2nd Sunday

Rae lay in her bed, she needed a cup of tea, but John was still sound asleep on the sofa. She had decided to give him until nine o clock, and then she was going to get up and just get on with things. As she lay there she heard a tap on her door and the sleepy eyed young man looked in.

"Hi, sweetheart, did you sleep ok?"

"Yeah, I like sleeping on the sofa," he walked over and sat down next to her on the bed. "Mum, I need to ask you a couple of questions, don't get cross, or embarrassed, just answer them, all right?"

Rae spent the next half an hour trying to convince her son that it was safe for her to stay in L.A. She told him a little about Phil Levington, including the fact that he hadn't hurt her any more than he could see. Then they turned to more pleasant things, and talked about Patrick and Mara, how they were doing at school and also about their Dad's new girlfriend.

"Mum," John turned and looked at her. "I would like to meet Jesse."

"Of course, I would like you to meet him too." She looked at her watch. "I have to go in and get my hand looked at, so we could go see Jesse first." Once this was agreed they got up and got ready at a leisurely pace. Rae called a cab, and soon they were on their way back to Community General.

Rae walked up to the nurse's station in the ICU. "Is Dr. Travis able to have visitors at the moment?"

The nurse smiled at her. "He was moved to an ordinary room about half an hour ago, number 298."

Rae was thrilled by the news. She and John headed off again and soon she was knocking on the door of Jesse's new room. She heard his voice and they went in.

"Rae, honey, look, no machines, I might even get to go home on Saturday." Rae leant over him, kissed him on the lips, and moved her fingers through his hair. She knew that John was in the room, but she had missed the physical contact with this wonderful man of hers.

Finally she pulled away. "Jess, this is John, my eldest son. John, this is Jesse."

John held out his hand. "Hi, I'm pleased to meet you. Are you ok? From what Mum tells me, you were hurt pretty bad."

"I'm better now. I was stupid, and I paid for my stupidity with a vacation, care of Community General. So, how was your day out yesterday? Steve told me what he had planned."

John started to tell Jesse about the ride along he'd had. It wasn't long before Jesse was describing the trick he thought was being played on him the last time he went on a ride along. Rae excused herself and headed down towards the ER.

Dr. Collins was standing by the reception desk as she exited the elevator. She smiled at him. "Good morning, Doctor, how are you today?"

"I'm fine, Rae, thank you. How's the hand?"

"Well, I was hoping that you could tell me!" They walked together into a trauma suite and Rae sat on the couch.

"Ok, let's just take the bandage off this." As he started to remove the bandage he looked at Rae. Her face was at ease. It looked like the antibiotics were working well.

"Oh, that looks much better. How about this?"

Rae jumped as he ran his finger across her hand, but it was nowhere near as painful as it had been. "I think that it's getting better, doctor, it didn't make me feel sick this time!" She looked at her hand. To her untrained eye, it didn't look as bad as it had been. It certainly didn't hurt as much.

"This is getting better, but that doesn't mean that you can go using it yet. I want it strapped up for at least another week, which means no work, Detective Yeager, is that clear?" he began to bandage it up again.

"Yes, Doctor. I guess so. It'll give me some time to spend with my son and Jesse. Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow." Rae got off the couch and headed back up to Jesse's room. He was still talking to John as she slipped into the room. She stood leaning against the glass watching two of the men she loved most in the whole world behaving like old acquaintances. She wasn't surprised, Jesse was so easy going, and John had never been short of friends, although most of the good ones he had known since nursery. Kindergarten, here that would be four-year-old kindergarten. As she stood there, somebody knocked on the door behind her.

"Mark, hi." She turned to her friend and kissed him on the cheek. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine, sweetie, how's the hand?"

"Getting better, Dr. Collins says the infection is responding to treatment, and I don't think I look quite so scary this morning! Oh, Mark, this is my eldest son, John." She walked over to where Jesse and John were still deep in conversation. "John, this is Dr. Mark Sloan, Steve's dad."

John turned to see a smiling white haired gentleman looking at him. He stood up and shook his hand. "Hi, I'm pleased to meet you."

"Rae, I need to see Jesse for a few minutes, could you come back in about half an hour?"

"Of course, I'll go and introduce John to the delights of the hospital canteen." She walked back to Jesse's bed. "I'll come back in a little while, sweetheart." She kissed him gently on the forehead and then left the room with her hand holding tightly to that of her son.

