By Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay.
Disclaimer: I only own the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: THANKS!!! always to my readers and reviewers. This chapter is the result of trying to do too much in eleven pages. You might not like it until I get to the next chapters or you might not like it at all. In any event, my apologies. I try my best.
(Lorelai and Rory are walking to Luke's. All the townspeople stare and look down and shake their heads or make sad and mournful expressions.)
Lorelai: Did somebody die around here?
Rory: Why is everyone staring at me like that?
Lorelai: Okay. I think you're being a little paranoid now. You don't know that they're staring at you.
Rory: Mom, Miss Patty just pointed at me to that guy over there and they both looked at me like I had smallpox.
Lorelai: You see a guy over there? Okay, get me Dr. Rosen on the phone.
Rory: That's not a guy?
Lorelai: Oh no, sweetie. That's Mrs. Friedsam. I guess she ran outside today without her wig.
Rory: Mrs. Friedsam wore a wig? It looked so real.
Lorelai: Okay, you don't need a head doctor. You need an eye doctor.
Rory: Digression over. Why is everybody looking at me?
Lorelai: Maybe they know.
Rory: You think they know?
Lorelai: I'm thinking they wouldn't look like they know unless they did.
Rory: They do look like they know. How would they know?
Lorelai: This is Stars Hollow, babe. They know everything.
Rory: What's the big deal anyway?
Lorelai: Excuse me. Didn't you see the headlines? Sweet Innocent Local Girl to be Corrupted by Evil, Delinquent New Yorker. Details on page 3.
Rory: This is crazy.
Lorelai: You know Stars Hollow is crazy. That's why we like it.
Rory: But this is not likable crazy.
Lorelai: Hey, you knew what you were getting into.
Rory: I know. I just don't like them staring at me like I'm walking to the electric chair.
Lorelai: Do you want me to cause a scene so that they all start staring at me?
Rory: No. We're standing too close to each other. They'd still be staring at me.
Lorelai: Let's just go to Luke's and get coffee as fast as we can.
Rory: Okay.
(They start speed walking to Luke's and enter hurriedly.)
Lorelai: Luke, pull the curtains. Close the blinds. We're hiding.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: The town is weird today.
Luke: This might be a rare normal day for you so you probably hadn't noticed, but the town is weird every day. What's going on?
Lorelai: If you want the juice it's gonna cost you the coffee.
Luke: It's not worth it.
Rory: Please, Luke. I need coffee. It's the first day of classes and Paris is going to make a speech during homeroom and since I didn't want to make a speech we came to a compromise that I would have to stand up next to her while she gave hers. And this is senior year now, which means it's the beginning of college applications and endless essays and I'm going to hear about all that today from the headmaster, and he's going to give the "outstanding tradition of Chilton, make Chilton proud" speech and I'm going to sit there wondering what if I don't, what if I don't get into any college, let alone Harvard. And this is just the first frustrating day of a frustrating year and it's already started off on a bad foot and the only way I'm going to survive anything is with coffee. Please.
Lorelai: Wow.
Luke: Yeah. (He pours her coffee.) It's on the house.
Rory: Thank you. Now I'm off to school.
Lorelai: To start the first frustrating day of a frustrating year.
Rory: Yep.
Lorelai: Have a nice day.
Rory: (all smiles) You too. Bye mom. Bye Luke. And thanks again. (leaves.)
Lorelai: So what about me?
Luke: I don't think so.
Lorelai: Please, Luke. I need coffee. It's the first day of the work week and Michel is going to…
Luke: Okay. Here. (pours the cofee.) Just take it.
Lorelai: (smiles.) Thank you. Wow. That really works.
Luke: So are you going to tell me what's up?
Lorelai: Ah. Did Jess tell you anything?
Luke: What kind of anything?
Lorelai: Anything at all.
Luke: No. But if you're referring to him and Rory, I heard. Not from Jess, but I heard.
Lorelai: Okay. Well let's just say everyone is making their disapproval of the situation very obvious.
