Hmm. I don't own Trigun, or any songs that slip in here. Oh, yeah, Milly's just using the Japanese names because they sound SO much better than Mr. Vash or Mr. Priest. (well, Meryl's just Meryl, but Senpai sounds much cooler)

Wolfwood: You do know that you're dead after you write this?

Sunny: ^_\\ Why?

Wolfwood: You're trying to trick me into giving away the plot so you can yell at me again, aren't you.

Vash: Apparently, Milly's perceptiveness has finally rubbed off on this guy -_-.

Little Lines

Legato: Okay, today we're going to write lines of songs that remind you of your co-workers. And anyone who doesn't take this seriously, well, would you like a demonstration ::looks over at Vash::

Vash: ::gulps:: erk…no!

Meryl: . Do I really have to do this for everyone?

Wolfwood: I was going to ask that…

Milly: ::already has about a million things on her paper:: Don't complain Senpai. It's not that hard! ^_^

Wolfwood: ::peeks at Milly's paper:: O.O_? Uh, Milly?

Milly: ^_^ Hai, Bokushi-san?

Knives: Hasn't anyone learned that we need to give that girl specific instructions?

Vash: Why?

Wolfwood: ::puts out cigarette:: -_-; Because every single one has "Nicholas" written next to it.

Meryl: -_-;

Legato: -_-;

Knives: -_-;

Milly: ^_^

Vash: ^^.

Meryl: Leave it to the two clueless ones to clearly not get it.

Knives: Well, Vash is a blonde.

Wolfwood: ::doesn't even turn around:: People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Knives: O.-

Legato: He has a point, master.

Knives: O.-

Knives: O.-

Knives: O.-

Knives: O.-

Knives: O.-

Knives: O.-

Legato: ::scared for the first time in his life:: Uh…master?

Knives: I THOUGHT I MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT YOU ARE NEVER TO POINT OUT THAT MINOR DETAIL! ::picks up Kuroneko and launches it at Wolfwood and Legato::

Kuroneko: Nyaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Legato: ::ducks::

Kuroneko: ::hits Wolfwood square in the chest and knocks him flat::

Milly: O.O Bokushi-san? Are you all right?

Wolfwood: ::pushes cat off:: I'm fine. ::mutters:: Where's my cross?

::cross is over behind Knives, who is still fuming::

Wolfwood: Er…never mind.

Legato: Okay. As my master wished, here are the new, instructions, explicitly detailed.

Meryl: Oh no…

Milly: But I was almost done! ::is on her 10th page::

Wolfwood: ::passes out because every single one is about him:: @.@

Vash: O.O Wolfie?

Wolfwood: STOP CALLING ME THAT! ::slaps Vash::

Vash: But everyone else does.

Knives: Since when?

Meryl: If you paid any attention to anything, which is not surprising that you don't, he has had a rule about that name for a very long time.

Legato: ::eating an ice pop, patiently waiting for everyone to finish::

Vash: He has?

Wolfwood: ::pulls out piece of paper:: See? It says right here that only fan-girls are allowed to call me "Wolfie"

Milly: ::steals paper away for a second and scribbles something on it::

Wolfwood: ::takes paper back from her:: .

Milly: ^_^ Well? It's on there.

Wolfwood: -_-; And Milly. ::lights another cigarette::

Legato: Are we quite finished?

Meryl: Give me a second. Knives, could I borrow this ::holds up his angel arm::

Knives: ::still too angry at Wolfwood and Legato to care:: Yeah, whatever.

Meryl: Thank you. ::aims it at Vash:: Now we are.

Vash: Erp…Meryl, you aren't actually going to shoot that, are you?

Legato: Give her a good enough reason, and I'll help her.

Meryl: O.O You know, I don't really like the sound of that.

Legato: Again, are we ready?

Meryl: ::nods, still holding gun, aimed at Vash::

Legato: We are to write no more than five songs that remind us of people.

Meryl: How about the same song five times?

Wolfwood: Well, then wouldn't you feel stupid if someone had the same one as you?

Meryl: Good point.

Vash: I have a better idea.

Milly: What's that, Vash-san?

Vash: Meryl and I leave and go--

Meryl: No. Not in this lifetime.

Vash: But the other night you--

Meryl: I was drunk.

Milly: But Senpai, you weren't.

Wolfwood: And you did. ^_^_?

Meryl: AUGH!!!!! I am staying in a separate room tonight.