"...And you say that Steve actually likes this stuff?" John looked incredulously at his mother. "Don't you find it worrying that this is a man who owns a restaurant?"

Rae laughed. "You know I hadn't put the two together, but yeah, I guess I do. His favourite is macaroni cheese, but he calls it macaroni and cheese. This language is not English as we know it."

John laughed as well, but then his face turned serious. "You need to make a visit home mum, Patrick and Mara need to see that you're all right. I know they'll expect me to give them a time when you're coming almost the instant I land."

"I know John, and I'll try and sort something out. Trust me a little longer. You know the third one's a charm, maybe my next case won't be quite so traumatic." She looked at her watch. "We could go back up now, Mark will have finished." As she spoke she saw him walking towards them.

"Rae, Jesse is dropping off to sleep up there, but I thought you might want to sit with him. John, I'm just finishing my shift, would you like to come back to the beach house with me, and watch the world go by for a while?"

John smiled at him, "Yeah, I think I could cope with that, mum, is it ok, with you?"

"Sure, sweetheart, I'll come over with Steve later. Then we can get a cab back to Jesse's at the end of the evening. Thank you, Mark." Rae and John went their separate ways, Rae waved at his retreating back as she headed back to Jesse's room.

She had been sitting there for about an hour, writing down some notes for her statement when the nightmare started.

Jesse could feel the pad around his mouth, as he squirmed and tried to break free. Then instantly he was tied up on the floor being kicked and punched.

Rae had moved quickly to the head of Jesse's bed when he had started to toss and turn. She put her hand on his shoulder, but he moved away from her.

"No, no, please don't, no."

He saw Rae coming towards him, a gun pointed at her. He tried to get closer, he could move away from the radiator that he was now attached to, and he went towards her. As he got within reach they moved away from him again, and he saw Levington begin to kiss her. "No, leave her, don't touch her." He felt himself being moved away from what was happening. 

Jesse was trying to push himself off the bed, but Rae gently pushed him back down.

"Oh, God, please, don't touch her."

"Jesse, honey, no, don't. Please, baby." Her voice was heavy with tears as she struggled with what she was hearing.

He could hear her voice, calling to him, telling him no, not to do anything, but he had to. He moved towards her again, and then he saw her with a scarf around her neck, lying dead on the ground. He reached out to touch her, to take the scarf away and impossibly she raised her gun and began to fire it. "Rae, no. RAE! NOOOOOOO!"

He was getting very agitated now. Rae leant over and pressed the nurse's button and then turned back to him. He put his hands out towards her, trying to pull at her, grabbing her t-shirt. His voice got louder and he began to scream. "RAE! NOOOOOOO!"

Rae knew that she had to get to him. Speaking softly hadn't worked. "Jesse," She put her hands on his shoulders. "Jesse, Come On Wake Up. Jesse!" The nurse came into the room. "Get Dr. Collins up here please, Nurse. Dr. Sloan has gone for the day hasn't he?"

She nodded and left as silently as she had arrived.

The room was beginning to fade away. He could hear her voice, but she was dead, he looked at her and he could see Phil Levington with his hands on her throat. "No, get away from her, she's mine, leave her. Don't touch her." He was crying now, but it made no difference.

"... leave her. Don't touch her."

Rae brushed her fingers down his face, and then gently brushed his hair back from his forehead. It made no difference to him. "Jesse, come on, sweetheart, come back to me, please." Her left hand was firm on his shoulder now. "Jesse!"

Then he heard her voice. "Come back to me, please. Jesse."

Suddenly she saw him take a gulp of air, he looked at her, and the tears began to come. "Rae... Oh God ... Rae, I'm ... so..."

"Shhh, it's all right. It's over, my darling, it's over."

"I couldn't ... reach ... you... Rae... hold me..." His face was contorted with the sobbing and the pain of his dreams. She leant across and gently laid her head on his shoulder, then she put her arm across him and gave him a squeeze.

There was a faint knock on the door and Rae looked up to see Dr. Collins standing there. "Are you alright, Rae?"

"He had a nightmare, Doctor, I'm fine, but later he may need something to help him sleep."

"Get a nurse to contact me again when he's ready." Dr. Collins smiled at her and left the room. He knew that right now Jesse needed a friendly ear more than a sedative.

"Jess, look at me." Rae placed the index finger of her left hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her.

"Tell me about it. Tell me about your dream."

He gulped in some more air, and tried to wipe the tears away from his face. "I let you down, Rae, I'm so sorry."

