She couldn't sleep.
Jaina laid flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She had been tossing and turning for over an hour now but no matter what she did, she could not get comfortable. It was odd, she decided, that the night before she had no problem getting to sleep. Tonight it was much different. Perhaps it was because the previous night she was tired from the trip back to Borleias and she was able to sleep on a soft mattress with a plush pillow underneath her head. Tonight, she was more alert than she wanted to be. She had a long day ahead of her tomorrow and she wanted to be rested and relaxed. She blew out a breath, ran her fingers through her hair.
She missed Jag.
That sounded silly since she had been with him for a good two hours in Wedge's office then had dinner with him and the other Twin Suns pilots and had seen him off and on throughout the day. They were lucky that Wedge wasn't angry with them for initially deceiving him about the circumstances surrounding their stay on Drognan. In fact, she had sensed Wedge's surprise at his nephew's failed attempt to lie to him and their apparent closeness. Of course, if Wedge suspected there was more going on between them he never would have verbalized it. Unlike her father. She was still embarrassed by his behaviour.
It was going to be difficult keeping their relationship a secret. It was probably for the best, given the situation they were in. It was probably for the worst, too, Jaina decided. For now that she and Jag had acknowledged they loved each other, they were going to worry moreso about each other's well-being.
She had gotten so use to having Jag with her during the four days on Drognan, she felt lost without him. She expected to see him come into the room, carrying a carafe of wine and dazzling her with one of the rare smiles he graced only her with. She yearned to feel the warmth of his body next to her while she settled into sleep, his arms strong and loving around her. She missed waking up before him and losing herself in the soft sound of his breathing while he was deep in slumber. She missed studying him when he thought she wasn't looking. There was such strength and compassion and so many more wonderful qualities she could see in his profile, feel through the Force.
How could she ever survive without him?
Jaina crawled out of bed and crossed the small space to where her clothes were. She dressed quickly and then quietly slipped out of her room. It was well past midnight and most of the base was asleep, except for the night sentries and patrols Wedge kept busy. She walked down the corridor and exited the building at the furthest door. It brought her out near the spaceport. Perhaps now was a good time to get another X-Wing ready for her. Only this time, Solo, try not to crash it.
She slowed her pace as she came closer to the landing grid where the Clawcraft was berthed. She would never be able to look at the ship the same again. True, it was a deadly vessel but now it was so much more. It was a safe little haven that for four hours she and Jag had shared. His discomfort while she moved around on his lap was endearing and his firm hold around her waist had assured her that he wasn't going to let anything happen to her. They had talked and laughed and she had unwittingly made him suffer. She wondered if Jag would be thinking the same way as she was now, that every time he sat in the cockpit he'd be reminded of her and the kiss they shared before they exited and faced their families.
She sensed his presence before she reached the landing grid. So Jag couldn't sleep either. A smile touched Jaina's face as she touched on his thoughts briefly. He was thinking about the trip back to Borleias. Jaina spotted him quickly then. He was sitting on the ground, his back pressed up against the ship. His head was leaning back, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. His arms were folded across his chest. As she approached him, Jaina realized that his eyes were closed. Not in sleep. In silent reverie.
He hadn't noticed her arrival. Jaina looked down at him. Was he aware of how handsome he was? She had thought that once before and concluded that Jag probably had no idea how appealing he was to the female eye. He wasn't a naive man by any means but when it came to his appearance, he was as clueless as a monkey-lizard.
She kicked the sole of his boot. Jag blinked and looked at her. "Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all."
Jaina grinned and sat down next to him. She mimicked his position, stretching her legs out in front of her. Her hands rested on her lap. She was glad she had sensed him here. Tonight would probably be the last night they'd have to spend any time together and even if that meant they'd only be sitting here for five minutes, she would gladly take it.
Jag unfolded his arms and rested his right hand on her leg, palm-side up. The landing grid was dark and they were relatively shielded from any prying eyes. Jaina placed her hand on his, lacing their fingers together. She leaned her head back against the ship and followed Jag's stare upward. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the stars seemed to be twinkling down at them as if to say, 'Here we are. We will be your light. We will protect you and keep you safe.' Her thoughts drifted briefly to Chewbacca, Anakin, Davin, and Cherith and she suddenly felt as if nothing could ever harm them.
"I love you, Jaina." Jag's voice was barely above a whisper.
She smiled, felt the tear slip down her cheek. "I love you."
They sat there in silence but for how long, Jaina didn't know. Jag squeezed her hand every now and then just to let her know that he was awake and thinking of her. He didn't need to do that, though. His thoughts were on the same path hers were. He was worried about the future, afraid that somehow they would be separated and lose each other. He thought about his life with her, held his hopes and dreams close to his heart.
Jaina raised his hand to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss. She felt Jag's love wash over her, could almost feel his smile. Out among the stars, beyond the Pyria system, a war was being fought. Beings were running and fighting for their very survival. Death and destruction touched more lives that it should have been allowed. Pain and suffering was a way of life. Soon, she would return to active duty and she and Jag and their friends and family would once again be thrust in battle after battle.
She would worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, here with Jag, under the stars and safe in his presence, all was right with the universe.
