"Oh, Tweets," Melissa murmured, hugging me comfortingly.

I didn't want her sympathy. I didn't want her charity. I just wanted her to get the hell away from me. The humiliation was enough to kill me. I didn't need the most beautiful girl in the entire school hugging me and thinking, Poor, ugly girl, can't even get trailer trash.

I knew that's what she was thinking. Everyone was. I wanted to get away. First the song, now rejection…I didn't want to be here.

"I'll be right back," I told Melissa, braving a carefree smile for her. Quickly, I rushed out of the gymnasium and out the front doors. "Fuck," I growled. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"Toby?"

Don't let it be Chris, I pleaded to all the saints in heaven. I couldn't face him at that moment.

But it was Gordie. He was alone. I realized that he was having a smoke. He had acquired some lovely habits when he was twelve. "Hey, you okay? You look like…I don't even know what you look like, you just look really sad."

"You haven't heard?" I asked incredulously.

He shrugged and flicked his cigarette to the ground, stomping it out. "Heard what?"

"That stupid asshole Jeremy Fehrwell…" I let my hair down from whatever uppy thing Melissa had done with it and raked my hands through it.

"What did he do to you?" He suddenly appeared concerned about me. "Is he saying stuff about you?"

"He told Chris I liked him," I blurted.

"Oh." Gordie winced. "I take it you didn't want him to?"

I shook my head. "Chris doesn't like me."

"Chris adores you, Toby," Gordie assured me firmly.

All at once, all the years of pent up frustration, bitterness and sadness decided to show up. I began to cry weakly as Gordie stood before me, looking helpless and unsure.

"Hey," he said softly, hugging me awkwardly. "You've got a great friend in Chris, Toby."

I held my cousin tightly like he was my life preserver. "Not anymore, Gordie…he's going to hate me now. It's going to be so awkward…Gordie, I want to go home."

"I'll phone Mom and have her come to get you, okay?"

"No." I could tell that I was trembling. I whimpered, "I want my mama, Gordie…I wish she'd come home."

"Oh…" Gordie fell silent, not knowing what he should say to me at the moment. I guess he didn't usually have his cousin have a mental breakdown in his arms. He probably didn't have a whole lot of experience in that area. "Come on, I'll walk with you home."

"I'm not going to ruin your night, Gordie," I told him adamantly, my sobs turning into hiccups. "We're staying."

"But I don't think you should be here when you're like this," he said quietly, like he was afraid that I would get mad. "I think maybe you should just get home and go to bed."

"No, really, I'm fine," I assured him, my voice frail. "I'm sorry for crying all over you, I think I got your shirt wet."

"I forgive you." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a tissue. "I have a Kleenex…but it's used."

I sobbed out a laugh. "Thanks, but I'll live."

His arm over my shoulder defensively, he led me back into the gymnasium, and parked me in front of Melissa.

"You're sure you're okay, Toby?" he asked carefully. "You know that I'll bring you home. It's not like I'd be missing much anyway."

"Nah, I'm good," I said, wiping away a stray tear. "Thanks."

"Okay." He slapped me on the shoulder for good measure before he walked away.

Melissa gave me a concerned look. "Tweets, are you okay? Can I do anything?"

I grinned sadly. "No, I'll be fine."

"I've never pictured you as the crying type."

"Yeah," I laughed. "I went out there, depressed about Chris and wound up bawling about my parents. I never cried at their funeral, so I guess it was just a delayed reaction."

"Aww," she gushed. "You need a hug."

"No, really, I'm fine!" I backed away from her, fearing her deathly bear hug.

"I don't think so!" she crowed. "I think you need some affection!"

"Back off, Barky," I spat, giggling.

An hour later, I was quickly getting tired. Another thirty minutes remained until the dance would be over. Melissa said we had to stay until the end.

"Aww, it's my favorite Toby in the world!" Gordie exclaimed, putting his arms around my neck from behind. "Imagine meeting you here! It's a small, small world."

I hacked and whirled around. "What do you want?"

"I have to tell you a secret," he told me. "Come into the hall way with me, and I shall enlighten you."

Under the blinding glare of the overhead lights, Gordie and I leaned against the wall together. I waited for him to start talking, and when he didn't, I became impatient. "What's your secret?"

