The Higher you go...
Chapter 1: New Beginnings



SusanÕs eyelids began to flutter with exhaustion. She had worked for more hours thean she cared to remember and was franticly searching the ER trying to find a room to collapse in. There had been an epidemic in the hospital of smallpox and no-one was allowed to leave yet.

Exam 1 lay at the end of the corridor mearly meters away from where she now stood. However her legs felt heavy and all energy had drained from her body. As she finally reached the door she silently prayed it was empty. She was in for a big shock.

There lay Carter and Abby. They were kissing passionately until she walked in when they flew apart. The pain rushed through her. Although her and Carter had broken up and she knew he had feelings for Abby deep down she still loved him. And deep down she always thought she would get him back.

ÒOh my god IÕm so sorryÓÓSusan- donÕt worry- we shouldnÕt be in here, did you want something?ÓÓNo- well just a place to crash- IÕm exhausted. But donÕt worry IÕll go find another roomÓ
ÒThanks and SusanÓÓYeah?ÓÓCan you not tell anyone about us?ÓÓSure CarterÓ
The sound of her voice made her tingle and this feeling remained long after she gently closed the door. She could barely hear the noise of the door closing over the pounding of her heart and suddenly all her exhaustion had gone. She knew perfectly well every other room was full and there was no where for her to sleep. It looked like another cup of coffee.

As she entered the lounge she considered the possibility of sleeping on the sofa. A deep voice shocked her and brought her out of her daydream.
ÒHey SusanÓÓLuka- you scared me. I didnÕt think anyone else was in hereÓÓIÕm taking a break- thereÕs no more patients and no where to goÓÓMind if I join you?ÓÓOh course notÓ
Luka moved along the sofa and Susan sat down. Her feet ached and her head pounded. She had a migraine coming on. The feeling go exhaustion once again returned to her body and she realised just how tired she was.

ÒAre you okay? I mean you look a little tiredÓÓIm exhausted. But I donÕt think itÕs that- I just saw something I really didnÕt want to seeÓÓWhat did you see?ÓÓIÕm not really supposed to sayÓÓI promise not to tell anyone- hey ItÕs not like I have many people to tell. ItÕs not like I have any friends here in Chicago or anything!ÓÓHey- you have friends. I donÕt know if I should... itÕs not really my secret to tellÓÓCarter and Abby?ÓÓHow did you know?ÓÓI walked into Exam 1ÓÓOh- you looking for a bed as well?ÓÓYeah. They looked kinda embarrassedÓÓI just donÕt think I can handle seeing them together every dayÓÓYou still got a thing for Carter?ÓÓYeah. Well no. Not a thing- thereÕs just something there. I donÕt think I really ever wanted us to break up. For me the relationship was going greatÓÓWhy did you break up then?ÓÓHerÓ
ÒRight...Ó
An uncomfortable silence descended between them. All Susan wanted to do was sleep and she was sure Luka felt the same way. She only hoped she wouldnÕt bump into Carter and Abby again today. Today was not SusanÕs lucky day.

ÒHey guysÓÓHey Carter. Hey AbbyÓ

Susan couldnÕt muster a word. Her throat was dry and scratchy and her voice felt hoarse. Tears pricked at her eyes and she had to rub them furiously to stop a waterfall cascading down her cheek. She forced a smile and quietly repeated LukaÕs greeting.

ÒHey Carter. Hey AbbyÓ The words slowly creeped out and she could feel the glare of the other three staring at her. They knew something was wrong but luckily- like a knight in shining armour- Luka rescued her.

ÒSo- either of you two know when we can escape from here?Ó

Susan gave out a deep sigh of relief and flashed Lukla a grateful glance. He smiled slightly at her.

ÒNope- I hope soon thoughÓÓYeah me tooÓÓActually I might go and ask Jerry if thereÕs any newsÓ
ÒIÕll go with youÓ
ÒOk- see you later guysÓÓByeÓÓOh and if thereÕs any news come and tell usÓÓSureÓ

There were a few seconds of silence before Susan finally plucked up the courage to speak.

ÒThank youÓÓFor what?ÓÓHelping me out. I just didnÕt know what to sayÓ
ÒI understandÓÓItÕs just so hardÓÓWatching someone you love fall in love with someone else always isÓ
ÒDo you still have feelings for AbbyÓÓIÕm not sure- maybe. I think I always will. But IÕve known she was in love with Carter for a long time- I think IÕve come to terms with it.ÓÓI think youÕve just got to let them be happyÓ
ÒHowever hard it isÓ
Just then the door flew open. Carter entered followed by Abby. They had their hands entwined and Carter held something in the other.

ÒHey guys- once youÕve had your immunisations youÕre free to goÓ

ÒWow- ItÕs good to be back in fresh air againÓÓYeah- I missed itÓ
The cold Chicago breeze cooled SusanÕs face. Before she had been exhausted but she was now feeling once again very awake. She watched Abby and Carter leave the hospital and she and Luka both raised a hand to wave goodbye. She smiled. At least Carter was happy.

ÒYou want to get some coffee?Ó Luka signalled towards Doc Magoos
ÒSure- that sounds goodÓ

They found a table by the window and sat down. The smell of coffee drifted towards them. Susan loved the smell of coffee especially early in the morning. Luka was eagerly scanned the menu.
ÔYou ready to order?ÓÓYeah IÕll just have a coffeeÓ
ÒThat all?ÓÓIÕm not hungryÓ
ÒWell if your sureÓLuka hailed a waitress and ordered a coffee for susan and a cream cheese and smoke salmon bagel for himself. He smiled at her warmly and suddenly realised how beautiful she was. The morning light shining from the windows of Doc Magoos lit up her face and made her blonde hair glimmer. Just then the waitress walked towards them and diverted LukaÕs attention. His bagel was here and he was starving.


