By Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: Thanks always to my readers and reviewers. I hope you like this chapter. It was a tough one and I'm still now sure about the final product.
(Gilmore Residence. The phone rings. Rory runs into Lorelai's room. Lorelai is still sleeping.)
Rory: Mom, wake up. The phone. Mom, wake up.
Lorelai: Come on, you get it.
Rory: I can't. What if it's dad? I'm not supposed to be here.
Lorelai: But I am supposed to be right here, in bed, sleeping.
Rory: Mom. Here. (hands her the phone.)
Lorelai: (answers.) Hello.
Christopher: Hey sleepy head.
Lorelai: Christopher. You're early.
Christopher: Well I wouldn't know that. Listen, I'm on the road. What time is Rory's flight coming in? I'll pick her up.
Lorelai: Where are you?
Christopher: Well, I'm just out of Boston.
Lorelai: No, you won't have time. She had an early flight. I have to pick her up in an hour.
Christopher: And you were still asleep?
Lorelai: Which is why I have no time for this conversation to go on any further. We'll meet you at the house.
Christopher: Okay. Give Rory a kiss for me.
Lorelai: I will.
(Lorelai hangs up and gives Rory a kiss.)
Rory: What was that for? You're supposed to bite my head off for waking you up.
Lorelai: That was from your dad. Now I would bite your head off, but I'm too tired to chew. Good night.
Rory: Good morning.
(Later. Lorelai is up and goes to Rory's room. Rory is packing her suitcase.)
Lorelai: Were these last six weeks all a dream and you're just going to Washington now?
Rory: You unpacked my suitcase.
Lorelai: Well yeah.
Rory: Why did you unpack my suitcase?
Lorelai: Well, because you're home now, and fortunately our home is slightly bigger than a car or a cardboard box so you don't have to live out of a suitcase.
Rory: What about when Dad comes and finds that all my things are unpacked?
Lorelai: He'll know that you've really come back from Washington to stay.
Rory: Okay, let me try this again. I told Dad I was coming home today. As of this morning he was on his way here. He should be here in a little while. We might just walk around town and he might be surprised that people aren't showering me with welcomes. We can tell him that they've already done that because we went around town as soon as I got back, but then, if he sees that everything is unpacked, he's going to know that all of this is too much to have accomplished in just a couple of hours. Therefore, I have to turn back the clock and make everything seem like yesterday. You need to get dressed. Dad's going to be here any minute and he'll know you didn't pick me up in your pajamas.
Lorelai: You realize how crazy this is.
Rory: Yes. I could never be a criminal. The cover-up is too hard. I'm not a good liar.
Lorelai: So instead of doing all this, why don't you just tell your dad the truth?
Rory: Because sometimes you have to lie so that you don't hurt other people's feelings.
Lorelai: I think he'd understand.
Rory: It meant a lot to him to be here when I got back because he missed my leaving. I wanted to be able to give him that without taking away from our time. I still want to do that. It's hard, but I can pull it off.
Lorelai: Not unless I get dressed.
Rory: Right. So get dressed. Now. Hurry.
Lorelai: Hmm. Do I have to wear what I wore yesterday, since we're turning back the clock?
Rory: Mom, please. Put anything on. Just get dressed.
Lorelai: Why don't we turn the clock back to the last time your dad was here so that I can wear that dress again, Sherry's pregnancy never happened, you still weren't sure if you were going to Washington…
Rory: Mom. Please.
Lorelai: Okay. I'm going. (Lorelai leaves. Rory sits on her repacked suitcase but cannot get it down enough to close it. She gets down and starts taking things out.)
Rory: Oh what a tangled web we weave…
(Later. Doorbell rings. Rory runs down and opens.)
Rory: Hey dad! (She gives him a strong hug.)
Christopher: Hey there. How was it?
Rory: Pretty good, pretty good. I'm picking up the pictures later on today.
Christopher: You already put them in? You work fast.
Rory: Yeah, well, we're using some of them for the next Franklin and you know Paris. She's probably going to be calling in twenty minutes demanding them already.
Christopher: And we wouldn't want to disappoint the president.
Rory: No we wouldn't.
(Lorelai comes down.)
Lorelai: Hey, Chris. You're here pretty fast.
