By Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay.
A/N: First and foremost as always THANKS to my readers and reviewers. You're the best. This is the countdown to the end. The Season Finale is the 15th chapter (I think). This was another hard one but I hope you like it. I know I've been saying that a lot. I guess it gets harder as you near the end. I can't believe it's 10 chapters already. Once again thanks to my little review group. I couldn't have done it without your support.
(Lorelai and Rory walking to Luke's)
Lorelai: So you have a stalker now.
Rory: I've had her for a while, actually. But now I'm thinking of filing a report.
Lorelai: Get a restraining order.
Rory: It would be hard, though, since we're in the same school.
Lorelai: Maybe they could send you to another school, a boarding school far away where they give you a new name and a bad wig and erase your former identity completely.
Rory: Sounds almost like a college sorority.
Lorelai: So did you at least have fun?
Rory: Yeah. We had a good time. Paris really isn't bad once she loosens up.
Lorelai: Is that physically possible for her?
Rory: Only at brief intervals. So how was it with Luke? Is he okay now?
Lorelai: Yeah, I think he is. Turns out his problem wasn't anything I expected.
Rory: What was it?
Lorelai: Apparently, it's that Rachel was ready to settle down the last time she was here, but he wasn't ready for her. She told him not to wait too long to settle down with someone and he's just realizing how long it's been. Here Rachel is settling down and getting married and Luke's still alone without even a date for the evening.
Rory: (teasing) Last night looked pretty much like a date to me.
Lorelai: You are not a funny jester. You do not please us. We will send you to the stocks.
(they enter Luke's.)
Luke: What can I get you?
Lorelai: Lots and lots of coffee. A whole barrel.
Luke: You know I'm not going to do that.
Lorelai: You don't understand. Rory's going away to a boarding school to get away from her stalker and she'll never be able to drink coffee again.
Luke: You should enroll yourself.
Rory: Misery does love company.
Lorelai: (to Luke) You'd miss me too much.
Luke: I'll live.
Lorelai: The whole town would pine away.
Rory: Yep.
Luke: Is this going anywhere?
Lorelai: Coffee.
(Jess comes from out of nowhere and fills up two cups.)
Luke: Where'd you come from?
Jess: I was here.
Luke: How come I didn't see you?
Jess: Guess you weren't paying attention. (He walks to refill other cups, then goes to the register. Rory walks over.)
Rory: Hey.
Jess: Hey.
Rory: So have you told Luke yet?
Jess: No.
Rory: You said you were going to tell Luke.
Jess: No. You said you thought I should tell Luke and I said okay. I was just acknowledging your thought.
Rory: Jess, tell him.
Jess: Look, we're not really in the sharing stage of our relationship yet. In fact, we just recently got out of the scaring stage so it might take a while.
Rory: You have to tell him.
Jess: I'm not going, so what difference does it make?
Rory: Do you think you should be making that decision on your own?
Jess: It's my life.
Rory: No man is an island.
Jess: I think we should return to being the non-sharing friends.
Rory: Jess, you trusted me enough to share that. Now don't you think you should trust me on this and tell Luke.
Jess: Fine. I'll tell him, but I've made up my mind already.
Rory: But you can change your mind. You've done it before.
Jess: Do you want me to change my mind?
Rory: It's not that. I just think you should explore your options.
Jess: Hmm. And if I explore these options and decide I should take a shot with my father?
Rory: If Luke and your mom think it's a good idea and you want to do it, then that would be grounds to change your mind.
Lorelai: Change your mind about what?
Jess: About the apron. Rory thinks it brings out the color of my eyes. What do you think?
Lorelai: Uh, I think I have to get to work. I'll see you later, hon.
Jess: Okay, sugar. (Lorelai gives Jess a nasty look. Rory smiles uncomfortably.)
Rory: Wait. I'll walk with you, mom. Bye, Jess.
Jess: Yeah.
(Outside.)
Lorelai: What were you two talking about?
Rory: I really can't tell you. It was said in confidence. You'll probably hear about it later though.
Lorelai: If it's about you and Jess, I'd rather here it from you.
Rory: It's not about me and Jess.
Lorelai: I don't like you keeping secrets from me, Rory. This is not supposed to be us.
