By: Stew Pid,

Rating: It's all good.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything. Just the Stew Pid stuff.

(Independence Inn. Lorelai is trying to tie a blown balloon.)

Lorelai: Michel, could you tie this for me.

Michel: Do not put that balloon anywhere near me.

Lorelai: Please. For some reason I can't tie it.

Michel: It's too big. It's going to pop and I will have a heart attack and die from the sound of it. Now get it away from me.

Lorelai: As soon as you tie it you will never have to see it again.

Michel: What about you? Will I ever have to see you again?

Lorelai: Not for about another ten minutes.

Michel: Fine. Give me your stupid balloon.

(takes the balloon and tries to tie it. It pops and Michel screams. He recovers and gives Lorelai a nasty look.)

Lorelai: Make that 20 minutes. (She runs off)

(Washington)

Paris: Wake up, Rory! We have to go.

Rory: What time is it?

Paris: It's five-thirty.

Rory: What?

Paris: Yes. Hurry up.

Rory: What happened?

Paris: I went back to sleep after my alarm went off figuring you would be waking me up ten minutes later, but you didn't. You must have slept past your alarm and I got up just fifteen minutes ago, and now we're running late. Hurry up. There's no time for a shower. Throw some clothes on, gargle, and let's go.

Rory: I can't do that. Look, I'll be quick. I need coffee. Can you get me some coffee?

Paris: No, I cannot get you coffee. Hurry up, please.

Rory: Fine.

(Cut to auditorium.)

Woman: Okay. Itineraries are being passed out. We're heading down to breakfast. At seven o' clock we're having our first workshop for today. There's a break at 8 o' clock. At nine o' clock we meet back here. First we're going to visit the Washington monument and the Lincoln memorial, then off to the White House. We'll be meeting some senators today, they will give a talk, you will then ask questions…

Rory: This is why we had to be here at a quarter to six?

Paris: Why are you so tired?

Rory: I'm just tired. Must have been all that walking we did yesterday.

Paris: And that late night phone call to Stars Hollow? Who were you talking to anyway?

Rory: Eavesdropping while pretending to be asleep, that's low.

Paris: I wasn't pretending to be asleep. I was trying to go back to sleep.

Rory: Funny how well you heard my alarm then and how you couldn't here it this morning.

Paris: I don't even think you set your alarm again for this morning.

(Rory thinks about this.)

Rory: You're right. I'm sorry. Wow. That means this was all my fault.

Paris: Mostly. I'm partly responsible for sleeping after my alarm.

Rory: Let's just forget this ever happened.

Paris: Okay. So who did you call?

Rory: A friend.

Paris: At two in the morning? That's a good friend.

(Rory smiles)

(Luke's. Lorelai comes in.)

Lorelai: Jess, are you going to need to use the computer today?

Jess: Well, that's a fine question, Miss Gilmore. I haven't been to class yet, so I haven't been assigned anything yet, but if I listen to what Miss Cleo told me this morning, I still couldn't answer your question.

Lorelai: Well, in that case, can you give me an advanced payment for whenever you do need it again?

Jess: Payment before service is not good business.

Lorelai: Yes, but you see, Luke is not going to give me coffee and I'm dying here, so if I don't get coffee now I'm going to drop right here and you will never be able to use the computer.

Jess: (He pours her coffee). I'll give you that much of the payment now. The brownies will have to wait until I have made use of the service.

Lorelai: Fair enough. It's a pleasure doing business with you.

Luke: I'm just going to start paying you in cash now.

Lorelai: I told Jess. Standard fee's 300.

Luke: You got it.

Lorelai: Wow. With 300 dollars I could buy a lot of coffee.

Luke: Just drink your coffee.

(phone rings)

Jess: I'm off.

Luke: Go straight to school.

Jess: If I went straight I'd end up at the market. Oh but you probably want to see Taylor, right? I'll send him over.

(Jess leaves.)

Luke: Don't even kid about that. This is probably Taylor right now. (picks up the phone) Luke here.

Rory: Hey, Luke, how are you?

Luke: Hey Rory. Not too bad. How's it going?

Rory: Actually, the coffee here in Washington sucks. I've clicked my heels three times and repeated "There's no place like Luke's, there's no place like Luke's" but nope. Still here with the suckie coffee.