Knives: .^^ and exactly how do you plan to pull that one off? It's either them, or Legato and me.

Meryl: Excuse me for a minute. ::leaves::

Legato: Can we please start? ô.\\

Vash: But, Meryl left.

Legato: .\\ Don't make me do anything drastic.

Knives: Drastic? O.o

Legato: ::sends Knives flying across room::

Legato: So, now that we're ready, we might as well go.

Wolfwood: I think he might object to that ::gestures to Vash with cigarette::

Vash: TT. Meryl, come back!

Milly: Senpai'll be back! She just had to get a breath of fresh air!

Legato: ¬.\\ Oh, to be clueless…

Wolfwood: I agree. ¬.¬_?

§An hour later§

Vash: Are you sure she just got a breath of air?

Milly: I thought she did…

Knives: How pathetic are you two?

Wolfwood: Go back to sleep! ::knocks Knives upside the head with Cross Punisher::

Vash: Do you think she might have gone back to the hotel?

Wolfwood: ::sarcastic:: What might have possibly given you that idea?

Milly: Yeah! She wouldn't leave without us!

Wolfwood: O.O_?

Milly: You really should stop smoking, honey. ::takes cigarette out of mouth and stomps on it::

Wolfwood: Damn. That tasted good.

Legato: -.\\

Milly: Wanna see my list?

Wolfwood: I thought we gave up on it.

Legato: No. You're all just procrastinating.

Wolfwood: Thanks for informing me.

Milly: And this one because of that time about a month ago…::has no clue that everyone is ignoring her::

Wolfwood: In which case, I have one for Vash. I think certain people might agree with me here. ::looks over at Knives::

Legato: Get it over with.

Wolfwood: That song, Sound Siren?

Vash: I'm confused. Isn't that about a girl?

Knives: ::from where he is lying flat on the floor, he raises his hand:: Reason enough for me!

Wolfwood: No. Because there's a line in it, and I quote, ::produces CD book out of nowhere::

Vash: O.o

Legato: Is something wrong?

Milly: Bokushi-san, why are you carrying that with you?

Wolfwood: ::blushes:: Uh….er….It's….eh…::gulps:: Meryl's.

Milly: O.o And why are you carrying that? .

Wolfwood: -_-; ::to himself:: Now I'm gonna get it.

Milly: I'm sure Senpai would not appreciate you taking her things.

Wolfwood: Thank God.

Legato: ::smirking:: You are one lucky priest. ::had used mind control powers on Milly to erase what she was going to say::

Vash: So, why does it remind you of me?

Wolfwood: ::reads lyrics:: Try not and shoot and kill no one, 'cause I would feel like shit.

Knives: ::mutters, because his face is one with the floor presently:: Sounds like Vash to me.

Vash: THAT'S NOT TRUE!

Legato: I beg to differ.

Vash: And how would you know? You were dead!

Wolfwood: Point proved.

Milly: I'm just going to go and bring Senpai back. She has been gone for an awful long time.

Vash: ::waves:: Buh-bye! We'll have some pudding ready when you get back!

::Milly leaves, smiling::

Vash: ::points as Wolfwood:: As for you, mon ami,

Wolfwood: I don't want to hear it!

Vash: Why? I need your help!

Wolfwood: I don't think I want to know where this is going…

Kuroneko: Nyao?

Legato: Where'd that thing come from?

Knives: Ur-

Wolfwood: ::has Cross Punisher two inches away from Knives's skull:: Finish and die.

Knives: Never mind.

Wolfwood: That's what I thought.

Milly: Senpai's gone.

Legato: -_\\ Really?

Knives: Here's a song for Vash ::sits up and sings:: "Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think--

Wolfwood: Does anyone have a mirror for Mr. Millions? I think he needs to see something.

Legato: Unfortunately, the only one we had left with the shorter Insurance salesperson.

Vash: Would I be of service? I am his twin, after all.

Milly: But you look nothing alike, Vash-san.

Wolfwood: I'm afraid it's the best we can do.

Knives: "BECAUSE I'M BLONDE!"

Wolfwood: We noticed…

Knives: CHAPEL!

Wolfwood: Yes?

Knives: Not you, the other one.

Legato: We fired him, sir. Remember?

Knives: Augh. SOMEONE! DISPOSE OF THIS---

Milly: ::practically shoving the stun gun in his mouth:: Don't say it.