Christopher: Well, I've been known to pump a lot of speed into a Volvo.
Lorelai: So, what's the game plan for today?
Christopher: Well, I just want you to know, Lorelai, that I had no intention of stealing Rory away from you her first day back. Whatever we do, we do together.
Lorelai: Well, if you two want to go out for a little while on your own, that's fine.
Rory: So, uh, dad, are you hungry?
Christopher: Before we go anywhere, I wanted to give you something. Let me go back to the car. Wait here.
Rory: Okay. (She looks at her mom, and they both shrug. Lorelai sits at the table and notices the book light.)
Lorelai: Hey, where'd this come from? I thought you showed me all your souvenirs and trinkets.
Rory: It was a gift. A welcome back gift.
Lorelai: From who?
Rory: Uh, from Jess.
Lorelai: When did you see Jess?
Rory: Um, he stopped by this morning on his way to school. You were sleeping, still. He didn't come in. He just gave it to me as a welcome back gift. Lane gave me a welcome back gift too so don't read anything into it.
Lorelai: I wasn't.
(Chris comes back in, emptyhanded.)
Lorelai: Chris, what is it?
Christopher: You two can come outside now. (They follow Christopher out. There is a green car outside. Christopher dangles the keys before Rory.)
Rory: Mine?
Christopher: Yours. I know the car Dean made for you was totalled in the accident, and your mom couldn't afford to fix it, so I had it fixed. It's the same car. I know it looks different, but it's what they had to do. It's got a new paint job and everything, but for sentimental purposes, it's the same car.
Rory: Thanks, dad. (She hugs him, but the smile on her face, once out of his view, drops.)
(Later. Independence Inn. Lorelai, Christopher, and Rory walk in.)
Michel: What are you doing back here?
Lorelai: Relax, Michel. I'm not checking up on you. Sookie is making Rory a Welcome Back Lunch here. By the way, were you able to settle…
Michel: Save your breath. I'm ignoring you.
Lorelai: It's that habit that worries me.
(Sookie comes out)
Sookie: Oh, you're here. Great. Come on. I have everything set up already.
(At the lunch. Jackson, Sooki, Lorelai, Christopher, and Rory are seated at a very stacked table.)
Rory: Wow, Sookie. This is great. Thanks.
Sookie: Oh it was no problem.
Lorelai: You just couldn't rest with the fact that you weren't able to cater your own Welcome Back party.
Sookie: No, no, no. Luke did a great job.
Jackson: Rory, how's the salad?
Rory: I don't think I've ever tasted more perfect tomatoes.
Jackson: So you noticed.
Lorelai: Who wouldn't notice the perfection of these tomoatoes?
Jackson: You didn't.
Lorelai: I did too.
Jackson: You did not.
Rory: Okay, children. It's all right. Now everyone has noticed the tomatoes.
Sookie: So Rory, did you get the pictures yet?
Rory: Um, no. This afternoon.
Lorelai: Sookie, can you come with me to get something?
Sookie: Did I forget something? Is something missing?
Lorelai: No, no. It's not the food. Just something I know Michel is going to forget.
Sookie: Okay.
Jackson: I have to get going myself. Rory, I'll see you later. Nice to meet you again, Chris.
Christopher: Same here. Great tomatoes by the way.
(Jackson, Lorelai and Sookie leave, going their separate way.)
Christopher: (Bending over to Rory.) Sookie seems to have seen you before now.
Rory: She did. Mom and I went all around Stars Hollow. Everyone has seen me already.
Christopher: So you got off the plane, drove to Stars Hollow, met everyone, dropped off the pictures, and came home in such a short amount of time.
Rory: Stars Hollow isn't that big a town.
Christopher: You and your mom have been up to something. I can always tell.
Rory: And what do you think that something is?
Christopher: Whatever "something" your mom needed Sookie for?
Rory: I don't know what you're talking about. Whatever "something" mom was talking about has nothing to do with me, and I am not up to any something whatsoever.
Christopher: The overuse of the word "something" alone tells me something's up.
Rory: I repeat, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Christopher: All right. My mistake then. But if there is something going on, believe me, I'll find out. Your mom has never been able to keep a secret up for long.