Rory: I know, mom. But it's not my secret. It's Jess's and so I can't tell it. But I'm pretty sure it won't be a secret for long.
Lorelai: All right. Whatever. I have to go, but I'll call you. You want to meet me for lunch?
Rory: Sure. Sounds great. Oh wait. I have to meet Paris to finish up the article.
Lorelai: I feel so sorry for you. An afternoon with Paris. An evening with grams and gramps.
Rory: Hey, I can invite Paris to have lunch with us.
Lorelai: Uh, yeah, you know, I just remembered…
Rory: Uh huh. Sure. I know.
(Luke's. Luke is upstairs looking for something. Jess comes up.)
Jess: What are you doing?
Luke: Looking for the checkbook. Do you know where it is? Please tell me you don't.
Jess: I don't.
Luke: What are you doing up here?
Jess: I had to tell you something.
Luke: What?
Jess: (pauses) The checkbook's in that drawer there. (He leaves.)
(Independence Inn. Lorelai comes in.)
Sookie: Lorelai! I have some bad and good news for you.
Lorelai: Good news first. I can't take bad news in the morning.
Sookie: I can't say the good news before I say the bad news.
Lorelai: Why not?
Sookie: Because the good news is the result of the bad news.
Lorelai: Then the bad news can't be that bad.
Sookie: It's pretty bad.
Lorelai: Does the good news make up for the bad news or does the bad news overshadow the good?
Michel: Just say it already!
Sookie: Okay, Fran died.
Lorelai: What?!
Sookie: Yeah.
Lorelai: Oh my God…(recovers from the shock. Not enthused) And I guess the good news is we can buy the inn.
Sookie: No.
Lorelai: We can't?
Sookie: We don't have to. She left it to us. Apparently she felt her time was coming.
Lorelai: Ugh. She was always the sweetest thing. I can't believe she's dead.
Sookie: I know.
Lorelai: How can we celebrate the good news with this bad news?
Sookie: I don't think we can.
Lorelai: She was just such a part of Stars Hollow. I mean, she lived here since forever. She was like everybody's grandmother.
Sookie: I know.
Lorelai: She didn't have any family, did she?
Sookie: No.
Lorelai: So what are they doing for her?
Sookie: Taylor's taking up a collection for her funeral. It's supposed to be simple. I'm sure everyone's going to go and there's going to be lots of food, courtesy of yours truly
Lorelai: It just doesn't seem like enough, though, does it?
Sookie: What did you have in mind?
Lorelai: I don't know, but I'll think of something.
(Gilmore Residence. The doorbell rings and Rory goes to answer it.)
Rory: Hey Paris!
Paris: We're going to have to rewrite the article.
Rory: What?
Paris: It's too restricted. It's a "you had to be there to know what we're talking about" article. The purpose of journalism is to try to bring the event as it happens to the reader.
Rory: Which is virtually impossible.
Paris: It's not impossible. If you think like a teenager, you're going to write like a teenager.
Rory: I don't mean it's impossible for us. It's impossible for anybody. The purpose of journalism is to provide a perspective, an informed perspective. We've done that. That we couldn't quite describe the smell inside Ford's Theater is really not important.
Paris: Where are the pictures?
Rory: She immediately finds something else to worry about. Must you always obsess about something?
Paris: Spare me the "smell the roses" speech. We have work to do.
Rory: Fine. Here are the pictures.
Paris: This one definitely won't do.
Rory: Oh, that's not from Washington. My mom took a picture of her foot. Sorry about that. (She takes the picture from the stack.)
(Luke's. Jess walks over as Luke is going over bills.)
Luke: Can you believe all the long distance charges on this phone bill, just to leave a message on your mother's answering machine? I should call her up and tell her she has to pay these.
Jess: Before you do that, I have to talk to you.
Luke: What is it?
Jess: It's nothing, really. It's just that my dad came back to New York and wants me to go over this weekend. He wants me to live with him. I'm not going, though, but I thought you should know, in case Liz brings it up or something.
Luke: What did your mom say about this?
Jess: Not much. She says it's up to me, and I've made my choice.
Luke: Are you sure about this?
Jess: Yeah. What, you think I should go?
