Duo in: Gundam Wonderland
Chapter 11: Who stole the Tarts?

Aah We're almost through. Just this and the next chapter! But don't worry (if you even cared) I'll be doing Through the Looking Glass next maybe. But only if I get more reviews! This is the infamous TRIAL! Here we go.
Duo: You're stalling again aren't you.
SHUT UP!

Queen Relena was sitting up on her throne, with her arms crossed, and a fresh new frown on her face. The King was sitting on his throne that was ever so slightly lower than the Queens. The Knave Pargan was standing before them on a lower level of the court with his hands cuffed.
The court was filled with all different creatures and it was completely packed. Duo had to jab a frisky lizard in the gut to keep it from crawling up his skirt.
Duo was seated next to Trowa-gryphon, who rather than sitting on the seat normally like a human, was perched on his seat like a gargoyle and swapping the people behind him with his lion tail.
Next to the Queen, doing a sexy seductive dance in Duo's direction, was Quatre-Bunny. He was using a scroll as a sexy fan while danced around a trumpet. He was actually getting quite a crowd watching him and cheering him on. So he figured, why not strip. However, he was cut short by the Queen's fist pounding down on the top of his head. He pouted and stuck out his tongue, then sat down with his legs hanging over the balcony.
In the middle of the court was a large table, and on the table was a big tray of tarts, shaped like a cat's head with 'I *heart* Heero' on it. They looked good, but Duo thought that the whole inscription on the tart was kind of stupid. But really at this point he didn't care. He was getting really hungry. He wished the trial would hurry up and get over so they would start handing out the refreshments.
Duo looked around the courtroom. He'd been in court before, petty theft and the like, but he had never been in a court like this. This seemed like something out of a cartoon.
He figured out that the King was the judge because he had a long white wig under his crown. And he spotted out the jury box, which was filled with all the Professors. You know, Pro. J, M, Q all the letters of the alphabet. All of them were busy writing down something on the slates they each had.
"What are they doing?" Duo asked. "They're writing their names down so that they don't forget them."
"Morons."
As soon as he said that he noticed that all of the mads were busy writing down 'morons' on their slates.
Duo looked up at Quatre-bunny and noticed that he was giving him the bedroom eyes. Until the Queen, yet again, slugged him in the head.
"Herald, read the accusation!" The King demanded.
"First, you gimmie a kiss!"
"What!?" The King was taken aback as the juror's quickly wrote down the incident.
"Come on, pucker up!"
"How 'bout you pucker up on your trumpet, and get started with the bloody accusation!" The King was getting upset.
"Oh ho ho! So you like it like that, ne? Alrighty." And Quatre-bunny picked up his trumpet and blew on it three times, then he unrolled his scroll and read aloud-

"The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts
And took them quite away!"

