The next morning, Eleila woke bright and early, probably a trait borne of her Jedi experience, even though she was exhausted. She found that the nurse had slipped in that morning, laying out some Moniron commonwear so that, if she and Obi-Wan were to go out, she would blend in and not bring attention to herself as a Jedi. However, when she went to look for her own clothing that she had brought with her, she couldn't find it. Furious, she threw down her bag and stormed out of her room. She found the nurse downstairs, lounging in a chair.
"What have you done with my clothes?" she demanded.
The nurse looked at her. "I sold them," she answered simply.
"You SOLD them?!" yelled Eleila.
"I thought Jedi weren't supposed to feel anger," said the nurse, almost taunting.
"You sold my traditional Jedi garments," said Eleila in a calmer voice, but it still dripped with fury. From her vantage point of the railing upstairs, Eleila could see the nurse's every move.
"Well, yes," answered the nurse. "I thought that, as this was an assignment, you might want to look the part."
"Of what?"
"Of a native Moniron girl," she said, as if it should be obvious. Eleila looked at her. She heard Yoda's voice in the back of her head: Show no anger over frivolities like clothing. She nearly hit herself. There was that stupid seventeen-year-old showing again. Eleila was no seventeen-year-old. She was an experienced Jedi - a Knight of the New Order. She changed her tone and thanked the nurse.
"Thank you for your consideration," she said. She then turned and went into her room to change. She sifted through the dresses.
One was yellow and covered in lace. Another was green and lined with Moniron satin, a native cloth that was among the most expensive in the galaxy. After looking at all the dresses (there were at least seven), she decided on a pink satin one near the bottom. She put it on and nearly laughed at her reflection. The dress was long, hiding her dirt-stained cloth-wrapped boots, and had a short train in the back. The straps were thin, and hung off her shoulders. The neckline was low, coming to a slight point in the middle of her chest. The pale pink fabric was plain, having (and needing) no decoration. After she had finished dressing, and was deciding what to do with her hair (in a pretty dress like that, even Jedi wouldn't leave their hair down in a matted mess), a soft knock was on her door. Eleila opened it and let in the nurse who stood outside.
"Yes?" she asked politely. The nurse smiled.
"I thought that frock would look nice on you," she said. She picked up a piece of Eleila's hair and let it fall. "We must do something with that hair."
After a while of the nurse's suggestions and Eleila's refusals, her long black hair was twisted elegantly in pieces on the back of her head. A circlet of pink stones crowned her head, and a necklace of pure gold and diamonds hung about her neck.
"Very pretty," said the nurse. "Obi-Wan should be up and about on his cane today. Twice a week, three times a day he needs to get out and test his leg a bit. You can either use the back of the land or the front. I wouldn't stray too far, he tires easily. Enjoy yourself." With that she left.
Eleila had a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why was she not behaving like a Jedi? She just couldn't understand. Something about being there . . . No, Eleila, she told herself, be quiet, and go see Obi-Wan.
She left her room, struggling to not get her train shut in the door as she closed it. She reached her friend quickly, and found him sitting up in bed, reading a newspaper from Coruscant. He looked up from the electric panel and looked at Eleila.
His first thought was, I'm still dreaming. Indeed, Eleila looked like she had in his dream. A faint smile played at his lips as he realized his leg was aching a bit. So she really could look like that. How interesting.
"Come in," he said, trying hard not to smile too broadly. Eleila, dressed up or not, was perfectly capable of injuring him more severely than he was now. He knew she had to be fighting an inner battle to just keep the dress, jewelry, and hair in place. If she had been at home in Coruscant, she would have switched back into her Jedi garb the moment she had an opportunity. Whatever had possessed her to wear the dress was beyond him.
"The nurse bought it for me," she said, explaining for his thoughts.
"Ah," he said, "Suddenly things make more sense."
Eleila sent him a slight glare. Obi-Wan simply laughed.
"You have to admit that I'm right," he said.
"I will never," she retorted.
"Suit yourself."
Eleila threw back his bedsheets. "You need to get up," she said, "It's time for your exercise." Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes slightly at her.
"I have a feeling that I'm not going to enjoy this very much," he said as Eleila headed toward his closet. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Borrowing some of your clothes," she replied.
"What?"
"Borrowing some of your clothes," she repeated. "I don't feel comfortable trekking about in the mud in a dress as beautiful as this."
Obi-Wan hobbled over to the closet door with his cane and mechanical cast and shut it. "Lift your skirt," he said. Eleila looked at him curiously.
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Lift your skirt to your ankles. I want to see something."
