By Stew Pid,
Rating: Should be okay for anyone.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything. Just the Stew Pid stuff.
(Gilmore residence- Lorelai on the phone)
Lorelai: So you got there okay and everything's fine?…No one mistook Paris for a terrorist?
Rory: (in Washington hotel room) No they all did, but when they saw her terrorizing was limited to me, they settled down and decided not to push their luck. Oh she's coming, change the subject.
Lorelai: So have you met any people yet?
Rory: A few. None worth mentioning yet, although I think Paris might be in for a summer romance in the nation's capitol.
Paris: If you want to survive these six weeks, don't ever repeat that.
Rory: Okay, bad subject. Change again.
Lorelai: What are your plans for tonight?
Rory: Well, they have this party planned to get to know the other people here. Because, you see, I always find the best way to get to know people is at a party.
Lorelai: Of course. Is there any other way to have a deep conversation than in the setting of loud music while you and the other person are jumping up and down to stupid boy band beats?
Rory: Well, if we were going for ideal, we might even add those annoying blinking lights that stun your sense of vision. So what are you going to do tonight?
Lorelai: Well, I have big plans for this night. I met this great guy with a Harley who does tattoos and he's going to do me my Mel Brooks tattoo on my butt and then we're going bar hopping, stopping by Kirk's renting zillions of movies, and easing our hangover's with Luke's coffee before we head back home to spend a night with Ben and Jerry on the couch.
Rory: Sounds like a good time… So have you heard from Dad?
Lorelai: No, honey, I'm sorry.
Rory: It's okay. I'm just worried that he's not calling because he thinks I'm angry.
Lorelai: I'm sure he wouldn't think that. He knows you.
Rory: Yeah, but when we were talking before he found out about Sherry, I told him that we had been waiting for you two to get back together for along time and we take disappointment very hard.
Lorelai: Oh. I get it. Well if he calls I'll make sure to tell him that you are not angry.
Rory: Okay, well, I have to get going now. I have to call Dean and Lane before we have the introductory session here.
Lorelai: Okay, well take care. I miss you already.
Rory: Me too. Say hi to the Harley man for me.
Lorelai: You got it.
(Lorelai hangs up and looks around the empty silent house.)
Lorelai: (to herself) No Rory. No Sookie. What is a girl to do?
(she picks up her keys and heads out the door)
(At Luke's, as Lorelai walks in)
Taylor: Now Luke, because Kirk's proposal took longer than we thought, we were not able to discuss this issue at the town meeting, but it is of great concern to all of us here. You remember what happened the last time he was here. There was theft, property damage, economic devastation, personal injury, must I continue the list?
Luke: You don't even have to continue talking.
Taylor: Now I understand your honorable intentions the first time to help out the family, but in this case, Jess was not sent to you, and you know now the type of character he is. I consider it a betrayal to the community of Stars Hollow that you should proceed to accept him back here. I demand an explanation and if the explanation is not suitable enough, I tell you, you will be losing a lot of loyal patrons here. Why I don't see why anyone here should be loyal to you when you have proven yourself to be the Benedict Arnold of Stars Hollow.
Luke: Are you finished now?
Taylor: Now would be the appropriate time for your explanation.
Luke: Let me explain this. I run a business here. I have customers who have not been attended to. You are still here. You are not a customer. I should not be wasting any more time with you.
(Jess comes down and pours Lorelai her coffee)
Taylor: You! I don't know why you are back here but if your uncle is not going to do anything about you, you can rest assured I am going to be watching you like a hawk.
Lorelai: I thought Miss Patty already had that job covered in Stars Hollow.
Taylor: I've got my eye on you too, missy. Who knows what trouble you'll be getting into without your better half?
Lorelai: That's where we have you fooled, Taylor. Rory is actually the mastermind behind the Gilmore crime duo.
(Taylor grunts and walks out of Luke's glaring at Jess warningly.)
Luke: So what will it be?
Lorelai: Mm. I think two burgers with French fries and a side of mash should do it.
Jess: I'm taking my break now.
Luke: You can't take it now.
Jess: I haven't had one all day. I'm about to call my union representative.
Luke: You didn't show up this morning, though, remember. Fine, whatever. Be back in ten.
(Jess leaves)
Lorelai: You've been working him awfully hard.
Luke: I have to keep him where I can see him. It's just for a while until Taylor has calmed down and everyone isn't so worried anymore.
