The dishes had been cleaned and placed on the chest near the door. The
candles on the mantle had burned down to the very last of the wick. The
curtains that had served as their blankets had been dusted off and put back
on the curtain rods they belonged to. The fire had not been re-ignited when
they'd woken; the embers had quickly turned cold and ashen. The 'fresher
had been cleaned up, the damp cloths hung on the rusted hooks to dry. The
dining hall had been straightened up and everything seemed in place.
Jaina fastened the utility belt around her waist; noticed the torn fabric of her flight suit. She sighed heavily, looking around the room to make sure she hadn't missed anything. For the last hour she had been trying to think of a way to stay longer on Drognan. She thought about telling Jag that her ribs still bothered her and she wasn't flight-ready yet. She considered suggesting that he leave her here while he summoned a transport to come and pick her up. She contemplated feigning illness, she imagined she could fool him into thinking she had fainted while staying in a Jedi trance for a few hours.
No matter what excuse she tried to come up with, they all led back to the fact that sooner or later they would have to return to Borleias.
She stood in front of the table, her fingers resting on the back of a chair. The dress she had worn the night before was laid flat on the surface of the table, still damp from the washing she had given it. Her fingers traced over the soft material, the memory of last night so very fresh in her mind.
If someone had asked her months ago if she thought that she and Jag would become more than friends she would have laughed in their face. After last night, she couldn't imagine being just a friend to him. In the last several days they had confided in each other and shared stories and thoughts and feelings and Jaina wanted to forever stay in this little paradise with Jag; to spend the rest of her life discovering all his secrets, talking of his hopes and dreams, learning not only his mind but his body. She wanted to share her life with him and the uncertainty of what may yet happen in this war threatened to rob her of that future.
She wished she could take the dress with her. It was a reminder of the most wonderfully sweet night of her life. Her mind constantly replayed the waltz Jag had led her through and the way their bodies had moved as one. Her lips yearned to feel the gentle press of his again. Her heart pounded in her chest at the very thought of him. She felt fluttery and light all over and wanted to spend every waking moment with him.
Once they returned to Borleias things would be different. They would revert back to their professional relationship and continue about as if nothing had happened. Jaina didn't want that to happen yet it was the most logical thing for them to do. They needed to remain focused on the task at hand and she had already learned that when she was around Jag it was very easy to become distracted. It would be good for them to be back in action again. She would resume command of Twin Suns. Jag would willingly fly with her and follow her orders. She would be around her family again and they would be able to begin healing together.
Yet she would trade it all for one more day with Jag.
Jaina walked to the other end of the table where the music player still sat. She turned it on and the voice of Isadora Falansi began to play. She had already listened to it once while Jag was out checking the Clawcraft. The soft, poignant voice of the Taanab native gently carried throughout the dining hall, slicing through the silence.
She turned half-way to face toward the windows. Outside it was still gray but the snow no longer hindered her vision and Jaina could see some of the trees that surrounded the fortified house. As much as she tried to squelch them before they started, tears began to stream her cheeks and she felt an unbearable ache grip her heart.
She did not want to go.
"All systems are back online and operational." Jag was staying as he entered the room. "I'll have to have someone take a look at the engine when we get back."
Jaina swiped at her cheeks before she turned to face him. She didn't want him to see her tears. She needed to be strong now. "You mean you're actually going to let someone else touch your ship?"
"No. I said I'll have someone take a look at it."
Turning to face him, she put on her best brave face. "If you think that it's unsafe, I could wait here and you go and get help. I don't mind waiting for a transport."
He stripped off his flight gloves and set them down on the table next to the dress. He was dressed in his flight suit as well and Jaina wondered briefly if there was ever a time where Jag didn't look handsome. She had yet to see that moment.
"I'm not leaving you here alone and I wouldn't consider flying if I didn't think it wasn't safe." He walked over to the fireplace, checking to make sure there were no lingering flickers of flame. "It may be a tight fit but the journey back is only four, maybe five hours."
"I'm not sure I'm flight ready." she said, placing her hand on her left side.
Jag turned to face her. "Did you put your binding back on?"
