A/N: Ah, I could not resist! Couldn't you picture it? Two chubby little German (or are they Sweedish? Can't remember...) children.... well, just read and see what happens. =o)
Fairytale Invasions!
Chapter Two: Hansel and Gretel
Saruman sat in his tower perfecting his plans for capturing the Ring and taking over Middle-Earth. For the thousandth time he ran through his list.
"Create perfect army: check. Send perfect army to capture Ring: check. Take over Middle-Earth..." Saruman sighed. Even the most perfect plans needed time.
Saruman glanced down at his hands. His beautiful hands with the perfect nails... suddenly Saruman screeched. A hangnail! Quickly he grabbed his nail file and fixed his beautiful nail. Saruman put down his nail file with a sigh. Someday he would have to come up with a spell that kept nails from breaking...
"My lord..."
Saruman looked up at the Uruk-Hai shifting his feet nervously. "What is it?" Saruman growled.
"Um, perhaps you should come and see..."
Saruman frowned. He hated leaving his pretty black chair, but he saw that he would get nothing further from the stupid Orc. Muttering under his breath he stood up and, taking his staff with him, began to walk to the big front door. When he walked outside, he was met with a strange sight:
Two rather plump children were sitting in his front yard gnawing on his beautiful tower. The wizard stared at them in shock. "What are you doing?" he screeched.
One of them, a boy, looked up. "It tastes like licorice, yah."
The other one, a girl, nodded. "Yah, licorice, ish good."
With that they continued to gnaw on the tower's black stones. Saruman quickly descended the steps and pulled the children away from his precious tower.
"Who are you and how did you get here?" Saruman demanded.
"I'm Hansel," the boy said.
"Und I'm Gretel," the girl piped.
Saruman frowned. "What are you doing gnawing at my tower?"
"We ate dah vitch out of her 'ouse," Hansel grinned.
"Und so we find new house!" Gretel said cheerfully.
"Will you'll have to find another one again!" Saruman snapped. "Now get away from my tower!"
"No, we like licorice!" Hansel said, frowning.
"We stay with you!" Gretel quipped, clinging to Saruman's robe.
"No, no, get off!" Saruman cried, trying in vain to disentangle the little girl from his white robe. "Your soiling my robe!" he squeaked frantically.
"Are you our father?" Gretel asked, looking up at him with big blue eyes.
"Valar, no!" Saruman screamed. "Go away!"
"We stay with you," Gretel squealed.
"Und we eat your tower!" Hansel added.
"Noo!!" Saruman ran into his tower screaming, the children right behind him.
**puts out cookie plate** **laughs evilly** Ah, Saruman sooo deserved that!! Heeheee!!! Next chapter: Sleeping Beauty's Prince Charming. Yea, no Sleeping Beauty, just Prince Charming. Also, thank you to Aurelia Lothlorien for the suggestions. I don't think I can do Beauty and the Beast, but Little Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks definitely. =o) Thank you for reading!
Chapter Two: Hansel and Gretel
Saruman sat in his tower perfecting his plans for capturing the Ring and taking over Middle-Earth. For the thousandth time he ran through his list.
"Create perfect army: check. Send perfect army to capture Ring: check. Take over Middle-Earth..." Saruman sighed. Even the most perfect plans needed time.
Saruman glanced down at his hands. His beautiful hands with the perfect nails... suddenly Saruman screeched. A hangnail! Quickly he grabbed his nail file and fixed his beautiful nail. Saruman put down his nail file with a sigh. Someday he would have to come up with a spell that kept nails from breaking...
"My lord..."
Saruman looked up at the Uruk-Hai shifting his feet nervously. "What is it?" Saruman growled.
"Um, perhaps you should come and see..."
Saruman frowned. He hated leaving his pretty black chair, but he saw that he would get nothing further from the stupid Orc. Muttering under his breath he stood up and, taking his staff with him, began to walk to the big front door. When he walked outside, he was met with a strange sight:
Two rather plump children were sitting in his front yard gnawing on his beautiful tower. The wizard stared at them in shock. "What are you doing?" he screeched.
One of them, a boy, looked up. "It tastes like licorice, yah."
The other one, a girl, nodded. "Yah, licorice, ish good."
With that they continued to gnaw on the tower's black stones. Saruman quickly descended the steps and pulled the children away from his precious tower.
"Who are you and how did you get here?" Saruman demanded.
"I'm Hansel," the boy said.
"Und I'm Gretel," the girl piped.
Saruman frowned. "What are you doing gnawing at my tower?"
"We ate dah vitch out of her 'ouse," Hansel grinned.
"Und so we find new house!" Gretel said cheerfully.
"Will you'll have to find another one again!" Saruman snapped. "Now get away from my tower!"
"No, we like licorice!" Hansel said, frowning.
"We stay with you!" Gretel quipped, clinging to Saruman's robe.
"No, no, get off!" Saruman cried, trying in vain to disentangle the little girl from his white robe. "Your soiling my robe!" he squeaked frantically.
"Are you our father?" Gretel asked, looking up at him with big blue eyes.
"Valar, no!" Saruman screamed. "Go away!"
"We stay with you," Gretel squealed.
"Und we eat your tower!" Hansel added.
"Noo!!" Saruman ran into his tower screaming, the children right behind him.
**puts out cookie plate** **laughs evilly** Ah, Saruman sooo deserved that!! Heeheee!!! Next chapter: Sleeping Beauty's Prince Charming. Yea, no Sleeping Beauty, just Prince Charming. Also, thank you to Aurelia Lothlorien for the suggestions. I don't think I can do Beauty and the Beast, but Little Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks definitely. =o) Thank you for reading!
