Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Card Captor Sakura, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Trigun, and any other anime mentioned in here. I don't own any awards shows, either. In fact, I'm glad I don't own awards shows. They're pathetic. Thus the basis for parodying them.
This is what happens when Sunny and her friend Teddy are left behind because their friends are on a band field trip and feel compelled to drive their one friend who stayed behind as well absolutely insane.
I'd like to thank the Academy...not really. Just my friend for giving me the name inspiration for the show. She swears she's gonna name her daughter (if she has one) Annie May. Hehe, Annie May, anime? Oh, I kill myself.
Vash: I don't approve of suicide.
Sunny: I didn't mean literally. I was being sarcastic.
The Annie-May Awards
Disembodied voice: (aka Sunny on sound system) Welcome to the first annual Annie-May awards. And, now, your host, Legato Bluesummers!
Legato: ::walks out on stage, wearing tux:: Uh, ::speaks into microphone, which is off, by the way:: Sunshine, don't you think that "first annual" sounds a bit optimistic. ::notices that mike isn't on:: How the--
Sunny: ::turns mike on::
Legato: ::shouting:: FUCK DOES THIS THING WORK? ::realizes it was on and blushes::
::the audience, filled with characters from every anime imaginable dressed up all nice in gowns and tuxes, starts laughing uncontrollably::
Legato: .\\ Thank you, Sunny. As I was saying, ladies, gentlemen, children, pirates, plants, et cetera, thank you for wasting your precious time tonight to come and get an award that will mean nothing in your futures. ::stares at cue card, puzzled:: Uh, okay. First category is best weapon. I guess that the owner of the weapon is going to have to come up and accept it themselves. ::glances nervously at door which guest hosts are supposed to come from:: And, er, if they haven't killed each other yet, which I wouldn't put past them, Meryl Stryfe and Knives Millions are going to announce the nominees and the winners.
Vash: ::in audience, biting his nails:: Oh no...
::Meryl and Knives walk out on stage::
Meryl: Best Weapon. And the nominees are...
::giant screens to show shots of the weapons being used lower to the stage behind them::
Knives: The Cross Punisher from Trigun...
Meryl: The Sword Card from Card Captor Sakura...
Knives: ::laughing:: Charizard from Pokémon...
::everyone in audience, except Ash, laughs at shots of Charizard frying his imbecilic trainer::
Meryl: ::composing herself:: The EVAs from Neon Genesis Evangelion...
::Auska immediately blushes because one of the shots they show is the one of her sitting in it nude::
Knives: The Light Hawk Sword from Tenchi Muyo...
Meryl: And O.Ô Tuxedo Mask's rose from Sailor Moon? Where'd that come from?
Knives: Is that even a weapon?
Voice from audience, which sounds vaguely like Prince Diamond: TRY GETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH ONE!
Meryl: -_-; Right.
Knives: These are all crappy weapons. No Angel Arms.
Meryl: ::holding Derringer to his temple:: Shut up, baka.
Vash: MERYL! T_T LOVE AND PEACE, REMEMBER?
Meryl: -_-; ::lowers Derringer:: And the winner is...
Knives: ::opens envelope:: A tie between the EVAs and the Cross Punisher. At least it's something lethal.
Milly: ::squeals and hugs Wolfwood::
Wolfwood: ::shakes free from Milly and Kuroneko and walks on stage::
Shinji/Auska: ^_^
Rei: -_-
Meryl: ::hands Wolfwood dorky-looking statuette::
Knives: ::hands statuette to each of the EVA pilots::
Wolfwood: I'm not good speeches. I just thank the Academy of Anime Reveiwers for picking me over some flower.
::audience cracks up::
Wolfwood: Did I say something funny? ::walks back to his chair, completely out of it::
Shinji: Uh, do we really have to make speeches?
Rei: No.
Auska: BUT I WANT TO!
Shinji: Let's not.
Auska: Sure. Listen to Wonder girl.
::Meryl and Knives wave and walk back off stage, to seat themselves on opposite sides of Vash, who has calmed down slightly and is now munching on a donut::
Legato: ::sighs:: This is going to be a long night.
Sunny: ::mutters to friends in sound booth:: You're telling me.
Legato: Er, Amy Mizuno is going to introduce the next award. Amy?
Amy: ::runs out on stage, her hair all messed up:: Sorry. I was a bit, er, busy backstage. I lost the envelope.
Legato: ::holds envelope:: I've had it in my hands the whole time.
Amy: ::blushes furiously:: Oh, uh, well.
Legato: .\\ Introduce the damn award. I have a meeting with a hot dog that I really don't want to be late for.