"Well, no. I didn't think I needed it."
"As soon as we get to Borleias, we'll get you to the med-ward. You'll be feeling like yourself in no time."
*Looks like the Jedi trance trick is my last resort.*
Even as she thought about faking a fainting spell, Jaina knew it wouldn't work. Jag was being reasonable. Their families were worried about them. They couldn't delay it any longer.
She walked slowly back over to where the dress lay and stood next to Jag. "I tried to put the drapes back up but the brackets are broken."
Jag nodded. "I accidently broke them while taking them down. I hope the owners don't get too upset when they see it."
"Do you think they'll ever come back? The owners?"
"I don't know. I'd have to say no, considering the shape this place was in when we got here."
Her fingers ran over the shimmersilk once more. "I wish I could take this with me. If the owners come back, they might be upset to find it gone."
"We can have a dress designed just like it when the war is over."
Jaina looked up at him and saw the faint sparkle in his eyes. His arms were folded across his chest and he was watching her pensively. She touched on his feelings and was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who regretting leaving Drognan. She turned to face him, placed a hand on his arm.
"Can't we stay just a little longer? A few hours won't make a difference."
Jag sighed, taking both of her hands in his. He held them gingerly, his thumbs slowly stroking her skin. "We have to get back, Jaina. You know that."
"I know." She lowered her head, staring at their feet. "What's going to happen to us?"
He tensed a little and Jaina sensed the uncertainty course through him as he considered that question. After a moment of silence, he answered simply, "I don't know."
"I'm afraid, Jag." Jaina felt the tears start again and struggled to force them down. "I'm afraid that when we get back we're going to get lost in this war and we're not going to find our way back to each other. That we're not going to find our way back to this moment."
A finger caught under her chin and Jag brought her stare back up to meet his. He gently wiped away a tear. "I'm not going to let that happen. We will always have this moment. I'm not gong to forget, Jaina. Not Drognan. Not you."
"I don't want to go back to the killing and the destruction. I want to stay here, where there is nothing but peace and happiness and love." Her bottom lip started to quiver and Jaina thought she was going to lose all her composure and break down in Jag's arms.
"Nor do I." He brushed her hair away from her eyes then took her hands in his again. "I'm afraid that when we get back to Borleias I'm going to revert back to the person I was before we came here. I don't want that to happen. I'm just beginning to discover things about myself that I never knew existed. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I like who I am becoming."
"So do I." She managed a smile and when Jag returned the gesture, Jaina's heart skipped a beat. *If this is what falling in love feels like, I don't ever want to feel anything else again.* Taking his hands, she led him over to the spot they had designated the dance floor the night before.
"One more dance? Before we leave?"
Jag's smile grew. "Are you going to treat me to that rather evocative dance you did last night?"
Jaina felt her cheeks flush. "No. I was half-drunk when I did that. I'm rather embarrassed by that."
"Don't be. I rather enjoyed it." He glanced around the room. "I think there is still some wine left..."
"Jag!" She punched him in the shoulder and smirked when he grunted.
"You enjoy inflicting pain on me don't you?"
She laughed and happily went into his embrace. "It's not my fault you're an easy target."
"Ah. A flaw in my upbringing then."
The song that started to play was an enchanting melody, the singer's voice graceful and lovely. Jaina expected Jag to start leading her through the waltz but he did not move. They stood between windows and table, hands laced as if to fuse them as one. She pulled back a little to glance up at him.
*Once, as my heart remembers, all the stars were fallen embers. Once, when night seemed forever. I was with you.*
He was looking down at her.
Jaina reached out her hand and brushed her fingers over his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin and the slight prickle of stubble. He was studying her, unsmiling. His lips were hot and full beneath her fingers. Just beneath the sombreness of his look was another man, one who looked down on her with sparking pale green eyes.
She wondered briefly if there had been a time she had feared Jag. Not because of his ability as a pilot but because of the man she had been introduced to. She couldn't feel fear in his presence ever, she realized. Not now, not after spending the last several days on Drognan with him. He fascinated her. There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. It was as if he saw her as a woman and had his own thoughts about what he'd like to do with her.