Luke: Maybe it'll help you kick the habit.

Rory: Well, it's not that bad. So Luke, I tried to call my mom at the house but she wasn't there. I'm guessing she's draining the diner of all of that delicious coffee right now as we speak?

Luke: Yeah, she's right here. Hold on. (passes the phone to Lorelai) It's Rory.

Lorelai: Hey sweetie. How are you? What's up?

Rory: Well, I tried to call you at the house, but you weren't there. I'm at breakfast now. We've got another busy day ahead of us. What are you doing at Luke's so early?

Lorelai: I'm taking my break from the inn. I needed coffee.

Rory: You're at the inn already?

Lorelai: Yeah. We're getting ready for Sookie and Jackson's Welcome Back party.

Rory: Oh that's right. Oh, I'm going to miss it.

Lorelai: We'll take plenty of pictures and I'll have a stenographer taking notes of all the dialogue.

Rory: Okay. Dean isn't by any chance around there, is he?

Lorelai: Nope. He wasn't home?

Rory: No.

Lorelai: Well, if I see him, I'll tell him you were trying to call him?

Rory: He doesn't even pick up his cell phone.

Lorelai: I repeat. If I see him, I'll tell him you were trying to call him?

Rory: Lane doesn't even know where he is and she's supposed to be checking up on him.

Lorelai: Okay, I'll say it one more time…

Rory: Mom, I'm worried. His mother said she didn't see him leave this morning. He's not at the market. He's not picking up his cell phone. Lane hasn't seen him. Is he even in Stars Hollow? And he didn't tell me yesterday that he was going anywhere.

Lorelai: Calm down, Rory. He's probably just bored without you and decided to go out for an early morning jog or something.

Rory: Dean doesn't jog.

Lorelai: Maybe he picked it up.

Rory: Okay. Whatever. It's just that I'm probably not going to be able to call him until late tonight so could you please tell him I tried to call him.

Lorelai: I already said I'd do that before you started hyperventilating.

Rory: And I love him.

Lorelai: You're not going to get jealous?

Rory: What?

Lorelai: If I tell Dean I love him.

Rory: Bye mom.

Lorelai: Have fun today. Oh, that's right, today's White House day. Streak in the rose garden for me, will ya.

Rory: I'm hanging up now. Oh, but tell Sookie I said welcome back.

Lorelai: Only if you streak.

Rory: Okay, now I'm really hanging up. Bye.

Lorelai: Bye sweets. (hangs up)

(Taylor bursts in)

Taylor: Luke, I'm glad you've finally come to your senses. We really should talk about this, you know.

Luke: What are you talking about?

Taylor: I'm talking about the collectible plate business you're joining me on.

Luke: What?

Taylor: Jess just gave me your message. Now I know you wanted to talk about it tonight, but really we should get started on this as quickly as possible.

Luke: Taylor get out!

Taylor: But…

Luke: Get out!

Taylor: I will not be treated this way. The deal is off.

Luke: Out!
(Taylor leaves. Lorelai giggles over her cup of coffee.)

(Dean is playing on the Basketball court near Stars Hollow High. Lane sees him and goes over.)

Lane: Hey Dean. What happened to you? Rory has been trying to reach you. She was really worried.

Dean: I'm sure she was. She'll get over it. She's got other people on her phone chain.

Lane: What are you talking about? Would you stop throwing that ball? I'm trying to talk to you.

Dean: I'm sorry, Lane. It's just that…I called Rory this morning.

Lane: No you didn't. She hasn't heard from you.

Dean: I didn't speak to her. I spoke to Paris.

Lane: Why didn't you speak to her?

Dean: She was in the shower. Paris told me there was no time for her to speak to me.

Lane: Well, you know she has a busy schedule. Don't be angry at her for that.

Dean: It wasn't that. Paris said she overslept because she was on the phone with me at 2 o'clock in the morning. I was not on the phone with Rory at two o' clock in the morning.

Lane: Oh.

Dean: I asked Paris who else it could have been, and she said she didn't know. Come on, who else do you call at two in the morning?

Lane: It was probably her mom.