Luke: I'm not saying you should live with the guy, but he is your father. You should see him. Who knows? He may have straightened himself out and you may even want to live with him, if your mom is okay with it and all. I mean, she's always just looked for what's best for you. If you go for the weekend and decide you've had enough of it all, you always have your room upstairs, but he is your father. You should see him.
Jess: Yeah, you said that. You know what, you're right. I'm going to start packing.
Luke: Good. Let me know if you need help. (Jess goes upstairs. Luke stares out into space, sighs, and returns to his bills.)
(Rory and Paris, taking a lunch break.)
Rory: So we're pretty much done with the layout, don't you think?
Paris: I don't know. It looks too much like People and not so much like the Times.
Rory: Okay, we finally found a way to incorporate all the pictures you wanted in this thing and now you're complaining about there being too many? If we would have dropped some pictures in the first place like I told you…
Paris: All right, all right. It's fine. We need those pictures in there. Anyway, it doesn't matter if there's a lot of photos as long as there's three times as much of an article.
Rory: And we certainly have that.
Paris: So I guess we're done.
Rory: Care for a victory egg roll?
Paris: Why not? (Rory puts the egg roll in the microwave.)
Rory: So have you heard from Phil?
Paris: We talk once in a while. What about you and Jess?
Rory: What about me and Jess?
Paris: Let's see. You kissed Jess, broke up with Dean, the rest is pretty much sequential.
Rory: No. Jess and I are just friends.
Paris: To thine own self be true.
Rory: That's it. No more egg roll for you. (She takes Paris' egg roll from the microwave and bites into it herself.)
(Later. Lorelai and Rory are walking to Luke's.)
Rory: Don't you think whatever it is should be at the Dragonfly?
Lorelai: Yeah. She did say she considered it her only family. But what would we do and how would we do it?
Rory: Hey. I've got an idea. Everyone knows that she left you the Dragonfly and everyone knows you're looking to open your own inn, so why don't you do a renaming ceremony? Leave the Dragonfly sign up there, but add another sign with the inn's new name—Fran's Inn.
Lorelai: Name the inn after her?
Rory: That way she'll always be a landmark in Stars Hollow. And it also gives you the opportunity to commemorate the good news.
Lorelai: That's a good idea. But two signs?
Rory: Look at the place we're going to.
Lorelai: Point taken. That's a great idea. I'll get right on it.
Rory: Good.
(They go inside the diner. Luke is busy balancing plates and running back and forth. He looks tired and stressed. They wait at a table and watch Luke run back and forth.)
Rory: Luke's totally alone today. I wonder what happened.
Lorelai: Jess must be doing his hair.
(Luke comes over.)
Luke: What can I get you? And make it quick.
Lorelai: Okay, um, chicken and fries with mac and cheese.
Rory: Same for me.
Lorelai: What's going on?
Luke: Caesar had an emergency and Jess is packing. I'll be right back with your order. (leaves)
Lorelai: Packing?
Rory: That was the secret. I guess I can tell you now. Jess' father came to New York and wanted to see him. He wants Jess to live with him.
Lorelai: So Jess is moving?
Rory: I don't know. He could just be going to visit for the weekend. He wasn't really too happy about it.
Lorelai: Is he ever happy about anything?
(Luke comes over with coffees.)
Lorelai: So is he just going for the weekend or permanently?
Luke: How did you know about it? Oh wait, never mind. Just the weekend. Gotta go. (Luke leaves again.)
Rory: He's pretty fast.
Lorelai: I know. It feels weird this fast pace.
Rory: Feels like New York.
Lorelai: You have to stop reminding me about that.
Rory: Sorry. So how did you get us out of dinner with grandma?
Lorelai: I told her about Fran, and invited them to the funeral, that way they still get to see you this week.
Rory: Nothing like a funeral to bring people together.
(Gilmore Residence.)
Lorelai: (on the phone.) Isn't it a great idea?…So you think you can get the sign done?…How do you like the name?…So I'll work on a guest list, getting word around, decorations, and what not…Oh, that'd be great…Thanks so much, Sookie…I'll see you tomorrow…Bye. (hangs up.)
Rory: So she liked the idea.
Lorelai: This is Sookie we're talking about. She loved it.
Rory: I wonder if we can get a real nice picture of Fran and blow it up and frame it and hang it up in the Dragonfly.