He could silence her with a look and make her cheeks blush. Not from embarrassment but instead anticipation. Her blood rushed, hot, through her body. Her breath grew tight.
*Once, in the care of morning, in the air was all belonging. Once, when that day was dawning, I was with you.*
Jag lowered his head slowly. Jaina simply waited and sighed when she felt the texture of his lips, the heat of his mouth. She arched closer to him, her lips falling open beneath his. He coaxed her to him, the emotion hinted at in his gaze there fully in his kiss. He murmured something, a word, an endearment or a command, she wasn't sure. His hand came up and gently flattened against her cheek, tilted her head. She moaned, a simple sound that echoed her body's enchantment with such a thing. Her helpless murmur connected them, a breath passed from one to the other. The kiss grew deeper until there was only shadows in her mind.
She wanted to be inhaled by him.
*How far we are from morning, how far we are? And the stars shining through the darkness, falling in the air.*
A breath escaped her, one and then another. There were no thoughts in her mind, only an ache that brought no pain. It spread throughout her body, heated her chest, raced to her toes. His lips were soft and warm, the touch of his tongue both shocking and welcomed. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his flight suit, pressing against the texture in frustration. His skin was shielded and covered from her, and she could not touch him, could not feel the heat of him.
Was life given in the power of a kiss? She felt her body change, her breath grow tight. A sensation like fire raged through her. One hand wound around his neck, the other strayed to his cheek, thumb pressed against his jaw as if to hold him closer. His skin was almost hot beneath her palm.
*Once, as the night was leaving, into us our dreams were weaving. Once, all dreams were worth keeping. I was with you.*
He pulled her toward him, the tightness of their embrace accentuating all their differences. Curves against solid muscle. Hollows pressed into hard flesh. His height and strength. Her softness.
Something within her whimpered, craved him. Demanded him. Something wild and yearning.
Long moments later, he lifted his head, ending the kiss. Jaina blinked and opened her eyes, a sound of protest on her lips. Jag's expression was tense with passion, his eyes filled with the same desire she felt deep in her soul.
He leaned forward a little and gently rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Jaina." his voice was a whisper against her skin.
She closed her eyes, tears stung her cheeks. Not from pain. Tears of joy. "I love you, too."
*Once, when our hearts were singing, I was with you.*
Jaina fastened the utility belt around her waist; noticed the torn fabric of her flight suit. She sighed heavily, looking around the room to make sure she hadn't missed anything. For the last hour she had been trying to think of a way to stay longer on Drognan. She thought about telling Jag that her ribs still bothered her and she wasn't flight-ready yet. She considered suggesting that he leave her here while he summoned a transport to come and pick her up. She contemplated feigning illness, she imagined she could fool him into thinking she had fainted while staying in a Jedi trance for a few hours.
No matter what excuse she tried to come up with, they all led back to the fact that sooner or later they would have to return to Borleias.
She stood in front of the table, her fingers resting on the back of a chair. The dress she had worn the night before was laid flat on the surface of the table, still damp from the washing she had given it. Her fingers traced over the soft material, the memory of last night so very fresh in her mind.
If someone had asked her months ago if she thought that she and Jag would become more than friends she would have laughed in their face. After last night, she couldn't imagine being just a friend to him. In the last several days they had confided in each other and shared stories and thoughts and feelings and Jaina wanted to forever stay in this little paradise with Jag; to spend the rest of her life discovering all his secrets, talking of his hopes and dreams, learning not only his mind but his body. She wanted to share her life with him and the uncertainty of what may yet happen in this war threatened to rob her of that future.
She wished she could take the dress with her. It was a reminder of the most wonderfully sweet night of her life. Her mind constantly replayed the waltz Jag had led her through and the way their bodies had moved as one. Her lips yearned to feel the gentle press of his again. Her heart pounded in her chest at the very thought of him. She felt fluttery and light all over and wanted to spend every waking moment with him.
Once they returned to Borleias things would be different. They would revert back to their professional relationship and continue about as if nothing had happened. Jaina didn't want that to happen yet it was the most logical thing for them to do. They needed to remain focused on the task at hand and she had already learned that when she was around Jag it was very easy to become distracted. It would be good for them to be back in action again. She would resume command of Twin Suns. Jag would willingly fly with her and follow her orders. She would be around her family again and they would be able to begin healing together.