Dean: No. I know it wasn't her mom. You don't call your mom at two in the morning. You either call a boyfriend or a guy you want as your boyfriend. It had to be Jess.

Lane: Dean, I think you're overreacting. Even if it was Jess, that doesn't mean that Rory wants him for a boyfriend. She loves you. She was really worried about you this morning. Jess is a friend, so of course she's going to call him.

Dean: Does she call you at two in the morning?

Lane: She couldn't even call me at 11 at night, if she wanted to. And Jess is a night owl. Maybe she was having trouble sleeping and figured he'd probably be up.

Dean: She's having trouble sleeping and she thinks to call him instead of me?

Lane: She probably thought you wouldn't be up and didn't want to wake you.

(Dean sees Jess headed for school.)

Dean: You know what? We can settle this right now.

Lane: Dean. This is not a good idea. You're angry now. And he's on his way to school. Come on, Dean.

Dean: Hey Jess. (Jess looks over)

Jess: Ah. Can I help you?

Dean: Yeah you can. Have you spoken to Rory recently by any chance?

Jess: I might have. It depends on what you consider recently. Why it wasn't too long ago we were all chatting by Doose's market. I recall you telling me I should stay away from you. Looks like you're the one who can't stay away from me. You did miss me, didn't you?

Dean: Let me rephrase my question. Did you speak to Rory at two o' clock this morning?

Jess: Mm. You know, it's funny, I hit my head yesterday and I think I have anterograde amnesia. In case you don't know what that is, that's when you can't remember anything that happens after the injury.

Dean: That's it. You know, you've had this coming for a long time. (He throws down the basketball and gets in fighting stance. Jess takes off his book bag.)

Lane: Oh come on. Pick up your knuckles off the floor. This is ridiculous.

Jess: When in Rome, do as the Romans.

(Dean lunges one swing. Jess ducks and gets a fist on Dean's shoulder. Dean uppercuts Jess right in the jaw. Jess jabs him in the chest. A full fledged fight begins. Both are bleeding. The principal comes and breaks the two apart.)

Principal: That's it Mr. Mariano. You're coming to my office. You two also.

(In the Principal's office.)

Principal: Dean, you're not in summer school. What were you doing here?

Dean: I was just playing basketball.

Principal: But you weren't on the court, were you? Well I'll tell you, if you started this, you've got three week's detention. Otherwise I don't want to see you here until September. Now what happened?

Jess: He hit me with the ball. I thought it was on purpose. So we got at it.

Principal: Did he tell you it was on purpose?

Jess: No.

Principal: Then why did you hit him.

Jess: I didn't believe him.

Principal: I just don't know what to do with you anymore, Mr. Mariano. Dean, Lane, you can go. Mr. Mariano, I'm calling your uncle.

Jess: Tell him to bring chips and some more ice.

(Dean and Lane look at Jess, puzzled. He does not look at them. They both leave.)

Outside

Lane: If he gets in bad trouble this is your fault. He saved you in there.

Dean: Please. He always has an ulterior motive. I wonder what he's up to.

Lane: Dean, this whole thing was your fault. I told you not to talk to him, and I told you not to fight.

Dean: I know, Lane. I'm sorry. But he makes me so mad. And I just know he's up to something. In fact, that's it. He's going to use this to get to Rory. Make himself look like the innocent victim slash hero.

Lane: Dean, I hate to tell you this, but you're going crazy. Come on. Let's go get something to eat.

(Principal's office. Luke comes in. Jess, the principal, and a teacher are there.)

Principal: Mr. Danes.

Luke: What happened?

Principal: Mr. Mariano was in a fight today.

Luke: Ah geez. Did you start it? (Jess nods) Ah geez. Jess, come on. We had a deal.

(Jess looks down)

Teacher: Mr. Danes, before today Jess had made a vast improvement. He's very bright. He just gave me his paper and it's brilliant. That's what makes it hard for us to figure out what to do here. He has a lot of potential. Normally, after this, we would have to expel him, but we're not sure that's the best thing to do now. Jess has been doing better and he has great things ahead of him if he keeps it up. We'd hate to turn him away now when he was just starting to reach his potential.