Jaina laid flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She had been tossing and turning for over an hour now but no matter what she did, she could not get comfortable. It was odd, she decided, that the night before she had no problem getting to sleep. Tonight it was much different. Perhaps it was because the previous night she was tired from the trip back to Borleias and she was able to sleep on a soft mattress with a plush pillow underneath her head. Tonight, she was more alert than she wanted to be. She had a long day ahead of her tomorrow and she wanted to be rested and relaxed. She blew out a breath, ran her fingers through her hair.
She missed Jag.
That sounded silly since she had been with him for a good two hours in Wedge's office then had dinner with him and the other Twin Suns pilots and had seen him off and on throughout the day. They were lucky that Wedge wasn't angry with them for initially deceiving him about the circumstances surrounding their stay on Drognan. In fact, she had sensed Wedge's surprise at his nephew's failed attempt to lie to him and their apparent closeness. Of course, if Wedge suspected there was more going on between them he never would have verbalized it. Unlike her father. She was still embarrassed by his behaviour.
It was going to be difficult keeping their relationship a secret. It was probably for the best, given the situation they were in. It was probably for the worst, too, Jaina decided. For now that she and Jag had acknowledged they loved each other, they were going to worry moreso about each other's well-being.
She had gotten so use to having Jag with her during the four days on Drognan, she felt lost without him. She expected to see him come into the room, carrying a carafe of wine and dazzling her with one of the rare smiles he graced only her with. She yearned to feel the warmth of his body next to her while she settled into sleep, his arms strong and loving around her. She missed waking up before him and losing herself in the soft sound of his breathing while he was deep in slumber. She missed studying him when he thought she wasn't looking. There was such strength and compassion and so many more wonderful qualities she could see in his profile, feel through the Force.
How could she ever survive without him?
Jaina crawled out of bed and crossed the small space to where her clothes were. She dressed quickly and then quietly slipped out of her room. It was well past midnight and most of the base was asleep, except for the night sentries and patrols Wedge kept busy. She walked down the corridor and exited the building at the furthest door. It brought her out near the spaceport. Perhaps now was a good time to get another X-Wing ready for her. Only this time, Solo, try not to crash it.
She slowed her pace as she came closer to the landing grid where the Clawcraft was berthed. She would never be able to look at the ship the same again. True, it was a deadly vessel but now it was so much more. It was a safe little haven that for four hours she and Jag had shared. His discomfort while she moved around on his lap was endearing and his firm hold around her waist had assured her that he wasn't going to let anything happen to her. They had talked and laughed and she had unwittingly made him suffer. She wondered if Jag would be thinking the same way as she was now, that every time he sat in the cockpit he'd be reminded of her and the kiss they shared before they exited and faced their families.
She sensed his presence before she reached the landing grid. So Jag couldn't sleep either. A smile touched Jaina's face as she touched on his thoughts briefly. He was thinking about the trip back to Borleias. Jaina spotted him quickly then. He was sitting on the ground, his back pressed up against the ship. His head was leaning back, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. His arms were folded across his chest. As she approached him, Jaina realized that his eyes were closed. Not in sleep. In silent reverie.
He hadn't noticed her arrival. Jaina looked down at him. Was he aware of how handsome he was? She had thought that once before and concluded that Jag probably had no idea how appealing he was to the female eye. He wasn't a naive man by any means but when it came to his appearance, he was as clueless as a monkey-lizard.
She kicked the sole of his boot. Jag blinked and looked at her. "Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all."
Jaina grinned and sat down next to him. She mimicked his position, stretching her legs out in front of her. Her hands rested on her lap. She was glad she had sensed him here. Tonight would probably be the last night they'd have to spend any time together and even if that meant they'd only be sitting here for five minutes, she would gladly take it.
Jag unfolded his arms and rested his right hand on her leg, palm-side up. The landing grid was dark and they were relatively shielded from any prying eyes. Jaina placed her hand on his, lacing their fingers together. She leaned her head back against the ship and followed Jag's stare upward. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the stars seemed to be twinkling down at them as if to say, 'Here we are. We will be your light. We will protect you and keep you safe.' Her thoughts drifted briefly to Chewbacca, Anakin, Davin, and Cherith and she suddenly felt as if nothing could ever harm them.
"I love you, Jaina." Jag's voice was barely above a whisper.
She smiled, felt the tear slip down her cheek. "I love you."
They sat there in silence but for how long, Jaina didn't know. Jag squeezed her hand every now and then just to let her know that he was awake and thinking of her. He didn't need to do that, though. His thoughts were on the same path hers were. He was worried about the future, afraid that somehow they would be separated and lose each other. He thought about his life with her, held his hopes and dreams close to his heart.
Jaina raised his hand to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss. She felt Jag's love wash over her, could almost feel his smile. Out among the stars, beyond the Pyria system, a war was being fought. Beings were running and fighting for their very survival. Death and destruction touched more lives that it should have been allowed. Pain and suffering was a way of life. Soon, she would return to active duty and she and Jag and their friends and family would once again be thrust in battle after battle.
She would worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, here with Jag, under the stars and safe in his presence, all was right with the universe.
