By Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay for anyone
Disclaimer: I own none of the GG characters or anything. There are some Stew Pid characters here. Those I own with the other Stew Pid stuff.
(Luke's. Lorelai enters looking frazzled.)
Lorelai: One coffee on the rocks and make it strong.
Luke: What's wrong with you?
Lorelai: I have to go to my parents' house for dinner today.
Luke: You still have to do that even though Rory isn't here?
Lorelai: Well, my mom wanted me to, but I've avoided it all this time. First I used the excuse that Sookie wasn't here, then I used the excuse that she was coming back, then it was that she had just gotten back, and now I've run out of Sookie excuses but I can't think of anything else. I could play dead, but then what would I do when Rory comes back?
Luke: Come on, is it really that bad?
Lorelai: Picture a night alone with Taylor?
Luke: (pours her the coffee) Drink up.
Lorelai: (holding up the mug) Cheers. (She gulps it down like a shot of whiskey. Then slams down the mug.) Okay. I'm going in.
Luke: Have a nice time.
Lorelai: Funny.
(Hartford Gilmore residence)
Emily: Well Lorelai, so nice to see you. It's been a long time, I was almost about to ask you to send me a photo of yourself in the mail so I could remember what you look like.
Lorelai: Mom, I get your point. I've just been very busy lately. The summer's a busy season at the inn, you know.
Emily: Of course. I understand. And with Sookie just being back, I mean I'm sure everything was all of a sudden new to her again.
Lorelai: Okay, maybe I did not explain the situation well the last time. See, Sookie is a wonderful, paranoid, neurotic, obsessive-compulsive person. She does not take to change well. She freaked out and emptied out the kitchen and put everything back in the exact strategic location she had left it, changed the menus a gazillion times, and the rest of us also had to adjust to having her back because we had gotten used to a quieter more lax kitchen environment.
Emily: Lorelai, there is no need for explanation. I understood the first time. So tell me, how is Rory?
Lorelai: She's fine. She's having a great time.
Emily: I'm sure she is. She must be in her element there.
Lorelai: I'm sure she is. So where's dad?
Emily: Oh he should be coming down soon. Why don't we settle down for some tea?
Lorelai: Are there any biscuits?
(Emily walks away. Lorelai frowns, shrugs, and then follows her.)
(At the dinner table. Richard comes.)
Richard: Ah, Lorelai, how nice of you to stop by.
Lorelai: Dad, hey. How are you?
Richard: Not so bad, not so bad. How's Rory?
Lorelai: Great.
Richard: I'm glad.
Emily: It seems Sookie is all settled in again.
Richard: How wonderful.
Lorelai: So Dad, how's the business going?
Richard: Quite well. Well, we're just starting up so we've had a few bumps here and there, but we've also had some good breaks so things are working out rather nicely.
Lorelai: That's great.
(Maid enters)
Maid: Sir, there is a call for you, a Mr. Hughes.
Richard: Ah. Yes. I'll take it in my study. Excuse me for one moment.
(Richard and Maid leave.)
Emily: So how is Christopher?
Lorelai: He's doing well.
Emily: That's good. Is he still is Stars Hollow?
Lorelai: No. He went back to Boston.
Emily: And when is he coming back?
Lorelai: I'm not sure, but probably not for a while.
Emily: But at the wedding you said he'd be visiting more often.
Lorelai: Yes, but as things turn out that's not going to happen.
Emily: Why, what's wrong?
Lorelai: Nothing's wrong.
Emily: Well something must be wrong to have caused the change in plans.
Lorelai: (sighs) Chris' ex-girlfriend turns out to be pregnant so Chris went back to try to work things out with her so he could be there for the new baby.
Emily: Oh my. How unfortunate.
Lorelai: No mom, it's a good thing. He's doing the right thing.
Emily: Well I'm glad he's doing it for one of his children.
Lorelai: You know, mom, maybe we shouldn't get into this.
Emily: You're right.
(Silence. Then Richard comes.)
Richard: So what did I miss? (Emily and Lorelai roll their eyes.)