Vash: TT. My sweet precious Meryl left me?

Wolfwood: You are clueless, aren't you?

Kuroneko: Nyao ::is dragging something--or someone, rather::

Legato: Well, look at what the cat dragged in.

Knives: .-_- Literally. Welcome back, Stryfe.

Milly: ^_^

Vash: **.

Meryl: .

Wolfwood: I feel really sorry for you right now.

Meryl: Thanks.

Wolfwood: No, really.

Vash: MERYL! YOU'RE BACK! ::glomps the poor short girl::

Wolfwood: ::pries Vash off of Meryl:: Give the girl some air.

Vash: But she must have gotten plenty. She was gone for over an hour.

Meryl: What have you been telling these people, Nicholas?

Wolfwood: Nothing.

Milly: She called you Nicholas?

Wolfwood: Shit…now I'm really in trouble.

Legato: I'm not helping you this time.

Milly: ::in blind rage:: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING BEHIND MY BACK YOU FILTHY GOOD FOR NOTHING BAKA PRIEST WHO IS AWFULLY LUCKY THAT I DON'T HAVE A LETHAL WEAPON OR ELSE HE WOULD BE LYING ON THE GROUND SHAKING LIKE A BABY!

Knives: Did you catch any of that?

Legato: No.

Wolfwood: Milly, I can explain.

Vash: You better be able to. .

Meryl: Excuse me for a minute. ::starts to leave::

Vash: ::grabs collar of Meryl's shirt:: . Oh no you don't,

Meryl: What did I do?

Vash: . You tell me.

Meryl: I was drunk!

Knives: I think your generic excuse just lost all credibility.

Milly: WHAT DID YOU DO?

Wolfwood: Note to self: do not speak to Meryl for at least two more hours.

Vash: ::holding Angel Arm and wrist-machine gun, both aimed at Meryl and Wolfwood:: Okay. One or more of you is going to explain this, and it's going to be logical, and the excuse "I was drunk" will not be accepted.

Wolfwood: ::to Meryl:: This is your fault, you know.

Meryl: MY fault? You were the one who tricked me into going outside with you.

Legato: OK, let's just cut to the chase. Meryl and Wolfwood haven't exactly been, er, faithful.

Meryl: Excuse me a second. ::turns to Legato:: My relationship with Vash is strictly professional. As for him ::points at Wolfwood:: whatever he had with Milly is none of my business, and I didn't ask.

Milly: ::in tears::

Knives: I love these little melodramas. They're more fun that soap operas.

Legato: Meryl, I hate to burst your little self-assured bubble, but earlier this chapter, actions improper for mention were alluded to. And, unless I'm wrong, that would disprove your "strictly professional" argument.

Meryl: WE PLEAD THE FIFTH!

Wolfwood: We do?

Meryl: Yes. We do. Or else we're going to be in deep shit.

Wolfwood: Right! WE PLEAD THE FIFTH!

Milly: I thought only Knives could do that?

Legato: Constitutional rights are defunct out of the United States of America and the territories and protectorates.

Wolfwood: Damn.

Milly: It wouldn't work. They're not insane.

Meryl: . Milly, the fifth amendment says you don't have to say anything that may incriminate you.

Wolfwood: May I be excused for a minute? I have to make a phone call.

Vash: He'll need supervision, to make sure he doesn't run away as well.

Meryl: ::raises hand to volunteer::

Vash: And it won't be you. Milly, you go.

Milly: ^_^ Okay! ::follows Wolfwood out to make a phone call::

Vash: As for you…

Meryl: ::picks up Vash's Angel Arm and holds it to her head:: Shoot me now.

Knives: .^^ Gladly!

Vash: Oh, no you don't! ::holds machine gun up to Knives, takes gun away from Meryl:: Now, as for Legato, who has been our lawyer/legal counsel/director of activities/whatever else he'd like to be, well, he better come up with something quick.

Legato: Well, we could solve this little issue with a few quick arrange--

Wolfwood: EVERYONE PACK YOUR BAGS! WE'RE GOING TO AMERICA!

Meryl: Thank you god!

Vash: Wait a minute. What were you saying, Legato?

Legato: Well, with a few simple arrangements, this whole issue could be overlooked, and everyone could have what they want.

Meryl: I think I know where this is going.

Wolfwood: Okay, I will.

Legato: Fine. Milly, you are now Mrs. Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

Milly: ^_^

Wolfwood: O.O WHAT?