Principal: At the same time, Mr. Mariano has been in a lot of fights throughout the year, and that he continues to get into fights even while he's improving is a problem. We can't have him beating up the kids just because he's turning in good papers. We need to get a guarantee that this behavior will stop.

(Luke looks at Jess.)

Luke: That's the problem. There is no guarantee that this behavior will stop. Jess told me he would stay out of trouble. We had a deal. Now he gets into trouble. This isn't going to stop, is it?

(Jess remains with his head down.)

Luke: Look, um, we're going to need some time to talk about this and figure stuff out.

Principal: Well, he'll be under suspension until you get back to us.

Luke: That's fine.

Outside

Luke: Dammit, Jess. Why'd you have to do it? I could deal with your pranks, sending Taylor over thinking I was getting into business with him. But this. This is the stuff we talked about. This is the deal breaker. I think I'm going to have to send you back.

Jess: Is that what you want?

Luke: No it's not what I want. I wanted you to stay out of trouble, go to school, get good grades, graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, make something of yourself.

Jess: Okay.

Luke: Okay what?

Jess: I'll do that.

Luke: I've heard that before.

Jess: No. I told you I would stay out of trouble. I never said all that.

Luke: Yeah, and you got into trouble.

Jess: I didn't get into trouble. Trouble just seems to find me.

Luke: What happened?

Jess: It doesn't matter.

Luke: Yes it does. You said you started it.

Jess: That's what I said.

Luke: You know, you're right, I don't wanna know. But I'm telling you, this is your last chance. I mean it. Anything else happens, I don't care how small it is, you're going back.

Jess: Okay.

(Independence Inn)

Lorelai: So Michel, we're all set?

Michel: Yes.

Lorelai: What? No surly, sarcastic remarks?

Michel: After my near death experience today, I have decided I waste too much of my breath entertaining you.

Lorelai: Michel, I'm sorry about the balloon.

Michel: That is why you filled the entire inn with them.

Lorelai: Yes, but these are not going to pop.

(Kirk pops a balloon. Michel screams again.)

Lorelai: I'm leaving again.

Voice: Oh my home sweet home!! Where's my kitchen?

Lorelai: I wonder who that could be?

(Sookie comes in)

Lorelai: Surprise! Welcome back! Where's Jackson?

Sookie: Oh he's coming. Michel! I've missed you guys so much! It's so great to be back!

Michel: Hello, Sookie. (he leaves.)

Sookie: What's the matter with him?

Lorelai: He's had two near death experiences today.

Kirk: Oh hi, Sookie! Welcome back. See those Happy Hanukkah banners. They really say welcome back, okay?

Sookie: Okay. (Pulls Kirk into a hug with Lorelai) Oh I've missed you guys so much!

(Luke comes in carrying trays.)

Luke: Sorry I'm late. Oh Sookie. You're back already. Welcome back.

Sookie: Come on, Luke. Join the group hug.

Luke: Yeah. Um, my hands are full, thank God. Where can I take this?

Lorelai: Bring it all in the kitchen.

(the hug breaks up)

Sookie: What's all this?

Lorelai: Well, it's your Welcome Back party. Since you weren't here, you couldn't cater it, so Luke catered. It was better than your substitute.

Sookie: Oh you guys. Thank you.

(Jackson comes in carrying more trays)

Jackson: I just got back and they're already putting me to work. Where'd Luke go?

Lorelai: Welcome back, Jackson. Kirk, why don't you take that for Jackson?

Kirk: Is it hot?

Jackson: Yeah it's hot.

Kirk: Sorry, I can't take it then.

Lorelai: Oh, I'll take it.

(Jess comes in with trays also.)

Lorelai: Right this way, Jess.

(Jess follows her into the kitchen.)

Lorelai: Shouldn't you be at school.

Jess: I should.

Lorelai: And why aren't you?

Jess: They declared Sookie and Jackson's Welcoming a holiday.

(he puts down the trays and leaves. Lorelai stops Luke as he is passing by.)

Lorelai: Why isn't Jess in school, and why does he look like Rocky after the fight with Ivan?

Luke: He got in a fight and he's suspended.

Lorelai: What?

Luke: Well, they were going to expel him, but didn't want to since he's been doing so well, so they asked me what I was going to do with him, and I was really going to send him back to New York, but I'm giving him one more chance. He's suspended until I go back to the principal and guarantee that he won't get into any fights again.