Next day
(Dean sees Lane and catches up with her.)
Dean: Hey.
Lane: Oh hey. How are you?
Dean: Okay. How 'bout you?
Lane: Not too bad I must say.
Dean: Good. So, what do you have planned for today?
Lane: Well, I was supposed to be getting together with some girls from the squad, we were just going to hang out.
Dean: (voice drops) Oh okay. Well, I'll see you later.
Lane: Wait. Hold up. Why? What's wrong?
Dean: Well, Rory's absence is starting to get to me more and more, and I didn't have any plans for today so I thought maybe we could catch a movie or something, but since you have plans…
Lane: Well, why don't you just hang out with me and the girls? There's going to be other guys there too.
Dean: And your mother's okay with this?
Lane: What she doesn't know won't hurt me. She's going to be at the church most of the afternoon and then she's visiting a friend.
Dean: Okay. So where are you meeting?
Lane: In front of the music store at 5.
Dean: Okay, well thanks.
Lane: No problem. See you at 5.
Luke's
(Lorelai enters looking exhausted.)
Luke: So, how did it go last night?
Lorelai: If you want to hear about it, you have to first remove all sharp and dull objects within a thirty feet radius.
Luke: I'll pass.
Lorelai: Good. So, I here there's this new great movie out.
Luke: The new Pacino? Yeah, I don't know.
Lorelai: No, not the new Pacino.
Luke: Which one are you talking about then?
Lorelai: It's a great uplifting movie with action, adventure, strong political message, delightfully entertaining, heartwarming, funny, and rejuvenating.
Luke: Now I know we're not talking about the new Pacino movie.
Lorelai: I'm talking about Spirit: the Stallion of the Cimarron.
Luke: You want to see a cartoon movie about a horse?
Lorelai: Not just any horse, Spirit.
Luke: Are you serious?
Lorelai: It is an unusual thing for me, but in this case, yes, I am serious.
Luke: So I take it you're going with Sookie to see this?
Lorelai: Well, actually, Sookie is visiting with Jackson's parents.
Luke: So you're going to try to connive me into going with you.
Lorelai: It's no fun seeing a cartoon movie alone, and what happened to that "alone together" speech?
Luke: I was under medication when I said that.
Lorelai: So I'll drug you before we go.
Luke: Can't you just see it tomorrow with Sookie?
Lorelai: I could, but then what would I do today?
Luke: You need to find yourself a hobby.
Lorelai: I have a hobby.
Luke: Besides bugging the heck out of me.
Lorelai: Oh, well, then I promise I'll start working on finding another one if you come with me. Pleeeeease.
(Kirk comes in.)
Lorelai: With carrots on top and asparagus and creamy spinach.
Kirk: What's going on here?
Lorelai: Luke won't come with me to see Spirit.
Kirk: Hey, I wanted to see that movie.
Luke: Great. Kirk you can go with Lorelai today.
Kirk: Hey, that's great. I haven't taken a girl to the movies since…well since my mother came to visit.
Lorelai: Okay, but Kirk, this is not a date.
Kirk: Would it have been a date with Luke?
Lorelai: No.
Kirk: Because if I'm going to be his substitute I should get all the privileges normally extended to him.
Lorelai: Great, then I can bother you mercilessly until you're about to go up the walls?
Luke: Yep, those are my privileges.
Kirk: Well, I'm just the substitute. Substitutes never get treated exactly the same.
Lorelai: So it's a deal.
Kirk: Pick you up at 7? We can get a quick bite and see the 7:45 showing.
Lorelai: Sounds great.
Kirk: Okay. I'm going to call my mother.
(Kirk leaves.)
Lorelai: You owe me.
Luke: You owed me first.
Lorelai: So I guess we're even now. (She shrugs and heads out of the diner)
(Independence Inn)
Lorelai: Sookie, calm down. Everything is going to be fine.
Sookie: You don't understand. Before I met them as Jackson's girlfriend. Now I'm meeting them as Jackson's wife. They're going to notice if he got thinner or not. Oh my God! What if he got thinner?