Lorelai: I think everyone except Taylor is already used to him.
(Dean walks in)
Lorelai: Almost everyone.
Dean: Hey!
Lorelai: Hey, Dean! Did you hear from Rory?
Dean: Yeah, she called.
Lorelai: Good. So, how are you holding up?
Dean: Okay, I guess. I mean it's the first day. I've been a few days without seeing her before.
Lorelai: Right. Well that's good.
Dean: Rory told me I should check up on you.
Lorelai: Well that's just sad.
Dean: She told Lane to check up on me, so you're not alone.
Lorelai: Who's checking up on Lane?
Dean: I think Mrs. Kim always has that covered.
Lorelai: True. So what are you doing this evening?
Dean: My sister has a recital.
Lorelai: Oh, well tell her I said, 'break a leg.'
Dean: I will. So I better get going now. I'll see you around.
Lorelai: Sure thing.
(Dean leaves)
Luke: So everything's all right with Rory?
Lorelai: Yeah, she got in fine. She's already gotten settled. They're having introductions and a party tonight, so it should be fun. By the way, thanks for the cookies.
Luke: What cookies?
Lorelai: The cookies you sent for the plane ride.
Luke: When did I do that?
Lorelai: Last night, you sent them with …wait, you didn't send any cookies last night, did you?
Luke: Not that I remember. I would have if I had thought of it, but I didn't. So who did send the cookies?
Lorelai: Um…then I guess they were from her dad.
Luke: So what are your plans for tonight?
Lorelai: Well, that depends. Do you have plans for tonight?
Luke: Yeah. I'm closing up here, catching the end of the ball game, and going to bed early.
Lorelai: How exciting, Grandpa Lucas. Why don't you come over? I'm going to rent zillions of movie and buy tons of candy and you can bring that nasty healthy food you like and we can do each other's hair and tell stories about mean ex-boyfriends and put cream on our faces and wax on our legs. It'll be fun.
Luke: As frightening as that sounds, I think I'm going to stick to my former plans.
Lorelai: Please, pretty please. The house is spooky without Rory. We can throw a party. You can invite Bert. We can…
Luke: All right, all right. I'll go. Jess can close up since he bailed this morning.
Lorelai: What happened to him?
Luke: I don't know. So far I haven't heard of anything stolen or anyone murdered or anything. I'm hoping maybe he decided to go to school early.
Lorelai: How's that going by the way?
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Summer school.
Luke: Oh well, I don't know. I'm not one to call up school's checking on grades and attendance and all. I see him with his books more. He seems to be doing some form of homework.
Lorelai: Well that's good. You might want to try communicating with him more often. That helps to sort out the 'seem's and 'some's so you get something more definitive.
Luke: Look, he's not the great communicator either. We have an understanding. He stays out of trouble and he stays here. The minute I hear he's been up to something, he's out. Now I'm trying to give him a shot, and so I'm not going to look to hear things. But if and when it happens, it happens.
Lorelai: Sounds like a plan.
Luke: So I'll leave you to your meal and I'll see you later.
Lorelai: You bet.
(In Washington- Rory and Paris walk into a large auditorium. Other kids are starting to come in through several doors. A young girl is passing out name tags.)
Girl: Please put your name, year, and high school on the name tags.
Paris: Why not also put a short biography and your favorite hobbies on it too?
Rory: What are you talking about?
Paris: The name tag. I mean it was invented to limit the human capacity for speech, make us more and more like inanimate objects by placing a label on us so that we look like items on supermarket shelves.
Rory: The thing is that even with a name tag, people still ask you what your name is. I think it's purpose is for when you forget because you've spent an entire day finding out hundreds of names and you can no longer match them to faces. It spares you the embarrassment of having to repeatedly ask someone what their name is when they've told you and everybody else a hundred times. You just read it off the tag and pretend you knew it from when they told you the first time.
Guy: Hey, how are you? What's your name?
Rory: I'm Rory. What's your name?
Guy: Pete.
Rory: As it says on your name tag.
Pete: I was thinking about writing Greg to mess with those people who use name tags as an excuse to never have to speak.
Paris: Thank you!
Pete: So what's your real name?
Paris: Well, it really is Paris.
Pete: Didn't have the courage to do it either, huh? Paris is an unusual name. You could have written Frenchie and made a Grease joke of it.
