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Chapter 5

Trip arrived for his date with Hoshi and found her waiting for him in the corridor. Just after his altercation with Malcolm, she'd contacted him over the com and asked him to see the movie with her before dinner. It was apparently one of her favorites—'The African Queen' with Humphrey Bogart. And Trip loved a good old movie, so they'd agreed to meet there.

Because she hadn't spotted him yet, he took the opportunity to study her. Malcolm might be an ass, but what he'd said left Trip worried, once he'd cooled down.

He thought, 'Damn. Trip, you are a lucky, lucky man.' A simple red shirt and jeans accented her slim figure—but now he wondered if she hadn't lost some weight. He wiped his palms on his own jeans and blue T-shirt. She turned to him then, her dark hair swinging free behind her.

"Wow." She smiled at the appreciation in Trip's voice, but shock replaced the smile as he got closer. Trip kissed her quickly before she could speak.

"Mmm." He licked his lips, smiling disarmingly. "Cherry lip gloss?"

"Raspberry," she said absently. "What happened to your face?" A large bruise ran along his jaw, along with a shallow cut over his eye.

"Ah, it's nothin'." He looked at her so intently that she blushed. "You're beautiful."

His admiration flustered her momentarily. She raised a nervous hand to her hair and smiled, pleased. "Thank you," she murmured. Several crewmembers passed them on the way into the movie room and Trip stepped back. "Should we go in?" she suggested.

She started to turn, but Trip caught her arm. "Uh, hold on. We got a couple a minutes; I was thinkin' we could walk? Maybe talk?"

"Oh. Ok." She seemed surprised, but willing. Trip slipped her hand into his and they started to walk. "Tell me 'bout your day," he said. "Ensign Lopez get that translator workin' again?"

She laughed, shook her head, and launched into a story about Lopez getting his hand caught inside her console. Trip listened, enjoying the lilt of her voice, and studying her face whenever she wasn't looking.

He could see the purple crescents framing her eyes, although she had made a superb effort to hide them with makeup. Lipstick and blush couldn't make up for the unnatural pallor of her skin either. The circles around her eyes looked like bruises on her translucent skin. Her hand in his felt cool, fragile.

Trip felt a quick stab of apprehension and he blurted, "Hoshi."

She broke off in the middle of a sentence, and looked up at him. Her eyes seemed enormous in her pale face.

"Are you ok, darlin'?"

She looked away. "Fine. What do you mean?" The thread of irritation was subtle; he almost missed it.

"You just…ya look tired. You gettin' enough rest?"

"I'm fine," she said, emphasizing the 'fine.' "But now that we're on the subject of health, what did happen to your face?"

"Makes me look kinda dashin', huh?" When she didn't smile, he relented. "Malcolm and I did some trainin' today is all."

"Malcolm did this to you? You're barely healed as it is!" She dropped his hand. Trip actually took a step back from the sudden fury in her face.

"Whoa, Hosh. I said I'm fine." He gingerly reached for her hand. "Let's just go back to the movie, ok?"

"I just…I can't believe either of you could be so stupid!"

That stopped Trip in his tracks. "Stupid?" he repeated, as if he hadn't quite heard her right.

"Yes! Both of you nearly died a few weeks ago, and you use your training as an excuse to beat each other senseless," Hoshi retorted. "Sounds pretty stupid!"

Trip realized he was leaning back, dumbfounded by her sudden verbal attack. His temper flared. "Now just hold on a second! I…" Two curious crewmen walked by, staring openly, and Trip broke off. Furious, he held up a finger and grabbed Hoshi's arm, dragging her down the hall. His quarters were close; she waited stiffly by his side as he entered his code, and then stomped past him into the room.

The door shut after them, and she whirled around to face him. He had calmed down a little—just a little—during the brief walk. "I don't know what's goin' on, but I don't appreciate bein' called 'stupid.' You got a lotta nerve, woman, especially after…" he stopped abruptly, staring into her face. Sweat stood out on her brow, and she was breathing hard, much harder than he was.

"After what?" she demanded, bringing him back to the argument.

"Well, I'd just like to know what Malcolm Reed was doin' in your quarters the other night!" Trip said triumphantly—he knew he'd won the argument now.

"WHAT?!" A minute ago, he would have said Hoshi couldn't get any angrier. He would have lost that bet.

"I can't believe you! You think…" Hoshi was so mad she could barely talk. "That I…behind your back? Of all of the…Aaaah!" She screamed, causing Trip to jump, startled.

Now he was really getting mad. "Well, what the hell was I spose ta think? Ya never mentioned it to me! Ya never even told me you were havin' nightmares—I had ta hear it from that British jackass."

Contrition passed over her face. But only briefly, as she processed what he'd said. "Wait a minute. Is that what this," she gestured to his face, "was all about?"

He tried to look unrelenting; after all, he was in the right. His damn eyes betrayed him, shifting to the left under her heated gaze.

