Seasons
Part 4: Despair
He sat in silence, his back pressed hard against the rocky ledge. Dark clouds loomed around him and consumed him. It was over, Sin was defeated, and they were gone. He was alone, completely alone. All he had left were memories and shattered dreams.
'You must choose which one will become the faythe.'
What? What the hell had she said?
Auron was a man, but he was still very much like a child in so many ways. He was filled with naïve hopes and dreams and foolish optimism. He thought that things would always work out, he thought that he could have his deepest desire, he thought his dreams would come true, he thought that he could change the world. But in that instant everything changed, at those words he was forced to grow up. And it hurt like hell. He felt his heart ripped from his chest as he watched his world shatter and his dreams crumble.
'Make me the faythe.'
No Jecht! Don't do it! Don't leave me! Please Jecht! NO!!
How could Jecht do this to him? Why was he leaving him? What was he thinking? Why Jecht? WHY?!
'Sin is eternal, it always comes back.'
LIES! It was all lies! Everything they had ever been taught was a lie!
'The final aeon defeats Sin, and becomes Sin in its place.'
WHAT?! What the hell?!
He had begged with them, pleaded with them, tried to convince them, tried to make them see. The whole thing was pointless, the pilgrimage was a lie, everything they had done till now was a lie! Why didn't they see that? Why didn't they understand? Why wouldn't they listen to him? WHY?!
He clung to them both, he refused to let go, he couldn't accept that they were throwing away their lives for nothing.
Don't leave me! Please don't go! Don't leave me alone!
But he had been unable to stop them, they had made up their minds, they had given up. And in the end he just sat there allowing sorrow and despair to consume him as they walked away from him. And now they were gone, and he had nothing left.
Auron had lost everything, everything. Sin had taken it all; his home, his family, his past, his father, his brother, his beloved, his future, his hopes, his dreams, his life, his love, everything. It was all gone. Everything he had ever cared for, everything he had ever loved, everything that had ever been a part of him was gone. And he had nothing left, nothing! And for what?! A lie! He had lost everything to a lie, a lie!! Everything he had ever known was a lie, a goddamned lie!
Auron sat, his heart in pieces, his soul in shreds, his dreams in shambles. Bitterness surrounded him, rage filled him, and hatred consumed him. He hated everything and everyone. He hated his father for dying barely a week before Sin was destroyed, he hated his sensei's for teaching him lies, he hated Braska and Jecht for believing those lies and sacrificing themselves, he hated all of Spira for celebrating, he hated the whole damned pilgrimage, and he hated that bitch for covering the whole thing up. But most of all he hated himself for not stopping them, for just sitting there while they went off to die, for giving up so easily.
His hatred burned him its the darkness and he made no attempts to resist it. Rage flooded through him and consumed his soul until there was only one thought left, REVENGE!
He would avenge them, he swore it, if it was the last thing ever he did. He would take back everything that he had lost. He would pry his dreams from that bitch's cold, dead fingers.
Rage coursed through his veins and spurned him on, back to Zanarkand, back to the dome, back to that bitch. His eyes glowed with the hatred and rage burning inside him. His determination was fierce and his will unwavering. Anything that was unfortunate or unwise enough to cross his path met a quick end on his blade.
He had no idea how much time had passed when he at last reached the dome. He didn't care, he just wanted to find her, to make her pay for what she had done, to make her pay for his sorrow.
When he confronted her she barely acknowledged him with a glance.
'What are you doing here?'
As if you didn't know!
'Go away.'
Oh no, you're not getting off that easily!
He wanted them back, wanted them back now. He wanted everything back. It was his, she had no right to take what was his!
'They died because they had hope.'
LIAR! They died because they believed. But it was all a lie! A LIE!
Auron could bear no more. Fire burned in his eyes as he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. Hatred and suicidal rage flooded through him as he charged, his sword brandished for the strike.
But she didn't care, he was nothing to her, and she flung him aside with a single flick of her hand.