Eleila slowly lifted her skirt a few inches. Obi-Wan spotted the stained white leather and fabric of her boots and laughed. "Just as I suspected," he said. Eleila dropped her skirt again. "You'll be fine," he said, "It hasn't rained here in quite a long time, anyway."
Eleila helped her friend down the stairs, slowly, much to the amusement of the nurse.
"You enjoy yourselves," she said, laughing, as they hobbled out of the door.
Eleila and Obi-Wan crossed the wooden bridge that spanned the stream in front of the house and began to wander through the fields, admiring the flowers and greenery around them. Obi-Wan was tense, thinking of how his dream had encompassed Eleila by a stream in a pink satin dress . . . but it was, as he told himself repeatedly, just a dream. Little did he know that Eleila was having nearly the same inner battle.
They stopped and rested at about noon, under a solitary tree in the midst of a field of green grass, and Eleila pulled out a picnic lunch. For the fun of it, she used the Force to set out the food and such. She hadn't exercised her powers since before she left Coruscant. Obi-Wan gave her a patronizing look.
"Eleila," he said nearly warningly. In retaliation Eleila sent a grape-like fruit flying though the air toward his forehead before he could work against it. It hit him exactly where she was aiming. She laughed as he rubbed his forehead and glared at her. He, in turn, hit her with a cracker, showering her dress with crumbs. The food fight went on in that manner, each using the Force to pelt the other with food, until they both collapsed on the ground with laughter.
"The last time I had a food fight was before I became Master Ophedias's Padowan," Eleila said, laughing.
"I've never had one," said Obi-Wan.
"Now there's a shame," she said, sitting up. Obi-Wan sat up, too, and there was a fleeting moment when they were both sure that the other was staring directly into their eyes. Then, as they realized what they were doing, they quickly looked away, trying to convince themselves that they had just imagined it.
"I think we should go back," said Eleila, gathering the picnic things. She then helped Obi-Wan to his feet and they hobbled together back to his house.
Once Obi-Wan was safely back in his bed (much to his protests), Eleila returned to her room and took out her journal.
It had been Master Ophedias that had given her the journal in the first place, as an outlet for her feelings. She had been nine at the time, and a newly selected Padowan. She had always had trouble controling her feelings, even though she had been in the Jedi program since she was a year old. It was thick, and loose-leaf pages had been placed inside of it. It held most of her memories and most of her feelings. She had often flipped through it's pages, recalling some of her earlier days that she could barely remember without the aid of her young words.
Now she picked up a pen and began to fill in another entry. She wrote down everything about how she was feeling, searching for words to describe it.
I feel as if there were butterflies in my stomach when I'm near him. My palms tend to sweat, and I mix up my words. I struggle to keep still if I sit near him. I have dreams about him, with feelings I don't understand. I've tried to tell myself that it is nothing, but in the last dream, Obi-Wan used a word that, before now, has had no meaning, only that to harbor it is forbidden: love. I do not wish to admit it to myself, but there is only one way to describe everything I have felt since even before I left Coruscant. That word is the same that he used in my dream. I am having feelings of love. Not the kind that a Padowan has for a Master, that of obedience and loyalty, but another kind. I think this is what they call . . . falling in love.
She snapped her journal closed, barely even aware of what she had been writing. Strangely, she didn't want to tear the page from the book and dispose of it. She stowed it carefully in her bag, her hand brushing the spare lightsaber she had brought with her. A lightsaber. The weapon of the Jedi. Her lightsaber. Her weapon. Master Yoda's words came back to her.
"You must be careful. Do not let your feelings -"
"Betray me," she finished out loud. She had replied that she had no desire to love. But . . . what if she did? What if, against her will, she had fallen in love with Obi-Wan? What then? She certainly wouldn't be in favor with the council anymore. Only Anakin could fall in love, because he was the chosen one. What if she loved him, but no one knew? She would be free to feel anything if no one ever found out. She was strong enough to not let her feelings get in the way of her ability to function as a Jedi, and she would never be tempted to the Dark Side. Eleila smiled to herself. A great weight had just been lifted from her. She was free. The council could never do anything about it, because they would never know. Well, Yoda would know, but Yoda would keep it a secret. She smiled more broadly. Whether or not she really did love Obi-Wan, she was free to find out for herself.
A clanging of a pot downstairs told her that the nurse was preparing dinner. More a housemaid than a nurse, thought Eleila, nearly laughing. At least she wasn't required to cook. That would be a disaster. Her talents as a Jedi certainly didn't carry over to the kitchen. A cry a few moments later called her to dinner. She smiled again to herself as she went to get her love, her Obi-Wan.