Paris: (pulling Rory away) Yeah. Right. Talk to you later Greg.
Rory: Pete.
Paris: Whatever.
Rory: What is wrong with you? He was trying to talk to you.
Paris: And he used a Grease reference? No, the last thing we need to do is start associating ourselves with the freaks.
Rory: I think I'm a little too late for that.
(Lorelai leaving the video store, sees Jess)
Lorelai: Hey Jess.
Jess: Ah, Miss Gilmore. I'd love to stay and chat but my ten minutes were up ten minutes ago, and…
Lorelai: Don't worry, Luke already has a plan to get you back. Might as well earn it.
Jess: I see. So what's his plan?
Lorelai: You're closing up for him.
Jess: I was expecting worse.
Lorelai: So listen, um, I was wondering. See I asked Luke about your delivery the other day and he didn't know anything about it.
Jess: The poor guy's loosing his mind.
Lorelai: You expect me to believe that.
Jess: I don't know. My expectations have been off today.
Lorelai: Why did you do it? And why did you lie and say Luke sent it? And don't give me any bull.
Jess: Look, Miss Gilmore. It's no big deal. Rory's been nice to me. I thought I'd return the favor, but I didn't want that kind of stuff in my reputation since I don't plan on making it a habit. You don't have to read any more into it. Now I have to get back so Luke can tell me to close up.
(Gilmore Residence, some days later)
Luke: Are we going to make a habit of these nights?
Lorelai: Just 'til Sookie comes back from her honeymoon. Then I dump you, but Bert can stay. I like Bert.
Luke: Well, I have to say, Jess hasn't been doing much to deserve the punishment anymore, so I don't know.
Lorelai: Make it into a compliment. You can say, Jess, you've done such a fine job of closing up the diner that I think I'm going to make it your permanent job. How would you like that?
Luke: I think I know how he would like that. So have you heard from Rory?
Lorelai: She's okay. They're keeping those kids busy.
Luke: Is she having a good time?
Lorelai: An okay time. Hey, since you've missed the baseball games this whole week, I thought we could watch For Love of the Game. That way you get to watch baseball and I get to see Kevin Costner.
Luke: You like Kevin Costner?
Lorelai: Hey, he's got a nice rear end there.
Luke: Did you forget I'm not Sookie?
Lorelai: Actually, you're looking more like her each day. After we do your hair tonight and I give you a manicure, you'll be a great stand-in.
Luke: You keep up with that stuff and I'm leaving and I'm taking Bert with me.
Lorelai: Okay. Okay. I'll stop.
Luke: Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor.
Lorelai: Sure, what's up.
Luke: Well, I need you to ask Rory to do me a favor.
Lorelai: And what would that be?
Luke: Well, I know she's busy and she's in Washington and all, but I was wondering if she could give Jess a call one of these days. She was really his only friend here, and I know he's got to be bored out of his mind since he hasn't been terrorizing the neighborhood. I also kind of think he's been waiting for her to call. I mean, he's been paying a lot of attention to the phone, asking about messages, and I know he's not waiting for his mom to call. So if she has a few spare minutes one of these days and she wouldn't mind giving him a call, just to say how are you or something—
Lorelai: Well, I don't know, Luke. If she hasn't called there might be a reason.
Luke: What kind of reason?
Lorelai: I don't know. Any kind of reason. And if I told her that, then she'd feel pressured to call even when she probably really can't, and it would put her in a tough situation.
Luke: Yeah. You're right.
Lorelai: I am?
Luke: Yeah. I just thought it would be good for Jess, but if it's not good for Rory, I don't want to pressure her.
(the phone rings)
Lorelai: Hello.
Christopher: Hey Lorelai. Um, how are you?
Lorelai: Okay, how are you?
Christopher: Okay.
Lorelai: And Sherry?
Christopher: She's doing okay too. We're, um, trying to work things out.
Lorelai: That's good.
Christopher: So how's Rory?
Lorelai: She's in Washington. She left you a message.
Christopher: Yeah I know. I just couldn't face her, Lor. I mean, I just didn't know how. She's probably thinking I'm leaving her for the other kid.
Lorelai: Probably. But she's not mad at you. And I think she's hurt you didn't call her before she left.
Christopher: Geez, how am I going to be a good father to this kid when I've screwed up so much with my first?
Lorelai: You didn't screw up, Chris. She loves you.
Christopher: I lover her too. Would you tell her that?
