((Well, I had to do a sequel to 'The Real Fred Weasley', and all of a sudden I heard 'Without Me' on the radio. Here you have the product! This goes out to everyone who reviewed 'The Real Fred Weasley' and to Sia-Nacht for her hilarious Aegwyne Eminem parodies!))


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"Hey Fred, it's been a year since your hit performance at the talent show last year," commented George Weasley, plopping down on the couch next to his twin. "Everyone's wondering what you're going to do this year."

"Actually, I wasn't really planning on entering," Fred replied, frowning.

George shrugged. "Your choice." He got up to leave, but Fred's hand shot up and grabbed his shoulder. "Fred?"

"You're not going anywhere until you help me with something."

*~*

"George, everything ready?"

"Yeah, I think so," came a voice from the side of the stage. It was the night of the talent show, and the opening act was nothing less than Fred Weasley's answer to the demand for a repeat of his "The Real Fred Weasley".

"Thank you, my dear man. Now watch your brother work."

The curtains went up.



"2 Ravenclaw girls go round the outside/ round the outside, round the outside
2 Ravenclaw girls go round the outside/ round the outside, round the outside ..."


George nudged Ron, and they both began thier part, Ron looking a bit agitated.

"Guess whos back, back again
/ Freddy's back, tell a friend/
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back/ Guess who's back... "


Fred ignored his little brother's reluctance and began catering to an anxious audience.

"I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
see George no more they want Fred I'm chopped liver
("Hey!" No one paid attention to the other Weasley twin's protest.)
well if you want Freddy, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of mischief mixed with some hard liquor
some pranks that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a shock
when I get shocked at the hospital wing by Pomfrey when I'm not cooperating
when I'm rocking the table while she's operating
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back, I'm on the joke and mischief-making
I know that you got a job Ms. Malfoy but your husbands heart problem's complicating
So the Slytherins wont let me be or let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut it all down on me, but it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, canary creams, screw that, my name on your lips and some of your fits and get ready cuz the joke's about to get heavy
we just settled all our lawsuits Fuck YOU LUDO! "

Fred smirked. Oh, did Malfoy and Bagman look livid.

"Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me "

The audienc was howling. Only the Slytherins looked unhappy with Fred's performance.

"Little Hufflepuff kids feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their Head of House listens to Elvis
they start feeling the prisoners helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "Divination time"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a Trelawney, pollutin the air waves a rebel
so let me just revel an ask, the fact that I got everyone askin my tricks
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my stuff you ask for me?
Well I'm back ( ::George jumps up and the teo make Batman noises:: ) fix your bent wand and tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 knuts my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?"

Oh yeah. By the look on Trewlaney's face at the vision part, Fred was pretty sure he wasn't passing Divination this year.

"Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me."

By the look on everyone's faces, Fred was pretty sure he was having too much fun. Well, they HAD asked for it, after all.

"A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talk this shit that shit.
Damned Malfoys, you can get your asses kicked
worse than them little other Slytherin bastards, and Bagman
you can get stomped by Creevy, you fifty someting year old bald headed jerk bite me