Legato: You agreed to it.

Wolfwood: I didn't think that was going to be it!

Knives: ::shakes head:: I should have thought that by now you would have learned to get the details before you agree to something.

Wolfwood: I retract my previous statement that agreed to marry Milly!

Legato: .\\ I know I really shouldn't let him, but…

Milly: T_T

Legato: I will anyway. Okay. Here are the two options, and, for humor's sake, both involve the sacrament of matrimony.

Meryl: Whose humor?

Knives: Ours.

Vash: .

Milly: Matra-what?

Wolfwood: But, I'm a priest!

Legato: We could do the one I prefer, which would put Meryl and Wolfwood into merry hell,

Meryl: Sadist.

Wolfwood: Or?

Legato: The one Knives prefers, which would make Milly and Vash need therapy.

Meryl: I don't think I want to hear what either one entails.

Wolfwood: We're going to miss the boat.

Vash: We're taking a cruise?

Wolfwood: We're going to America. The boat leaves in an hour.

Knives: Why didn't you say so?

Wolfwood: ::takes out cigarette:: I did.

§Yet Another Hour Later, when everyone finally got on the damn ship, which was easier said than done because Meryl refused to be in the same room as Vash, but both she and Wolfwood had to be under supervision, and Milly refused to do it, so a reluctant Knives watched them and then Vash destroyed Milly and Meryl's car again and Angelina broke down again, but they all got there and are now en route to the USA§

Legato: Anyway, which option have we decided on?

Vash: First.

Milly: First.

Knives: Second.

Wolfwood: Neither.

Meryl: ….

Legato: Meryl? Your input would be appreciated.

Vash: She's not talking, due to the fact that she pleaded the fifth and is afraid that anything she says may incriminate her.

Legato: Then, due to popular opinion, we'll go ahead with the

Knives: second

Legato: plan. .\\ I meant the

Knives: second

Legato: one. .\\ Master, it would be nice if you stopped interrupting.

Knives: And what is your mission?

Legato: To bring eternal pain and suffering to the man that this ::touches left arm:: arm belongs to.

Vash: O.o.

Legato: ::licks left hand delicately::

Wolfwood: That was gross.

Legato: I see your point, master.

Knives: Good. Now, we just need to find someone to officiate…

Wolfwood: I will!

Knives: Nice try. You're going to be on the receiving end.

Milly: YAY! ^_^

Knives: But you are not.

Meryl: I would like to point out that this was not supposed to happen this was and that we were supposed to be thinking of songs that remind us of the other people in the cast of Trigun.

Vash: Funny how these things work out, isn't it, sweetie?

Knives: I wouldn't call her that if I were you. Her husband might not appreciate that.

Vash: She has a husband?

Legato: Actually, he's just her fiancé presently, but will be her husband soon.

Meryl: I missed something. ::looks at Wolfwood, then Knives, who is grinning maniacally:: Oh, no. No way! Not in this life time!

Knives: Then how about the next one? ::blasts Meryl with a gun::

Vash: T_T.

Wolfwood: You're all aware that that was Milly's stun-gun, right?

Meryl: I don't think they are…And why are Milly and Vash crying?

Wolfwood: I'm not sure. Milly, sweetie, are you okay?

Milly: Get away from me, baka.

Meryl: ::low whistle:: She's pissed.

Legato: ::snicker:: Humans, how pathetic.

Wolfwood: Haven't we already discussed this area of dementia?

Knives: You mean the glass house thing?

Wolfwood: -_-_? ::nods::

Legato: -_\\

Legato: -_\\

Legato: -_\\

Legato: -_\\

Legato: -_\\

Legato: -_\\

Wolfwood: You can stop now.

Legato: Master, please accept my apologies of being one of those whom you hate the most.

Knives: Have you ever heard me complain?

Legato: No, master.

§Action edited due to temporary insanity on behalf of the author, but I can assure you it involved a Gung-Ho Gun, a plant, and at least one minute of mouth-to-mouth contact§

::Author realizes that could be more than one couple…::

Meryl: O.o

Wolfwood: O.O_?

Vash: o.O.

Milly: ^_^ Isn't that nice? Knives-san and Legato-san have found the one they love. My big big sister always said follow your heart because only it knows the truth.

Wolfwood: Milly? ::puts out cigarette:: I have to ask you something.

Milly: Go away. .