Two and a half hours later Susan and Luka left Doc Magoos. She was suprised at how much she had enjoyed herself and amazingly tiredness still hadnÕt caught up with her.
ÒSo... which way you headed?ÓÓLeft- you?ÓÓAhhh- rightÓÓOh I guess IÕll see you tomorrow then- are you working?ÓÓYeah tomorrow nightÓÓOkay then- until tomorrow bye. Oh and Luka-ÓÓYeahÓ
ÒI had a really great timeÓÓMe tooÓ
ÒI better get goingÓÓHey- SusanÓÓYeahÓÓYou want a lift?ÓÓYou sure itÕs not out of your way?ÓÓCome onÓ


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The ringing of an alarm awoke Carter. He had only a few hours sleep and was exhausted but it was time to return to the ER already. He watched AbbyÕs chest rise and fall and she breathed in and out. Her hair was spread around her face and she twisted and turned constantly. He didnÕt like to use someoneÕs shower without asking but he didnÕt want to wake her either. He decided as they were dating using her shower should bre okay and opened the door into the bathroom.

The water pounded hard on his back. The water was cold but he needed waking up at the moment. He looked across to the window. There was a great view of a fabulous brick wall. His house was very different to AbbyÕs apartment but in a way he couldnÕt help feeling jealous. It was so warm and cosy. He remembered as a child wandering the empty acres of space in his house. It didnÕt matter how many people were in it- somehow it always managed to feel lonely and deserted.

As Carter climbed out of the shower a shiver ran through him. His body was covered in goose bumps and beads of water dripped from his hair. He cleaned his teeth and went back into the bedroom. Abby was still fast asleep. He got dressed and searched for a piece of paper. Eventually finding one he scribbled a note for abby

Abby,
Gone to Work. IÕll see you when your shift starts at 10- Doc Magoos for Lunch?
I love you- last night was wonderful.
Have an Amazing Day
Love,
John

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ÒHey Luka!ÓÓSusan- heyÓÓBeen a busy night huh?ÓÓYeah- you off yet?ÓÓIÕm off around about- Now!ÓÓHey IÕm off as well- wanna grab something to eat?ÓÓSure- where do you wanna go?ÓÓUmmm- I know this cute little Italian place just round the cornerÓÓSounds greatÓ

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The street was totally dark except for the shining light of the moon that lit up the surroundings. Everywhere was quiet and there was no-one around. It was slightly eerie and Susan was glad Luka was there. She wouldnÕt have wanted to be alone on a night like this.

ÒThis is my place- thank you for a great eveningÓÓItÕs my pleasure- I enjoyed itÓÓMe tooÓ
ÒOKay I better be goingÓÓGood Night LukaÓÓGoodnight SusanÓ

Susan watched as Luka walked down the street descending into the darkness. He turned back and gave her a broad smile. He continued to look back until he reached the end of the street where he turned left out of SusanÕs sight. She had a funny feeling Luka would still be wearing that smile on his face now.
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ÒKerry- have you seen Abby?ÓÓNope Sorry CarterÓ
ÒHey Luka wait upÓÓHey CarterÓÓHave you seen Abby?ÓÓNope- is she working today?ÓÓI thought so- never mind thanks anywayÓ
ÒSusanÓÓNo I havenÕt seen AbbyÓÓOkay thanksÓ

Where is she? Carter had been searching for Abby all day and there was still no trace of her. She should have been working today but she was no where to be found. There had been no reply from her house last night either. He hadnÕt called round because he had worked all day and was exhausted but it would be his first stop and soon as this damn shift was over.

Carter was still lost deep in his thoughts when a female voice grabbed his attention. He looked up and saw a mass of blonde hair surrounding the pretty face of his ex-girlfriend Susan Lewis.

ÒCarter- I said IÕll cover youÕre shift- go look for herÓÓSusan- thank you so muchÓÓItÕs okay you helped me out when Chloe went AWOL with little Susie- I think itÕs my turn to do you a favour now- donÕt you?ÓÓIÕll only be an hourÓÓTake as long as you wantÓ

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ÒSusan- why are you still here?ÓÓIÕm covering for CarterÓÓRight- but he was here earlierÓÓI know- heÕs looking for AbbyÓÓYou still cut up about them?ÓÓNo- IÕm over itÓÓDoes that mean youÕre available again for dinner tonight?ÓÓSure but CArter still isnÕt back so until then-Ó The opening of the lounge door stopped Susan in her tracks. Suddenly a familiar face appeared from around the door ÓCarter?Ó
ÒHey- you can goÓÓYou find her?Ó
Carter didnÕt respond verbally instead he thrust a note into SusanÕs hand and looked at the floor. She could tell he was embarrassed.



Carter,

Sorry But I needed to get away. It was all too much- the kiss, us, everything. It came too fast and I wasnÕt ready for it. IÕÕm staying with my brother Eric for a while in Phoenix. I hope you understand. I just need a bit of space- I will be back as soon as I can. I love you- this isnÕt youÕre fault.
Sorry- IÕll be back
Love Always

Abby X

Susan passed the note back to Carter who remained still, head down eyes towards the floor. He looked up at Luka.
ÒYou wanna read it too?ÓÓSureÓ Carter shoved the note violently into LUkaÕs hands.
ÒI wonÕt read it if you donÕt want me toÓÓRead itÓ
Luka finished reading and handed the note to CArter.
ÒShe will come backÓ
ÒI hope youÕre right about that.

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