Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from IaHB.

A/N: I'm REALLY nervous about this chapter. My source of inspiration has run dry! Hopefully it's only temporary! I just wanted to finish this story up cause I don't like unfinished stories . . . but I'm not especially confident about this chapter.

Go on . . . you have been warned . . .







Jamie pulled out the black leather journal from underneath his bed. He flipped to the first page and started reading Caitie's entry.



~Caitie's original entry~

I went to the mall today and found this journal at a store. "Living or existing?" I truly found this question to be intriguing. It was worthy of my attention. At that moment I thought to myself, do I simply exist. or am I really living?

I know you have a look of puzzlement on your face Jamie. Stop muttering "Caitie has lost it" and please continue reading.

I initially purchased this journal for myself but figured it would have more use as a gift. The purpose this little black leather book serves is simple. It will posses your inner most thoughts and ideas on how you want to live your life. Do not settle for just existing. Strive to live a life. Fill it with ideas, thoughts, songs, drawings . . . whatever you want. After it is finished, I want you to return the book to me. I will hold on to it we will see if you will successfully live your life.

Brave enough to bear your soul?

~End of journal entry~





He uncapped the pen and started writing avidly on a fresh clean page.



~Journal~

The end is near. I have been writing continuously. I can be quite an overachiever when I put my mind to it.

I reread your original entry, just incase I was getting off track.



When given the task of writing in this journal, it helped me grasp and analyze all my feelings for you. I will take a chance and I will bear my soul to you.

It is after all what you asked . . .what you challenged me to do.







What I never could muster the courage to say to you is . . .

I love you.



Caitie, I'm in love with you.

I love the way you stand up for yourself.

I love the way you are scared of horror movies.

I love the way you tuck your hair behind your ears.

I love the way you sing.

I love the way you laugh.

I love the way you stare at me with your deep eyes.

I love the way you say my name.

I love the way you snuggle against me.

I love the way you hold on to me when we're riding on my bike.

I love the way you see things most people don't bother too.

I love the way you get excited after reading a good book.

I love the way you try to play my guitar.

I love the way you worry about me.

I love the way you see past my act and see into my soul.



I love everything about you.





All I can bring myself to do is write it down. When the time is right, I will give this journal to you. Then and only then will I personally tell you how much you mean to me.



Caitie, I want to live my life with you. I want you to be a part of my life forever.

If you think that we should remain friends . . . I can accept that.

Nothing can shake our friendship together. I will not let anything or anyone come between us.

Just know that I will love you forever, and I will be here for you.



I just realize how liberating this is . . . and I have reached a conclusion.

Give me a round of applause for the mission is accomplished. . .



I am now . . .

Living rather than existing.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Jamie closed the journal and shoved it under his bed. He had done what he set out to do.

"All I have to do is give it to her," he said out loud with his head buried in his arms. Jamie knew the hardest part has yet to come.



A/N: For those who have reviewed, I would like to thank you.