"What? No, Jess. Oh, honey, no, never. You have never let me down. We have to talk about what Levington did, whenever you're ready. Jesse, he didn't hurt me, not like you think, I promise you that." She leant over and kissed him where the tears were running down his face.

"Oh, Rae, I need you here with me so much."

"I know, and I'm not going anywhere. John is spending the day with Mark, I will stay until you are fed up with me and want me to go."

"Hold me, Rae,"

"I don't want to hurt you, Jess."

"You won't, just put your arm around me, I just need to feel you touching me."  She leant over and did as he asked. They stayed together like that for a few minutes.

"Jess."

"Mmm"

"Honey, my arm has gone numb, could I move do you think?" Rae lay there, waiting for a reply. "Jess? Sweetheart I need to move, is that all right?"

"What, oh, sorry." Jesse rubbed at his eyes. "Oh, God, Rae, I don't want to be like this."

Rae sat up and looked over at Jesse, his face was wet with tears, but it was more than that. He looked uncomfortable, as if he didn't know what to say next. Rae watched as he ran his hands through his hair, again and again, even though it was obvious that the movements caused him pain.

"Jess, listen, as a founder member of the I can cope on my own society, take it from me, we can't. We need each other. You may need to see Brian, like I do, or maybe just talking to me might do it. We can try the last first if you would like."

Jesse nodded. He took a deep breath. "I felt so helpless. I knew that he was going to kill me... but it was you I was worried about. I could hear him talking to you, when you were in the other room. I heard him make you take your vest off... I thought he was going to shoot you... I heard him... hit you, and then... when you didn't have Steve's number you cried out... and I couldn't reach you." He had to stop talking. His chest was hurting, and his head was swimming. "Rae ... I'm sorry, I can't talk any more."

"Hey, sweetie, shhh it's ok. Relax and shut your eyes, I'll stay with you. Nobody can hurt you anymore, or me."

Jesse did as he was told, but he wasn't tired, his brain was whirling and he couldn't stop it. He tried to think of other things, nice things he and Rae had done together, and slowly he began to get a hold of himself again. He opened his eyes. Rae was still sitting, as she had been, her hand over the top of his. "Rae?"

"Shhh, it's ok, honey, I'm here."

She looked at him, and he could see the love in her eyes. "Tell me, Rae, did he... force himself on you?"

"No, Jesse, he tried, but he didn't do it. He touched me... and kissed me, he put his tongue into my mouth, and I bit it, hard. That's how I got this." She ran her hand down her face. Then she smiled. "But it was worth it!"

Jesse smiled back at her. "I'm sorry he hit you, but I'm so glad that you did that to him! Rae, when you shot him, would you have carried on shooting if I hadn't called out?"

Rae looked down. "Yes, I would have. I hated him, Jesse. I still do, for what he did to you, to Steve and Alex, to me, and to us. Part of me still wishes I had killed him."

They were both quiet then. Rae tried to shut out the feelings that she had for the man who had turned their lives into a living nightmare, while Jesse tried to work out how to say the one thing he had left on his mind.

"Rae, if he hadn't touched you on the neck, what do you think would have happened?"

Rae looked at him. She knew now what the answer to that was. She also knew that Jesse had her in a corner, she had to answer him, she just wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

"Rae, look at me. I need to know, what would have happened?"

He had changed his question, he knew that Rae had a very good idea what the outcome would be, and he wanted to know, now.

"He would have killed you, Jess, and then he would have drugged me and either killed me too, or I would have wound up in a seedy motel somewhere as the first Mrs. Levington. Steve found my clothes from the beach house, wedding rings, and Rohypnol. I'm sorry, Jess, but I know that's what would have happened."

Jesse looked at her, for some strange reason he felt better for her having said that, as terrible as it would have been. "Thank you, thank you for being honest with me. I think I will sleep now, for a while. Will you stay?"

Rae nodded. "I'll just go down to the newsstand and get a magazine and then I'll be back, ok?" She stood up and left the room. She went down via the ER. As she arrived at the nurse's station she could see Dr. Collins working in one of the trauma suites. "Nurse, could you get Dr. Collins to come up to Dr. Travis' room when he's free please? Tell him it's not urgent, but I would like to speak with him."