Lorelai: I'd say, considering the amounts of food you cook, that that's impossible.
Sookie: Oh, don't you see. This is the trial visit to see how good a wife I am. And what if I'm not a good wife? They'll tell Jackson if he hasn't noticed yet and before I know it, some man in a suit will be coming to the inn to hand me divorce papers.
Lorelai: Well, just be sure to get the guy's number and you might have found yourself a new husband.
Sookie: I don't want a new husband.
Lorelai: And you won't need a new husband. You love Jackson, right?
Sookie: Of course.
Lorelai: And I know he loves you. And if his parents are really looking to see if you're a good wife, that's all they'll have to look for, and they'll see it 'cause it's there. Everyone sees it.
Sookie: Oh. You're so wonderful. (Hugs Lorelai.)
(Michel comes in.)
Michel: Aw, how cute. You know what would be cuter? If I was not the only one working here.
Lorelai: Oh. I think Michel wants a hug.
Michel: Stay away from me.
(Lorelai and Sookie move in an Michel with big smiles on their faces. Michel moves back, but is pinned in a corner.)
Outside the music store
(A bunch of girls are waiting when Lane comes out of the store.)
Girl 1: So we're all ready?
Lane: Actually, I invited another friend to come along if that's okay with you guys.
Girl 1: Oh no, it's no problem. I've got a few other friends waiting at my house anyway.
(Dean walks over.)
Dean: Hey Lane.
Lane: Oh, hey Dean. This is my friend Dean. Dean this is Rachel, Cathy, Annie, and Vy.
Girls: Hi.
Annie: Aren't we in the same History class?
Dean: Yeah, I think so. You sit in third row by the window?
Annie: Yeah, and you sit in the third row between the middle and the door.
Dean: Yeah.
Girl 1 (Rachel): Okay, so we're going to my house first. Some of the guys are there.
Rachel's house.
Rachel: Okay, make yourselves at home. Mi casa es su casa. Oh, Dean, you must know Rick, Jacob, Kevin, and this is my sister Vani, and her boyfriend Ed.
(They all say hello.)
Kevin: So Dean, it's great that you came. Now we're not so outnumbered.
Rick: Four guys to five girls, not so bad.
Vani: Well, Ed and I are leaving now. It was nice to meet you, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, same here.
Vani: Have fun you guys.
Jacob: So Dean, I heard you and Jess got at it the other day.
Dean: Um, yeah.
Rick: I hope you gave him a good knock in the head for me.
Vy: Well he looked pretty bad the other day when he came back.
Cathy: Who are you guys talking about?
Rachel: You don't know Jess? He's got quite a reputation for himself around here.
Annie: Well, Cathy doesn't spend a lot of time around here and Jess didn't spend a lot of time at school, so I guess they never really met.
Vy: He's been going to class pretty consistently for summer school, though.
Kevin: So Vy, why are you in summer school anyway?
Vy: I failed chemistry.
Jacob: And…
Vy: Math.
Jacob: And…
Vy: That's it.
Lane: So what are we doing today?
Rachel: We'll just hang out here and get something to eat later. I thought we could see a movie, but there's nothing good playing.
Vy: Spirit is playing.
Rachel: Come on, Vy. A cartoon movie?
Rick: How 'bout the new Pacino movie.
Annie: Ugh. What is it with guys and Pacino movies? They were okay when he was hot but now he's just old.
Cathy: But he doesn't look much different. Hey, I think they're still giving Lord of the Rings here.
Rachel: And we've seen it how many times?
Cathy: I never get tired of it.
Dean: It's a great movie.
Annie: To see once, after that it's like kill me already.
Cathy: You guys obviously weren't Tolkien addicts in the seventh grade.
Jacob: I was a Simpson's addict in the seventh grade.
Kevin: You still are a Simpson's addict.
Jacob: I never said I stopped being one, did I?
Rick: Hey, I'm hungry already.
Annie: Me too.
Rachel: You guys wanna call for pizza.