Lorelai: Sookie would really love that. But we haven't prepared the inside and it's too much to do for the weekend.
Rory: That's true. I just can't believe she's dead. She's just one of those people you think will never die, like Dick Clark.
Lorelai: I know. I feel sort of guilty now even having thought about it when Sookie and I were inquiring about the Dragonfly.
Rory: You only thought about it like that because you didn't really think it would happen.
Lorelai: I guess so. God, everything's going to be different now.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: Amazing the effect one person has on this town.
Rory: I know.
(Luke's. Luke goes upstairs and finds Jess packing.)
Luke: How's it going?
Jess: Okay.
Luke: Don't you think you're packing a little too much for just a weekend.
Jess: Who said I was just going for the weekend?
Luke: You can't afford to stay longer. School starts next week.
Jess: Do I have to spell it out for you?
Luke: You're moving with your father?
Jess: Now you're getting it.
Luke: So you were just going to leave and not tell me?
Jess: I believe I'm telling you now.
Luke: How do you know this is the right move? You haven't even met the guy?
Jess: I've known him for about 15 years of my life.
Luke: Yeah, but he split on you guys and for two years you didn't know where he was and all of a sudden he comes out of the blue, says he wants you to live with him and you're just going to go?
Jess: You didn't seem to have a problem with it before. Might I remind you, you suggested it.
Luke: I just said I thought you should see him and measure him out. Then come back and make your decision.
Jess: Well, I don't need to do all that. This seems as good a decision as any. Neither you nor my mom have to put up with me, I don't have to put up with the two of you, I get out of this stupid town, my dad will probably keep me for only so long before he sends me to some aunt in Tennessee or something. By the end of it all, I'll have probably traveled throughout the US. It's always good to travel. The way I see it, it works out for everybody.
Luke: You know what? Fine. If that's the way you want it.
Jess: Could you sit on my suitcase? (Luke looks angrily at Jess and leaves.)
(Next day. Gilmore Residence.)
Lorelai: Thank you so much, Patty. I really appreciate it. I'll see you later. Buh bye.
Rory: Who are we going to get to do the eulogy?
Lorelai: Taylor insisted he give the eulogy as the representative of Stars Hollow and its businesses.
Rory: Such a humble offer.
Lorelai: What can I say, the man can surprise you.
(The doorbell rings.)
Rory: I'll get it. (She goes and gets the door.) Hey Sookie. Come in.
Sookie: Hey Rory. Thanks. (Lorelai comes over.)
Lorelai: Sookie. Great. I just spoke to Miss Patty and she's got the word all spread already. I called Mia and she won't be able to make it but she sends all her best. Taylor's giving the eulogy. I've already made all the funeral arrangements, casket and everything.
Sookie: Okay. Good. I already put in for the sign. The guy worked all night and it's already ready. Jackson's going to pick it up. It doesn't have to be the permanent sign if you don't like it, but it works for the ceremony. All we have to work on is a menu.
Lorelai: Great. So why don't we get some lunch so we can sort out all the tiny details?
Sookie: Sure.
(Sookie, Lorelai, and Rory walk out the door to go to Luke's.)
(At Luke's. Luke is angrily scrubbing the counter.)
Lorelai: What did the counter do to you?
Luke: What are you having?
Lorelai: Omelets and hash browns and a raspberry donut.
Rory: Ooo, me too.
Sookie: I'll have the same, minus the donut.
Luke: Okay. (goes to prepare their order.)
Rory: You don't think Luke's upset about the Rachel thing again, do you?
Lorelai: I don't know, but I doubt it. Should I put on the Gilmore charm again?
Rory: Obviously the effects don't last that long.
Sookie: Okay, what are we talking about?
Rory: Luke was in a funk a few days ago, but we thought mom snapped him out of it. Now he's back in it.
Sookie: I see. Maybe it's Fran.
Lorelai: I didn't think it would hit him that hard. But come to think of it, it might be. I mean, he was just worried about the tiny bed, ending up alone. He and his sister aren't on the best terms. Fran died alone with no children or siblings. She too was in the culinary business.
Sookie: Oh my God, and if we make the Dragonfly into the two sign thing like Luke's, that will just remind him of the comparison. What if this isn't a good idea?
