Chapter 4
"Solitary" Confinement
A/N: I probably won't be able to post this until June, so sorry for the long wait! And, I don't own that choose-the-bed thing, I took that from a Friends episode, I can't remember the name… OK, here we go…
Snape looked at Dumbledore, puzzled. What did he mean, "solitary" confinement? How could it be solitary, because he was stuck with Smith…oh no. He was stuck in a butterfly filled room with Smith for who knows how long. Well, wasn't this the greatest day of his life (not)?
"Headmaster," said Snape, anxiety filled in his voice. "Um, how long will we be staying here, exactly?"
"Precisely forty eight hours. The whole weekend," replied Dumbledore, trying to fix his wizard hat, which kept sliding over his eyes.
"WHAT?" said Smith, jumping up from the yellow couch, throwing the butterfly pillow across the room. "But this weekend I meet my parents for the first time since I graduated!" Snape almost felt sorry for Smith-almost.
"Well, you should've though of that before," said Dumbledore, ending the matter. "Good weekend to you gentlemen. You can't escape." Then Dumbledore quietly closed the door behind him. Snape saw Dumbledore doing a little dance as he walked away, singing "Sweet Victory".
"Well, this is just great!" grumbled Snape, sinking into the yellow couch.
"Yes, it is!" squealed Smith, sitting down next to Snape, sucking his thumb.
Snape groaned in exasperation and buried his head under the pillow. Why, why, did Dumbledore have to put him through this? Smith tried to whistle "On Top Of Spaghetti" but wasn't succeeding, because he was still sucking his thumb.
Snape tried to end the insanity (at least for now) by asking Smith which bed he wanted.
"You pick! Either one!" cried Smith, throwing his arms in the air in mock surprise. Why he was surprised in any way, shape, or form, was a mystery to Snape.
Snape walked over to the bed on the right, and Smith squealed "Not that one!" So Snape walked over to the left of the room to the other yellow bed. Snape threw himself on it, trying to fall asleep, but it wasn't working. It wasn't working because Smith was twirling around the room, singing "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof.
"TRADITION…TRADITION…tradition!" bellowed out Smith, knocking over the table. Finally, Smith collapsed onto his bed.
"Finally," Snape muttered under his breath. Before he had barely closed his eyes, Smith was up again, skipping in circles, singing the Alphabet Song.
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z! Now I know my ABCs! Next time won't you sing with me?" sang out Smith like a four year old.
"No, I will never sing a song with you if my life depended on it," mumbled Snape, head still pressed tightly against the pillow, trying to block out Smith's voice. It wasn't working.
"Oh, little town of Bethlehem! Walking in a winter wonderland! I see the great big wild blue yonder…" Smith's voice boomed, echoing five times. He was combining different songs and tunes into one messed up song.
"Please, God, make the pain end…" Snape muttered to himself. Apparently, God wasn't listening, because Smith started to sing the most annoying song in the world…
"All side inside out, she's livin' La Vida Loca!" sang Smith, prancing around the room.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANYTHING BUT RICKY MARTIN!!!!" screamed Snape, finally getting up. He ran to the door and tried every idea he could possibly think of to get the door open, but nothing was working. Dumbledore was right. He was trapped.
Snape ran up to Smith and grabbed Smith by the collar. "You listen to me," said Snape in hasty breaths "I want you to stop messing around. If I have to be stuck in a room with you for forty-eight hours, then you're going to have to BE QUIET. Unless that's going to be too hard for you…then you're going to have to answer to Madam Hooch, who will strangle you with her bare hands, since I am too tired to beat you up right now!" Then Snape let go of Smith's collar and stomped over to his bed.
Smith stayed quiet for about…(checks watch) thirty seconds. Then he started prancing again, this time singing "Polka Power!" by Weird Al Yankovich.
Snape roared and lunged after to Smith, arms straight out. Smith appeared to be scared and leapt over to one side. Then Snape got control of his temper again and sat on the couch. He sighed and hugged a pillow. He could feel Smith's craziness creeping into his veins…it was taking over him…he could feel himself becoming as crazy as Smith…the transformation was almost complete…he, soon, would be just as crazy and odd as Smith…
"NO!" shrieked Snape, standing up. "I refuse to become a part of the lunatic community at St. Mungo's! No! No! I won't!"
"Why not?" asked Smith, puzzled.
"Because," gasped Snape, clutching his fists and staring Smith straight in the face. "I am Professor Severus Snape, and I am not a crazy person. I may have an occasional weird moment, but I am generally a normal person. You can be whatever you want, Professor Smith, but I am, and always will be, Professor Snape…the meanest teacher ever." With that, Snape walked over to his bed and fell straight asleep. Then, a shocking moment took place.
Professor Smith was unable to say anything. Snape had achieved the impossible-he had made Smith shut up for more than five minutes. Smith decided to go to bed too (not before taking a carton of milk from the mini-fridge) and fell asleep.
It wasn't the end though. Oh no, even when things continued through the same routine in the "solitary" confinement, it wasn't the end. There would never be an end. Just wait until the next chapter, when they are both released from "solitary" confinement.
And may I remind you all, Smith was wearing the ballerina outfit this entire chapter.