Rick: Nah. I'm in the mood for a steak sandwich.
Vy: I've dieted all week. Right now I could go for a nice juicy burger.
Cathy: No, I could just deal with a salad and maybe a baked potato.
Annie: (mischievously) Let's go to Luke's.
Lane: (looking at Dean) You know, I was really in the mood for pizza.
Rachel: Well, let's take a vote. Who votes for pizza? (She, Lane, and Dean opt for pizza.) Now, who says Luke's? Rick, Jacob, Kevin, Vy, and Annie opt for Luke's.
Cathy: It doesn't really matter to me.
Rick: Either way we win. Luke's it is.
Luke's
(The crowd pours into the dinner. They divide themselves amongst the empty tables. Rick, Kevin, Annie, and Rachel sit at one table. Vy, Jacob, Lane, and Dean, sit at another, leaving Cathy to share a table for two on her own. Dean notices this and gets up to sit with Cathy.)
Dean: Hey.
Cathy: Oh. Thanks. I was pretty lonely over here.
(Jess comes down.)
Luke: You were supposed to be down here twenty minutes ago.
Jess: Always good to be fashionably late.
Luke: But not habitually.
Jess: They say you don't get rid of bad habits, you just replace them? Should I go back to smoking?
Luke: There are plenty of customers to attend to.
Jess: Maybe theft again?
Luke: They're waiting.
Jess: Cutting school would be better?
Luke: Jess! Just get to work.
Jess: Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
(Jess notices the gang. He goes up to Lane's table.)
Jess: Hello. I'll be your waiter this afternoon. Would you like to hear our specials?
Lane: Um, I'll just have the chicken and fries with a Coke.
Jess: Fine choice, ma'am.
Vy: And I'll have a burger, hold the pickles and a diet Coke.
Jess: An equally fine choice. And the gentleman?
Jacob: I'll have the same with the pickles, regular Coke.
Vy: So, Jess, I see that nasty bump healed up nicely.
Jess: Wow, you must have aced the eye exam. How'd you do on the chem?
Jacob: Ouch, that just might have cost you your tip, man.
Jess: I think I'll survive.
(Jess gives in the order and walks to Dean's table.)
Jess: How do you do today?
Cathy: We're fine, thank you.
Jess: What can I get the missis?
Cathy: I'll have a salad and a baked potato?
Jess: Luke, I think I found your daughter?
Luke: What?
Jess: (Shakes his head and looks to Dean) What'll it be?
Dean: Just a Coke.
Jess: So you're just gonna sit and watch your girlfriend eat?
Dean: You know this is not my girlfriend.
Jess: Fine. I see nothing.
Cathy: No, it's true. We're all together (she gestures to the three tables) and we just fell this way.
Jess: You don't have to explain anything to me.
Dean: No we don't.
Jess: Right. So your order's coming right up.
(Jess goes to the other table)
Cathy: So that's the infamous Jess.
Dean: Unfortunately.
Cathy: I think I may have had a class with him.
Dean: To which he hardly ever showed.
Cathy: You don't like him.
Dean: Well I'm not much of a fan of his. But I am a big Lord of the Rings fan.
Cathy: Really? How many times have you seen it?
Dean: Not as many times as I could. I've seen it three times.
Cathy: Oh you'll think I'm a dork then.
Dean: No, come on, how many?
Cathy: Seven.
Dean: Wow.
Cathy: And I'd see it again.
Dean: Yeah, I'd see it again too.
Cathy: We should go.
Dean: What?
Cathy: Today.
Dean: I should tell you I have a girlfriend.
Cathy: Okay. I don't mean as a date. I just mean as two possible friends and fellow Lord of the Rings lovers who haven't seen it nearly as many times as they should. Do you have any plans today after this?
Dean: No.
Cathy: So you wanna?
Dean: I don't know.
Cathy: Oh come on. It gets better with every time you see it.
Dean: All right.
Cathy: Great
Dean: So how is it that you go to Stars Hollow High and are such a stranger to Stars Hollow?
