Seasons Part 3: Joy

Why him? Why did they have to bring along this drunk off his ass, embarrassing, lousy excuse for a human being? Those had been Auron's first thoughts of this man from Zanarkand. Why did Braska insist on bringing this thing along on their pilgrimage?

Auron hated and despised this man. This man who showed no respect to Braska, how dare he treat his beloved Braska that way. It made Auron snarl at every opportunity and made him smirk with evil glee whenever Jecht got his ass into trouble, which was more than often.

Auron tried to get along, really he did, for Braska's sake. But he just couldn't, just couldn't get past the roughness, the brashness, the lack of respect. At times Auron wondered why he hated Jecht so much, but Jecht always managed to remind him. Still he couldn't help thinking that there was another reason, something hidden in the darkness of his heart, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

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Time changes many things, our emotions, our feelings, our perception. But in truth time does not change us, it merely makes us realize the truth. This was even true for stubborn stoic guardians.

Over their time together, Auron found his perception of Jecht had drastically changed. He had learned to see the man for what he truly was and look past the quirks that had so annoyed him. Auron wondered why he had changed so much, why he felt emotions stirring inside, emotions he had never thought himself capable of. He had fallen in love, head over heels.

Auron realized that the reason he had so hated Jecht was because of the ache that the man caused in his heart, the emptiness that he revealed in his soul. Jecht made Auron realize that a part of him was missing, and he hated that feeling. Auron had thought that that emptiness would never be filled and it had made him hate Jecht that much more. But he was tired of hating and hiding from himself, and he couldn't run from it any longer.

And so he would stay up all night, watching over the two men he loved so dearly. He would protect them and be their strength, and in that he was content.

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Jecht woke one night to see Auron staring at Braska, watching him intently. Jecht lifted himself up on one elbow.

"What are you doing?"

Auron started at the sound of Jecht's words, a bit embarrassed.

"Just, thinking."

"Thinking huh."

Jecht stood up and walked over to Auron and then sat next to him.

"What about?"

"A lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Like, life."

"Oooo.deep."

"Please don't make fun of me Jecht."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

Auron looked up at the stars, for some reason they didn't seem as beautiful to him as they once had. For now they only served to remind him of old memories, memories of times that would never be again.

Jecht looked at his fellow guardian with concern. Auron had always been stoic and silent, expertly hiding the sorrows that ate at him behind the veil of his dark eyes. But now when Jecht looked at him he could see that which Auron tried so desperately to keep locked away was escaping. It was heart-rending to watch, but Jecht couldn't turn away.

A single tear rolled down Auron's cheek, a trickle of emotion that had broken free. Jecht slowly reached out one hand and gently wiped away the tear.

Auron gasped, his heart caught in his throat, as Jecht turned his head toward his own and then slowly leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.

Auron loved Jecht, deeply, such that his entire being burned with it, and he could not even begin to understand or describe it. But it was not until that kiss that he realized Jecht truly loved him back, and with just as much intensity.

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Theirs was a playful love, pure, intense, and full of passion. Jecht enjoyed teasing Auron throughout the day, enticing him just enough to turn him on and delighting in the frustrated glares he received in return.

Jecht would often walk alongside Auron with one arm slung over his shoulder quietly snickering at Auron's expression. At times he would slip his hand under the collar of Auron's red coat to run his hand along the bare shoulder beneath.

"Jecht, please."

"I know you like it, Auron, you can't fool me."

Auron would shudder at the feel of Jecht's breath across his neck. Then he would shoot a threatening glance at his beloved.

"Just you wait until tonight."

"Oooo.is that a promise?"

Auron would just smirk, a certain wickedness in his expression.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

Jecht would grin and again stroke Auron's shoulder.

No matter how many times Auron tried to pry himself free from Jecht, the arm would always return to his shoulder and the game would start all over again. And in truth, Auron didn't really mind. He swore that he would never admit to Jecht how much he enjoyed it, but then he didn't need to, Jecht could already see it.

They spent all their nights together and Auron always made good on his promise. They allowed themselves to become lost in their passion as their hands reached each other. They shared their hearts, their minds, their bodies, and their souls. They belonged together and to each other, they were soul mates. Together they were happy, they were complete, they were one.

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Auron had found happiness and joy in Jecht's arms, something that he thought he would never have again, something that he thought was forever out of his reach.

But as happy as he was, the end of the pilgrimage and what would happen there still ate away at the back of his mind. The thought that he would be losing Braska was too difficult to bear, and though he tried to push it away, it continued to haunt him.

Auron loved Braska dearly, always had and always would, that would never change no matter what happened or how they changed. The lose of the one that he had grown up with and loved for so long would be the hardest thing he had ever faced.

But now the lose that he thought would destroy him suddenly seemed survivable. Auron saw a light, and that light was Jecht. He had found something to hold on to, something to love, something to live for. And for the first time in more years than he cared to remember, Auron found that he could be truly happy.

---to be continued---