I Still Put Faith In Us
Part Two: Trust Me

Author's Notes: Wow. Been ages. O_O Finally swept the dust off this one and came up with Part Two, although it looks like there's going to be a Part Three now. This chapter is more focused on Chel than anything, which happened unintentionally, but I'm enjoying myself developing her. There's gonna be Miguel and Tulio in Part Three, I promise! ^_^
There's a serious issue covered in Chel's past, and although she luckily manages to escape it, it's affected her deeply. I'm sorry if I offend or cause pain to anyone who's gone through the same thing, especially if Chel's way of coping with it isn't accurate for most people or offends them. You'll see what I mean, kinda, when you read.
As always, read, respond, and enjoy!


It had been her sixteenth failure as a matchmaker, and Chel was beginning to wonder if she was bad at this. She entertained the thought for a few moments, before dropping it out of her mind. She could con, not to mention seduce, the pants off Tulio any day. It shouldn't be much harder if she acted as an outside source. After all, she wasn't the one he really wanted, deep down.
No, she'd questioned that at first, but now she was sure of it. After sixteen attempts of leaving them alone, of compromising positions and false flirtation towards Miguel, of dropping the subtleties and giving blatant advice to the blonde Spaniard, she'd seen enough. Tulio's eyes danced like blue flames at the sight of the other man. They lingered too long, his hands touched too much, only two people in the world coaxed smiles from him and those born of her presence were much more rare.
Every plan had failed.

"Can I ask you a question, Chel?"
Failure number ten, 'Operation Hot Springs'. Miguel had emerged from it with certain physical discomforts, threatening her with bodily harm if she 'ever did that to him again'. Newly calmed in its aftermath, however, he'd turned thoughtful, hence the question.
"Sure. What's up?"
"Why?"
She blinked, not quite grasping the blonde's meaning. "Uhm...why not?" she offered helpfully.
"You have him," Miguel murmured, his normally bright and mysteriously British tones showing a restraint from bitterness. "He cares about you completely, Chel, more than he's ever cared about any other woman in his life. I've been there most of it, I know. You don't have to do this. Why do you?"
"I think...you're assuming Tulio and I love each other."
His surprise inspired her own. Did Tulio say nothing about her, or had Miguel, or both of them, avoided the topic of her when they were alone?
"Don't you?" he questioned her.
"No. He's...great, and gorgeous, and an amazing-well. He's amazing," she covered swiftly, as pain began to register in the man's emerald eyes. "But it's like friends with benefits, Miguel. Good friends, but just that. We never pretended it was anything more than that. I don't think I ever wanted anything else."
She didn't know what prompted the next question, and perhaps he didn't, either. "Have you ever been in love before?"
"Never. I..." She managed a smile, and a chuckle. "I don't think I'd know it if it crept up on me and hit me."
"I complain more than I cooperate on this matchmaking buisness. I guess I'm afraid of losing him. I...thank you, Chel."
"Hey, it's ok. Anything for the two of you." She ruffled his hair playfully, her smile and easy charm beginning to return.
She realized, faintly, that she'd never answered his question.

That conversation still registered, like a fresh memory, but it was silenced in the evenings when she met with Tulio. Everything was easier when he was around; they donned old masks, were friends and lovers and explorers like always.
At night, the darker Spaniard seemed to crave physical contact more than ever, as though he was trying to smother a wayward urge. It was a literally guilty pleasure, every shiver down her spine coupled with the prayer that Miguel hadn't seen them, heard them, hadn't resented. Soon, she promised him silently, drowning in Tulio's kiss for the brief time she had it. It's because of you, and soon now, he'll be all yours. I swear.
It was the first time she'd felt guilty about anything. Not to mention torn.
Failure seventeen, failure eighteen, failure nineteen. "Just tell him?" she suggested with a wince one day, the fear in Miguel's eyes instantly negating the idea.
She decided to hit the source.