Rory: Well, I'm sure you won't find out anything because there's nothing to find out.
Christopher: Okay.
(Cut to Lorelai and Sookie.)
Lorelai: So here's the deal. Chris thinks that Rory just came in today. Long story, but it's the story we're keeping. Just pretend like you didn't see Rory before today. You saw her earlier today, but not before.
Sookie: Okay. Got it.
(Back at the table. Lorelai and Sookie sit down.)
Sookie: So Chris, how is Sherry?
Christopher: She's okay, everything's going normal with the pregnancy.
Sookie: Oh well, that's good. Normal's good…So Rory, we didn't really get to talk about your trip earlier today. Did you really have a good time?
Rory: Definitely. I mean, it wasn't my favorite way to spend the summer, but it turned out much better than I expected.
Sookie: That's great. And you still have a few weeks before school starts again.
Lorelai: For all that wilding you missed.
Rory: Yeah. Right.
Sookie: So what do you have planned for today?
Rory: I don't know. Dad, what do you think?
Christopher: Hey, it's your day.
Rory: In that case, how would you like to catch a ball game?
Lorelai: Okay, who is this and what have you done to my daughter? All of a sudden you want to go home and watch baseball?
Rory: Not home. Dean is playing softball and I haven't seen him play in a while. I think he'd like that.
Christopher: Sounds great.
Lorelai: 'Cuz you're a man. You enjoy sitting in the hot sun watching guys throw a ball around while you scratch your crotch and spit and make profane gesticulations at the losing team.
Rory: You enjoy making profane gesticulations at losers too.
Lorelai: That's true. Okay. So ballgame it is.
(Later. Rory, Lorelia, and Christopher sit down on the bleachers. Rory waves to Dean, who winks at her.)
Christopher: I got these hot dogs from the market. You can't watch a baseball game without hot dogs. (He passes down the hot dogs.)
Lorelai: They sell hot dogs at the market?
Christopher: The person that made them had asked the same question.
Rory: That can't be good.
Lorelai: What's so hard about making a hot dog? (She bites into it.) It's not that bad, but I'm not sure that it's a hot dog.
Rory: (bites into it) Definitely not like the ones in New York. Those are good.
Christopher: Hey, you guys went to New York? I never knew.
Lorelai: No. Rory went to New York. She's quite the traveler this one.
Christopher: What brought you to New York?
Rory: Temporary insanity.
Christopher: (to Lorelai) Do I want to hear the details?
Lorelai: I don't think so. It involves blood and guts and, quite frankly, after these hot dogs, I don't think your stomach will be able to manage.
Christopher: 'Nuff said.
Rory: Okay, hush now. Dean is batting.
Lorelai: Should we start a wave?
Rory: Why not?
(The three start the wave, but no one follows. They continue nonetheless.)
(Later. Game is over and Dean runs over.)
Dean: Hey. (He kisses Rory)
Lorelai: Eeww. He's all sweaty.
Rory: That's okay. I love him.
Dean: I'm so glad you came. Hey, how are you? (He extends his hand to Christopher who takes it.)
Christopher: Okay. Nice to see you again.
Lorelai: He looks different, right? You've seen him in a suit, and in a tux. He looks different when he's dirty and grimy.
Dean: I think I get the point. I'm going home to take a shower.
Voice: Hey, Dean.
Dean: (turns) Cathy. Hi. Um…
Cathy: Hello Lorelai. Hi, Rory. I know you don't know me, but Dean has told me so much about you.
Rory: Yeah, he's told me a lot about you, too. Nice to meet you.
Cathy: It's nice to meet you. How was Washington?
Rory: Uh, good. Thanks. Uh, Cathy, this is my dad.
Cathy: Hello. (She extends her hand and Christopher takes it.)
Christopher: Hello.
Cathy: Well, I'm going home now. Maybe we could all get together sometime.
Rory: Yeah, sure. I already told Dean that we should, so I'm sure we'll do that really soon.
Cathy: I'm looking forward to it. Great game, Dean.
Dean: Thanks for coming.
Cathy: Rachel and Vy were here too, but they left early. They wanted me to tell you that you looked good out there, though I'm not sure if they were refering to your game. You know those two.
Lorelai: Well they couldn't have meant his looks because he's really dirty.