Lorelai: Can you do that?

Luke: I hope I can. I really should have sent him back to New York, but he doesn't want to go back, and to be honest, I don't want him to go back either. He goes back their and he's just going to get into trouble again. He can do better here. He's been pretty good up 'til now.

Lorelai: Who'd he fight with?

Luke: I don't know.

Lorelai: You didn't ask.

Luke: It doesn't matter. I don't wanna know anything about it.

Lorelai: Ignoring the problem is not going to make it go away.

Luke: It's not a particular problem. He fights anyone and everyone. But it's going to stop.

Lorelai: Okay. If you say so.

(Washington)

Paris: Where's my film? I can't find my film. Rory, where's my film?

Rory: I don't know. Don't worry about it. I've got mine. We'll use your film for the rest of the trip.

(Rory makes a phone call. She grunts.)

Paris: What's wrong?

Rory: I've been trying to call Dean but he's nowhere to be found and either he doesn't have his cell phone with him or he's ignoring my calls. But why would he do that?

Paris: Um, I may have something to do with that.

Rory: What are you talking about?

Paris: Well, when you were in the shower, he called you. I told him you wouldn't be able to talk to him because you overslept after talking to him since two in the morning and now we were running late. I really thought you were talking to him. Turns out you weren't. He might have been a little upset after that.

Rory: Oh no. Paris, how could you?

Paris: I swear I didn't know. I thought it was him you had talked to and I had to make him feel culpable for our tardiness. But let's remember that we decided you were the culpable one, so I guess now we're even.

Rory: No. We're not even because in the end, we were not late. We weren't early, but we weren't late. But what you did has resulted now in my boyfriend not talking to me. So tell me, how are we even?

Paris: Look, I'm sorry. It's just a stupid fight with your boyfriend. Forget about it. You'll make up later. We're in Washington now.

Rory: You're right.

Paris: I am?

Rory: It's not your fault. It's mine. I called Jess at two in the morning. I forgot to set my alarm again. I overslept, and because of that I missed Dean's call.

Paris: Well, why are you worrying about it? You two will just make up. You always do. I don't like this version of myself. Can we get back to panicking about the film?

Rory: Paris, I have the film.

(Stars Hollow. Jess is leaving Independence Inn, heading back for the diner. Dean is going to Doose's Market. They stop within feet of each other.)

Dean: Why'd you do it?

Jess: I didn't do anything.

Dean: Why'd you lie to the principal?

Jess: I figure I'd just speed up the process.

Dean: What?

Jess: Come on. They were going to blame it on me anyway. So why get into the complicated details? Just thought I'd make it short and simple.

Dean: What are you going to tell Rory?

Jess: Oh. I see. You thought I did that so that I could then tell Rory that you beat me up and I took the fall for it, make you look bad and me look like one swell guy. Well that'd also make me a wimp. You tell Rory whatever you want. I'm not telling her anything.

Taylor: Dean. Get in here. You're late already.

(Dean and Jess go their separate ways.)

(Independence Inn. Lorelai is looking at pictures. Sookie comes in.)

Sookie: Oh Lorelai, this is great. Thank you so much.

Lorelai: This place just wasn't the same without you. These are nice pictures.

Sookie: Did you see the one where Jackson…

Lorelai: Oh yeah. I saw that one. And I never want to see it again, but give me a copy for my blackmailing vault.

Sookie: (giggling) He didn't know I got that on camera. So, how are you holding up?

Lorelai: I'm fine.

Sookie: I mean, with Rory gone and that whole thing with Chris. Have you spoken to him since?

Lorelai: Yeah, he called. We're okay. He's trying to work things out with Sherry. Rory's going to the White House. She's going to streak in the rose garden for me otherwise I'm not telling you she said welcome back. Oops.

Sookie: Aw, she's so sweet. Is she having a good time?

Lorelai: Yeah. I mean, an okay time. She was never really looking forward to six weeks with Paris and missing your party and everything else, but I think she's enjoying Washington and all the activities. She likes keeping busy.

Sookie: So how have you been keeping busy?