Yet she would trade it all for one more day with Jag.
Jaina walked to the other end of the table where the music player still sat. She turned it on and the voice of Isadora Falansi began to play. She had already listened to it once while Jag was out checking the Clawcraft. The soft, poignant voice of the Taanab native gently carried throughout the dining hall, slicing through the silence.
She turned half-way to face toward the windows. Outside it was still gray but the snow no longer hindered her vision and Jaina could see some of the trees that surrounded the fortified house. As much as she tried to squelch them before they started, tears began to stream her cheeks and she felt an unbearable ache grip her heart.
She did not want to go.
"All systems are back online and operational." Jag was staying as he entered the room. "I'll have to have someone take a look at the engine when we get back."
Jaina swiped at her cheeks before she turned to face him. She didn't want him to see her tears. She needed to be strong now. "You mean you're actually going to let someone else touch your ship?"
"No. I said I'll have someone take a look at it."
Turning to face him, she put on her best brave face. "If you think that it's unsafe, I could wait here and you go and get help. I don't mind waiting for a transport."
He stripped off his flight gloves and set them down on the table next to the dress. He was dressed in his flight suit as well and Jaina wondered briefly if there was ever a time where Jag didn't look handsome. She had yet to see that moment.
"I'm not leaving you here alone and I wouldn't consider flying if I didn't think it wasn't safe." He walked over to the fireplace, checking to make sure there were no lingering flickers of flame. "It may be a tight fit but the journey back is only four, maybe five hours."
"I'm not sure I'm flight ready." she said, placing her hand on her left side.
Jag turned to face her. "Did you put your binding back on?"
"Well, no. I didn't think I needed it."
"As soon as we get to Borleias, we'll get you to the med-ward. You'll be feeling like yourself in no time."
*Looks like the Jedi trance trick is my last resort.*
Even as she thought about faking a fainting spell, Jaina knew it wouldn't work. Jag was being reasonable. Their families were worried about them. They couldn't delay it any longer.
She walked slowly back over to where the dress lay and stood next to Jag. "I tried to put the drapes back up but the brackets are broken."
Jag nodded. "I accidently broke them while taking them down. I hope the owners don't get too upset when they see it."
"Do you think they'll ever come back? The owners?"
"I don't know. I'd have to say no, considering the shape this place was in when we got here."
Her fingers ran over the shimmersilk once more. "I wish I could take this with me. If the owners come back, they might be upset to find it gone."
"We can have a dress designed just like it when the war is over."
Jaina looked up at him and saw the faint sparkle in his eyes. His arms were folded across his chest and he was watching her pensively. She touched on his feelings and was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who regretting leaving Drognan. She turned to face him, placed a hand on his arm.
"Can't we stay just a little longer? A few hours won't make a difference."
Jag sighed, taking both of her hands in his. He held them gingerly, his thumbs slowly stroking her skin. "We have to get back, Jaina. You know that."
"I know." She lowered her head, staring at their feet. "What's going to happen to us?"
He tensed a little and Jaina sensed the uncertainty course through him as he considered that question. After a moment of silence, he answered simply, "I don't know."
"I'm afraid, Jag." Jaina felt the tears start again and struggled to force them down. "I'm afraid that when we get back we're going to get lost in this war and we're not going to find our way back to each other. That we're not going to find our way back to this moment."
A finger caught under her chin and Jag brought her stare back up to meet his. He gently wiped away a tear. "I'm not going to let that happen. We will always have this moment. I'm not gong to forget, Jaina. Not Drognan. Not you."
"I don't want to go back to the killing and the destruction. I want to stay here, where there is nothing but peace and happiness and love." Her bottom lip started to quiver and Jaina thought she was going to lose all her composure and break down in Jag's arms.
"Nor do I." He brushed her hair away from her eyes then took her hands in his again. "I'm afraid that when we get back to Borleias I'm going to revert back to the person I was before we came here. I don't want that to happen. I'm just beginning to discover things about myself that I never knew existed. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I like who I am becoming."