When he had finished Quatre did a little curtsey, and blew kisses to all he thought were pretty in the crowd.
"Jury, what's your verdict then?" The King asked the jury.
"NO! You're stupid! You have to do the TRIAL before the verdict. Idiot king." Quatre-bunny near had a tantrum.
"Well, what do you suggest we do." The King asked.
"Well," Quatre-bunny slithered his way over to the King and sat on his lap, running his hands around the King's neck. "We could always-"
"WHAT DO WE DO FOR THE TRIAL!" The King quickly shouted.
"HMPH!" The rabbit hopped off of the King's lap and took his place back, "We should call the first witness."
"Okay, call the first witness" the King echoed.
Quatre-bunny picked up his trumpet again and gave it a good hard blow. Duo noted to himself 'He's awfully good at that trumpet, it's no wonder though.'
"FIRST WITNESS" the rabbit shouted.
Two big card shaped doors opened and in sauntered the Mad Hatter Dorothy, with one hand on her hip and the other hand swirling a tea cup around on her finger while she carried a cookie in her mouth. Her Jessica Rabbit walk was very well liked by EVERYONE. The jurors made sure to write that down.
She looked up at the King and winked at him. "Beg y'r pardon Magistrate, BUT you called me in the middle of tea. I hadn't quite finished."
"You SHOULD have finished before you came, when did you start?"
To this Dorothy put her cookie into her teacup and tapped her cheek with her finger. "Lets see. Lets see." She looked over to the crowd and saw the March Hare Zechs rubbing against a helpless young man in the crowd, while the Dormouse Noin just slept with her head against his shoulder.
"It was the fourteenth of March, I'm pretty sure." Dorothy took a bite out of her cookie.
"Moou, it was the fifteenth." Zechs-bunny moaned as he finally went down on the boy he was sitting next to.
"Sixteenth" added the Dormouse in her sleep.
"Write that down, eh, but leave out the nasty things that the rabbit is doing in the audience." Said the King to the jury.
"Hatter, its very rude to have your hat on inside the court, take it off." The King then said to the hatter.
"'Snot mine, sir."
"STOLEN!!!"
"Moron, I keep them to sell. I'm a damn hatter for crimeny's sake." The hatter replied coolly, but became nervous when Relena started staring at her.
"Well, tell us your evidence and don't be nervous or you'll be executed."
Of course, this is no way to encourage someone to not be nervous and Dorothy just got more nervous and more nervous. She became so nervous she drank her cookie and ate her teacup.
Duo, who was watching this all very intently noticed something. He was growing again. He also didn't want to draw attention to himself so he stayed where he was. He accidentally knocked Trowa-gryphon from his perch to which Trowa started quietly yelling at him.
"Stop hogging up all the room!"
"I can't help it! I'm growing." Duo replied.
"You have no right to grow here!"
"Don't be stupid! You know you're growing too!"
"Yeah, but I grow normally! Ya freak!"
"Oh well now that hurt Trowa."
Relena was still staring at Dorothy with an evil glare that would beat even Heero's. The King was still demanding the evidence.
"Eh, well, yesee it, eh, started with some tea, and then the March Hare said that-"
"I DID NOT!" Shouted Zechs-bunny as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, er, paw.
"YOU DID TOO!"
"I DENY IT!!"
"He denies it, don't write that down in the notes" The King said.
"Well, eh, then the Dormouse said that, eh.." She looked over to the Dormouse to see if she would object like the Hare. There was no response, because Noin-mouse was fast asleep on Duo's apron.
"Well, what did the dormouse say?" asked the King.
"Well, I don't know. I forgot. I'd much rather finish my tea." Dorothy said as she was cowering away from Relena's glare.
"Alright, you may go." The King then turned to Relena,"Really my dear you must cross examine the witnesses instead of staring at them with fury."
Quatre-bunny was lazily kicking his feet off the side of the balcony, making sexy poses at Trowa-Gryphon who was looking back at Quatre-bunny and blushing like an idiot. Quatre-bunny was too busy being seductive that he missed his cue. To which Relena gave him yet ANOTHER punch to the head.
He picked up his trumpet and blew it again,"NEXT WITNESS".
The doors reopened as Dorothy made a quick exit, but nearly fell over from coughing over the next witness.
Duo already knew who it was because of the screaming, ranting, and pepper everywhere. It was Une the cook from Duchess Treize's house.
"Give your evidence," said the King.
"No!"Une replied quickly.
The King shifted in his seat confused and kind of scared of her. He looked over to the White Rabbit who was climbing down from his balcony and making his way to where Trowa-gryphon was.
"RABBIT! Where are you going!?" Screamed the King. Quatre-bunny nearly lost his grip and fell from the balcony, but held tight and scrambled his way back.
"EH, Yes, sir?"
"What should I do now?"
"You,um,should cross examine the witness."
"Ah! Good idea. Um, Cook, what are the tarts made of?"
"Pepper, mostly!!!"Shouted Une. Why she was shouting no one is really sure.
"Gundaniam!" shouted Noin, who woke and was now sitting up off of Duo's lap.
The Queen stood up and screeched,"SILENCE THAT MOUSE! GET HER!! GET HER!! OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" As she screamed the card officers were running around the room chasing Noin down. Noin who was extremly agile was leaping and cavorting over the people in the courthouse. Soon she leaped right out the two doors and to who knows where. During the rucus, Une had gotten pissed and had marched herself out of the courtroom.
The courtroom took a few minutes to quiet down after the confusion, but when it did the King realized he had no witness.
"Rabbit!" the King shouted.
Quatre-bunny, who had in the confusion left his place and had gone to Trowa-gryphon and was busy deflowering him in the corner of the courthouse, screamed and shakily replied"Ah, ah, Yes, sir!?"
"Call the next witness, and for the love of God GET A ROOM!"
Quatre-bunny looked at the scroll that was on the floor next to them, "Eh, next witness is, eh, DUO MAXWELL!"


~~~~~~ Next Chapter Alice's Evidence
AAhhh That was borderline boring and borderline just plain smutty!
Duo:Crimeny, could there BE a gundam fic where quatre and trowa ARENT making it?
Quatre:Well I for one am glad I'm the one on top! Cause really, Mr. DotDotDot here isnt going to start anything.
Trowa:.......
Eh, Please review.