Lorelai: No, Sookie. It is a good idea. We're not just going to start reworking our plans because Luke is in a funk. We don't even know if it has to do with Fran. (Luke comes over.)
Luke: So how's it going with Fran's funeral?
Lorelai: It's going. Did you hear about the Dragonfly?
Luke: Yeah. I think it's a great idea.
Sookie: (exhales in relief) Oh, thank God. Thank you, Luke. (Luke looks at Sookie, puzzled.)
Lorelai: So what's bugging you?
Luke: It's nothing. I've just been busy with the diner and I've been helping Jess pack his stuff. He leaves tonight.
Lorelai: So I guess he's going to miss the funeral, not that I think he cared.
Luke: He's going to miss everything that happens from tonight on. He's staying with his father.
Lorelai and Rory: What?!
Luke: Yeah. (Jess comes downstairs.) Jess, your bus leaves at eight. Let your dad know so he can pick you up.
Jess: Okay. (about to leave.)
Luke: Where are you going?
Jess: To pick up some more tape. I'm coming back.
Luke: You're coming back to work.
Jess: Right. (leaves.)
Rory: Excuse me, mom, Sookie.
Lorelai: Where are you going?
Rory: I have to talk to Jess for a second. (Rory leaves.)
(Outside.)
Rory: Hey.
Jess: What?
Rory: You're leaving?
Jess: To get some tape.
Rory: With your father?
Jess: No. By myself. He's in New York. I'm just going around the corner.
Rory: Stop it, Jess. Why?
Jess: Why not?
Rory: Luke said you should do this?
Jess: He said what everybody else said. If so and so thinks it's okay, it's up to you.
Rory: So you're choosing this?
Jess: Well I'm not being forced.
Rory: Why? I thought you didn't want to go.
Jess: I changed my mind. I've done it before.
Rory: So what made you change your mind?
Jess: I'm tired of this stupid town. Any place is better than here.
Rory: You know…you…(angrily) if this town is so stupid and you hate it so much, why did you come back here?
Jess: I don't owe you any explanations.
Rory: Well if you leave this time, make sure it's for good.
Jess: Don't worry. It will be. (he turns and leaves. Rory looks on after him, angry and hurt. She busts back into the diner.)
Lorelai: (not noticing Rory's energetic return.) Well, nothing too big because we're not setting up tables or anything. Something people can balance on a plate standing up or sitting down on a folding chair.
Sookie: (equally oblivious.) So you're talking more like appetizer-type stuff.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: (calmed down) So what have we decided?
Lorelai: That Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger should never tour together.
Rory: Uh huh. And how did they end up in a discussion about a menu?
Sookie: We were trying to decide the effect we wanted the hors d'oeuvres to have.
Lorelai: Yeah. Because you see, you want to first visualize the outcome and then figure out how to get there.
Sookie: Right. So we started thinking about mouths watering, licking of lips, and all that.
Lorelai: Then we thought of lips that didn't look so attractive watery…
Rory: 'Nuff said. I think I can figure out the rest.
Sookie: I just thought of something. We're going to need a speech.
Lorelai: No. Taylor's doing the eulogy. Didn't I tell you?
Sookie: No, no. For the unveiling of the sign. One of us is going to have to say a speech. Please say the speech. I'm not a good public speaker. I stutter and I ramble.
Lorelai: Sookie, we don't have to say anything. We'll just get Taylor to introduce the whole thing in his eulogy. Then all we have to do is unveil the sign and stand like Vanna White.
Rory: No. I think you have to say something. I mean, she left the Inn to you, you're naming it after her. You should say something.
Lorelai: Your two cents are not accepted here. (She pretends as though she has change in her fingers and is handing it back to Rory.)
(Jess comes back into the diner. Rory shifts uncomfortably and lowers her head. Jess looks at her, then proceeds upstairs. Lorelai notices this.)
(Later. Gilmore residence.)
Lorelai: (holding two black dresses.) So which one do you think?
Rory: How are you going to do your hair?
Lorelai: Up I think.
Rory: Well, that one looks too "night on the town" –ish. The other one looks too Goody Gilmore –ish. Why don't you just wear what you wore to Louie's funeral.