"What would you call us, Tulio?" She nuzzled into his arms (for the time being, Miguel, only for the time being), meeting his eyes with a questioning gaze.
"Uhm...friends with benefits?"
"Exactly what I was thinking."
A brief, awkward pause. "That...doesn't bother you, does it?"
Chel laughed, kissing his cheek. His scent was a combination of the jungle and a dangerous musk. She wondered when she had started focusing on such details. "*I* seduced *you*, remember, 'little voice'?"
"Oh, do I ever."
Ack, wrong move. Conversation *away* from her, *away* from sex, and most importantly, away from the two of them combined.
"I don't know the first thing about love, y'know? I don't think we'd have worked that way. I don't think I'd work with anyone that way, really...don't know if I could start thinking about someone other than myself."
Long, nimble fingers began to trace patterns on her skin, Tulio's voice lowering as he grew thoughtful. "You think that's what it takes?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Knowing a person inside out, and wanting the world for them...I mean, I don't know what gets more powerful that. Couple it with lust, and you've got someone hooked, I'd say." She was insanely aware of him, and it was all desire. For as long as she could remember, her world had been desire, and riches, and escape from a world that still lingered. Hovered in the back of her mind, waiting to haunt her...
No, she couldn't think about that. It had left her long ago, when she'd finally fled the city after so many attempts. And yet, it wouldn't rest, maybe it never would.
"Did I ever tell you why I wanted to leave El Dorado?"
He raised a single dark brow, and shook his head. "I don't know much about your past at all, now that you mention it."
"I was in training to be a priestess. Like Tzekel Khan, except not insane, ya know?" She gave a short laugh, more bitter than she'd planned it to be. "So he was the one teaching me everything. Creepy guy, I thought, but not nuts, that part didn't register. Until he tried to...well. Abuse his superiority."
Chel had said it so matter-of-factly that her lover was stunned by the final words. He scanned her eyes-eyes that often held a fear he could never define, or make tangible-and found the truth in them. "Dios, I'm...really afraid to think of what you mean."
"That means you're probably right. When he made his advance, wouldn't stop when I told him to, I ran. Got away, thank God, and as fast as I could. He tried to find me, to...send me to Xibulba. I wouldn't have him, so I'd be a sacrifice. Virgins are prime for that or something." Another bitter laugh, as she curled herself more protectively in Tulio's arms. "But I'd ensured I'd have my first time, before he could lay a finger on me. He'd find some other way, though, I *knew* he would...so I grabbed the most valuable thing I could carry, and I ran. Fast."
"And then we found you."
"Yes." She wondered again how she'd come to this story in her thoughts, and why she chose to tell it. "I've never talked about it before, Tulio. With anyone. I acted like it had never happened, refused to let the bastard affect me. I always took what I wanted, sex, money, power if I'd had the chance. Whatever, just to show I wasn't afraid. Made myself think it was so easy..."
"Chel..." He moved to wrap her further in his arms, but for an instant, she resisted. Those eyes cared too much, as they looked down at her. *She* cared too much.
"You've gotta listen to me, ok? I've been alone for all my life, and I always will be. You've never had to deal with that. Even for that brief time you fought with him, Miguel was with you. You have someone who'll *always* be with you. Don't you *ever* take that for granted, you understand?"
"Chel-"
"Understand?" Her urgency surprised the both of them.
"...Him, yes. Dios, I'll always understand him, but you...I feel like I'm hurting you, and I almost wish I did love you. You never hurt people you love."
Chel shook her head, thinking of the pained emeralds of Miguel's eyes. "No, Tulio. You hurt them more than anything else can. You can feel anything, do anything but love them, and it's like a knife."
"I thought you said you'd never been in love."
"No," she said, and then the relief came as she knew she wasn't lying. "I never have been. But I think I know what it means to care. ...Let's get to sleep, Tulio. I'm cool now, okay?"
Tulio managed a smile, thinking of Miguel (more, he mused, than he wanted too lately) and of the woman in his arms and how strange it was that she was so like both of them.
Part of Chel knew that this would be the last night spent by his side.

-to be continued-