Luke: Geez, I really wish they would cut him some slack already.
Lorelai: Well, what can you do?
Luke: What about you? You're okay with it, right?
Lorelai: Can I be honest without Mr. Freeze returning?
Luke: Go ahead.
Lorelai: I'm worried.
Luke: I understand.
Lorelai: But I trust Rory.
Luke: You should.
Lorelai: And I have an ax and a shovel if she gets hurt in any way.
Luke: If Jess survives me first.
(Taylor busts in.)
Taylor: Lorelai! I just heard. Are you aware of the recent developments regarding your daughter.
Lorelai: Fully aware, Taylor.
Taylor: And you're allowing this?
Lorelai: Yep.
Taylor: You do remember that this was the young man who stole the bridge money, Babette's gnome, staged a phony murder scene, and what's worst, broke Rory's arm?
Lorelai: I do remember, and he technically fractured her wrist.
Taylor: And you think this boy is an appropriate companion for your daughter?
Lorelai: No, Taylor, I don't. But I happen to know that playing dictator over Roryland wouldn't work. Rory is a great kid, and you know it.
Taylor: Which is precisely why the entire town is worried.
Lorelai: Don't be.
(Jess comes downstairs. Taylor squints his eyes at him in anger and storms out the diner.)
Jess: I think that guy is finally starting to like me.
Lorelai: Oh the town is just radiating with love for you today. Be careful out there. They might attack you with hugs, or clubs, but what's the difference?
Jess: Miss, Gilmore. I didn't know you cared.
Luke: Aren't you late for school?
Jess: No.
Luke: But don't you want to get to school early, this being your first day and all?
Jess: No.
Luke: But don't you want to leave before I go over there and throttle you?
Jess: Hmm…
Luke: Jess, go!
Jess: Okay. Bye, Uncle Luke.
Lorelai: Ever the charming young lad. I can tell what Rory sees in him.
Luke: The smart act, it's his defense mechanism. He knows everyone is going to be hounding him today…
Lorelai: So he's going to be extra charming.
Luke: Exactly.
Lorelai: Huh. (Lorelai sits pensively watching Jess through the window as he waves at the gawking townspeople.)
(Chilton. Paris is speaking before an unenthusiastic crowd. Some girls file their nails while the boy play with the girls' hair. Some read books or magazines. The teacher grades papers. Rory stands wearily next to Paris. )
Paris: This is a year of decisions, deciding which colleges to apply to, and, when acceptances come in, which to go to, deciding what to do with the rest of your lives. Decisions can be daunting. Still you can be confident in yourselves that your first decision, electing Gellar and Gilmore, was the right one, and we would like to assure you that together this will be Chilton's best year. Together we will decide the Chilton we want to see this year and together we will make it happen. Thank you.
Teacher: Thank you, Paris. (The bell rings and everyone files out. In the hall Paris stops Rory.)
Paris: How do you think it went?
Rory: (sarcastically) Splendidly.
Paris: Really?
Rory: No. I told you, Paris, that no one was going to want to hear a speech at homeroom. (Paris stops Madeline and Louise.)
Paris: What did you two think of that speech?
Louise: I know. What is wrong with that girl, going on and on like that? She's president of the class, not of the US. You really should have won that election, Paris.
Paris: I did.
Louise: Oh. That's right. I keep forgetting. Well, congratulations. I'll see you later. (Madeline and Louise run off.)
Rory: (sympathetically) It was a great speech, Paris. Maybe just not the appropriate time.
(Paris looks at her angrily and leaves.)
(Independence Inn.)
(Lorelai is at the front desk. A man walks up.)
Man: Hey. I'm going out for a bit and I was wondering if I could give in my room key and pick it up when I get back. I'm a little careless and I tend to lose these things.
Lorelai: Oh, sure.
Man: Thanks. And uh, could you write the room number down for me in case I forget. I'm very forgetful.
Lorelai: Careless and forgetful. I hope you're not a valet parking attendant.
Man: (laughs) No. Your car is safe from me.