Lorelai: I will for now, but you're going to have to eventually tell her yourself.
Christopher: I will. I love you too, Lorelai. I am so sorry about all of this.
Lorelai: Me too. I'd love to stay and chat, but I have company. So take care of yourself, and Sherry, and I'll talk to you later.
Christopher: Thanks. You take care too.
(hangs up)
Luke: You know, I just remembered that Caesar was leaving early today so Jess is probably going to need my help closing up.
Lorelai: Luke, you don't have to go.
Luke: But I should.
Lorelai: No, you shouldn't. I haven't even started your manicure.
Luke: I'm sorry, Lorelai.
Lorelai: About what?
Luke: Well I heard what happened with you and Christopher.
Lorelai: Ah.
Luke: You know, I've been there…I mean, I've never had a woman leave me because another man was carrying her child, but you know about Rachel…I mean, I've been in the place where you are dumped by a person you loved—well , that didn't come out right, but what I'm saying is if you need to talk about it or anything…
Lorelai: Thanks, Luke…So let's start this movie, shall we?
Luke: Sure, why not.
Lorelai: (She goes to put the tape in and stops midway) You know what I worry about?
Luke: The VCR is going to eat your hand when you try to put in the tape?
Lorelai: What? No. I mean, with this whole thing. I mean, Christopher was saying how he's afraid Rory is going to think he's dumping her for this other kid. She herself had told me that she told him before the whole Sherry thing happened that she had been waiting for this for a long time and took disappointment very badly. I mean, when I talked to her, she seemed okay. You know, she's strong. But she did say she worried she might get jealous of the baby and now I'm just thinking, what if underneath it all she's really hurting inside. And then, this is all my fault. I mean, she wouldn't have felt dumped if I hadn't tried to get back with Christopher. I mean, we knew it was crazy. And then I think about Max, and what a disappointment that must have been, not to mention the difficult situation it must have been at school. I mean, all my failed relationships affect her so much. She's had to suffer for all of my mistakes, and through it all she has matured so much and I haven't learned one bit. I keep making these same stupid decisions over and over again.
Luke: You can stop right there. (He sits her down) None of this is your fault. If you would have stopped to listen to yourself, you would have heard something else, that Rory had been waiting for this. If it had all worked out, your decision would have made her happy. It's not your fault it didn't. It's just life. And life is about choices and we have to make them, and to every choice there are good and bad consequences. It's what we make of those choices and how we deal with those consequences that makes us who we are and you have always made the best of your choices, and that is why Rory is so strong. You did a good job.
Lorelai: Wow Luke. I never took you for the Dr. Joyce Brothers type. Thank you. I guess Rory's right. We don't take disappointment well. It's just scary, you know. I mean, I couldn't marry Max because I still love Chris, and I can't marry Chris because he's probably going to marry Sherry. And I mean, Rory is only away for six weeks and I don't know what I'm going to do. What about when she goes to college, grows up and moves out on her own? So I'm staring down at my future and it's just looking very lonely.
Luke: You know, I've been there too. You're not alone.
Lorelai: It seems we've been to a lot of the same places.
Luke: Yeah. I guess we have.
(Lorelai gets up and puts on the movie)
(Another day, some days later)
(Luke is getting ready to leave. He and Lorelai at the door)
Lorelai: So, Sookie comes back tomorrow so I won't be bugging you as much. Thanks for coming over all the time.
Luke: Don't worry, you're gonna owe me.
Lorelai: Oh come on. It wasn't that bad.
Luke: But pretty close.
(Jess approaches)
Jess: What'd you two watch tonight.
Lorelai: Analyze This.
Jess: Uncle Luke, no more chick flicks?
Lorelai: We never watched chick flicks.
Jess: For Love of the Game
Lorelai: That is not a chick flick.
Luke: It is a chick flick. It's a chick flick that tries to lure men with a baseball subplot.
Lorelai: Okay, so it is a chick flick. Boy, you're no Sookie.
Jess: There's so much I could say here, I don't know which to pick.
Luke: What are you doing here?
Jess: Just passing through. Going for a walk.
Luke: Well, I'm heading back. Don't stay out too long. Good night, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Good night.
(Luke leaves)
Lorelai: Well, good night, Jess.
Jess: Actually, Miss Gilmore, I need a favor.
Lorelai: What's wrong?