Rory: Mom.
Cathy: (laughs) Well, I'll see you all around. I'm going to miss my bus if I don't leave now. Bye.
Dean, Rory, and Lorelai: Bye. (Cathy leaves)
Lorelai: So, um, Chris, why don't we, um, go…
Christopher: Get some autographs.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Mom, what are you doing?
Lorelai: Hey, you never know when one of these guys is going to be a famous professional ball player.
Rory: Stop it. We're going home now. Dean can meet us there. We'll pick up the pictures, laugh over them, and then we will all go out to dinner.
Lorelai: Don't you want to walk Dean home?
Rory: No. Why would I?
Dean: Rory, why don't you? I think we need to talk.
Rory: (looking at her mother and then at Dean) Fine.
(Rory and Dean walk away)
Christopher: There was a lot of unexplained tension there. Did I miss something?
Lorelai: Youth. What can I say?
Christopher: What's going on?
Lorelai: Nothing, really. Cathy is a friend Dean met through Rory's best friend Lane while Rory was in Washington. I think Rory is jealous of their friendship but she doesn't want to admit it to herself or to Dean.
Christopher: Do you think there's something between Dean and this Cathy girl?
Lorelai: Well, there's no evidence. Dean wouldn't do anything to hurt Rory.
Christopher: I believe that. Does Rory believe that?
Lorelai: Oh yeah.
Christopher: So connect the dots for me here.
Lorelai: It's only natural for Rory to be a little wary about Dean's sudden friendship with a girl while she's been away. The only problem is that she's trying to be so cool about it that they haven't discussed it and maybe if they discuss it she'll actually be cool about it.
Christopher: And why isn't she discussing it?
Lorelai: Because Dean has been jealous of her friendship with Jess. If she can prove that she's not jealous of Cathy, than it leaves him no grounds to be jealous of Jess.
Christopher: Isn't Jess the guy who got Rory in the accident?
Lorelai: Yes he is.
Christopher: Didn't he go back to New York…Ah. Rory went to New York. I'm guessing he had something to do with it.
Lorelai: I would say your guess is wrong, but then I'd be lying.
Christopher: Do you think there's something between Rory and Jess?
Lorelai: I don't know. I know Rory wouldn't do anything to hurt Dean so I know she and Jess haven't actually done anything, but whether or not she wants to do something, I don't know. It's what worries me about Rory and Jess. She doesn't talk to me about him. She insists on telling me that I don't know him and that he's really a good guy, but she won't tell me what makes him a good guy. Whatever she has with him is a secret between the two of them. I'm not comfortable with that. Rory always told me everything.
Christopher: Well, from what I've heard this Jess character sounds none too pleasing, and I still have a score to settle with him over the accident.
Lorelai: Chris, just let it go. I was ready to kill him and I had to let it go. You just have to do the same.
Christopher: I don't remember relationships being so complicated when I was Rory's age.
Lorelai: Well let's see. When I was Rory's age I was pregnant and you took off.
Christopher: (uncomfortable, but trying to be comical) Oh, that's right.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. I forgot that's still a sore wound for the new Chris. Understand that that's not you anymore.
Christopher: It isn't? Can I tell you that I'm ready to give up on fixing things with Sherry? I mean, it's so hard and it feels like we're being dragged into this because of the baby, which isn't the best foundation for success in the first place. I actually planned on giving up. I figured, when Sherry has the baby I would just pay child-support and visit, maybe take the kid for some of the year or something. And then I started thinking about you. I mean, Rory's probably going to Harvard pretty soon. Harvard's in Boston. I'm in Boston. Maybe you could be in Boston with me when Rory's finished high school. It's just, with you it's so easy. It's like we can just pick up where we left off, no complications.
Lorelai: So what are you saying, Chris?
Christopher: I don't know. I wanted us to work Lorelai. I still do. And I can't work things out with Sherry when I still want us. And I was just thinking that maybe I don't have to work things out with Sherry. I can still be there for my child without being with her.