"So do I." She managed a smile and when Jag returned the gesture, Jaina's heart skipped a beat. *If this is what falling in love feels like, I don't ever want to feel anything else again.* Taking his hands, she led him over to the spot they had designated the dance floor the night before.
"One more dance? Before we leave?"
Jag's smile grew. "Are you going to treat me to that rather evocative dance you did last night?"
Jaina felt her cheeks flush. "No. I was half-drunk when I did that. I'm rather embarrassed by that."
"Don't be. I rather enjoyed it." He glanced around the room. "I think there is still some wine left..."
"Jag!" She punched him in the shoulder and smirked when he grunted.
"You enjoy inflicting pain on me don't you?"
She laughed and happily went into his embrace. "It's not my fault you're an easy target."
"Ah. A flaw in my upbringing then."
The song that started to play was an enchanting melody, the singer's voice graceful and lovely. Jaina expected Jag to start leading her through the waltz but he did not move. They stood between windows and table, hands laced as if to fuse them as one. She pulled back a little to glance up at him.
*Once, as my heart remembers, all the stars were fallen embers. Once, when night seemed forever. I was with you.*
He was looking down at her.
Jaina reached out her hand and brushed her fingers over his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin and the slight prickle of stubble. He was studying her, unsmiling. His lips were hot and full beneath her fingers. Just beneath the sombreness of his look was another man, one who looked down on her with sparking pale green eyes.
She wondered briefly if there had been a time she had feared Jag. Not because of his ability as a pilot but because of the man she had been introduced to. She couldn't feel fear in his presence ever, she realized. Not now, not after spending the last several days on Drognan with him. He fascinated her. There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. It was as if he saw her as a woman and had his own thoughts about what he'd like to do with her.
He could silence her with a look and make her cheeks blush. Not from embarrassment but instead anticipation. Her blood rushed, hot, through her body. Her breath grew tight.
*Once, in the care of morning, in the air was all belonging. Once, when that day was dawning, I was with you.*
Jag lowered his head slowly. Jaina simply waited and sighed when she felt the texture of his lips, the heat of his mouth. She arched closer to him, her lips falling open beneath his. He coaxed her to him, the emotion hinted at in his gaze there fully in his kiss. He murmured something, a word, an endearment or a command, she wasn't sure. His hand came up and gently flattened against her cheek, tilted her head. She moaned, a simple sound that echoed her body's enchantment with such a thing. Her helpless murmur connected them, a breath passed from one to the other. The kiss grew deeper until there was only shadows in her mind.
She wanted to be inhaled by him.
*How far we are from morning, how far we are? And the stars shining through the darkness, falling in the air.*
A breath escaped her, one and then another. There were no thoughts in her mind, only an ache that brought no pain. It spread throughout her body, heated her chest, raced to her toes. His lips were soft and warm, the touch of his tongue both shocking and welcomed. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his flight suit, pressing against the texture in frustration. His skin was shielded and covered from her, and she could not touch him, could not feel the heat of him.
Was life given in the power of a kiss? She felt her body change, her breath grow tight. A sensation like fire raged through her. One hand wound around his neck, the other strayed to his cheek, thumb pressed against his jaw as if to hold him closer. His skin was almost hot beneath her palm.
*Once, as the night was leaving, into us our dreams were weaving. Once, all dreams were worth keeping. I was with you.*
He pulled her toward him, the tightness of their embrace accentuating all their differences. Curves against solid muscle. Hollows pressed into hard flesh. His height and strength. Her softness.
Something within her whimpered, craved him. Demanded him. Something wild and yearning.
Long moments later, he lifted his head, ending the kiss. Jaina blinked and opened her eyes, a sound of protest on her lips. Jag's expression was tense with passion, his eyes filled with the same desire she felt deep in her soul.
He leaned forward a little and gently rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Jaina." his voice was a whisper against her skin.
She closed her eyes, tears stung her cheeks. Not from pain. Tears of joy. "I love you, too."
*Once, when our hearts were singing, I was with you.*