Lorelai: (smiles.) Good. So here you go.
Man: I'm sorry to keep bothering you but do you mind putting your number on this. (sliding her back the paper.)
Lorelai: Ah. I have to say, that was original.
Man: I was going to ask you your sign, but I don't even remember mine, so I decided to try something different.
Lorelai: Good thinking.
Man: Is it working?
Lorelai: Mm, I don't think so this time, but don't give up on it.
Man: I don't think I'll ever find myself in this position again. I usually find little bald men with silly hats or bad accents at the front desks of inns. (Michel comes out.)
Michel: (to Lorelai) Thank you for covering for me. Family emergency over. I'm taking my break now. (leaves. Man and Lorelai laugh.)
Man: So since I'm probably going to find him here when I get back, can I get one more shot at dazzling you with my amazing wit and charm.
Lorelai: (smiling) Look…
Man: Are you married?
Lorelai: No.
Man: Any kids?
Lorelai: Yes, as a matter of fact. A daughter.
Man: Ah. I have a little boy. Five years old going on six. He lives in England with his mother. How old is yours?
Lorelai: Seventeen.
Man: Wow. That must be rough.
Lorelai: It's great.
Man: Oh no, I'm sure it is. I just meant the teen years, you know. Raging hormones and all that stuff. And you hear all the time of these girls getting pregnant at sixteen, seventeen.
Lorelai: Yeah. I was one of them.
Man: Since my foot is too far in my mouth right now, is there any chance that these floors open up and swallow people?
Lorelai: (laughs) It's happened on a few occasions, but we like to keep that quiet. It's bad for business. Really, it's all right.
Man: Yeah, I know I'm looking pretty good to you right now after I accused your daughter of raging hormones and…well, you know.
Lorelai: It's all right. Maybe you can make up for it all tonight.
Man: You mean a date?
Lorelai: No. After that, mister, you're coming over and cleaning my house, and believe me, it's messy.
Man: (laughs) All right.
Lorelai: I meant a date.
Man: Right. I knew that. Thank you.
Lorelai: Tip for the next time you try to pick up a little bald man at a front desk—don't thank him for agreeing to go out with you.
Man: I'll keep that in mind. So do you have a name?
Lorelai: Mitsy.
Man: Mitsy? Okay. Mitsy, then. I'll see you tonight. Should I pick you up here?
Lorelai: How about my house, eight o' clock. (She writes on the paper and hands it back to him.)
Man: Okay.
Lorelai: And the name is Lorelai.
Man: Lorelai. That's nice. I'm Bill.
Lorelai: Well, Bill then, I'll see you tonight.
(Stars Hollow High. In the hallway, Dean is at his locker. Jess walks towards him.)
Dean: What? Are you here to gloat?
Jess: (points to the locker next to Dean's.) This is my locker.
Dean: You're kidding me.
Jess: Looks like we're neighbors. (Jess opens his locker and pulls out a textbook.)
Dean: No. This can't be happening. (He sees Lane walking down the hall and grabs her arm.) Lane, where's your locker?
Lane: Ugh. With the freshmen. I'm the only senior whose locker is with the freshmen.
Dean: Can we switch?
Lane: Really?
Dean: Yeah.
Lane: Okay. Thank you.
Dean: Believe me. Thank you. We'll switch next period.
Lane: Okay. (Dean runs off. Lane looks confused and sees Jess.)
Jess: Howdy, neighbor. (It clicks and she nods her head.)
(Chilton)
(Paris, Louise, Madeline, and Rory are all seated at the lunch table.)
Paris: The suggestions boxes are already filling up. We're going to have to meet after school and go over them.
Louise: Today?
Paris: Yes, today. There's no time like the present.
Madeline: But why do today what we can put off for tomorrow?
Paris: Listen ladies, this is our last year, our last chance. This is the kind of dedication colleges look for. Today, after school, in the library.
Louise: But…
Paris: Let's remember what you said to me today. You owe me.
Louise: Fine.