Pain, searing pain shot through him as he flew backward and landed on the cold stone floor with a resounding thud. He desperately tried to get up, but his strength had left him and his body refused to obey. He could have sworn he heard her laugh as he drifted into the blackness of unconsciousness.
--------------------------
He was lying in a pool of blood, his blood. As he slowly opened his eyes he became away of the burning pain that shot through his body. He could barely see through the blood that flowed from the wound on his face. His head pounded and his body throbbed, every breath was a struggle that only brought more pain.
Slowly he struggled to his hands and knees, gasping for breath, writhing in anguish. He put one hand to his face and felt the deep gash there. He was blinded in that eye and absently he wondered if it was even still there.
Blood everywhere, his blood. It was all over his clothes, in his hair, on the ground, on his skin. Pain; searing, burning, scorching pain. It shot through him, through his chest, his head, his gut, his legs, his entire body.
Why the hell was he still alive? He had wanted to die! Damn it! Why was he still alive?!
'Auron, promise you will take Yuna to Besaid.'
He had promised that hadn't he. He couldn't die yet, that vow wouldn't let him.
Somehow he struggled to his feet and limped over to where his sword had stuck in the ground. He wrapped his hand around the hilt, grateful for the support it provided.
'Auron, look after my son in Zanarkand; he needs you to hold his hand.'
'I promise'
Damn you Jecht! How the hell am I going to get to Zanarkand?
'You'll find a way, you idiot. What about your infinite possibilities?'
Right, possibilities.
He summoned his strength and pulled his sword free. Slowly he limped forward. Every step was a struggle and he would have fallen without his sword to lean on. He somehow forced himself to continue; he couldn't give up, not yet.
Tired, so tired. It would have been so easy to give up right there. He wanted to die, wanted it to be over, wanted to surrender. But he couldn't, he still had a task to complete, he still had vows he had to keep.
He didn't know how, didn't know when, but somehow he would find a way. Even after his life escaped him, he would find a way. He had to find a way. Because, if he didn't; he would never see Jecht again. And that was simply.not an option.
---end---
He sat in silence, his back pressed hard against the rocky ledge. Dark clouds loomed around him and consumed him. It was over, Sin was defeated, and they were gone. He was alone, completely alone. All he had left were memories and shattered dreams.
'You must choose which one will become the faythe.'
What? What the hell had she said?
Auron was a man, but he was still very much like a child in so many ways. He was filled with naïve hopes and dreams and foolish optimism. He thought that things would always work out, he thought that he could have his deepest desire, he thought his dreams would come true, he thought that he could change the world. But in that instant everything changed, at those words he was forced to grow up. And it hurt like hell. He felt his heart ripped from his chest as he watched his world shatter and his dreams crumble.
'Make me the faythe.'
No Jecht! Don't do it! Don't leave me! Please Jecht! NO!!
How could Jecht do this to him? Why was he leaving him? What was he thinking? Why Jecht? WHY?!
'Sin is eternal, it always comes back.'
LIES! It was all lies! Everything they had ever been taught was a lie!
'The final aeon defeats Sin, and becomes Sin in its place.'
WHAT?! What the hell?!
He had begged with them, pleaded with them, tried to convince them, tried to make them see. The whole thing was pointless, the pilgrimage was a lie, everything they had done till now was a lie! Why didn't they see that? Why didn't they understand? Why wouldn't they listen to him? WHY?!
He clung to them both, he refused to let go, he couldn't accept that they were throwing away their lives for nothing.
Don't leave me! Please don't go! Don't leave me alone!
But he had been unable to stop them, they had made up their minds, they had given up. And in the end he just sat there allowing sorrow and despair to consume him as they walked away from him. And now they were gone, and he had nothing left.
Auron had lost everything, everything. Sin had taken it all; his home, his family, his past, his father, his brother, his beloved, his future, his hopes, his dreams, his life, his love, everything. It was all gone. Everything he had ever cared for, everything he had ever loved, everything that had ever been a part of him was gone. And he had nothing left, nothing! And for what?! A lie! He had lost everything to a lie, a lie!! Everything he had ever known was a lie, a goddamned lie!