Cathy: See, I don't live in Stars Hollow. I just go to school here and I just moved to Connecticut this year. I'm from Chicago.
Dean: Oh, I have family in Chicago. I was there not too long ago.
Cathy: Really? I haven't been back since I came here. I live in the next town. But my mom and Rachel's mom are good friends from college and Rachel's mom told my mom about Stars Hollow High so I came here. I used to just go to class and go straight home so I didn't really get to know a lot of people except Rachel. Then she became a cheerleader and my mom thought I should do the same so I could make more friends in Stars Hollow.
Dean: Do you like cheerleading?
Cathy: It's okay. I mean, I am athletic. I've just been more of a basketball player. I was in the girl's basketball team in my old school in Chicago, but Stars Hollow doesn't have a girls basketball team, and cheerleading is better than nothing. A lot of people just think its about being peppy and way too hyper, but its very physically demanding. It's a good work out.
Dean: Yeah, I mean, it looks challenging. It's like gymnastics with pom poms.
Cathy: Exactly.
(Jess comes over with a salad, baked potato, and two Cokes.)
Cathy: Uh, I didn't order a Coke.
Jess: Oh you wanted two straws for the one? (looks at Dean) How cute. (Dean is about to say something when Cathy cuts in.)
Cathy: No. No. Could I get water?
Jess: Okay. One water coming up.
(Jess walks away)
Cathy: So why didn't your girlfriend come?
Dean: She's away in Washington at a leadership conference.
Cathy: Oh I see.
Dean: What about you? Do you have more friends in your town?
Cathy: More than I have here, definitely, but not as many as I had in Chicago. Though you only really know who your friends are when you leave. I had a boyfriend in Chicago and we were planning on trying out a long-distance relationship sort of thing since I moved. About two months ago I found out he was seeing my best friend. I don't speak to either of them any more, but I still keep in touch with my other friends.
Dean: Go easy on your friend. Long-distance relationships have to be hard. I think what probably happened in that situation was that your boyfriend was hanging out with your friend a lot to hold on to a piece of you. Then it just got out of hand.
Cathy: I guess you're right. It was silly of us to think we could do it anyway. Young love is true, but it doesn't last.
Dean: Sometimes it doesn't.
Cathy: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't referring to you and Rory. There I go putting my foot in my mouth again.
(Jess comes with the water.)
Jess: Try the salad instead. It's more filling.
Cathy: (laughs) Oh yeah. Everything is delicious.
Jess: (to Dean) How 'bout you? Is that Coke okay? Not too much ice? Or do you need some more ice? Is the straw okay?
Dean: (angrily) Everything's fine, Jess.
Jess: Okay. Well, thank you. Come again. (to Luke) I'm taking my break now.
Luke: You're here twenty minutes late and you're taking your break twenty minutes early.
Jess: Smoking, theft, or cutting. Take your pick.
Luke: Just get out of here.
Jess: Why thank you. (Jess sees Mrs. Kim walking toward the diner. He goes over to Lane.)
Jess: (whispering) Duck.
(Lane looks and sees her mother who has already spotted her.)
Lane: Oh no. Look guys, this evening is over for me. I'll see you later hopefully.
Rachel: Do you want me to help you explain?
Lane: No. It wouldn't help.
Washington
Rory: So Paris, what do you want to do for our free night on the town?
Paris: Well, I'm going to dinner and then the Jefferson Memorial.
Rory: By yourself?
Paris: Well, um, no.
Rory: With Phil?
Paris: Yes, with Phil. Is there anything wrong with that?
Rory: (smiling) No. Nothing at all.
Paris: Get that stupid smile off your face okay.
Rory: (smiling) I'm not smiling.
Paris: Look, it's no big deal. You wanna come?
Rory: No. No. I have lots to do. I think I'm going to get a head start on my packing.
Paris: We still have another week and a half.
Rory: I know. I like to start things early. Packing is a very time consuming procedure for me. See I have this particular strategy where I…
Paris: Spare me. So what are you going to do about eating?
