"Just one call!"
"No."
"Please, master!"
"Well..."
"I'll make it quick. I promise."
Sigh.
"OK. But it had better be quick or else..."
"THANKS MASTER!"
Obi-Wan dashed over to the Holonet terminal to place his call before Qui-Gon could change his mind.
Which he was seriously considering.
Somehow the Jedi master doubted his padawan knew the meaning of the word quick when it came to the small matter of contacting his girlfriend. However, the young man had moped almost from the moment they had left the temple until they had reached their suite in the hotel they were staying at. He'd barely spoken to him once, and all because he'd refused point blank to let Obi-Wan put in a 'frivolous' call from the ship they were travelling on.
Who'd be young again, Jinn thought bleakly?
He settled down in the chair and watched with idle amusement as his apprentice tried to contact his ladylove. Evidently, absence was not getting the chance to make the heart grow forgetful. But whose heart? His or hers?
It took a further five minutes of frustrated teeth grinding and hair pulling before Obi-Wan finally got through to the object of his desire...
"Hello? Jemmy?" Kenobi said anxiously.
"Ben?" Came back a surprised voice.
"Where were you?" Obi-Wan asked. "I was starting to worry."
"I was in the bath, if you must know." Jemmiah 's voice replied.
"Yeah?" Obi-Wan's smile became a leer.
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on the report for tomorrow's talks he had on his lap.
"I'm sorry the picture's bust." Jemmy sighed. "Letina said she'd help me fix it tomorrow. You'll just have to close your eyes and remember how beautiful I am."
"I don't have to close my eyes," grinned Kenobi, "If I reach out with the force I think I can just about see you...standing there, covered in that damp pink bath towel..."
"Oh, PLEASE!" Jinn shook his head. "I'm going to order some of that funny tea they give to over sexed prisoners."
"I hope you enjoy it, master!" Kenobi laughed, before receiving a force swat to his rear.
"Rela, Spider and me are going to the S-W-O-O-P track." She spelled it out quietly so that Qui-Gon wouldn't hear.
"Why are you whispering?" Qui-Gon raised his voice suspiciously. "And you said a quick call. We have this report to go over."
"Yes, master. I know." Obi-Wan frowned. "I'll be only a few more minutes."
Qui-Gon sat back against the chair and settled in for a long wait.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER:
"Time's up, padawan." Jinn folded his arms.
Kenobi did his best to ignore him.
"Are you eating something?" Obi-Wan frowned as he heard the faint yet distinctly familiar crunch of toast against teeth.
"Yes 'Termite', I am!"
"That's not fair." His stomach began to growl at the thought.
"You were the one who called me." Jemmy pointed out as she bit down on the golden slice of Alderaani dough bread. "Mmmm! It's a pity you're not here. I could have shared it with you. One bite at a time! And I know how you like to nibble things." She laughed musically. "Do you know what I've got on?"
"What?"
"Corellian treacle."
"Is this you or the toast?" Obi-Wan smirked.
"That would be telling."
"PADAWAN!" Qui-Gon chastized.
"Anyway, it's not what you've got. It's how you use it." Jemmy said coughing on some inhaled crumbs.
"Are you OK?" The padawan asked, concerned.
"Yeah," she spluttered. "Next time I'll try not to inhale..."
Qui-Gon cleared his throat pointedly.
"Sounds like a nasty cough your master's got there, too." Jemmiah smiled. "What's his story?"
"He's got 'getofftheholoterminalitis', by the sound of it." Obi-Wan tittered.
"Sounds bad. Maybe he should see someone about it."
"And what would you recommend?"
"Ooooh, let me see." Jemmiah paused in thought. "Complete bed rest. I find that's a pretty good cure for most ailments. There's nothing like just lying there, holding on to your..."
"Err, Jemmy. He's listening." Obi-Wan blushed.
"I was going to say pillow." Jemmy grumbled.
"Oh. Yes." Kenobi blushed; glad she couldn't see him. "Of course."
"Or maybe he just doesn't get enough exercise." Jemmiah giggled before lowering her voice. "Still. I'm sure Leona will be at hand. Should anything go wrong."
"I get very worried when she starts talking so that I can't hear her." Jinn gritted.
"So what else has my little Corellian Sand Tiger been up to?" Obi-Wan breathed. "Come on, Tigger. Tell all!"
"TIGGER?" Qui-Gon's jaw nearly hit the floor.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "It's a term of endearment."
"It's to do with those scratches on your back!" Jinn challenged. "Isn't it?"
Kenobi shifted round again so as to avoid Qui-Gon's glare.
"I don't know how long I'll be stuck here." The padawan sighed. "But when I come back you can give your poor Obi-Wan a good mauling!"
"Padawan?" Qui-Gon hissed. "The report? Remember?"
"Master, this is a private conversation. Do you mind?" Obi-Wan turned back to the terminal. "You're right, it's a pity I wasn't there with you. I could have scrubbed your back."
"What with?" Jemmy laughed.
"That's it. Enough!" Qui-Gon glared it the young man. "Say your farewells now and get your mind back where it should be."
"It is where it should be." Obi-Wan said wistfully.
"I'm not telling you again." Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow.
Obi-Wan spared his master a brief look. "Just five more minutes."
He tapped the privacy field so that only he would be able to hear Jemmiah's voice.
"So what are you doing now? Tell me everything."
Qui-Gon tried to calm himself with the force. There were times, he was almost sure, that he would get special dispensation for murdering a love struck padawan.
"That's disgusting!" Kenobi laughed.
Jinn's frown grew.
"That's is sooooooo disgusting!"
What was going on here?
"Infact, it's down right filthy!" Obi-Wan chuckled. " Oh, that is SO bad!"
Qui-Gon bit his lip. There was a seven-second pause.
"I know I can't see what you're doing. It's terrible waste!"
Another five second pause.
"FILTH!" Obi-Wan tipped his head back and laughed uncontrollably. "How dirty can you get?"
This needed to be nipped in the bud right now, Jinn thought as he narrowed his eyes.
"You like talking muck, don't you?"
The Jedi master's patience had all but evaporated. He HAD to know what was being said.
"I'd almost go as far as saying that I've never heard anyone talk so much dirt in my life..."
"End of conversation." Qui-Gon was out of the chair and by Obi-Wan's side before his padawan could blink.
"Ermm, I'll call you later Jemmy. Bye!" Kenobi ended the call abruptly and swung round to meet his irate master.
"Muck?" Qui-Gon queried in annoyance.
The padawan turned hurt eyes to his master.
"She's just putting the garbage out." He pouted.