Lorelai: That's true, Chris, but you forgot some things. The thing is, we can't just pick up where we left off. I'm not your safety net. I don't want that role. And I'm not going to leave my job and my home when Rory graduates to play that role. Relationships aren't easy, Chris. You have to know which ones are worth working and fighting for and which ones you just have to let go. You've got a lot of beautiful things waiting for you by Sherry that I think are worth fighting for. You just have to let the safety net go.
Christopher: That's not true, Lorelai. You're not the safety net. I love you.
Lorelai: I love you, too. Now we have to let go.
(Cut to Rory and Dean.)
Dean: Rory, can we please talk about this?
Rory: I don't see why. There's nothing to talk about. Or is there?
Dean: No. I mean, yes. Cathy is just a friend, but I know you're not okay with something. So let's just talk about it.
Rory: Dean, I'm okay. Really.
Dean: She didn't even come alone. I saw Rachel and Vy.
Rory: I saw them too.
Dean: Okay.
Rory: Right. So there's no problem. I understand you two are friends.
Dean: Rory, you know I love you, and only you.
Rory: I know that. I love you too. Why do you insist that I have a problem when I'm telling you I don't?
Dean: So you really don't have a problem?
Rory: No. I don't have a problem.
Dean: Then why don't you?
Rory: What?
Dean: Why don't you have a problem?
Rory: Hello. Why do you want me to have a problem?
Dean: Because if you really don't have a problem that means you don't care if I might be seeing someone else. Why don't you care?
Rory: I care. But I know you're not seeing someone else. I trust you.
Dean: Okay, and I appreciate that, but…
Rory: You want me to become some green-eyed monster and watch your every move and do everything in my power to keep you and Cathy away from each other?
Dean: No. It just seems that the normal way this would work is that you would have a little bit of a problem with it and we would talk about it and I would reassure you that there was nothing to worry about and then we would kiss and make up and be happy.
Rory: (Smiling.)Tell you what, we can skip all that beginning stuff because I already know there's nothing to worry about, so why don't we just go to the kiss and make up and be happy part.
Dean: (Smiling) Sounds good to me. (They kiss.)
Dean: Wait. I get it.
Rory: Get what? Dean, I thought we finished this. We got to the kissing part. I was one foot into the happy part, and now you're going back to an argument?
Dean: Rory, I need to know this. Are you just acting this way to show me that I shouldn't worry about your friendship with Jess.
Rory: Now we're back in the Jess argument. No, Dean. Jess has nothing to do with this. He has nothing to do with anything. Why is my trusting you so hard for you to believe when you say that you trust me? I do trust you and I have no reason not to trust Cathy, so I don't have a problem.
Dean: Are you saying there's a reason for me not to trust Jess?
Rory: No. I'm saying that you think there's a reason for you not to trust Jess. I know you don't trust him.
Dean: I don't.
Rory: So that's what I meant. But anyway, this has nothing to do with Jess, and I would really like it if we stopped talking about this already. I don't like to argue with you.
Dean: Neither do I.
Rory: Well you're doing it quite often.
Dean: I'm sorry.
Rory: Me too.
Dean: I love you.
Rory: I love you too. (They kiss) Now you really do need a shower.
Dean: I'm going. (He goes into his house.)
(Later at Luke's. Lorelai, Rory, Christopher, and Dean walk in. Jess is working the diner. He walks over.)
Jess: What do you want?
Lorelai: Hey. I'm fine. How are you? That's good.
Jess: Do I look like Luke?
Lorelai: Well you're getting more like him each day.
Jess: Should I pull back out the flannel and the cap?
Lorelai: I think you might have to.
Jess: (looks to Rory and Dean) Hey.
Rory: Hi. (Dean rolls his eyes.)
(Jess looks at Christopher.)
Rory: Oh, dad, this is my friend Jess. Jess, this is my dad. (Jess nods.)
Christopher: I've heard a lot about you.
Jess: Well my fan club has a good PR committeee.
Lorelai: (tucking her hair behind her ear) So Jess, uh, where's Luke?
(Just as she says this, Luke busts in.)
Jess: Speak of the devil. (to Luke) I'm out. (Luke nods. He puts on his apron and Jess hands him the pad and pen. Luke motions to Lorelai that he'll be right back and goes upstairs.)
Christopher: So that was Jess.
Lorelai: Quite a kid, huh.
Christopher: I don't like him.
Dean: Get in line.