Her voice shot back up a couple of octaves. "Some kind of pissing contest? Unbelievable!" She shook her head furiously and threw up her hands. "You know what, forget it! I don't…I can't talk to you right now!"

She pushed past him, but Trip caught her arm, looking carefully at her face. "Hosh, are you ok?" She looked awful—as mad as he was, he was more concerned for her.

She stared up at him, teeth clenched. "Let…me…go."

Maybe it would be in her best interest to be away from him, he thought. He was sure screwin' things up. He released her arm; she didn't look at him as she left.

Long after she was gone, he stood where he was, wondering what had gone wrong, and what he should do next.

**

Hoshi made it out of sight of his door before she stopped to fall against the wall. Her heart was pounding like it would beat through her chest and she couldn't catch her breath. She leaned over, head down and hands on her knees. 'Just need to calm down,' she told herself. 'Men! Pigheaded, stupid…' She could have gone on, but it wasn't helping to calm her. She took several deep breaths and tried to recall some meditation techniques that T'Pol had taught her. After a few minutes, her breath slowed and she was able to stand straight. Her head was still throbbing, though. She considered stopping by Sickbay to get something for it, but discarded the idea. She'd been scrutinized enough in the past two days—what she needed was some time to herself. 'And now I'm missing one of my favorite movies.' She glanced back in the direction of Trip's quarters. 'Jerk.'

She started down the hall toward her quarters. She still felt unsteady on her feet but was propelled by sheer anger. Getting on the lift, she pushed the button and leaned back against the wall for support. Damn him, I can't believe, of all the ignorant, chauvinistic things to do…

The lift opened onto her floor. She stepped off and walked to her door. Before opening it, she heard a sound down the hall. "Hello?" she called. When she got no response, an overwhelming panic rose up in her belly. She punched her security code into the door but nothing happened. "No! Please open." She could feel hysteria welling up and she began to hit the keys again.

"Hoshi?" She screamed and whirled to find Malcolm standing behind her.

He jumped back, surprised.

"Malcolm, don't do that!  Didn't you hear me calling?  Do you always creep up on people?" She slumped against the door behind her. Her head was spinning again.

"Calm down. I am sorry if I frightened you." He smiled. "At least it was in a lit hallway this time."

She stopped and stared at him for a minute. "You."

Malcolm waited and, getting no response, said, "Yes?"

"I missed my favorite movie because of you. You, GOD, you men!  You think that because of some left over Neanderthal gene driving you to be the alpha male, you have the right to pound each other like…like…pieces of meat!  Well guess what?  We women are not impressed. You…you…simpleton!"

She started to continue but Malcolm held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry about your movie," he said, privately wondering what he had to do with it. He continued, "I am embarrassed by my behavior. I was just on my way to talk to Commander Tucker."

Hoshi stopped talking and turned and opened her door. She looked at Malcolm and said tightly, "Tea?"

He nodded his consent and followed her into her quarters.  She got the tea ready and they went back to how they had sat the other night. Neither person said a word for a long time; they just sat in silence.

"I am concerned about you, Hoshi. You don't seem to be yourself lately."

Hoshi sipped her tea and finally raised her head to look him in the eye. "Thank you for your concern. It's nice of you to ask but I'm ok." She tried to smile but failed.

Malcolm set down his tea and walked over, sitting down in front of her on the floor. She looked down at him, tears welling up in her eyes.

He reached up, putting his hand against her cheek. "Don't cry, Hoshi."

A tear ran down her cheek and he brushed it away with his fingers.

She leaned forward, pressing her head against his forehead. He felt so warm and safe. She was never scared if she knew Malcolm was there. She kissed his forehead and he stiffened.

**

When she kissed him, Malcolm was shocked. Heat rushed to areas that he had been trying to ignore of late. As she watched him he could see something in her eyes that he had never seen before. He brushed his fingertip across her bottom lip. Finally, able to resist no longer, he brought her lips down to his. At first he simply pressed his lips to hers and leaned back to look at her again. Her breathing sped up but she didn't pull away. Leaning in again, this time he looked for entrance with his tongue. She parted her lips and he entered her mouth, tasting her for the first time. He moaned and pressed her back on the bed. They kissed over and over, one not letting the other get far away. Malcolm moved his hands lower, moving her shirt aside and running his hands up the bare skin of her back.

Hoshi sat up abruptly, smacking her head on the top of her bunk. She grabbed her head where it had hit, rubbing the spot.

"Oh god, oh god, you need to go, Malcolm."

Malcolm rolled out of bed, his feet hitting the floor. "I am so sorry, Ensign. Please forgive me."

"Just go, Malcolm."

He ran a hand through his hair and left the room, heading for his quarters. A conversation with Trip was out of the question at the moment.

"Oh god," Hoshi turned and buried her face in the pillow. 'What's wrong with me? I scream at Trip for not trusting me and a few minutes later I justify everything he's thinking.'

She lay on her bunk and cried, wondering what kind of person she was becoming, until she finally fell asleep.

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