Amy: Okay, the nominees for Best Prop are...::suddenly freaked out by the hundreds of eyes on her:: TheAngelArmsfromTrigunShinji'sWalkmanfromNeonGenesisEvangelionAzakaandKamadakefromTenchiMuyotheLazenBoardfromCardCaptorSakuratheTiarafromSailorMoonandtheHoleDiggerfromPokémon. ::squeaks and opens envelope:: Andthewinneris.
Legato: ::takes card from Amy:: You aren't making a word of sense. Visual nearly had a breakdown thanks to your nerves. ::reads card:: The winner Shinji's Walkman from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
::Shinji blushes and tries to shake Auska off his arm, fails, and drags her on stage with him::
Shinji: ::after Amy chucks statuette at him and runs away:: Well--
Auska: I want to say that that damn thing is damn lucky because it interferes way too much and I was just about ready to break it but since it won an award it gets to live a little longer. ::grabs Shinji's arm and drags him off stage::
Legato: That was enlightening. ::looks at cue card and mutters:: Aren't there any commercial breaks in this thing?
::audience too shocked to react::
Sunny: ::into overhead mike:: Uh, Legato, did you forget your microphone was still on?
Legato: ::blushes furiously::
Sunny: ::to her friends:: I'll take that as a yes. ::into mike:: Legato, there are no commercials. This is commercial free because they only have two hours to spare. You're gonna have to stand there and be funny until then, I'm afraid.
Legato: Oh shit.
Wolfwood: . THAT'S MY LINE!!
Serena: ::covers Rini's ears::
Jesse/James: ::clap their hands over Ash and Misty's ears::
::all children in the room (including the two little Wolfwoods, Nicky and Michelle, which are being held still by their mother and their "aunt") now have their ears covered::
Legato: Cripes, I'm sorry. Either you grown ups are gonna have to chill out, this is show biz, remember, or keep their ears covered for the whole show.
Sunny: Yeah. The censoring button is broken.
Legato: Anyway, Vash the Stampede--Hey, Meryl, is there a reason he's called that? ^.\\
::Meryl blushes furiously::
Legato: Yes, Vash the Stampede will be announcing the best battle scene.
Vash: ::walks slowly onto stage, looking upset:: First, I'd like to say that I do not condone killing. Love and peace everyone, love and peace. -_-. Anyway, the Nominees for best battle are ::waits for first scene to play on screens:: The Shadow Ball Angel from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ryoko, Ayeka, and Tenchi versus KAIN in Tenchi Muyo, the Shot Card from Card Captor Sakura, Ash versus Sabrina from Pokémon, Sailor Moon versus Pharaoh Ninety in Sailor Moon--
Serena: . But nothing happened that you saw! You couldn't see me at all!
Vash: That's why it's on the list of best battle scenes. Oh, and Knives with the two Angel Arms from Trigun. Hey...that wasn't fun.
Knives: ::chuckles:: I had fun.
Vash: ::delicately tears open envelope:: Oh, the winner is...O.O. Knives with the two Angel Arms.
Knives: ::swaggers up to stage and takes statuette from his twin:: Be glad the production company took away the guns, because I would have blown this place INTO ITSY BITSY PIECES by now. ::walks off stage, Vash following him, looking scared out of his mind::
Legato: That's my master...
::something flies at him from sound booth::
Legato: Sunny, I was joking...-.\\ Anyhoo, Kensuke Aida is going to introduce the Best Supporting Character award. A little FYI for you, this means they were either in less than three episodes or they aren't very important except as comic relief.
Kensuke: ::literally struts on to stage, waving envelope:: Best Supporting Character nominees are... ::peers at card:: Molly from Sailor Moon, Zazie from Trigun, Todd from Pokémon, Ryo-Ohki from Tenchi Muyo, ::blinks:: ^_^ and me! From Neon Genesis Evangelion, of course. See Misato? They like me!
Misato: ::sighs and rolls her eyes::
Kensuke: So... ::rips open envelope:: Wow! I win! Cool! Bye! ::runs away::
Legato: -.\\; This is getting to be strange. Next is ::squints, trying to read cue card which keeps being pulled further and further away from him:: James something-or-other and Jesse unintelligible-last-name with the Best Villain Award.
Jesse: ::drags James on stage, stops to remove Meowth from him, chucks the cat into the audience, which lands on Wolfwood::
Wolfwood: . First Kuroneko and now this furball? ::starts using his favorite word::
Milly: Nicholas, please, control your temper in front of the children.
Nicky/Michelle: O.O
Everyone else in audience: Ø .Ø ; ::at the happy little Wolfwood family::
Jesse: ::achem:: HELLO!