Madeline: Okay.
Rory: I can't do it today, Paris.
Paris: What? But you're the Vice President. You have to be there.
Rory: I already have plans for today.
Paris: But this is important.
Rory: How do you know my plans aren't important?
Paris: What are they?
Rory: I don't have to tell you.
Paris: Then how am I supposed to know whether or not they're important.
Madeline: Paris, can't you tell? She has a date.
Louise: With a hot guy.
Paris and Rory: What are you talking about?
Louise: We know the look well. She has it.
Paris: You mean you're giving up Harvard for a date?
Rory: I'm not giving up Harvard. Paris, we can do this another day. The suggestions boxes just went up today. They can't be that full.
Paris: I already counted one with fifteen.
Rory: Fine. I'll stay.
Madeline: Now can we talk about more important matters.
Paris: Yes. The college fair.
Madeline: No, I'm talking about Rory. Who's the guy?
(Rory and Paris both rest their foreheads on their hands and shake their heads.)
(Later. Rory is at a payphone in the school. She phones Luke's.)
Luke: Hello.
Rory: Hey, Luke.
Luke: Hey Rory, how are you?
Rory: Okay, and you?
Luke: Not too bad. How was the first day?
Rory: The coffee was much needed and much appreciated.
Luke: Ah. So you want to speak to Jess?
Rory: Yes, please. Is he there?
Luke: Yeah, hold on a sec. (Luke hands Jess the phone.)
Jess: Yup.
Rory: Hey, Jess. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to meet later today, like two hours later. Do you mind?
Jess: Nope.
Rory: Don't you want to know why?
Jess: Not really, but I guess you want to tell me.
Rory: Only if you really want to know.
Jess: I could care less.
Rory: Right. So fine. But for all you know I could be postponing our date to go out with a rich kid with a Jaguar.
Jess: Don't forget to buckle your seat belt.
Rory: You're funny.
Jess: I like to think so. But all right. (fake stern) Why are you postponing our date? And it better be good.
Rory: Well, if you must know, Paris wants to go over the suggestions boxes. We're meeting in ten minutes.
Jess: I would have preferred the rich kid and the Jaguar excuse but okay.
Rory: So you don't mind?
Jess: No, but could you put a suggestion in the box for me?
Rory: You don't even go to Chilton.
Jess: But I'm always concerned about the plight of educational institutions.
Rory: In which you play a great part. But okay, what's your suggestion?
Jess: Elect a new president.
Rory: I think that one's already in there. A few times in fact.
Jess: You know if Paris gets assassinated, you would be president.
Rory: That is my purpose as class vice president, it's true. Are you planning to stage a phony assassination?
Jess: I don't know anything, but I'd check with the class CIA if I were you.
Rory: I'm right on it. So I'll see you later. Meet me at my house.
Jess: Do you think that's a good idea?
Rory: Why not?
Jess: Is your mom going to get all Andy Sipowicz on me?
Rory: Yeah.
Jess: (smiles) Okay.
Rory: Okay. So bye.
Jess: Bye.
(Independence Inn.)
Sookie: So Lorelai, I'm making chocolate mousse today. Do you and Rory want to come over?
Lorelai: I'd love to, but I can't. I have a date tonight.
Sookie: Oh! That's so great!
Lorelai: (voice deflated) Yeah.
Sookie: You don't sound happy about it.
Lorelai: I really don't want to go. The only reason I agreed was because he was so sweet and he tried so hard and he made such an idiot of himself that I felt sorry for him.
Sookie: A lot of marriages are founded on pity.
Lorelai: And end in divorce.
Sookie: You've been hanging around Luke too long.
Lorelai: Say, why don't you and Jackson come along. We could double date.
Sookie: But Jackson and I aren't dating. We're married. And you might send out the wrong signal double dating with a married couple.
Lorelai: True.
Sookie: Lorelai, just relax. I'm sure you're going to have a great time. At least you know it won't be like the time with Rune. This guy likes you.
Lorelai: You're right. It's just one date, and then I'll let him down easy.