Auron sat, his heart in pieces, his soul in shreds, his dreams in shambles. Bitterness surrounded him, rage filled him, and hatred consumed him. He hated everything and everyone. He hated his father for dying barely a week before Sin was destroyed, he hated his sensei's for teaching him lies, he hated Braska and Jecht for believing those lies and sacrificing themselves, he hated all of Spira for celebrating, he hated the whole damned pilgrimage, and he hated that bitch for covering the whole thing up. But most of all he hated himself for not stopping them, for just sitting there while they went off to die, for giving up so easily.
His hatred burned him its the darkness and he made no attempts to resist it. Rage flooded through him and consumed his soul until there was only one thought left, REVENGE!
He would avenge them, he swore it, if it was the last thing ever he did. He would take back everything that he had lost. He would pry his dreams from that bitch's cold, dead fingers.
Rage coursed through his veins and spurned him on, back to Zanarkand, back to the dome, back to that bitch. His eyes glowed with the hatred and rage burning inside him. His determination was fierce and his will unwavering. Anything that was unfortunate or unwise enough to cross his path met a quick end on his blade.
He had no idea how much time had passed when he at last reached the dome. He didn't care, he just wanted to find her, to make her pay for what she had done, to make her pay for his sorrow.
When he confronted her she barely acknowledged him with a glance.
'What are you doing here?'
As if you didn't know!
'Go away.'
Oh no, you're not getting off that easily!
He wanted them back, wanted them back now. He wanted everything back. It was his, she had no right to take what was his!
'They died because they had hope.'
LIAR! They died because they believed. But it was all a lie! A LIE!
Auron could bear no more. Fire burned in his eyes as he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. Hatred and suicidal rage flooded through him as he charged, his sword brandished for the strike.
But she didn't care, he was nothing to her, and she flung him aside with a single flick of her hand.
Pain, searing pain shot through him as he flew backward and landed on the cold stone floor with a resounding thud. He desperately tried to get up, but his strength had left him and his body refused to obey. He could have sworn he heard her laugh as he drifted into the blackness of unconsciousness.
--------------------------
He was lying in a pool of blood, his blood. As he slowly opened his eyes he became away of the burning pain that shot through his body. He could barely see through the blood that flowed from the wound on his face. His head pounded and his body throbbed, every breath was a struggle that only brought more pain.
Slowly he struggled to his hands and knees, gasping for breath, writhing in anguish. He put one hand to his face and felt the deep gash there. He was blinded in that eye and absently he wondered if it was even still there.
Blood everywhere, his blood. It was all over his clothes, in his hair, on the ground, on his skin. Pain; searing, burning, scorching pain. It shot through him, through his chest, his head, his gut, his legs, his entire body.
Why the hell was he still alive? He had wanted to die! Damn it! Why was he still alive?!
'Auron, promise you will take Yuna to Besaid.'
He had promised that hadn't he. He couldn't die yet, that vow wouldn't let him.
Somehow he struggled to his feet and limped over to where his sword had stuck in the ground. He wrapped his hand around the hilt, grateful for the support it provided.
'Auron, look after my son in Zanarkand; he needs you to hold his hand.'
'I promise'
Damn you Jecht! How the hell am I going to get to Zanarkand?
'You'll find a way, you idiot. What about your infinite possibilities?'
Right, possibilities.
He summoned his strength and pulled his sword free. Slowly he limped forward. Every step was a struggle and he would have fallen without his sword to lean on. He somehow forced himself to continue; he couldn't give up, not yet.
Tired, so tired. It would have been so easy to give up right there. He wanted to die, wanted it to be over, wanted to surrender. But he couldn't, he still had a task to complete, he still had vows he had to keep.
He didn't know how, didn't know when, but somehow he would find a way. Even after his life escaped him, he would find a way. He had to find a way. Because, if he didn't; he would never see Jecht again. And that was simply.not an option.
---end---