Lorelai: Torturing Luke. He's had to watch movies every night at my house. I think that's why he agreed to cater this thing. He was so glad you were coming back so that I would stop bothering him.

Sookie: So nothing more happened?

Lorelai: What do you mean?

Sookie: Nothing. I just thought you and Luke might make a nice couple.

Lorelai: Luke?

Sookie: Well he's nicer looking than Kirk.

Kirk: (from under the counter) Hey!

Lorelai: Kirk! What are you doing here?

Kirk: I'm hiding.

Lorelai: From who?

Kirk: From Michel. He's going to kill me.

Lorelai: Why?

Kirk: I popped another balloon.

Lorelai: Ah.

Kirk: Right in his ear.

Lorelai: Ouch. Stay low.

Kirk: Yeah. (he ducks back under the counter.)

(Michel enters.)

Michel: Where is he?

Sookie: Who?

Michel: The man who is trying to kill me. Where is he?

Lorelai: We don't know what you're talking about, Michel. There's no one here but me and Sookie. I mean, if anyone were trying to hide here they'd be hiding under the counter and there's no one under the counter.

Kirk: No. There's no one under the counter.

Michel: Get out from under there.

(Kirk reaches out for a balloon)

Kirk: I warn you. I'm armed.

Lorelai: It's sad that this is the most exciting Stars Hollow will ever get.

(Later. Lorelai walking from Independence Inn. She sees Dean leaving the market.)

Lorelai: Hey stranger.

Dean: Hi.

(Lorelai notices Dean's face.)

Lorelai: I take it you were the one Jess got into a fight with.

Dean: You heard.

Lorelai: Well it's written all over Jess' face, and yours too for that matter. Luke told me about Jess.

Dean: So how much did you hear?

Lorelai: Just that Jess got in a fight. That's all Luke knew. Care to fill in the details?

Dean: I can tell you I lost it today.

Lorelai: Ah.

Dean: This morning I called Rory.

Lorelai: You did?

Dean: Yeah, but I didn't speak to her. She was in the shower. Paris told me she had overslept after talking to me at two in the morning. But it wasn't me she was talking to and I'm almost certain it was Jess. It angered me. You just don't call a friend at two in the morning. I went to play basketball and I saw Jess going to school. I asked him about it, and he got smart with me. I was just so angry at him. I lost it. We got into a fight.

Lorelai: So what happened?

Dean: Nothing. Jess told the principal he started it, so he let me go.

Lorelai: Why would he do that?

Dean: I don't know. I thought he was going to use it to make me look like a monster to Rory and him like a good guy. But he said he wasn't telling Rory anything, that he just did it because they were going to blame it on him anyway so why waste time with the details. I just don't know. Why would she call him at that time?

Lorelai: Well, I don't know, but I wouldn't have that answer and neither would Jess. The only person who would know that would be Rory. It's not his fault that she called him, and I'm sure she didn't mean anything bad by calling him at that time. You should have allowed her to explain it to you. Avoiding her and starting fights with Jess doesn't solve anything, and she's been worried sick about you.

Dean: I know. I know I screwed up. This whole thing just drives me crazy sometimes. I mean, Rory. She's changing. And it's him. He's messing with me and he's messing with her and he's going to hurt her.

Lorelai: Dean, I understand how you're feeling, but you need to talk to Rory. You're letting your imagination run wild and it's all for nothing. Rory loves you, you have to know that. She was so worried about you.

Dean: Yeah, I'm going to give her a call.

Lorelai: Please do that.

Washington

(Rory and Paris are looking at the White House)

Paris: That was incredible. How were the pictures, you think?

Rory: I caught some really good ones.

Paris: I don't know. I think this might be the place for me.

Rory: You mean you want to be the President?

Paris: No. God no. But I would like to be in Washington. Work for a political magazine or something.

Rory: Sounds like a plan. You asked that senator some tough questions. He nearly gagged.

Paris: But he was most impressed by you.

Rory: Hello, where are you Paris?

Paris: I realize I don't have to compete with you anymore.

Rory: Good. Because you are great and you're going to go to Harvard and work for a political magazine or do whatever it is you want to do. Nothing can stop you.

Paris: (shyly) Thanks.