Sookie: Or you might want to go out with him again.
Lorelai: I'm trying to think positively here.
(Later. Gilmore Residence. Rory is in her room looking through little boxes. She yells out to Lorelai.)
Rory: Mom, do you know where my blue necklace is?
Lorelai: (yells back from the kitchen) The one with the moons?
Rory: That's the one.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Where is it?
Lorelai: On my neck.
(Rory goes to the kitchen.)
Rory: Whoa. You look beautiful, mom.
Lorelai: Oh no.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Beautiful is not what I'm going for.
Rory: Oh. Well in that case you look horrible. Wicked Witch of the West horrible.
Lorelai: Thanks, hon.
Rory: Who are you going out with?
Lorelai: Bill.
Rory: Clinton?
Lorelai: Wickman.
Rory: Wickman?
Lorelai: William Wickman.
Rory: I don't know William Wickman.
Lorelai: No you don't. I don't even know William Wickman. I just met him today at the Inn.
Rory: And he held you up at gun point and forced you to go out with him? Because that's how you're acting.
Lorelai: I felt sorry for him so I said yes.
Rory: A pity date. I understand. You can keep the necklace.
Lorelai: You're going out with Jess today, right?
Rory: Yep.
Lorelai: Say, I have a brilliant idea.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: How about we double date?
Rory: That is the worst brilliant idea I have ever heard.
Lorelai: Come on. That way I get to keep an eye on you two.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Please. Don't leave me alone with William Wickman.
Rory: Bill.
Lorelai: Him either.
Rory: Mom, you're going to be fine.
(The doorbell rings. Lorelai goes over and opens. Bill is standing holding Jess with his arms behind his back while Jess struggles.)
Jess: Get the heck off of me.
Bill: (to Lorelai) I found this kid lurking around your house.
Lorelai: It's okay, Bill. He's here for my hormone raging daughter. (Rory comes over, sees Bill with Jess and laughs.) Bill, this is my daughter Rory. The abducted is Jess.
Jess: Could you let go of me already?
(Bill immediately lets Jess go.)
Bill: I'm so sorry, Jess. Hello, Rory.
Rory: Nice to meet you, Mr. Wickman.
Bill: How did you know my last name?
Lorelai: I looked it up in the guest book.
Bill: Ah. Well Bill is fine, Rory.
Rory: Well then, it's nice to meet you, Bill.
Bill: A pleasure, Rory. You're as beautiful as your mother. (Jess rolls his eyes. Rory smiles at this.)
Rory: Why thank you. Well, I have to finish getting ready so I'll be right back. (leaves)
Bill: Oh, Lorelai, I left something in the car for you. I'll run over and get it. (leaves)
Lorelai: So, Jess. No flowers, no chocolates?
Jess: No thanks. I'm cutting down on the sweets and I'm not really into flowers.
Lorelai: You're not making this easy.
Jess: I think we're a little too late for that.
(Bill returns with flowers and chocolates.)
Lorelai: Thank you, Bill.
Bill: So are we ready to go?
Lorelai: One second. (calls out) Rory, I'm leaving. (Rory comes out and gives her mother a kiss.)
Lorelai: (to Jess.) I guess we're not going to be able to have the talk.
Jess: Aw shucks.
Lorelai: (dismissing Jess, she looks to Rory) Be back by ten.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Fine, eleven.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: Bye.
Rory: Have fun. (Lorelai and Bill leave.) So where are we going?
Jess: I don't know. Where do you want to go?
Rory: Not really into planning ahead are you?
Jess: Nah. I'm more of a spur of the moment, blow with the wind kind of guy. You look nice.
Rory: Thanks. So, uh, should we get blowing?
Jess: Guess so. (They leave.)
(Lorelai and Bill enter Luke's)
Bill: So this is the famous coffee place.
Lorelai: Right here. And this is the famous coffee maker.
Bill: (extending his hand) Nice to meet you, Luke.
Luke: (takes his hand) Who are you?