Rory: I'll just go downstairs.
Paris: You want me to bring you back something.
Rory: No. You don't know my taste in food, nor my capacity for it.
Paris: Fine. Suit yourself.
(the phone rings.)
Paris: That's probably Phil. (picks up) Hello…Oh, she's right here. Hold on. It's for you. Mr. Wonderful.
Rory: Hey Dean, how are you?
Dean: Rory, okay. How are you?
Rory: I'm okay. So what are you up to?
Dean: Well, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me going to the movies today with a friend.
Rory: Of course not. Why would I? Do I know this friend?
Dean: I don't think so. I don't know her too well myself. I just met her today.
Rory: Her?
Dean: Yeah. Cathy. She's Lane's friend.
Rory: Oh. Is Lane going too?
Dean: No, she can't. She's grounded.
Rory: Again.
Dean: Yep. It wasn't pretty.
Rory: So it's just gonna be you and Cathy?
Dean: Yeah. It's just as friends. She knows I have a girlfriend whom I love tremendously.
Rory: The feeling's mutual.
Dean: She's a big Lord of the Rings fan. She's seen it seven times and insisted I see it again.
Rory: So you two are working on getting into the Guinness book of records for seeing Lord of the Rings the most times?
Dean: You don't want me to go?
Rory: No. It's not that. I just find it a little strange.
Dean: What's so strange about it?
Rory: I mean, you two just meet today and already you're seeing movies together just the two of you.
Dean: Look, Lane invited me to hang out with her and a bunch of her friends. Lane's mother caught us all at Luke's and grounded her. The other guys didn't want to see Lord of the Rings, so it just left me and Cathy.
Rory: I understand that, but I don't see what's the emergency in seeing a movie that you've already seen three times.
Dean: So you're allowed to be friends with Jess, but I'm not allowed to be friends with Cathy.
Rory: You're the one who freaks out if I spend two seconds with Jess in a place considered slightly less than public.
Dean: But you do it anyway. And it's different with you and Jess. I only act that way because I care about you and I don't want you to get hurt, and I just knew Jess would hurt you, and he already has.
Rory: No he hasn't. Look, I don't want to argue with you. I don't care. I really don't. Have fun. Say hello to Cathy for me.
Dean: I will.
Rory: Bye.
Dean: Good bye.
(Rory slams down the phone. It rings again. She picks up.)
Rory: (angrily) What now?
Phil: Um, I'm sorry. I, I was supposed to call Paris here. Is this Paris?
Rory: (softening) I'm sorry, Phil. It's me Rory. I thought you were someone else.
Phil: I almost thought you were Paris. The attitude was right but the voice was still different.
Rory: (laughing) Paris is right here. Hold on. (She hands the phone to Paris.)
Paris: Okay. I'll be right down. (hangs up) You sure you don't want to come?
Rory: Yeah, I'm sure.
Paris: Well, I'll see you later.
Rory: Have fun.
Paris: Bye.
(Rory picks up the phone and dials. After it rings for a while, she hangs up and dials again.)
Luke: Luke here.
Rory: Hey Luke.
Luke: Hey Rory. What's up?
Rory: Nothing much. How are you?
Luke: Not too bad.
Rory: That's good. I'm sorry I keep doing this, but is my mom there? She wasn't home.
Luke: No, she's not. She went to the movies with Kirk.
Rory: Kirk?
Luke: Well I wasn't going to go with her.
Rory: Let me guess, she wanted to see Spirit.
Luke: The horse, yeah.
Rory: And Sookie was unavailable.
Luke: With the in-laws.
Rory: Ah.
Luke: She'll probably be dropping by here after if I know her.
Rory: She will.
Luke: So I'll tell her you were trying to reach her.
Rory: Thanks. Luke…
Luke: Yeah.
Rory: Is Jess there?
Luke: Yeah. Hold on. (yells out) Jeeesssss! Jeeeessss!! (sighs and goes up the steps. Jess is reading with headphones on blaring. He sees Luke and takes off the headphones.)
