Lindsay_ We are Barney and the backyard gang dah dah dah dadada dah dah! Melissa_ (scratching her head) Aren't gangs supposed to be bad or 'sometin) Cristina_ (Grabbing the director hat from Aundrey) I'm the director now! Melissa_ Was this in the script? Lindsay_ We play with Barney every day, he plays with our friends too! Whenever we go out, the people always shout, we are Barney and the backyard gang! Cristina_ Now troops, lets build a spaceship! Melissa_ Don't we need gas or something? Lindsay_ (she stopped singing and turned to Cristina) She's right. Let's get gas. Aundrey- like a fanny-burp? (Lindsay looks at him in disgust) Cristina_ Okay. (She rattled her pockets) Do you guys have any change? Lindsay: (Shrugging) No, but we can take alms. Aundrey: (Lifting his head out of the mud) Cool, can I be the pilot. Lindsay: No, you don't have a driver's license. (They walk to the gas station. On the way there, they talk.) Melissa_ Um, aren't we supposed to have a car or in our case, a spaceship, before we get gas, so we have something to fill up? Aundrey_ Nope, I have a yogurt container. We can use that to hold the gasoline. (They reach the gas station. Lindsay walks up to an elderly women who is sitting on a bench and chewing peanuts) Lindsay: Lady, we ask if you can spare some change for gas we need to get ourselves away from this place.

Lady: Yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change. (She gestured to Aundrey who was picking his nose. He pulled out a bugger and held it out to the lady.) Aundrey_ Doesn't this 'sorta look like Yoda? Cristina_ Eww, double yukosis! Lady_ (Pulling her glasses down into her nose and eyeing the kids suspiciously) Hey, aren't you kids a little young to drive? (She suddenly gasped) Oh! I bet you're one of those homicidal kids who wan to blow up the world! Why, As soon as you get the gas, you'll light a match, and it will be all over! (She starts hitting them violently with her purse, the kids cover their faces and try to escape.) Cristina_ Aye, Conijos! (when the handbag whips her rear end, she squeals) Lady_ Don't try any of your Spanish stuff on me, miss! (Suddenly the manager ran out) Manager_ Mother, mother, it's okay! You can go back to the funny farm tomorrow. (He put his hand on Cristina and pulls her towards him. Cristina arches an eyebrow at her.) See the girl? Nice girl. Cristina- (jumping on the old lady's lap) Hi! I'm Cristina! Aren't I the cutest little thing you ever saw! (Lindsay and Melissa start coughing. Cristina glares at them.) Lady- you never can- (she is interrupted when suddenly, a short person with curly hair on his head and feet appears, who smells like sweat and has a shiny nose.) Melissa- uh. Frodo? What is he doing in this movie? Aundrey- Cristina!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did I say about hobbits? What did I say about hobbits?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cristina- beats me. You weren't listening either? (she walks up to Elijah, who looks confused) Lindsay- Oh. My. God. This is going to be the coolest movie ever! Aundrey (still jumping up and down) I'm ruined. I'm a ruined man! I'm a ruined soul! (Legolas appears) Aundrey- what is the elf doing here? Lindsay- Elijah Forest and Legolas go together like cheese and bananas! You can't have one without the other! (Suddenly, the lights go off, and the disco ball came down. Billy Jean comes on, and on Que., they all start dancing.) Michael Jackson walks in as the "Du. Du. Du. Du. Part starts and begins to sing) Aundrey- Ruined!!!! Cristina: (re-reading the script)hey. wait just a ding-dang minute here! I never said Legolas was in this movie! Just Elijah. er, I mean Frodo! (suddenly glares at Lindsay). Lindsay! Lindsay: What, I want some pleasure too! Melissa: Hey, who do I get? Cristina: You can get Aundrey! Aundrey: ahem, that's Andrei, with an ei! Melissa: (In a Darth Vader voice) Noooooooooooo! (She screams and run off the set) Cristina: (run over to the edge of the set) Melissa? Are you there? Hellu? Hellu? Lindsay: (shrugs) well, that's one less person to build the spaceship for. Andrei: yeah, we already have Elijah Forest, er Frodo, Legolas, Michael Jackson, and us. Cristina: Uh-uh, no way! Michael Jackson and Legolas ain't coming! They're fantasies of Lindsay! (she pushes them off the set. Michael moonwalks out.)

Legolas: finally, I can take this wig off! (he pulls it off, revealing a Mohawk) Lindsay: (Sighing lovingly.) Gotta love the Mohawk, baby! Elijah, er Frodo: Can I take my hobbit feet off now, Lexi? Andrei: Aw, but you good in them (he flutters his eyebrows. Every one stares at him. He starts to cough) Lindsay: Anyway. Cristina: Of course you can, Elijah. Andrei: You mean Frodo. Cristina: No, I mean Elijah! He's taking his hobbit feet off, isn't he? Frodo, er Elijah: While I'm at it, I might as well take off my cloak and wig. It's getting hot. Lindsay: you can take off the rest of your clothes too, if you want, Eli. (she smirks at him. Andrei starts to cough again.) Elijah: No thanks, I can just take off my costume. I have regular clothes underneath. And could you make me my normal size again? Cristina: K. (Elijah removes his costume and wig. He becomes normal sized.) Lindsay: Er. isn't he going to get bigger? Elijah: (Looking at the sky) I'm not very tall. (he is only a few inches taller than Cristina)