(Luke comes down and over to their table.)
Luke: What do you want?
Lorelai: I see the service here can't get any better. What happened to you?
Luke: My cousin Franny. Remember Petey?
Lorelai: Gorgeous Petey?
Luke: That's the one. He died. She called me last night in hysterics. She wanted to give him a funeral and she figured if I arranged the funeral for my uncle, I shouldn't mind coming to help with Petey's. No one else wanted to do it. I mean, it's crazy. But it meant a lot to her so what was I supposed to do? I left early this morning. We had the wake, funeral service, and burial, and I just got back now.
Lorelai: Wow. Some day. So what did you do about the diner?
Luke: Jess had to handle it today. I figured missing one day of school wouldn't hurt him, and it was important, sort of important, in an unimportant sort of way. So what'll it be? (He notices Christopher and nods.) Hey.
Christopher: Hey. (Christopher extends his hand and Luke takes it.)
Luke: What can I get you?
Christopher: Rory?
Rory: Um, let's see, I'll have the Thursday special.
Lorelai: Ooh, that sounds good. I'll get that too, with extra peppers.
Rory: Mine too.
Dean: I guess I'll have the same.
Christopher: Make that four.
Luke: Okay. (Leaves.)
Christopher: Now this is interesting. I know this is your home away from home. You've been gone for six weeks and you obviously haven't been here all day and yet not a single "welcome back."
Lorelai: Well, you see how they rank here on the politeness scale.
Rory: Luke just came back from a hard day. He probably hasn't realized anything.
Christopher: Do you really want me to go over there right now and ask him or will you just tell me the truth?
Rory: Okay, okay. I really got back yesterday, but I knew mom would have liked for us to spend time just the two of us my first day back. I also knew it meant a lot to you to be here my first day back, so I figured if I had two first days back I could please both of you.
Lorelai: Take it easy on her. She tried.
Christopher: Rory, it's okay. You should have told me. I would have understood.
Lorelai: (Whispering) I told you so.
Rory: I know, I know. I'm sorry.
Christopher: Don't worry about it. I appreciate the thought. Now could someone explain the Petey thing?
Lorelai: Petey is Luke's cousin Franny's parrot.
Christopher: A parrot?
Rory: A parrot.
Christopher: You sure you don't want to go to Boston?
Lorelai: I'm even surer now.
Christopher: So Dean, how'd you like the car?
Dean: It looks good. A little different, but good.
Rory: You knew about the car.
Christopher: Yeah. I ran it by him at Sookie's wedding.
Rory: Mom, did you know about this?
Lorelai: No. And I'm starting to get offended by that.
Christopher: I didn't tell you because, like I told Rory, you can't keep a secret up for long.
Lorelai: Yes I can.
Christopher: You can't.
Lorelai: Can t—
(Luke comes over with the plates.)
Luke: (handing Rory a roll.) Shove this in her mouth already.
(Later. Outside Gilmore residence)
Christopher: Well, I have to head back to Boston.
Rory: Thanks so much for coming.
Christopher: Hey, I wanted to be here. (He gives her a hug.)
Rory: Oh wait, I have your souvenir inside. (Rory and Dean go into the house.)
Lorelai: So good luck with Sherry.
Christopher: Yeah. Thanks. You sure you don't want to think about what I said.
Lorelai: Oh I'll definitely think about it, but it's not going to happen.
Christopher: Why does this feel like that scene from Casablanca?
Lorelai: (playing along) If Sherry has that baby and you're not with her, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
Christopher: (playing along) What about us?
Lorelai: We'll always have Paris.
Christopher: That crazy girl Rory goes to school with?
Lorelai: Okay, let me try that again. Let's see. Well, we'll always have Rory.
Christopher: (smiles) Yeah. Well, here's looking at you, kid.
Lorelai: Hey, that's my line.
(Rory comes out with a bag.)
Rory: Here it is. And I gave you some of the pictures so you could show Sherry.
Christopher: (hugs Rory again.) Thank you. I love you, you know that right?
Rory: Yes, I do. I love you too, dad. (He shakes Dean's hand, gets into the car, pulls out, waves one last itme, and leaves.)
Rory: (to Lorelai) You okay?