Luke: The phone. (Luke leaves. Jess picks up the phone.)
Jess: Hello Rory.
Rory: Hey.
Jess: What's up?
Rory: Nothing much. How 'bout you?
Jess: Nothing really. How'd the White House go?
Rory: Pretty good. Pretty good. So are you feeling okay?
Jess: Well, I'm not dying. Why?
Rory: I heard you got into a fight.
Jess: Ah. The news traveled all the way to Washington. And I thought Stars Hollow was small. Oh wait, I forgot you're the aspiring overseas correspondent.
Rory: Right. So are you really okay?
Jess: Yeah. You forget I'm the more experienced fighter.
Rory: I should be angry at you.
Jess: But you're not.
Rory: No.
Jess: Why?
Rory: Because it was Dean's fault too, and mine.
Jess: Now how was it your fault?
Rory: I picked a bad time to call.
Jess: I didn't mind.
Rory: But Dean obviously did.
Jess: But you didn't call Dean.
Rory: No.
Jess: Just trying to follow along this line of logic.
Rory: It doesn't matter. It's over.
Jess: You broke up with Dean?
Rory: No. I mean, the fight, the argument, it's over.
Jess: Oh.
Rory: What was the sentence?
Jess: Detention for the summer.
Rory: Ouch. Why did Dean get off?
Jess: He gave them the puppy eyes.
Rory: Seriously.
Jess: I don't know. I guess because they figured he was a first and last time offender. Or maybe they wanted someone to beat me up for the vicarious exhilaration.
Rory: Stop it.
Jess: So what's the Beat-hater up to?
Rory: Paris is on a date with a friend.
Jess: Seems to be the day for that.
Rory: What do you mean?
Jess: It's a Saturday night.
Rory: Oh. Yeah. Right. So what are you doing this Saturday night?
Jess: Spending some time with a friend.
Rory: Oh, I'm sorry. Then I'll let you go.
Jess: If you do then I will officially be doing absolutely nothing on a Saturday night.
Rory: (smiling) Oh. Well then I'll stay.
Jess: Good.
Movie Theater
Dean: (at the ticket booth) Two for Lord of the Rings.
(Lorelai and Kirk come up)
Lorelai: Hey Dean.
Dean: Oh hi. Hey Kirk.
Kirk: Hi.
Lorelai: Who's your friend?
Dean: Oh, this is Cathy. Cathy this is Rory's mother Lorelai and Kirk.
Cathy: Nice to meet you.
Lorelai: Have you spoken to Rory lately?
Dean: Yeah. I told her I'd be going to the movies with Cathy.
Lorelai: Oh you did. Okay, then there's no problem.
Cathy: We're just friends.
Lorelai: Right. Okay. So enjoy the movie.
Dean: Yeah, you too.
After the movie
Kirk: Well. I had a wonderful time tonight.
Lorelai: Yeah. Great movie, wasn't it?
Kirk: Yeah, it was.
Lorelai: We should do this again sometime.
Kirk: Do you really mean that or are you just saying that and then you'll never call, and I'll be sitting in front of the TV eating bon bons watching Animal Planet not even with my mom on the phone this time so that I can leave the line open for your call?
Lorelai: You lead a very lonely life, don't you?
Kirk: You have no idea, so don't toy with me.
Lorelai: You know, these past weeks I've known exactly what you mean. I've leached onto people like Luke and Sookie and now you because I just can't deal with it. I'm in the house and everything is quite and there's no one to talk to and I just wig. I never realized how hard it has to be to live alone.
Kirk: Well, not everyone can do it, definitely. Takes a strong person on a higher intellectual plateau.
Lorelai: (smiles) Well thank you for saving me from the lonely house tonight.
Kirk: Yeah, same here.
Luke's
Lorelai: Hey.
Luke: You survived. How was the movie?
Lorelai: Well, you missed a great one.
Luke: I'll live. So how did you deal with Kirk for longer than 10 minutes?
Lorelai: It wasn't that bad after I tied him up, gagged him, and threw a blanket over him. No, but, actually I had a lot of fun.