"Would you be really upset if I told you that I forgot?"

Shrugging, I shook my head. "I might kill you. But whatever."

"Wanna guess?"

"Not really," I said. "I want you to tell me. You know I have violent tendencies."

"I feel threatened," he whimpered. "My fight or flight defense mechanism is kicking in, and my gut feeling is telling me to take flight, so I'm going to leave now."

I grabbed his hair and he squealed frighteningly high. "Let go let go let go let go! I feel rippingness! My hair! Let go, you whore!"

"Tell me or you go bald."

"You have no conscience, do you?"

"I've never seen a conscience before, what does it look like? Maybe I have one and I just don't know about it."

"Chris likes you as more than a friend, he just didn't want to tell Jeremy because he thought that Jeremy was just being a retard and that you didn't like him as any more than a friend and if he told Jeremy that he liked you as more than a friend and you found out you'd laugh at him!"

"Are you for serious?" I shouted, letting of his hair and hugging him with all my strength. "Gordie Lachance, I love you to death!"

"Go tell that to Chris," Gordie teased.

"What exactly did you say to him?" I demanded, feeling high and quite pleased.

"I went up to him, and I said 'Hey, how's it going' and he said, 'it's going, what about you' and then I said 'alright, the music sucks, huh' and he said 'yeah, I've only heard one good one so far' and I said 'that's 'cause you're a pussy and you like pussy music' and then he said--"

"Get to the part where you talk about me!" I ordered sharply.

"I love torturing you though," he whined.

"Speak." I glared at him. "I'm not opposed to kicking you in the coconuts. It'll be your own fault for causing me stress."

"I went up to Chris. He asked me where I had gone. I said I went out for a smoke and I'd seen you out there, and you were kinda upset. He asked why, did Jeremy come up to you too? And I said, no, she's upset about her parents and the fact that doesn't think that you two are friends anymore. And then he said, why does SHE think that? And I said because you don't like her and she likes you. And then his eyes got all wide." He smiled. "I need a drink of water. This is a long story."

"Oh, Gordie, you know how I like hurting you when you make me mad…"

"Okay, anyway," he interrupted. "Then he said what I told you before, about what he'd told Jeremy and why he told that to Jeremy. He was worried that you'd think he was stupid for liking you. But he really does like you, Toby."

"If I believed in incest, I would kiss you!" I exclaimed.

"Thank God that you don't." He took me by the arm and led me into the gym. "You're going to talk to him now."

"Nooooooonononononononono, now I'm all blushing and giggly and stuff!" I tried to dig my heels into the ground, but linoleum is slippery.

"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" started being played.

"Hey, perfect, huh?" Gordie looked back at me and grinned feverishly. "I never thought I'd get such a rush from being a matchmaker."

Chris was standing alone, against a wall, looking down at the ground. For such an impenetrable tough guy, Chris looked awfully vulnerable and small standing by himself.

"Hey, wallflower," Gordie called. "I brought you a present." He planted me in front of Chris and beamed. "Have fun, I'll check up on you later." He ran off.

"Um, hey," Chris said, and for the first time since I'd met him, I saw him blush. "Do you want to dance?"

I nodded. "I would. Sorry if I step on you, I'm getting kinda tired."

"So am I." He put his arms around my waist again and this time it felt even more right. "Gordie said you were crying before. Are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I was just thinking about a lot of stuff all at once and it kind of upset me. You know…spin, spin, spin."

Laughing, Chris said, "I know very well." He paused. "You weren't crying about me, were you?"

"It depends, would it make you feel bad?"

"Yes."

"Then noooo…"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "It's just…I don't trust guys like that Jeremy prick. They've always kinda…had it in for me, or something, you know what I mean? I thought that he was just trying to embarrass me or something, so I lied about how I felt."

"I don't care," I told him. "Really. I don't trust him either."

"I'm still sorry."

"Stop saying that," I giggled.

"I made you cry," he protested. "You never cry, remember?"

"Yeah, well…" I searched for the right words to say. "I guess that means you really mean something to me if you can do that to me, Chris. I don't think you quite know the affect you have over me."

I could have died and been okay with it when Chris laid his head on mine. I felt utterly peaceful, like I was in the arms of an angel and nothing could hurt me as long as he was holding me.