Jess: Well, I actually have to do my homework now and I've recently discovered that some assignments need to be typed. Luke's typewriter is about as old as the diner, and we don't have a computer, so I was wondering if I could use yours. I've already written it out. It's just a matter of typing it up, which wouldn't be as long as typing while I was thinking up what I was going to write. I brought coffee and brownies as a substitute for the monetary fee.
Lorelai: Well, we usually charge 300 bucks. How many brownies did you bring?
Jess: Six.
Lorelai: That should cover it. Does Luke know about all this food you're exporting from the diner?
Jess: If your question is whether or not I am stealing this from Luke, no I am not. It's all paid for.
Lorelai: Then I won't feel guilty eating it. So the computer's in Rory's room. You do know how to work a computer?
Jess: I believe this is the 21st century.
Lorelai: Well Luke doesn't know how to work a computer so well.
Jess: That's because Luke is not in the 21st century.
Lorelai: No he is not. So why didn't you tell him?
Jess: About what?
Lorelai: About the favor you needed.
Jess: He would have told me not to bother you so late, that the typewriter was a perfectly good typewriter, and all that. I'll tell him later.
Lorelai: Yeah, he definitely would have given you the value of using a typewriter speech.
Jess: So…may I?
Lorelai: Oh, go right ahead.
(In Washington)
Paris: I can't wait to go to the White House tomorrow. Bring your camera. The first Franklin when we start the new year is going to be about this. The home of our nation's leaders. Men have left these walls in victory and shame. This is a place that has seen our presidents' greatest triumphs and their lowest scandals…
Rory: Paris, we're not writing the article now.
Paris: (teasing) What's wrong, Rory? Missing mommy?
Rory: There's nothing wrong with missing home, Paris.
Paris: That's because your life is perfect.
Rory: No it isn't.
Paris: Please. You and you mother have a great relationship. You have your perfect boyfriend and your perfect best friend. You're smart and funny and everybody likes you. Whereas for me, this is the most liberated I've felt in my entire life.
Rory: I take it you and Phil are getting along very well.
Paris: (blushing) I wasn't talking about Phil.
Rory: Not solely about him, but he was part of it, wasn't he?
Paris: I don't have to tell you anything about my personal life, and you shouldn't assume that you know anything about it.
Rory: You're right, and you shouldn't assume you know anything about my personal life either, because it's not perfect.
Paris: Fine.
(Paris goes into the bathroom. Rory picks up the phone)
Lorelai: Hello.
Rory: Hey mom, it's me.
Lorelai: Hi sweetie. How are you?
Rory: Okay. We just got in after a long day.
Lorelai: So I hear you're going to the White House tomorrow, but you're not excited.
Rory: Funny, I never thought Dean and Lane were part of the Stars Hollow gossip chain.
Lorelai: Well, the three of us have created an All-about-Rory chain. So what's up?
Rory: Nothing. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing. I didn't call you this morning and Dean did not have much information on you yet.
Lorelai: Oh well, the information's pretty much the same as the other nights. Watched movies with Luke. But Sookie's coming back tomorrow so I'll be hanging out with her.
Rory: How did her honeymoon go?
Lorelai: Great. In fact, she was only calling the inn every two hours lately.
Rory: Wow.
Lorelai: Yeah. So, you sound bored.
Rory: I'm just tired.
Lorelai: So you're having a good time? (Jess comes out of Rory's room.)
Jess: Miss Gilmore, mind if I switch the coffee and brownies to your containers because you know how Luke gets when his thermos and bowls are missing, or maybe you don't, but it's really bad, not a pretty sight.
(Lorelai signals an okay. Jess proceeds to put the brownies on a plate and the coffee in a coffee pot.)
Rory: Not as good a time as Paris, but it's going okay. I mean, the people are nice. We go for a lot of workshops and activities, so they keep us busy.
Lorelai: So what's up with Paris?
Jess: Thanks for letting me use your computer. I'll let myself out.
Lorelai: You're welcome. Bye. (Jess waves and leaves)
Rory: Luke's still there?
Lorelai: No.
Rory: So who was that you were talking to? Harley man?
Lorelai: No, um, it was Jess.
Rory: Jess was there?
Lorelai: That's what I said.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Well, he's going to summer school now and is doing homework. He had something that needed to be typed and needed to use your computer. He bribed me with coffee and brownies, so I said okay. I hope it's okay with you.
Rory: Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't it be?