Lorelai: Yeah. I'm fine. So what do you two have planned for tonight?
Rory: Nothing much. Walk around, talk, catch up. Are you going to be all right?
Lorelai: Yeah, I'm just going to return the videos, pick up some new ones, and hopefully fall asleep on the couch again. You two go have fun.
Rory: Okay then. Bye mom.
(Later. Lorelai enters Luke's.)
Luke: Coffee?
Lorelai: Yep.
Luke: 'Chris leave already?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: So where's Rory?
Lorelai: Out with Dean. Luke, what time did you leave this morning?
Luke: Around six o' clock? Why?
Lorelai: And Jess opened the diner?
Luke: Yeah. Why?
Lorelai: He never left?
Luke: No. Why?
Lorelai: Are you sure about that?
Luke: Yeah. Caesar told me. Jess was here the whole time. Are you ever going to tell me why you're asking all this? Did Taylor accuse Jess of something?
Lorelai: No. I was just wondering. That must have been a long day for him.
Luke: Yeah. That's why I let him leave as soon as I came in. (He hands her the coffee.)
Lorelai: So how was the parrot funeral?
Luke: What you can expect of a parrot funeral.
Lorelai: What was the attendance? Mostly parakeets, cockatoos.
Luke: Well, their owners. Someone actually gave a eulogy.
Lorelai: And I thought it didn't get any crazier than Stars Hollow. I can't picture you at a funeral for a parrot.
Luke: I'm trying to kill the memory myself.
Lorelai: Oh come on, you cried, didn't you?
Luke: It was a parrot.
Lorelai: You were just sitting there thinking how you would never again hear "Gorgeous, Petey, gorgeous, Petey."
Luke: Thank God.
Lorelai: Your tear ducts started to swell, eyes started to water…
Luke: I didn't cry.
Lorelai: Then that eulogy started and you were balling.
Luke: Fine, yes. I cried like a baby. Heck, I'm the one that gave the eulogy. Have it your way.
Lorelai: And the truth comes out.
(Rory and Dean are walking.)
Dean: Today turned out really well.
Rory: What do you mean?
Dean: It's like things have gone back to the way they were. You're back. You went to one of my softball games again. You've got the car back. We're here alone, talking like we used to. It's perfect.
Rory: It is perfect. Dean, we have to talk.
Dean: We've been talking.
Rory: I mean, I have something to tell you.
Dean: What is it?
Rory: First I want to tell you I love you.
Dean: I love you too.
Rory: And I think we should break up.
Dean: What?!
Rory: It's just, I've been thinking, and you're right. This moment is perfect right now, so it seemed like the time.
Dean: What?!
Rory: You yourself said it, Dean. We haven't had a moment like this in a while. Things have really changed, and I learned today that you really can't turn back the clock. It just blows up in your face, and I don't want this to blow up in my face. I love you.
Dean: Yeah, you said that, and I said I love you too. So explain to me why anything would blow up in your face and why you want to break up.
Rory: Dean, we've been fighting a lot. And in the end we make up and everything is fine. But what about that day when we fight and we can't make up in the end and we break up angry and hating each other. I don't want that to happen to us.
Dean: Who's to say that day is ever going to happen? You're throwing away a lot on a hypothetical.
Rory: It's not a hypothetical. Some day we will break up and do you want to break up on that day when we argue and end up hating each other or a day like today when everything is perfect and we've both said we love each other. We break up like this and there's always the chance that we find our way back to each other.
Dean: I still don't understand why we have to break up. This is about Jess isn't it?
Rory: This is not about Jess, it's about me. About us. Please don't bring this back to that argument.
Dean: Rory, you're going to have to give me more than 'we're going to break up someday so let's just make it today.'
Rory: It's not just someday. I see it happening already. We're growing apart, Dean.
Dean: But just now we were…
Rory: Just now we were great, we were totally together, but only for a moment. And maybe it was the time apart that helped create this moment, and maybe some more time apart will help us come back together for longer than a moment.
(Silence)
Dean: (exhales) You're right.
Rory: Really?
Dean: Yeah. We were going apart. I was so afraid I was losing you, like we were slipping out of each other's hands. But maybe letting go is the only way. It's just hard.
Rory: I know. It's hard for me too.