Lorelai: Because this is Stars Hollow we're talking about. You don't think everyone still remembers what I wore to Louie's funeral and won't notice I'm wearing the same thing to Fran's? Next thing you know they'll be running a clothing drive for me. What are you wearing?
Rory: I don't know yet, but I'm not the one who has to make a speech.
Lorelai: No, you're making the speech. I'm just reading it.
Rory: Hey, that's not fair.
Lorelai: Come on. You write all those great Franklin articles. You can't write me one brief speech? Otherwise I'm going to look like some idiot orphan Annie up there who always wears the same clothes to every funeral and talks too fast and rambles too much and...
Rory: I'll get the violin.
Lorelai: And the cello, would you please?
Rory: No problem.
Lorelai: Seriously, Rory. What Fran did for me and Sookie was just the most amazing thing, and Stars Hollow was such a part of her and she was such a part of Stars Hollow. She deserves to go out with a bang. Everyone is going to be expecting a bang.
Rory: You're very good at banging. Mom, whatever you write, even if just two sentences, is going to be perfect. If Fran could trust you that much to leave you her family, that should be a base of assurance for you to trust yourself.
Lorelai: That's the kind of speechmaking skills this occasion needs.
Rory: Mom, you're doing it on your own.
Lorelai: Fine. One more question.
Rory: Shoot.
Lorelai: What happened with Jess today?
Rory: Nothing. It's just…well…anyway, what does it matter? He's leaving. He's probably gone already.
Lorelai: Did he do something to you?
Rory: No. We just got into an argument.
Lorelai: About what?
Rory: About him leaving.
Lorelai: You wanted him to stay?
Rory: No…well…it's not that. I was just questioning him and then he said he was leaving because he hated Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Then why'd he come back?
Rory: My same question. And then he said he didn't owe me any explanations. It's just that I thought we were friends and he just wasn't acting very friendly…friendlike…friendish.
Lorelai: So how did it end?
Rory: (sighs.) I told him if he left to make sure it was for good this time.
Lorelai: Ouch.
Rory: I know, I know. I feel terrible about it and I don't know why I said it…
Lorelai: No, hey. I'm proud of you.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: (inhales deeply) Okay. What did you tell him when he first told you about the whole dad thing?
Rory: I told him he should tell Luke.
Lorelai: Good. Anything else?
Rory: Well, he said it didn't matter because he wasn't going so I told him that he should explore his options.
Lorelai: Uh huh…
Rory: And if he liked the moving in with dad option, then he might change his mind.
Lorelai: Huh.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Well, I'm going out on a limb here but I think I know what's going on.
Rory: Is this going to be one of those ridiculous accusations that leads to an argument?
Lorelai: This is a truthful observation that may or may not lead to an argument. Look Rory, let's say that you and Jess are just friends.
Rory: We are just friends.
Lorelai: No, I mean that both of you want to be just friends.
Rory: Both of us do want to be just friends.
Lorelai: Fine, whatever. Jess has always hated this town and he made it very clear. The only one he has liked is you, so I think it's safe to assume that his coming back had something to do with you…
Rory: You know what they say about assuming.
Lorelai: Just friendship with you. That's all I'm saying. Now, he finds out this whole thing about his dad and maybe he's thinking about it. Maybe he's thinking, I don't belong in this town, my presence here doesn't mean anything to anyone, until then he thinks of you and he wonders if maybe his presence means something to you. So he decides to test his waters with you, tell you what happened and see whether or not you would discourage him. In typical Rory fashion however, you take the cool-headed rational approach to giving advice, and you give him sound advice separate from any of your feelings for him, feelings of friendship I mean. He's thinking you don't care if he leaves or not, so he decides there's no point in staying. The next day you find out by word of mouth that he's leaving and now your emotions start to rise. You're thinking the same thing he was the night before, that you mean nothing to him, and you feel hurt because you thought you were his friend. Hurt leads to anger and you both say things you don't mean. Basically what I'm saying, as much as I hate to say it, is that this whole argument wasn't because one or the other didn't care but because you both care so much.
Rory: (moment of silence) So what do I do now?
Lorelai: Let's go to Luke's.
Rory: Jess left already.
Lorelai: I know. But I'm hungry.
Rory: Luke's is closed. Remember, he was closing early to take Jess to the bus.
Lorelai: Yeah but he should be back by now. We'll force him to give us coffee and donuts.