Lorelai: Luke, this is Bill. Bill this is Mr. Congeniality. We'll have two coffees please.
Luke: Okay.
(Miss Patty comes into the diner.)
Miss Patty: Lorelai, I just wanted to let you know that we've got people at every corner of the town watching out for Rory, so don't worry. Taylor has an open line with the police on speed dial. Everything is taken care of.
Lorelai: Patty, you're kidding me.
Miss Patty: We organized Operation Rescue Rory last night as soon as we heard.
Lorelai: What?! Patty, I appreciate your concern, but call it off. You don't have to watch Rory. She's a good kid and she's going to be okay.
Miss Patty: We know Rory's a good kid, but that Jess.
Bill: You mean the kid I caught lurking at the house? I knew something was up with him.
Lorelai: Bill, trust me. You don't want to listen to any of this conversation.
Miss Patty: Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt your date, dear. I just wanted to let you know that everything is under control.
Lorelai: Yes, Patty. I have everything under control. I don't need your help. I don't want anyone watching Rory anymore. Call it off.
Miss Patty: But…
Luke: (comes over with the coffees.) That's right, Patty. Just leave the kids alone.
Miss Patty: We're only doing this because we care.
Lorelai: I know, Patty. Now call it off.
(Rory and Jess are walking around Stars Hollow.)
Rory: Gosh, we can't go anywhere without being watched.
Jess: Not here we can't.
Rory: Are you suggesting that we leave Stars Hollow?
Jess: You said it, not me.
Rory: Hmm. Where would we go?
Jess: Don't know.
Rory: I'm not leaving this town without a sense of direction.
Jess: I've never seen your school before.
Rory: You want to see Chilton?
Jess: It's better than having the Gestapo here on our tail.
Rory: I was there all day today and I'm going to be there all day tomorrow.
Jess: Fine. Do you want to go back to your house?
Rory: We can't.
Jess: Your mom doesn't want you alone with me in the house.
(Rory's silence assures him he's right.)
Jess: All right. So do you want to go back to Luke's? We could go upstairs and take a crack at my CDs.
Rory: I did say I would.
Jess: You did.
Rory: But…
Jess: Your mom doesn't want you and me alone within any vicinity of a bed.
Rory: Don't say it like that. Look, my mom is great. She's my best friend and I love her and respect her, and if this thing with us is going to work, you two are going to have to come to some form of understanding because I refuse to be torn between you two. If you choose to put up with me, you have to put up with my mom and you have to put up with this town. I know it's a lot and you're probably thinking it's not worth it…
Jess: I didn't say that.
Rory: But you're thinking it.
Jess: Nope. I'm thinking about where we could go now.
Rory: See why planning ahead is necessary.
Jess: I've learned my lesson. So what do you want to do?
Rory: Let's go to Chilton.
Jess: I wonder why I didn't think of that.
(Lorelai and Bill in a restaurant.)
Lorelai: So that's pretty much my story.
Bill: Wow. What a story.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Bill: No wonder you're such an amazing woman.
Lorelai: (smiles uncomfortably) So what's your story, Wickman?
Bill: Well pretty ordinary. My dad died when I was young. My mom and my older sister basically raised me and my five brothers. I went to North Carolina U on a football scholarship. Played for two years and I gave up on football. I went to a local community college, joined the police force, did that for three years and then I went back to school to become a teacher. Now I teach here in Connecticut. What I really am though is a writer. It's what brought me to your inn. I live with two of my brothers and it just gets too noisy. I can't write. So I take a room in the inn, lock myself up for a few days, write, and when I've gone dry I search for a Muse I haven't found yet…maybe until now.
Lorelai: I bet you tell that to all the girls.
Bill: You're not really enjoying this, are you?
Lorelai: No, I am. I'm sorry. I've just been out of practice with this stuff.
Bill: Same here. To be honest, the whole fancy restaurant gig was never my thing. An ice cream parlor. That's what I call a real date.
Lorelai: Bill, I think you're on to something.