Lorelai: Well, I don't know. I just thought maybe you were having problems with Jess that you weren't discussing with me. I mean, you were weird with him before you left and you haven't called him since you've been gone…
Rory: How do you know I haven't called him?
Lorelai: Well, Luke told me.
Rory: Luke was complaining about me not calling Jess?
Lorelai: No, he wasn't complaining. He knows you're busy. He asked me to ask you to call Jess because he said you're Jess' only friend in Stars Hollow and he's been bored since he hasn't been able to cause trouble around the neighborhood.
Rory: And why didn't you tell me this?
Lorelai: Well I told him that if you hadn't called just there must be a reason and I didn't want to ask you to because then you'd feel pressured to do so and it might put you in a difficult situation. So he agreed that I should not ask you to call.
Rory: I would have called him. I just…I've been busy…and well…you know…I know Jess is busy too…and I didn't think he'd want me to call…
Lorelai: What about Dean?
Rory: What about Dean?
Lorelai: Is he okay with you calling Jess?
Rory: Well, he's okay with me calling Lane.
Lorelai: But Jess is not Lane.
Rory: They're both friends.
Lorelai: I'm not so sure.
Rory: Mom, I'm not going to get into this with you. I told you I don't have feelings for Jess.
Lorelai: Even if you don't, he has feelings for you.
Rory: How do you figure?
Lorelai: Oh come on Rory, it's obvious. You have to be the only one that doesn't see it. Why would he come back to Stars Hollow?
Rory: I don't know but how is it a given that I had something to do with it.
Lorelai: Rory, Luke knew nothing about the cookies. They were from Jess. He's been waiting for you to call. He obviously likes you.
Rory: Everything you've said just proves he's a friend.
Lorelai: Rory, if you don't want to see it, fine but don't insult my intelligence.
Rory: (after a moment of silence) Can we just change the subject?
Lorelai: Yeah. So what's up with Paris?
Rory: She's having a good time. Her summer romance is blossoming. She's writing an article about the triumphs and scandals in the White House. She's feeling liberated.
Lorelai: More power to her.
Rory: Yeah. So I called dad.
Lorelai: Good, good. How did it go?
Rory: Well, he wasn't there but I left him a message. I told him I wasn't angry and I loved him, so hopefully he'll call back.
Lorelai: I'm sure he will.
Rory: Yeah. So, I have to get some sleep. We have an early day tomorrow.
Lorelai: Yeah. If you see Bush, ask him how Chad's doing?
Rory: Okay. And tell Sookie I said hi and that I'll swap pictures with her when I get back.
Lorelai: Will do. Bye sweetie.
Rory: Bye mom.
(hangs up)
Paris: I thought we had discussed the whole thing about our personal lives.
Rory: My mom asked how you were doing. I gave her generic facts, that's all.
Paris: You told her my summer romance is blossoming.
Rory: Which is true.
Paris: Phil and I are just friends.
Rory: (the familiarity of the words strikes her) Fine. (She sighs and drops lifelessly onto the bed)
Paris: Look, this girl talk isn't my thing, but something is affecting your competence on this trip and I won't have it ruin our day at the White House, so let's just talk about it so you can get it out of your system and move on.
Rory: I don't know what you're talking about.
Paris: Don't insult my intelligence. Something is bothering you and its keeping you from enjoying this trip, so just spit it out, stop festering, and let's go to the White House in good spirits.
Rory: Okay, I do have a lot of things on my mind, but they're not affecting my competence. I have done everything I was supposed to do, with all the precision and energy I always give to my work. Just because I'm not jumping out of my skin to see the White House does not mean I'm festering.
Paris: Fine. Have it your way. But let me just say that I have been humble enough to let down my guard in front of you a number of times and allow you to be a friend to me. I just offered you the chance to let me be a friend to you. I guess you don't feel you need or want my friendship, and that's fine, but don't ever again think that I need yours.