Rory: I'd rather not, mom. I have to find something to wear for tomorrow.
Lorelai: Fine. Do you want me to bring you back some coffee?
Rory: Should it even be a question?
Lorelai: Gotcha.
(Lorelai walks to Luke's to find it open and functioning.)
Lorelai: Now I know you don't like to lose out on business, but I never would have expected this.
Luke: What are you having?
Lorelai: Uh, one coffee and brown sugar donut to stay and one to go.
Luke: (pours the coffee and picks the donut) Here you go.
Lorelai: So you're going to play the tough Mr. Backwards Baseball cap who doesn't miss his nephew at all.
Luke: What's there to miss?
Lorelai: Well, that's true, but I figured he lived with you. That's got to count for something.
Luke: No. I mean there's nothing to miss. He didn't leave.
Lorelai: What? What happened?
Luke: His father skipped off again. Didn't wait for him.
Lorelai: Wow. That's rough. So where is he?
Luke: I don't know. Around.
Lorelai: Shouldn't you be with him, talking to him?
Luke: I tried that. He didn't want to talk. The kid just needs his space.
Lorelai: I guess so. You're relieved aren't you?
Luke: Now I am, of course. Imagine him living with a guy who'd just skip off like that.
Lorelai: (rolls her eyes.) Okay. Fine.
Luke: How's it going with Fran's funeral?
Lorelai: Everything is settled but my speech…and my clothes.
Luke: You're making a speech?
Lorelai: If I can figure out what to say. It's for the unveiling of the sign.
Luke: What's so hard about that? Just say, this is the Dragonfly. Fran owned it. Now she's dead. Let's call it Fran's Inn.
Lorelai: I can imagine the standing ovation for that one.
Luke: Look, I've lived in this town my entire life. I know these people. They already know everything that's going on. You don't have to talk too much. If they like you, whatever you say is going to be great to them. Babette will even start crying. And I don't know how proud you want to be about this, but everybody likes you. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. Say what you have to say however you want to say it, and let the town do the rest.
Lorelai: Thanks. I think I needed that.
(Outside. Lorelai is leaving as Jess is returning to the diner.)
Lorelai: Jess.
Jess: Miss Gilmore.
Lorelai: Can we talk?
Jess: We can, unless you want to go straight to the smack down.
Lorelai: Why don't we start with talking and see where that goes?
Jess: Okay. What do you want?
Lorelai: I heard about your dad. I know it's tough.
Jess: Are you looking to have one of those moments where we share our feelings and cry and hug each other, eat chocolate for five hours and become best friends, because I'm really not interested. But if you feel it your Christian duty to ask, I'm fine.
Lorelai: Okay. I know you want to play your cool-tough-as-a-rock-nothing-gets-to-me-I'm-still-a-smart-ass act, but I want you to just hear me out for a second. What happened sucks. I've dreamed about a lot of ways to hurt you but even you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry.
Jess: I told you, it's all right. It's no big deal.
Lorelai: Fine. Whatever. I just want you to know, before you go on some self-pity trip where it's all about this whole town hates me and my mom doesn't care about me and my father ditched me, that there are people who care about you and are hurting with you because they care about you, and it wouldn't hurt if you just gave them a chance.
Jess: By people you mean Luke.
Lorelai: Well, yeah.
Jess: Look…okay.
Lorelai: Okay what?
Jess: I don't know. I just want to get this over with it. Are we done now?
Lorelai: You know, when I hear about you from other people, sometimes I feel sorry for you and I want to understand and like you, or at least be able to tolerate you without the nausea. But then I talk to you face to face and I just can't deal. Short and light conversations maybe, but then, the more I know first hand the more I don't like you.
Jess: Well I really don't want your pity, so you can save it. Just because I'm back in LeaveItToBeaverville doesn't mean we have to sing the Barney song to each other. So are we done now?
Lorelai: Yeah. I'm done. I'm done with you. Luke may have to put up with you, but I don't.
Jess: No you don't.
Lorelai: So I won't. (starts to leave, but turns back) And stay away from Rory. (She turns and leaves briskly and angrily.)
(The next day. The entire town is gathered outside the Dragonfly after the funeral. Lorelai and Rory are drinking punch. Rory is looking over Lorelai's shoulder.)
