
"Hey…what happened?" asked Snape, rubbing the back of his head. He was back to normal.
"Nothing," said Smith evilly, and went back to his porridge. It was too cold, so he took Snape's.
"Oh, you little monkey!" said Snape, clutching his fists.
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Smith crept up to the portrait fourth to the right on the third floor. Before him stood a giant picture of a man smiling cheekily down at him. The man had long, blonde hair that went down to his chest, and a beanie cap perched atop his head; he was wearing a surfer outfit and he was clutching a blue surfboard to his side.
"Password, dude?" asked the surfer.
"Mighty Mouse," said Smith. The surfer dude smiled even more big (if that was possible) and swung forward to admit him.
"Brilliant," thought Smith "No one would ever think that portrait lead to Snape's quarters- I mean, the portrait is so not Snape!"
Smith led himself into Snape's bedroom, which was covered in posters of potion bottles. Potion bottles lined the shelf; a cauldron was sitting in the far left corner. The cauldron was covered in unicorn stickers. There were also posters of dragons. Smith went over to Snape's wardrobe and saw an assortment of black robes, and a couple of royal purple ones. There was also a frayed wizard hat sitting on the inside of the door. Smith assumed it was from Snape's school days.
Smith closed the wardrobe door and walked over to Snape's bathroom, with was also covered in black. There was a black marble bathtub about six feet deep, a black marble sink, and a toilet covered in black cushioning. The shower curtains were black also. All the towels were peach, and they clashed horribly with the black.
Smith tiptoed back to Snape's bedroom. He took out the small gong from his bag and took out the stick. He banged it several times, screaming "WAKE UP, SNAPE!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHH!" shouted Snape, sitting up. He saw Smith and screamed. Smith smiled down at him.
This was going to be a fun night of torturing…
A/N: Well, here ends the second chapter. More coming soon! Oh, and review!