Rory: Paris, it's not that I don't need or want your friendship. It's just…I just…I kissed Jess. I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I've done anything lately. I missed my mom's graduation because I went to go see him in New York and got stuck on the bus coming back. This isn't me. And I didn't mean to kiss him. I love Dean. So why did I kiss him? And why can't I stop thinking about him? And I have all these feelings inside of me that I'm not supposed to have. I feel jealous of a baby that isn't even born. I feel hurt that my dad is doing the right thing. I should be happy for him and Sherry. (She looks up and sees Paris' confused look). Sherry was my father's girlfriend, but they were having problems and were breaking up and he was going to get back with my mom and we were going to be a family, (she takes a breath) but then he found out that Sherry is pregnant with his baby and he didn't want to run away again from his child, so he was going to go back to her, but he was still running away from one of his children, from me. And it's selfish and I'm not supposed to feel this way. And it was selfish of me to kiss Jess and then tell him that it meant nothing, to forget about it, and then continue a normal relationship with Dean like nothing happened. And it's selfish of me not to call Jess when I'm his only friend in Stars Hollow just because I don't know how to face him any more. And it's selfish of me to talk and laugh with Dean while I'm thinking about Jess. And it was selfish of me to come here to run away from my problems and just bring them along and ruin your time.
Paris: Well, you haven't ruined my time. Look, I don't really know what to say. I've never been good with giving advice beyond academic advice. But you can't talk about how you should and shouldn't feel. The only way you should feel is the way you do. You're feeling guilty about lying to everyone, but the only reason you're lying to other people is because you're lying to yourself. To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. Feel what you have to feel. Be honest about your feelings to yourself, and you can be honest about them with others. You're lucky enough that your parents love you, and I think if you were honest with them, they would respect your feelings and help you to deal with them. But you have to let these feelings take their course, because they're real, and eventually you'll find yourself feeling the way you think you should feel. And about Dean and Jess, again, be honest with yourself and then you'll know what you have to do. Am I making any sense?
Rory: Perfect sense.
Paris: Well, we have to be up early tomorrow. I'm going to bed.
Rory: Yeah, me too. Thank you, Paris. You're a good friend.
Paris: Let's not do this again, okay? (Rory nods)
(Gilmore Residence)
(Phone Rings)
Lorelai: Hello.
Luke: Hey, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Can't get enough of me, can you?
Luke: Listen, Jess told me the real reason he dropped by. I just wanted to thank you.
Lorelai: Well, you could have thanked me in the morning.
Luke: Did I wake you?
Lorelai: Nah. I've had so much coffee I won't be able to sleep for a few hours.
Luke: And I'm sure the brownies didn't help.
Lorelai: That's right. I forgot about the brownies. I may not be able to sleep at all tonight.
Luke: Yeah. So listen, I was thinking. I know you're going to be bugging Sookie now that she's coming back tomorrow, but I was thinking, since she's just married and all, she won't be able to hang out with you every day, so you know, whenever you want, I wouldn't mind covering for Sookie again.
Lorelai: That's very sweet of you, Luke.
Luke: I'm not saying it's not a sacrifice. I mean the sight of all that garbage you eat alone turns my stomach, but I was thinking about what you said, about the future looking lonely, and I figured if we're both going to be alone, we might as well be alone together.
Lorelai: Well, it's better than being alone alone.
Luke: Right. That's what I meant.
Lorelai: Yeah. I got that.
Luke: Right. So, I'll see you tomorrow.
Lorelai: You're not going to punish me for the coffee and brownies, right? Because it's really Jess' fault.
Luke: Right, but for your own good, I'm not giving you coffee tomorrow.
Lorelai: Fine, but I'm sure Jess will have to use the computer again tomorrow.
Luke: No. I told him it was fine this once, but there's a value to knowing how to use a typewriter—
Lorelai: Okay, you don't have to repeat the speech. I've heard it before.
Luke: Fine. Good night then.
Lorelai: Bye.
(Luke hangs up. Jess comes in.)
Luke: Where have you been?
Jess: About. Any messages?
Luke: No. Are you expecting a call?
Jess: Not really.
Luke: Well you keep asking about messages.
Jess: That doesn't mean I'm expecting any. I could be expecting to hear you say no.
Luke: Are you?
Jess: Am I what?
Luke: Expecting me to say no.
Jess: You already said no.
Luke: Did you expect that?
Jess: Yeah.
Luke: Why?
Jess: Who would call?
Luke: I don't know. Who would call?
Jess: No one.
Luke: Then why do you ask?
Jess: To see if someone might surprise me.
Luke: Who's the someone?
Jess: Anyone. Look, as much as I enjoy these games of 20 questions, I'm tired and I have classes tomorrow, and I'd like to get some sleep.
Luke: Why don't you just say you're expecting Rory to call?
Jess: Because I don't expect Rory to call, just like I don't expect Liz to call, just like I didn't expect you to call.
