The Quest for Sauron's One Ball
A/n: okay, I need to explain some things before you run out of here screaming "HENTAI!!!" on me. My sister and I came up with this idea last night when I was rearranging all the action figures on her dresser. Then, I saw some of those little Dragonballs that come with the action figures, (ya know the ones? They're about a centimeter in diameter, maybe a little less?) and she also had a bunch of LotR action figures… and instead of the one ring, I said the one Ball and so Sauron only has one ball… okay. So it's not as funny as it seemed last night, but bear (bare? I don't know…) with me here!
I don't know if anyone's done this before, but I have never read one, so I can't copy or steal ideas. If I do, sorry, I didn't mean to because I never read that one!
Basically, what I'm doing is replacing LotR characters w/ DBZ ones (casting with LOTS of help from my sister) and…yeah. It'll be following the LotR storyline…kind of. And I know that the characters don't line up exactly and I'll explain why each character was that character. Okay? ^_^ Enjoy! (I hope this turns out alright…) Also, some of the dialogue that sounds too…good, well-written, for my fan fiction is probably dialogue from the book. If not, I just got lucky! ^_^
Disclaimer: MINE! ALL MINE!!! I OWN THE WORLD, THE UNIVERSE, EVERYTHING!!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Okay, maybe I don't. ::sob::
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THE CASTING!!!
Gohan as Frodo!
Mirai Trunks as Sam!
Chibi Trunks as Merry!
Goten as Pippin!
GT Trunks as Legolas!
Yajirobe as Gimli!
Vegeta as Aragorn!
Piccolo as Gandalf!
Yamcha as Boromir!
Majin Bibbity as Sauron!
Majin Buu as Saruman!
Android 18 as Galadriel!
Krillin as Celeborn!
Bulma as Arwen!
Tien as Elrond!
~*~
"ONNA!" Vegeta bursts into the room and slams the script down on the desk, not breaking it only because it's made of Gundamium and he's not powered up. "WHY THE HELL AM I PLAYING A STUPID, WEAKLING HUMAN?!"
"Sorry, Vegeta, there're aren't any Saiyan Princes in LotR," said Megami sarcastically. "I'll just raise J. R. R. Tolkien from the dead and have him re-write it for you, okay?"
"Grrr…" he death glared and stomped out. Megami rolled her eyes and went back to typing.
~*~
There was a huge party at Bilbo's house. There were a ton of Hobbits dancing, singing, eating, and drinking. Piccolo was busy shooting ki blasts into the air because he didn't bring any firecrackers, and Goku was eating most of the food there. When it was time for Goku to make a speech, he stood up onto of some strategically placed boxes and waved his arms to get everyone's attention.
"Today is my…umm…" Goku stood there thinking and counting on his fingers. Off stage, Vegeta's voice could be heard.
"Baka Kakkarot! You're supposed to say it's your 111th Birthday!"
"But I'm not 111, Vegeta."
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER! JUST SAY THE DAMN LINE!"
Goku shrugged and continued. "Today's my 111th birthday: I am eleventy-one today!" all the hobbits cheered and urged him to continue. "I shall not keep you long. I have called you all together for a Purpose. Indeed, for Three Purposes! First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that eleventy-one years is too short to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." (a/n: I love that line!! ^_^) Here, there was scattered clapping. "Secondly, to celebrate my birthday, I should say: OUR birthday. For it is, of coarse, also the birthday of my heir and neph—" Goku paused and frowned before pulling the script out of his back pocket.
"What now, Goku?" Megami asked from off stage.
"Gohan's not my nephew!"
"I DON'T CARE, RECITE THE DAMN LINES!"
Goku flinched and nodded before continuing. "nephew, Frodo. He comes of age and into his inheritance today. Together we score one hundred and forty-four…" Goku babbled on for a while as Bilbo does in the book, until he finally gets to his last sentence. "…this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!" Goku flared his ki so bright that everyone had to look away, and he jumped down and hid behind the boxes. When everyone looked back, it appeared as he disappeared. Piccolo saw what he really did, and rolled his eyes before heading to the house. He was soon joined by Goku, who snuck away in hopes that no one would see him.
"You're leaving the One Dragonball here, aren't you?"
"NO PICCOLO!!" Megami yelled from off stage. "You have to call it Sauron's one ball! Or just the one ball!"
"Why? That sounds really messed up."
"No shit, it's supposed to! Quit altering my dialogue!"
Piccolo rolled his eyes and re-stated his line.
"Yes, I have to. I left it in an envelope on the mantle, even though it's pretty big and couldn't really fit in an envelope…"
One of those huge envelopes for mailing packages with the eagle on it from the post office was thrown and hit Goku on the head.
"Ouch!" Goku rubbed his head and picked up the envelope before continuing. "Oh wait it's in my pocket. Heh, heh…" he gave the Son Grin™ and dropped the ball in the envelope. "Bye Piccolo!…or, Gandalf!" Goku waved and left. Piccolo looked at the envelope before shrugging to Megami.
"GOKU YOU FORGOT SOME LINES! Oh, well, Gohan! Get on stage!"
Gohan was shoved on and he looked at Piccolo.
"Here. Bilbo left you his one…" he looked at the camera. "I'm not going to say it. This is really perverted."
Gohan was trying not to laugh. "O..okay, 'Gandalf'," Gohan cleared his throat and walked over to Piccolo and took the envelope.
"You are the master of Bag End now. Also, I fancy, you'll find an orange ball."
"The Ball!" said Gohan. "Has he left me that? I wonder why. Still, it may be useful." Gohan blushed and Piccolo continued.
"It may, and it may not. I should not make use of it, if I were you. But keep it secret, keep it safe! Now I am going to bed."
The camera stops rolling and the director breaks out into giggles. "O..okay. I think that's good enough for today. Gohan, now you can make use of your balls--"
"AND I'LL FINALLY HAVE GRANDCHILDREN!!!" yelled Chi Chi, cutting off Megami. Gohan blushed even deeper now, and left quickly.
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That was kind of short, but that's alright. I'll have the next chapter up soon. Sorry if it wasn't funny, but screwing up the dialogue is fun, if nothing else. ^_^ Flame me if you want, I really don't care. If anyone has any ideas, leave them in a review, or email them to MegamiMerquise@ameritech.net!! ^_^