(Rory and Jess pull up near Chilton.)
Rory: So that's Chilton. Describe it in one word.
Jess: Formidable.
Rory: Good one. Okay, you see, this wasn't a good idea.
Jess: Why?
Rory: I'm hungry now.
Jess: Pop open the trunk.
Rory: What?
Jess: Just do it. (Rory reaches and presses the button. She follows Jess out the car. He goes to the trunk and pulls out a thermos bag.)
Rory: I thought you weren't one to plan ahead.
Jess: Blow with the wind, but always bring food.
Rory: So that's what you were doing?
Jess: What are you talking about?
Rory: The lurking. You broke into my trunk.
Jess: Sue me.
Rory: You had this whole thing planned, didn't you?
Jess: I don't know what you're talking about.
Rory: Why would you put food in my car if you didn't plan on leaving Stars Hollow?
Jess: Are we going to play 20 questions or are we going to eat?
Rory: Hmm. Let's eat.
(They grab the food and sit on the grass.)
Rory: I have to admit, it was nice to get away from Stars Hollow.
Jess: What? I thought you were Stars Hollow's poster girl.
Rory: I don't hate Stars Hollow. I'm just saying that today it's nice to get away from it all. Chilton actually looks peaceful at night. When I was here that night with the Puffs I was blindfolded so I really didn't get to see what it looked like.
Jess: Whoa. Who? What? When?
Rory: Long story, but here goes. My guidance counselor said that she and the headmaster felt I needed more social interaction so I sat with these girls at lunch and it turned out they were this secret Chilton sorority called the Puffs. It's existed for generations. They decided they were going to make me, Paris, and some other girls members so they surprised us at night, blindfolded us, and brought us here and into the headmaster's office where we had to do this stupid oath and ring a bell, but the headmaster caught us. That was one interesting evening.
Jess: Wow. Rory Gilmore taking a walk on the wild side. I can count quite a few felonies there.
Rory: You would know, wouldn't you?
Jess: So what happened?
Rory: To me, nothing. I explained to the headmaster that I was only following his orders, so he let me off the hook and they never bothered me about social interaction again.
Jess: Hmm. I'm going to have to try that some time. But I have to agree with that headmaster.
Rory: What?
Jess: (smirks) You definitely need more social interaction.
Rory: (smiles) What did you have in mind?
(They lean towards each other and kiss.)
(Lorelai and Bill eating ice cream.)
Bill: I think I'm going to lose my ten bucks here. I can't fit anymore.
Lorelai: Ha! I won.
Bill: Now just wait a second, let me think about this.
Lorelai: You're turning a very interesting shade of green already and barfing wouldn't be the best way to end a date.
Bill: You've backed me into a corner. Sneaky one, aren't you?
Lorelai: Did I forget to tell you my middle name?
(Babette comes in.)
Babette: Lorelai honey, there's a bit of a problem.
Lorelai: Is it Rory?
Babette: She's nowhere to be found. Taylor's sent out the search party but they still haven't found her or Jess and they've checked all over.
Lorelai: Did they check with Luke?
Babette: He doesn't know anything.
Lorelai: The gazebo, the bridge?
Babette: Nowhere.
Lorelai: (gets up.) They better not be at the house.
Babette: No, dear. They're not there either. We've had people stationed there all night, as soon as you left. They never returned.
Lorelai: Bill, I'm sorry. I had a great time, but I'm going to have to call this evening off. I have to find my daughter.
Bill: I'll go with you.
Lorelai: No. It's okay. This is a personal family affair.
Babette: Family and residents.
Lorelai: (looks at Babette.) Family.
(Rory and Jess, still sitting on the grass.)
Rory: I just can't respect Jack London too much. I mean, you're talking about a man who followed Marx and ran for governor on the socialist platform, claiming he hated capitalism, and at the same time was one of the highest paid authors at the time, claiming he wrote only for money, and did grape juice commercials.
Jess: "Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."
Rory: Ah. Emerson. Good one.