Audience: ::heads all snap back towards the stage::
Jesse: Best Villain Nominees are...
James: ::so quietly no one can hear him even with the microphone::
Legato: That's my little brother for you....-.\\;
Jesse: You're his brother?
Sunny: O.O
Legato: Unfortunately...I ran away as soon as I was old enough to walk. They wanted me to marry this Jessebell chick.
James: So I had to marry her, instead.
Legato: ::chuckles::
Jesse: Well, since the bakas over here are busy reminescing about some wimpy, whiny little girl, I'll introduce the Best Villains. Knives Millions from Trigun.
Knives: ::shoots menacing glare at Wolfwood and Vash::
Jesse: My boss, Giovanni, from Pokémon...
James: Pharaoh Ninety from Sailor Moon...
Sailor Moon Cast: WHAT? You never saw him!
Legato: There's something to be said about those who can destroy planets.
Knives: ::smirks:: I told you Vash, it's our gift.
Vash: ::slumps down in his seat:: It's not good.
Jesse: The Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion...
James: And Nagi, from Tenchi Muyo, even though I don't really think she was a villain.
Ryoko: ::to Tenchi:: She tried to kill me!
Tenchi: ::mutters to himself:: Sometimes I wish she had.
James: And the winner is...
Jesse: Pharaoh Ninety...wait...how's he supposed to accept it?
::Hotaru walks silently up, snatches award away and walks back to her seat::
Legato: That answers that question...Next is Li Syaoran with the Best Animal award. Best Animal? What the?
Li: ::with Mei-lin hanging off his arm:: I can't believe I'm doing such a sissy category.
Mei-Lin: At least you're doing one, unlike that other girl...
Li: The nominees are Ryo-Ohki from Tenchi Muyo, that stuffed animal from Card Captor Sakura--
Kero: I AM NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL!
Li: Luna from Sailor Moon, Pen Pen from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Kuroneko from Trigun.
Wolfwood: ::to Vash:: How the hell did that thing get nominated? o.o_?
Milly: ::snatches cigarette out of Wolfwood's mouth:: You quit, remember?
Wolfwood: That tasted good...
Mei-Lin: ::excitedly:: AND THE WINNER IS--
Li: ::slaps her:: Shut up. I'm supposed to be doing this alone.
Mei-Lin: ::runs off stage crying::
Li: Anyway, that thing, Ryo-Ohki, she wins. OK. Whatever. Get your damn thing before I have to use my magic.
Sasami: ::walks up with Ryo-Ohki on her head:: I don't like to make speeches.
Ryoko: SO DON'T!
Sasami: ::shrugs and walks off stage::
Legato: I need a new job...
Meryl: Wanna work for the Bernadelli Insurance Society? You could follow Vash around twenty-four hours a day and cause eternal pain and suffering!
Legato: No. I like my other job fine. ::glances nervously at Knives:: Yeah...just fine...Er, so, Ryoko Misaki is going to tell us what show the best theme song belongs too.
Ryoko: ::flies onto stage:: You know, this has got to be the stupidest award. Every anime show here is nominated and I might as well just tell you who won.
Legato: ::sarcastically:: Then do that.
Ryoko: Card Captor Sakura wins it, but only for the Japanese song.
Kero: ::yells:: Can I help it if the American theme song sucks?
Sakura: ::takes award, too embarrassed about even having to be there to give a speech::
Legato: You know, we've been very, very lucky to have short or no speeches whatsoever. Er, uh, who's supposed to give the next award? I can't read the card.
Rini: ::walks on stage:: I am. The best on-screen kiss award.
Legato: Uh, okay....::stares at little girl:: Are you sure?
Rini: Well, there aren't many nominees for this, but there are a few...very few...Tenchi and Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo, Serena and Darien from Sailor Moon, and Auska and Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Legato: Humor me. Who won? ::mutters, this time away from the mike:: Not like we all know anyway.
Rini: Uh, well, it says here that Milly and Wolfwood from Trigun won, but they weren't nominated...
Legato: Nani? ::takes card away:: Wow, it does.
::screen shows card, which typed winner reads Auska and Shinji, but someone scribbled it out and wrote Milly and Wolfwood::
Wolfwood: O.O
Milly: ::squeals and drags Wolfwood on stage::
Meryl: Vash...did you have something to do with that? It looks an awful lot like your handwriting...
Vash: I had nothing to do with it at all ^_^.
Meryl: Ø .Ø ; Yeah. Right.
Legato: -.\\; ::hands statuette to Wolfwood, who looks very confused::
Wolfwood: But I never kissed her on screen. It was merely implied.
Vash: There's one now!