Wolfwood: ::to Meryl and Vash:: Did I miss something?

Vash: Ask her ::points at Meryl angrily:: You two apparently have something going on. Go do whatever it is you've been doing when our backs were turned.

Meryl: ::realizes what Vash said:: Oh, God, Vash! You don't really think that I like him, do you?

Wolfwood: Come to think of it, do you remember anything after you came back?

Meryl: Actually, I don't ever remember rejoining you people.

Both: WHAT DAY IS IT AND WHAT ARE WE DOING ON A BOAT?

Vash: We're going to America, so you two can be protected by the fifth amendment so you'll never tell us what's been going on. As for the day, I think it's Monday…

Legato: Like I said. Humans, how pathetic,

Knives: ::slaps Legato:: Don't you ever call my brother a human!

§Action once again edited out…same one as before, amigos. No worries. §

Meryl: O.O

Wolfwood: O.O

Vash: -_-. There is something seriously wrong with my brother at the present time. Everyone, please stop staring. We have to figure out why Meryl and Wolfwood are acting so strange, and what Milly and I are going to do after their wedding.

Meryl: Who's wedding?

Milly: . Yours and that baka priest's WHO TOLD ME LAST NIGHT THAT HE LOVED ME!

Wolfwood: You mean…I'm marrying her? That bitch? Vash, you can keep her!

Vash: ^^. And then, you can have Milly!

Legato: ::so V, M, M, & W can't hear them:: Knives, wasn't this fun?

Knives: I think it would have been more fun if you'd waited until after they had gotten married to let go of the mind control.

Legato: I had other things on my mind. If you know what I mean.

Knives: Shall we leave them to their devices?

::Knives and Legato leave::

Vash: I seriously worry about that guy.

Meryl: Calm down. AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I ENDED UP BACK WITH YOU PEOPLE AND ENGAGED TO MR. WOLFWOOD NO LESS?

Vash: Meryl Wolfwood. I like that…

Milly: ::aims stun-gun at Vash::

Vash: ^^.; But, Milly Wolfwood sounds so much better! Could you please aim that at something else?

Milly: Okay! ^_^ ::plants big wet one on Wolfwood::

Vash: ::to Milly:: Should we tell them?

Milly: Nah. Just meet me on the starboard deck in two hours.

Vash: ::nods::

Wolfwood: ::to Meryl:: We just got our butts saved.

Meryl: ::whines:: But, it's Vash…

Wolfwood: Here, two hours from now. Sound good to you?

Meryl: It's a date. ::waves good-bye somewhat flirtatiously:: Though, this acting really wears me out.

§Two Hours Later§

The Fab Four: WHA???

Milly: I thought you two were controlled by Legato?

Meryl: It's amazing how far $$15 gets you.

Wolfwood: But, apparently, it didn't matter.

Vash: Well, considering you two always seemed to sneak off in the middle of the night, we just happened to get to know each other a little better.

Meryl: I'm sure you did.

Knives: OKAY! EVERYONE! TRUCE! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must have a chat with Mr. Bluesummers about the future of his career.

Legato: ::gulp::

Knives: You better not lie like that again.

Legato: But Meryl paid me, and well, I needed the cash, for a gambling debt, so…

§You can guess what was edited out. It's amazing what these people do to get out of trouble§

Vash: Could you two get a room? Please?

Knives: ::shakes key in Vash's face::

Vash: Could you USE it then?

Knives: Gladly, mon petit frère.

Vash: WAIT! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

Knives: Rem told me.

Vash: REM! ::breaks down::

Milly: ::runs to comfort Vash::

Meryl: A-ha!

Vash: ::kisses Milly:: Thank you.

Wolfwood: So, can we just quit all the acting and follow what we truly feel? I mean, seriously, that script just wanted it that way, but I couldn't take it!

Milly: Like I'd ever kiss a man who smokes. Senpai, he's all yours.

Meryl: But you did…

Milly: ::reads over chapter:: You're right…blech! NEVER AGAIN!

Wolfwood: Praise the lord! ::picks Meryl up, swings her around the deck and kisses her::

THE END

Knives: OK. Is everyone happy? She traveled the unconventional route, put in a yaoi, and even wrote the edited parts so that V/W fans could take it that way.

Legato: Master? Can we please leave? I thought Vash told us to go back to our room.

Knives: You think I'd actually listen to my little brother?

THE REAL END

(without interruptions from certain aggravating villains)