Jess: Well then. I guess you won't like this. (Tosses her a book.)
Rory: Martin Eden.
Jess: It's the only thing I know you haven't read.
Rory: I may not respect London, but I still love his writing. Thanks.
(Lorelai's car screeches as it comes to a stop by Rory's. She storms out.)
Lorelai: Rory, get in the car.
Rory: Mom, what's wrong?
Lorelai: What's wrong? Do you know how worried you had me? You didn't tell me you were leaving Stars Hollow. I hear from Babette that you're nowhere to be found. I page you and you don't respond. I'm driving in the middle of the night, not even knowing where I'm going, my mind is racing in a million different directions…
Rory: Mom, I'm sorry. I forgot my pager at home. We weren't planning on leaving Stars Hollow, and it's not after eleven yet, is it?
Lorelai: It's 10:53, so unless your dad had a flux capacitor installed in that car, you would also have been late.
Rory: I guess we lost track of time. I'm sorry, mom.
Lorelai: Don't apologize. Just get in the car. My car. Jess can drive yours back.
(Later. Lorelai and Rory pull up at the house. Jess follows in Rory's car. They get out of the car.)
Rory: Mom, I'm really sorry.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: It won't happen again.
Lorelai: I know. Now go inside.
(Rory looks apologetically at Jess. He waves and mouths good night. Rory nods and goes inside.)
Jess: (handing Lorelai the keys.) Here you go, Miss Gilmore. Good night.
Lorelai: Not so fast.
Jess: What? Did you want to speak with me?
Lorelai: You have done nothing to deserve my trust but tonight I trusted you with the most precious I have, and you spit my trust back in my face…
Jess: You didn't trust me, and I didn't do anything. If you ask me, your racing mind did most of the damage here. If no one told you she was gone and if you hadn't freaked out, all she would have been was late. But because this town doesn't trust me and was keeping tabs on our every move, you did find out, and because you don't trust me at all, you freaked out. Me, I didn't do anything.
Lorelai: Who's idea was it to leave Stars Hollow?
Jess: It was mutual.
Lorelai: I'll bet. I don't know what this power is you have over Rory that suddenly when she's with you, she's a completely different person. Rory is responsible, she's punctual to the point of obsession…
Jess: Look…(He looks up and sees Rory's outline at the window. Sighs.) I'm sorry.
Lorelai: What?
Jess: You heard me.
Lorelai: I want to hear it again. Louder and with feeling, mister.
Jess: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you sorry for?
Jess: For this town being stupid. (Lorelai is not impressed.)…And for taking Rory from here without checking with you and for being late. How's that?
Lorelai: Fair enough.
Jess: So we're done here?
Lorelai: Yeah, you better go. Luke might be worried.
Jess: Okay. (turns to leave.)
Lorelai: Jess. (he turns back again wearily.) I'll tell Rory you said good night.
(He nods.)
(Next day. Luke's.)
Rory: So are you going out with him again?
Lorelai: I have to. I felt bad for just leaving like that yesterday so I told him we'd do it again.
Rory: Yet another pity date. I think this guy has finally found how to keep you.
Lorelai: I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm usually so merciless.
Rory: It's true. Maybe it's not pity. Maybe you are attracted to this guy, even against your wishes. He seemed nice to me.
Lorelai: He's nice, but not he's not really my kind of guy.
Rory: Who is your kind of guy? (Luke comes over with the coffees, places them on the table, and turns to the next table.)
Lorelai: Harley man.
Rory: Who does not exist.
Lorelai: Hey, don't say that. You'll hurt his feelings. (She looks to her side.) It's all right Harley man.
Rory: Try giving your imaginary friends real names.
Lorelai: That is his real name. Harley Mann. M-A-N-N.
Rory: Well, I have to get to school. Bye mom. Bye, Mr. Mann.
(Jess comes downstairs. Rory waits for him.)
Jess: (to Luke) I'm going to school. (Luke nods.)
(Lorelai watches as Rory and Jess leave talking and laughing.)
The End.