Luke's

(It started to pour outside and Lorelai runs inside. Luke quickly serves her a cup of coffee.)

Lorelai: Thanks. Hey, aren't I supposed to be banned from coffee.

Luke: Well, you're soaked.

Lorelai: That I am. Thank you.

(Luke starts to clean the tables. Taylor comes in. Luke sighs.)

Taylor: Luke, I'm not sure if you knew it, but I run the market over there. I run a respectable market. I hire nice, clean cut boys and girls that are courteous, respectful, and well bred. One of my workers came in today looking like he just came out of prison. I found out that your rude, disrespectful, hoodlum employee slash nephew got into a fight with him. Now, normally I leave these things for the school to handle, but when one of my workers comes in with a swollen lip and a bump on his face, it hurts my business. People think my market is disreputable, that I'm hiring bullies and hoodlums.

Luke: Taylor, you sell fruit, beans, and cornstarch. How does that become disreputable?

Taylor: Luke. You let that menace back in here. Therefore, I hold you responsible.

Luke: Taylor, they're boys. Boys fight. It happens. Jess looks pretty bad too.

Taylor: Oh well then, I feel so much better. Make all the excuses you want, but I never saw a boy walking around with a swollen lip in this town until your nephew came here.

Luke: Look Taylor, I already talked to him about it. It's not going to happen again.

Taylor: It wouldn't have happened the first time if you hadn't taken him back, and the only way to be sure that it won't happen again is if you send him back to New York.

Luke: Taylor, are you done?

Taylor: I've said my part, now when are you going to do yours?

Luke: As soon as you leave.

Taylor: Have it your way, but don't think this is over with that boy.

(Taylor leaves.)

Lorelai: You have to give him credit for his zeal.

Luke: Well, I'm running out of zeal. I'm tired of this. I never should have let him come back here.

(Jess, who had been coming down the steps, comes into the diner.)

Jess: I'm going out. (leaving)

Luke: Wait, Jess. Did you hear that? Look, I didn't mean that. Jess, would you wait? Look, it's raining out.

(Jess is out the door) Aw geez. This day just keeps getting better and better.

Lorelai: Just let him cool off. He knows you didn't mean it. Listen Luke, did Jess ever tell you what happened?

Luke: No, and I really don't want to know. I can defend him better when I don't know what he did.

Lorelai: Well, I don't know if this is going to make things better or worse, but Jess didn't start the fight.

Luke: What?

Lorelai: Dean did.

Luke: Dean?

Lorelai: Yeah. He lost it for a minute there and got into a fight with Jess. Jess told the principal he started it because he knew that's what they would believe anyway.

Luke: Are you finished with your coffee?

Lorelai: Uh, yeah. Did you hear what I said?

Luke: I heard you. I'll give you a ride home. It's pouring out there.

Lorelai: Uh, okay.

(Luke clears up as Lorelai gets her things together.)

(Luke drops off Lorelai. It's still raining.)

Lorelai: Well, thanks for the ride.

Luke: No problem. See ya tomorrow.

Lorelai: Yeah. So, um, goodnight.

Luke: Good night.

(Luke drives off. He gets to the lake and sees Jess on the bridge.)

(Luke approaches Jess.)

Luke: Can we talk?

(Jess looks at him and looks back at the water.)

Luke: Listen, Jess, I'm sorry about what I said—

Jess: No. I was thinking about it and you're right. I don't belong here. I hate this stupid town and the town hates me. There's no point in me being here. I'm going back to New York tomorrow.

Luke: Jess, stop it. You don't hate the town, and the town doesn't hate you. Taylor hates you. He'll get over it. He came in today and we got into an argument again about the fight, and I was angry. I said those things out of anger. Your place is here. This is your home now, and Taylor may not like, and Dean may not like it, and I sometimes may not like it, and you may not like it, but it's true. I don't like Taylor, but he's still here, so even if he doesn't like you, you're still going to be here. We're all stuck with each other. Welcome to Stars Hollow.

Jess: (smirks) Are we going to hold hands and skip now?

Luke: It's raining. Let's just take the car.

Washington

(Rory and Paris come through the door, laughing. The phone rings and Rory goes to pick it up.)

Rory: Hello.

Dean: Hey.