Luke: Good. Rory tried calling you.
Lorelai: Yeah. I have to speak to her myself. I should get home. Make that coffee to go.
Luke: I never said I was going to give you any coffee.
Lorelai: Come on, you were spared from having to watch a cartoon movie that would have turned you into a fuzzy, cute animated creature.
Luke: Anyway, I think Rory's still on the phone with Jess. You can speak to her right now. Hold up. Jeeessss!
Jess: (from upstairs) What!
Luke: You still got Rory on the phone?
Jess: Yeah why?
Luke: Lorelai's here and wants to speak to her. Wrap it up.
Lorelai: Hey, I can wait. I'll tell you all about the movie.
Luke: Jeeeessss! Hurry up.
Jess: (coming downstairs) I'm all done. She's still there. I'm going for a walk.
Luke: (picks up the phone) Rory?
Rory: Still here.
Luke: Hold on. Your mom's here.
Rory: We know her well.
(Luke hands the phone to Lorelai)
Lorelai: Hey babe.
Rory: Hey mom. So, how'd your date with Kirk go?
Lorelai: It was not a date.
Rory: Dinner and a movie. Sounds like a date to me.
Lorelai: First of all, Kirk was practically finished eating before I got here, and secondly, it was a Disney movie. The dinner and movie date concept only works if both parties eat together and have flirtatious conversation and then watch a romantic movie with their arms wrapped around each other. Kirk and I did not even sit in adjacent seats. We used the seat in the middle as a table for our nachos and cheese, gummie bears, and Goobers.
Rory: Which qualifies as dinner. So you did eat together, and then I'm sure there was the hands grazing together over the cheese dip.
Lorelai: Stop it.
Rory: Then I'm sure you said, "Oh Kirk, what strong hands you have."
Lorelai: Who am I? Little Red Riding Hood?
Rory: "Don't you just love nachos with cheese."
Lorelai: Okay, I understand this is revenge. Now that's enough.
Rory: "Aren't horses beautiful. I always wanted to ride off on a horse into the sunset with a man with strong hands."
Lorelai: Okay. Did you get it all out of your system?
Rory: I think so. But it might just be dormant and come back later.
Lorelai: So I saw Dean at the theater.
Rory: Yes, he did tell me he was going to the movies with a friend. Cathy I believe her name was.
Lorelai: Yeah. Cathy. So he did tell you, good. And you're okay with it?
Rory: Of course, why wouldn't I be?
Lorelai: Oh I get it. Dean freaks out about you calling Jess at two in the morning, so you act like you're cool with the Cathy thing so that he leaves you alone about Jess, and you can call him whenever you want and stay on the phone with him however long you want.
Rory: No. Why is everything with you two about Jess? Dean told me about Cathy. I expressed my reservations. He didn't see a problem so why should I? I don't have a problem with trust. I trust Dean.
Lorelai: Fine. I don't want to take up this line any longer. I'll call you when I get home.
Rory: Fine.
(Dean and Cathy walking through Stars Hollow)
Dean: You sure you're going to be okay getting home?
Cathy: Yeah. The bus leaves me right in front of my house. I had a nice time.
Dean: Me too.
Cathy: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. That's corny right?
Dean: Yeah, but I get it, the use of a cliché to briefly express understood sentiments.
Cathy: Well then I guess you do. That's my bus coming.
Dean: Okay, so I'll see you around.
Cathy: I hope so. Good night.
Dean: Good night.
Later in Washington
(Phone rings)
Rory: Hello.
Dean: Hey.
Rory: Oh. Hi.
Dean: Rory, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Rory: Me too.
Dean: I missed you tonight. I realize the movie wasn't as great as watching it with you is.
Rory: As soon as I get back, if it's still playing, I promise you I'll go see it with you again.
Dean: So listen, I can't stay long. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.
Rory: I love you too.
Dean: Okay. Good night.
Rory: Bye. (She hangs up and falls lifelessly onto the bed, putting a pillow over her head.)
The End
