Lord of the Things! Chapter Two

The Fellowship sail down the Anduin. After an hour has passed:

"I'm bored, Mr. Frodo." Sam yawns.

"Tell me about it. Hey wanna play a game or somethin'?"

"K. What game?"

"Hmmmm. Oooh! I know! M.A.S.H.!"

Sam pulls a pencil and a pad of paper from the midst of his cooking supplies.

"All right, Mr. Frodo, pick two girls."

"Ummm, Éowyn and Rosie."

"Nope, can't pick them."

"Why not?"

"Two reasons: We meed Éowyn in like 400 pages, and Rosie's my girlfriend!" Sam sticks out his tongue. "S'there!"

"Fine."

After a few minutes:

Sam sits back in the boat and reads from the paper. "So you'll live in a shack, you'll marry Xenaimean Arwen the warrior princess, you'll have a Balrog for a pet, we skipped the car category because they haven't been invented yet so you won't have a car, your job'll be the guy that cleans up after the orcs, and you'll have 800 children." Sam grins.

"Wonderful. Aww stop your smilin'!" Frodo grabs the pad of paper and chucks it off the side of the boat.

"Hey! What'd ya go an' do that for?"

Frodo stares at the water with his arms crossed, looking very moody indeed.