Rory: Dean! How are you? Where have you been? I've tried to call you so many times. You weren't answering your cell phone. I was worried. And then Paris told me you called this morning and she told me what happened and I was worried you were upset and that I'd never hear from you while I was here in Washington…

Dean: Whoa. Slow down, take a breath. I was upset, Rory, and I did some stupid things. I just need to hear what you have to say now. I'm sorry for not giving you that chance earlier.

Rory: Dean, it was nothing. I called Jess. When I called my mom last night she told me that Luke wanted me to call Jess because he was bored and I've been his only friend in Stars Hollow. He just needed a friend. I tried calling him a little while after I got off the phone with my mom, but there was no answer. I figured he was out doing whatever it is he does when he's out late at night, and I decided I'd call him at a time I knew he'd be in. I was right, too, because when I called he said he had just gotten in a little while ago. We talked for a bit. It was just a friendly conversation. It was no big deal. But you didn't even give me a chance to tell you about it.

Dean: I know. I lost it. He just gets me so mad, and it just didn't seem right to me, that you would be calling him at two in the morning. I'm sorry I wigged.

Rory: Apology accepted. Now, what were these stupid things that you did?

Dean: (sighs) I guess I should tell you before Lane does.

Rory: What do you mean? What happened?

Dean: I got into a fight with Jess.

Rory: Oh my God! Why? Is he okay? What happened?

Dean: Rory! He's fine. I don't know why. It just happened. He got smart with me again and I couldn't deal with it. Why do you automatically ask if he's all right?

Rory: Well, because I'm talking to you, so I know you're not dead, and you are significantly taller than he is, so I would think there's a greater possibility that he was severely hurt than that you were. Why do you read so much into everything I say?

Dean: Look, I'm sorry. I'm still recovering from all the frustration of the day.

Rory: A frustration that you could have avoided.

Dean: Rory, I said I was sorry.

Rory: I know. Look, let's just forget it. You're okay?

Dean: Yes.

Rory: And Jess is okay?

Dean: Yes.

Rory: When did this happen?

Dean: In the morning.

Rory: Jess wasn't at school?

Dean: He was on his way.

Rory: And where were you?

Dean: At the court.

Rory: So you fought at school?

Dean: Yeah.

Rory: So what happened? Did you get caught?

Dean: Yeah. We had to go to the principal's office. I got off. I don't know what happened to Jess.

Rory: How did you get off?

Dean: Does it matter? Can't we just forget about this and move on?

Rory: Yeah, I guess so.

Dean: How was the White House?

Rory: Better than I expected. It was a busy day, but I had a good time. Paris and I are preparing a great article for the Franklin.

Dean: That's great. I'm glad to hear that.

Rory: What did you do for the rest of the day?

Dean: Well, I was working today. It's raining here so I pretty much spent the rest of the day in with my family.

Rory: That's nice. I miss spending a day inside.

Dean: I miss you.

Rory: I miss you too.

Dean: Well, I'm gonna let you go. Clara's bored and she needs some entertainment.

Rory: By all means, go do your entertaining.

Dean: Good night.

Rory: Good night.

Luke's next day

(Lorelai enters. Luke is upstairs. Jess walks over with the coffee.)

Lorelai: Hey Jess.

Jess: Miss Gilmore.

Lorelai: So how did it go?

Jess: What?

Lorelai: Are you still suspended.

Jess: No. They decided to give me detention for the rest of the summer instead. I'm still trying to figure out how that's a better trade off.

Lorelai: And you and Luke are okay now?

Jess: There was never a problem.

Lorelai: Fine. Listen Jess, I spoke to Dean yesterday.

Jess: Ah.

Lorelai: Yeah. He sort of told me the details about your row. ..Why'd you really do it.

Jess: What?

Lorelai: Lie.

Jess: You seem to question my motives often, Miss Gilmore, and no matter what I say you're going to believe what you want to believe so go right ahead.

Lorelai: I'll be honest with you, Jess. I don't trust you and I'm worried. I'm worried for Rory.

Jess: Well that's an interesting piece of news. Thank you, Miss Gilmore.

(Luke comes downstairs.)

Jess: (to Luke) I'm going to school.

Luke: Go str…Never mind.

The End