Luke: But I did call.
Jess: I know.
(Silence)
Jess: Well I'm going to bed.
Luke: Yeah, me too.
(In Washington. Rory and Paris are sleeping. Rory's alarm goes off at two in the morning. She quickly shuts it off and Paris groans. Rory sits up and waits to make sure Paris is asleep. She picks up the phone and dials.
(Jess is asleep, fully clothed with a book on his abdomen, and wakes up to the sound of the phone ringing. He picks up)
Jess: Hello.
Rory: Hey Jess. It's me, Rory.
Jess: Fine time to be calling.
Rory: What are you talking about? It's 4 o' clock in the afternoon here.
Jess: Nice try.
Rory: Well, I wanted to call at a time I was sure you'd be in. Did I wake you?
Jess: No, you're right. I just got in a little while ago. So, how have you been?
Rory: Okay. How about you?
Jess: Okay. How's Hemingway?
Rory: He sends his regards.
Jess: So what are you doing up at this time? Were you at one of those wild intern parties?
Rory: Shh. Don't tell anyone. Once it spreads in Stars Hollow, it'll hit the national news. Actually, I was asleep.
Jess: And you had a nightmare about giant white wigs trying to get on your head so you called the only person who you knew would be up.
Rory: Right. So here we are.
Jess: Here we are.
Rory: So what are you reading lately?
Jess: Well, I reread To the Lighthouse for class to write a paper. I'm rereading it now for myself.
Rory: Ah. Yeah, my mom told me you were at the house using the computer.
Jess: I paid for the service.
Rory: You overpaid. Coffee and brownies.
Jess: Well, your mother is a fierce business woman. I couldn't haggle a better deal.
Rory: So what was your paper about?
Jess: To reach R.
Rory: Ah. Mr. Ramsay.
Jess: It's not just Mr. Ramsay. It's everyone. We all have that R we're trying to reach.
Rory: Sounds interesting.
Jess: It wasn't. So how's Washington?
Rory: Okay, I guess. The people are nice. Lots of things to do. Tomorrow we're going to the White House.
Jess: Sounds like a whole lot of fun.
Rory: It isn't.
Jess: Didn't think so.
Rory: Anything interesting going on in Stars Hollow?
Jess: The Score just hit the video store.
Rory: I didn't see it, but I love Edward Norton.
Jess: Taylor's got a sale on lima beans.
Rory: Better stock up. Lima beans are good for you.
Jess: And I think your boyfriend grew another inch.
Rory: Jess.
Jess: Hey, I got that from the paper.
Rory: So anyway, are you terribly bored now that you're not stealing gnomes and staging fake murder scenes.
Jess: I've been keeping busy.
Rory: Well, that's good. Listen, I wanted to ask you. What did you mean by the note?
Jess: What note?
Rory: (sighs, exasperated) "I'm not sorry."
Jess: Oh right. Exactly what it says.
Rory: What aren't you sorry about?
Jess: I'm not sorry about anything.
Rory: And you felt the need to say that because…
Jess: Because I seemed to recall telling you I was sorry about something, but I'm not. I didn't do anything.
Rory: Right. So why didn't you just tell me that?
Jess: Well, you haven't seemed to want to talk to me.
Rory: Jess, um, I'm sorry….I…. I've just been really busy. I had a lot on my mind.
Jess: Like what?
Rory: Well…like…like my father leaving my mom and me again.
Jess: Been there. You want to talk about it.
Rory: No. Paris actually shared with me some great words of wisdom.
Jess: Paris? The Beat-hater? Wisdom?
Rory: She has her moments.
Jess: Pray, share this wisdom.
Rory: Well, she quoted Shakespeare. To thine own self be true. She said I had to be honest with myself first, and allow myself to feel what I'm feeling.
Jess: The Shakespeare's rather trite.
Rory: Wisdom can't be trite.
Jess: It's a platitude.
Rory: How can you call anything from Hamlet a platitude?
Jess: Polonius said it.
Rory: Well, that's true. But it's still wise. Well, it's late. I have to get up early tomorrow.
Jess: Yeah, me too.
Rory: Good night.
Jess: You too. And Rory…
Rory: Yeah.
Jess: Thanks for calling.
Rory: Sorry it took so long.
Jess: Enjoy the White House.
Rory: Enjoy the Lighthouse.
The End