Rae grabbed a couple of magazines and then headed back up to Jesse's room. He was sound asleep when she entered. She opened the first magazine, but as she flicked through it she remembered the feelings she had when she saw herself in the Comet, with a gasp she dropped it onto the table. For goodness sake, girl, get a hold of yourself. It's over; you need to get your life back.  She picked up the pad that she had been writing her report on, and continued with her work instead.

Jesse slept, soundly, for three hours. Dr. Collins had been up and Rae told him what had happened. He made some notes on the chart ready for Mark to read at the beginning of his next shift, although Rae assured him that she would tell him everything that evening.

It was just after twenty past four when Jesse woke. Rae had just tiptoed out of the room because Steve had arrived. She had explained about the dreams and they were talking quietly when Rae heard her name.

"Rae, where are you?"

"I'll meet you in the cafeteria in twenty minutes, ok?"

Steve nodded his head and walked away.

"I'm here, Jess, it's alright, I'm still here."

"I didn't dream, Rae, thank you." He put his hand up and pulled her down towards him. He began to kiss her.

Rae felt his tongue go into her mouth, and for an instant she froze, then she opened her eyes, so that she could see it was Jesse as he kissed her, relaxed and let him explore. She felt his hands in her hair, and she began to respond to his kiss. For a while there was no one else who mattered in the world, and then they slowly parted.

Her expression changed to one of concern as she watched him struggle slightly for breath.

"Jess, are you alright. She looked around, there was an oxygen machine by the bed, but Jesse shook his head.

"No, I'm fine, you make me breathless even when I'm not hurt." He smiled at her, he was breathing normally again now.

"Oh, Jess, what a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Listen, I have to go and see Steve, will you be alright?" She moved the buzzer nearer to his hand and leant over and kissed him on the lips once more. "I'll be back in a little while, probably about half an hour or so.

Rae headed for the cafeteria. Steve had a plate of food in front of him and was tucking in with gusto. "Were you starved as a small child, Lieutenant?"

"What? Oh, funny! Look I know it's a standing joke that I like this food, but I do, and I'm hungry!"

"Don't pout, Lieutenant, just eat your meal, I'm sure your stomach will realise it's mistake one of these days!" Rae watched him for a minute, then she smiled at him. "What did you want to see me about, Steve?"

"The arraignment is tomorrow. We got a true bill at the indictment without any problems."

Rae looked at him. He could tell instantly that she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Ok, let me start again. The arraignment is tomorrow. Are you with me so far?"

Rae stuck her tongue out at him, "Yes, arraignment – Levington will enter a plea and the judge will set a date for trial. But a defendant must be indicted by the grand jury prior to being brought to trial. If the jury thinks that the defendant probably did the crime then you get an indictment." She smiled at him.

"A true bill is another way of saying that we got an indictment. So, Friday we got a true bill. The arraignment will be tomorrow, so will the bail hearing hopefully."

Rae looked at him. "No, Steve, they wouldn't. He'll try again. I know he will. Can't we oppose bail? What about what he did to Jesse?"

"Hey, slow down, he won't get bail, Rae. He might have on the stalking charges, but he kidnapped Jesse, and seriously injured him. He's looking at twenty years to life. There is no way he will get bail."

Rae breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's not our case, Rae, we'll both be called as witnesses, so will Jesse, and probably Alex."

"Why only probably Alex?"

"Because we have no proof that Levington was driving that car. We checked his vehicle, and there were no indications that it had been involved in a hit and run. So it's just our word against theirs. If his diary can be used then we have proof."

"Is there any reason why we shouldn't be able to use it?"

"No, I don't think so. Everything was carried out by the book. Jan made sure of that. Rae, how do you think you'll feel facing him across the courtroom?"

"I have no idea. It wasn't a problem with Leticia Howard, because she pleaded guilty. I guess it's not surprising that I won't get that to happen twice."

Rae looked over towards the counter and saw Lee Tennant bring some food out. She hadn't seen him since just after Leticia Howard had murdered his son. So she excused herself and walked over.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Tennant, how are you getting on?"

Lee Tennant looked over with a puzzled face, then realised who she was. "Not too bad thanks, Detective." He moved over to a quiet part of the serving line and Rae followed him. "I've started to see a councillor, it feels good to be able to talk about Terry, and know that I'm the only one who is going to get upset. What about you? I hear you've had your own problems, with the Howard woman and since." He looked at her, and Rae could see the compassion in his eyes.

"Yep, it's been a bit hairy, but hopefully life will settle down a bit now. You know where to reach me if you ever need anything." She smiled at him and headed back towards Steve's table.