Milly: ::dips and kisses Wolfwood::
Wolfwood: O.O
Milly: ::after kiss:: Okay, I would like to thank....
::an hour later::
Milly: And my mother and my father and my big big sister who told me everything about life...
::another hour later::
Milly: ::waves and takes Wolfwood off stage::
Legato: ZzZzZz
Sunny: WAKE UP!
Legato: Uh, well, I guess I jinxed us with that comment about long speeches, huh?
Audience: ::glares::
Legato: Well, since that took so long and we're running out of time, we'll cut to the four major, major awards. Starting with Son Goku from Dragonball Z with the Worst Anime Award.
Goku: HI!
Audience: -_-;
Goku: Er, well, the nominees are Pokémon, Thunder Cats, Dragonball Z, Gundam Wing, and Sailor Moon. ::opens envelope:: And they all win.
Legato: ::not surprised:: Which explains why there's no physical award for this...
::Disclaimer flashes on screens:: This is merely the academy's opinion. Do not flame.
Audience: ::calms down slightly::
Legato: Well, well, well, Shinji Ikari is going to present the best female lead award.
Shinji: ::walking on stage:: Oh, yeah, Auska wants it made known that she finds it severely unfair that we got cheated out of the best on-screen kiss like that. I agree, oddly. You know how many times I had to hold my breath until I turned blue filming that scene?
Legato: Do we care? Read the damn nominees.
Shinji: Okay. Best female lead nominees are Misty from Pokémon, Meryl from Trigun, Auska from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Sakura from Card Captor Sakura, and Ayeka from Tenchi Muyo.
Legato: Are you sure you aren't reading the card from the Biggest Bitch award?
::Derringer shoots off, Psyduck squawks, shouting in German can be heard, Azaka and Kamadake rise out of nowhere, and Sakura breaks down and cries::
Legato: I WAS JOKING! Sheesh.
Shinji: And Auska wins.
Auska: YAY! ::runs up, gives short speech in German, realizes no one there even speaks German, shrugs, kisses Shinji, and runs back to her seat::
Legato: ::as Shinji leaves the stage, in shock:: Well, we really do have a special guest for our Best Male Lead award. Please, join me in welcoming Spike from Cowboy Be-Bop, who took great liberty in coming all the way out here to read this.
Spike: HI EVERYONE!
Legato: Read it, quickly, please. I'm bored, and ::looks at Vash:: my left arm is starting to hurt.
Vash: ::gulps::
Spike: Okay, nominees for Best Male Lead are as follows. Vash from Trigun, Shinji from Evangelion, Ash from Pokémon, Tenchi from Tenchi Muyo, Li from Card Captor Sakura, and Gene from Outlaw Star.
Legato: I won't ask what the Academy was thinking when they compiled that list.
Sunny: Believe me, you don't want to know.
Spike: ::peeks in envelope:: And the winner is...::stares at card:: ME?
Legato: Let me see that!
::screen shows card, which has Spike, Cowboy Be-Bop clearly typed on it::
Legato: Okay. I guess you get your award. Bye!
Spike: See ya!
Legato: Oh, look, we're out of time. I'll make sure the academy mails out the categories not reached because of MILLY ::gets knocked flat by stunner from stun gun::
Sunny: ::walks on stage:: Well, I'll make sure that all categories, winners, and unawarded statuettes are mailed out. We only had three hours to work with, since they didn't have commercials, and the other winners will be posted.
::Sunny helps Legato up, and he limps off stage leaning on her shoulder::
::Everyone leaves::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, it sux, but that's OK! We were bored! We wrote it in Science and at lunch (well, in truth, we only wrote the categories and the nominees...I supplied the story after school). LALALA. Here's the missed categories (the good ones anyway--some of them were pretty awful). Winners are in bold face.
Saddest Scene/Episode:
Wolfwood's Death, Trigun
Pikachu's Good-bye, Pokémon
Ryoko's Death, Tenchi Muyo
The Third Impact, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Whatever it is that happens to Pegasis (I missed that episode), Sailor Moon
Best Dance:
Vash's little dance in Episode 4, Trigun
Shinji & Auska's dance, Neon Genesis Evangelion (is that just in the manga? I don't think I've seen that episode...)
The Pikachu's Jukebox dance, Pokémon
Anything Serena does with her weapons, Sailor Moon
Funniest Scene/Episode:
When Vash and Wolfwood fall into the quicksand, Trigun
The first episode of Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon
Ryoko's booths and Washu's Haunted House at the Carnival, Tenchi Muyo
When Sakura meets Kero, Card Captor Sakura
Shinji and Auska's kiss, Neon Genesis Evangelion
R&R!