Rory: Grandma and Grandpa are coming.
Lorelai: Oh God. Why hasn't anyone spiked this punch yet?
Rory: I guess they thought it wasn't appropriate considering the circumstances.
Lorelai: Now why would anyone think that?
Rory: It's a crazy world we live in.
Emily: Lorelai, finally. You ran out after the funeral like there was a fire.
Lorelai: Hi mom, dad. I had to set up some last minute things before everyone showed up.
Rory: Mom's making a speech.
Emily: Dear God, not another speech. That eulogy nearly put Richard and me to sleep.
Richard: And I thought there was nothing more boring than Floyd's board meetings.
Lorelai: Well thanks for the encouragement. I feel so much better about having to do this now.
Emily: Oh stop it, Lorelai. It's nothing personal. I'm sure your speech is great.
Lorelai: Well it's brief.
Richard: Then it is great.
Sookie: Hey, Emily. Hi, Richard. Is everything okay?
Emily: Everything looks wonderful.
Sookie: Oh, thank you. Excuse me but I have to pull Lorelai away. It's show time.
Lorelai: (sighs and hands Rory her glass of punch.) Find some liquor and be generous.
Rory: I'm right on it. (Lorelai leaves. Rory turns around and sees Luke and Jess in the crowd. She stares at him in shock until he looks up at her. Both turn their heads quickly away.)
(Lorelai at the podium.)
Lorelai: Well, thank you all for being here. There's really not much to say after Taylor's lovely eulogy (Taylor beams with pride), except to say that Fran loved this place, and by place I mean both the Dragonfly and the town, so she gave them to each other. Now, with every visitor who comes to Stars Hollow, Fran will always be there to greet them. Sookie. (Sookie pulls the cloth off of the sign, a beautifully engraved wooden sign that reads "Fran's Inn. Welcome to Stars Hollow." Everyone claps. Babette cries. Lorelai looks at all the townspeople and sees Luke. They share a knowing smile. She sees Jess next to Luke, then looks to Rory who is smiling and clapping with Emily and Richard.)
(Lorelai goes over to Rory, Emily, and Richard.)
Lorelai: (to Rory) So what did you think?
Rory: Great speech.
Lorelai: Literally two sentences. (Rory hugs her mom.)
Richard: Wonderful, Lorelai. Everything was just wonderful. I only wish I had known this Fran.
Emily: They're selling her biography at the newsstand.
(Luke and Jess walk over.)
Luke: Great job.
Lorelai: I got great tips from some friends.
(Rory and Jess stand in front of each other looking at the same spot on the ground.)
Rory: Jess, can we talk?
Jess: Go ahead.
Rory: Um, not here. Let's go around the inn.
Jess: Okay. (Jess follows Rory, still with his head down, walking limply.)
(Once in private, they stop.)
Rory: What are you doing here? I thought you left with your dad.
Jess: Nothing like a funeral to bring people together. I didn't break our agreement. I never left. My dad bailed before I even got to the bus station.
Rory: I'm sorry.
Jess: I'm not.
Rory: Well, I'm glad you're still here. I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it. I was just angry with you for leaving because I didn't want you to go.
Jess: So that whole "explore your options, you might change your mind" thing was just reverse psychology?
Rory: No. I was just trying to give you good unbiased advice. But I really wanted you to stay.
Jess: Why?
Rory: Because you're my friend.
Jess: I'm sure we could have arranged to do the whole pen pal thing like Henry James and Robert Louis Stevenson.
Rory: I guess so. But I like it better this way.
Jess: Yeah, I guess this is okay.
Rory: Well, don't sound too happy about it. (Jess kisses her. Lorelai comes looking for Rory.)
Lorelai: Rory, are you back…(sees them) here.
(Rory lightly pushes Jess away and lowers her head. Jess looks squarely at Lorelai refusing to be embarrassed.)
Rory: Is it time for the hanging?
Jess: The what?
Rory: Hanging the sign.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Okay. (to Jess) I have to go. (Jess nods and takes a few steps backs. Rory walks with Lorelai, head still down. Lorelai looks back at Jess angrily. After they've left, Jess kicks some pebbles that were on the ground, turns and leaves the other way.)
The End