"How is he, Rae?"

"Suffering, grieving, just the same as the Marlow's. I don't know if any of them will ever get over it. Makes my problems seem small." She tried a smile, but found that she couldn't. "Steve, I'm going to go back up to Jesse. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, I've got to get back to the station. Rae, do you know when you will be back in?"

"Well, Dr. Collins said that I should have the week off, but I plan to be back in on Wednesday after John has left. What time are you finishing tonight?"

Steve looked at his watch, "Probably in about an hour, five thirtyish."

"Any chance of a lift to the beach house? John has spent the day there."

"Sure, I'll pick you up down stairs at about six."

"Thanks." Rae walked away from him, saw Lee Tennant again and waved as she passed.

Jesse was dozing as she entered the room, but he stirred as she sat on the chair. "Hey, you were quick."

"No, you were asleep." She took his hand in hers and looked at him. "Jess, when you get out of the hospital, how long before you will be back on duty?"

"I don't know, probably about a month, maybe six weeks before I can get back to work why?"

"I thought I might go and visit with my children ... I would like you to come with me."

Jesse smiled at her. "I would love to, Rae, how about in say four weeks time?"

"That's a plan then." She smiled at him, and sighed. She had hoped that would be his response.

They were quiet for a while, Jesse wasn't tired, but he didn't have much energy to spare. He liked the way she was gently stroking his hand, and he lay there enjoying the sensation.

After a while there was a tap at the door and a nurse came in with Jesse's evening meal. Rae looked at her watch, "Goodness me, it's almost six already. Jesse, I need to get to Mark's, he's been stuck with John nearly all day. I'll be back in the morning, ok?"

The nurse left the room, and Rae walked over and gave Jesse a goodbye kiss.

 "I love you, Rae, be careful, honey."

"I will, sleep well."

Steve was waiting for Rae when she arrived in Reception. "Hey, I was beginning to think you had fallen asleep up there. Or maybe you were getting something to eat!"

Rae just looked at him. Then unable to resist it any longer stuck her tongue out at him. "Come on, let's go save Mark from John."

When they arrived at the beach house, Mark was sat on the deck. Rae looked out over the sand and she could see John running into the water. "He's quite a water baby isn't he?" Mark looked over at her.

"Oh, yeah, he loves to swim. He's done lifeguard training, diving, all sorts of different courses, but in the end it's just the swimming that he enjoys the most."

"Actually I think it's the young ladies in bikinis that he enjoys the most now." Mark smiled across at the young man's obviously proud mother. "The accent doesn't do him any harm either!"

"My son, the flirt!" Rae looked across at him as he came slowly up the beach. She was immensely proud of him; she couldn't believe how glad she was he had come to visit.

"Hey, Mum, why didn't you tell me this was where you were staying when you first arrived. What a fantastic place!"

"It is, isn't it? But you have been here all day. It's time we made ourselves scarce. Get yourself dressed and I'll call for a cab."

"Rae, I won't hear of it. Dinner is in the oven, and I have made enough for everyone. Steve or I will run you both back to Jesse's after that."

"Thank you, Mark, that would be lovely, and I do need to talk to you about Jess."

"Sure, sweetie, what is it, is there a problem?"

"He had a nightmare this afternoon. In his mind he was back in Levington's place. We talked about it afterwards, and he feels that he let me down.

"That's understandable, honey, he loves you. You felt that way yourself only a couple of days ago, didn't you?"

"I know that, Mark, but it's different, Levington was after me, and I'm a cop, I should have been able to protect Jesse."

"You're not superwoman, Rae, he wants to look after you, and I guess he feels that by being captured by Levington he failed. That's why he feels that he let you down."

Rae nodded. "I told him that he hadn't, but he heard everything that went on, Mark. I think it will prey on his mind for a while.  I told him that he should consider seeing Brian Dobson, and I got the feeling that he will think about it."

"Good grief, you shouldn't be a police woman, you should be a doctor, I would never have gotten that past him."

"Well, he was a bit of a captive audience, and I do keep my best bedside manner for the special people in my life.

Mark smiled and put his hand over hers. "He'll be fine, Rae, it may take some time, but he will be fine, and so will you, honey."

The meal and the company were both very good. It was past eleven before Rae and John settled themselves for the night at Jesse's once again. Rae lay in bed looking up at the ceiling. All in all, it's been quite a good day. With that pleasant thought in her mind her eyes slowly closed and she slept.