Dean: So what do we do now?
Rory: We hug and we go home. (They hug.)
Dean: I love you, Rory.
Rory: I love you, too.
(Later. Gilmore Residence. Lorelai is watching TV eating icecream. Rory comes in, looking depressed.)
Lorelai: Rory, we need to talk.
Rory: Not now, mom.
Lorelai: Yes now. Why did you lie to me?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You said Jess dropped by the house this morning on his way to school to give you that (she points to the book light.) That's a lie. Why did you lie, and what really happened?
Rory: Jess gave that to me last night. I went to see him after Dean left and you went to bed. I lied because I didn't want you to make a big deal of the thing. I'm going to my room, now.
Lorelai: I'm not finished. Rory, what has gotten into you? You're lying now? To me? Don't you think sneaking out of the house to see a guy who isn't your boyfriend is a big deal? And if it wasn't then why would you lie about it?
Rory: I don't know. I just wanted to see him. I had seen everyone but him, and he is my friend. I mean, I went through security guards to see Lane, so I felt guilty not making it a point to see him the day I got back. But everytime I mention Jess' name to you and Dean it starts an argument, and I didn't want to argue. I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry about everything, now can I just go to my room. (She's about to cry.)
Lorelai: Hon, what's wrong?
Rory: Dean and I broke up.
Lorelai: What happened?
Rory: Nothing. I don't want to talk about it right now.
(Next day. Luke's.)
Lorelai: Are you going to give me a hard time about wallowing this time?
Rory: No. I'll have strawberry pancakes with the works.
Lorelai: Good. So you're sure it was just a mutual, we're growing apart, let's end as friends thing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Dean wasn't cheating with Cathy?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: You weren't…where's Luke?
Luke: (turning around from another table.) Right here. Strawberry pancakes with the works, and what about you?
Lorelai: I'll have the same. (looks to Rory) Solidarity. (Rory smiles.)
Luke: So you two broke up?
Rory: Yeah.
Luke: You're okay?
Rory: I guess so.
Lorelai: No fighting necessary. Dean can eat here whenever he wants, though he probably won't for a while.
Rory: Probably not.
(Lorelai notices that Jess has been not too far away the whole time. He gets up and leaves.)
Lorelai: Um, I'll be right back. I forgot something. Don't drink my coffee.
Rory: I won't but if someone else does, I'm not going to stop them.
Lorelai: No one but you would like coffee the way I like it. Don't touch. (She leaves.)
Lorelai: Jess.
Jess: (turns around.) Ah, Miss Gilmore.
Lorelai: We need to talk.
Jess: I'm on my way to school. Last day.
Lorelai: You can be a little late.
Jess: I could.
Lorelai: I take it you heard the news.
Jess: Yeah, it's a shame. All those little kids in that bus. When will there be peace?
Lorelai: Put away that smart act for a second, will you?
Jess: Yeah, Rory and Dean broke up. So what?
Lorelai: I just want you to know that Rory is miserable right now. She doesn't need you messing with her. So just leave here alone. You're lucky to have her as a friend after all you put her through. This is not a window of opportunity, okay? Don't push it.
Jess: I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything. I guess it never did occur to you and Dean that Rory just might have a mind of her own.
Lorelai: Don't play innocent with me. Don't think I haven't noticed what you've been doing. You go around making Rory think you're some sort of oyster who's really good and special on the inside. You do everything in your power to provoke Dean and make him look like some horrible monster in front of Rory and then you take her to bookstores after so she can think you're the good guy. You steal the bracelet Dean made for her, wreck the car he made for her, everything to erase Dean from the picture and move yourself forward. And you've just been waiting for the day when she sinks into your trap and breaks up with Dean. But all you're doing is hurting her. She didn't want any of this and now she's miserable.
Jess: Well that's some plan I had there. I must be a really smart guy. And the apology and the computer thing with the coffee and brownies, I was just doing that to get on your good side because I knew that was the last link to Rory's heart. But hey, who are we kidding? I don't want to get into Rory's heart, just her pants. Isn't that right, Miss Gilmore?
(Lorelai slaps Jess.)
Jess: (nods) Good day, Miss Gilmore. (He turns and leaves.)
The End
