Everyone run and hide, it's another dreaded author's note! @ I would just like to re-itterate that my sap sucks, so if this story does any of the characters shame, flame me, I deserve it. Also, Heero might seem a little out character. There were two ways I could have portrayed him: distanced space cadet, or clueless guy out to make the girl of his dreams happy. Come on, you have to admit clueless Heero is more fun and much more enjoyable for all you hardcore 1/R fans! Anyways, I'm ranting again. Hope you enjoy.

~!~ Disclaimer: GW is not mine, however the great conspiracy discussed within is.

Now, tally ho - onward the fic:

"What do you mean you don't know where he is? Isn't that your job?" Duo remarked.

Rashid, at three times the pilot's height, stared down at him, "I'm sorry, Master Quatre has gone out." he stated.

"Well, isn't that like the guy." Duo mumbled turning to Trowa and Wufei behind him, "Q's not here."

"Another one of your brilliant plans, foiled." Wufei commented with an unimpressed look.

"Hey! I got Heero and Relena together, didn't I?" Duo defended.

"They got themselves together." Trowa clarified.

"I never get any credit around here!" the braided wonder threw his arms up in the air in exasperation.

"Come on, there's no point sticking around here." Wufei said from the end of the driveway.

Trowa and Duo walked off towards him.

"I wonder where that guy could be? He never misses our Saturday night poker game." Duo was grumbling, "Jeez, first Heero bails on us and now him . . . we can't play only the three of us." Hey, he thought cheerfully, I know. Wade loves poker! . . . .

**************************

Heero pulled up in a certain silver lambourghini, that looked very familiar to Relena. She laughed as she hopped in, "Nice car, does Milliardo know you're borrowing it again?"

Heero shrugged, "Jag's in the shop." he replied, avoiding her question. "So where do you want to go?"

It was Relena's turn to shrug, "I dunno."

Heero turned the ignition and the car roared to life once again. He backed out with precision all the while racking his brain for a suitable place to take Relena on a date. When nothing came to mind, he looked down for a minute and then offered this, "Somewhere without a dress code." Blue jeans and his favourite orange golf shirt was the extent of Heero's 'good' clothes. Meanwhile Relena donned a simple light blue dress that had an empire waist and spaghetti straps. Her hair was piled artfully atop her head.

"How about Anthony's downtown?" she suggested.

Having been driving in the opposite direction of downtown, Heero nodded and then did a 180 effortlessly to correct. The drive thereon was eventless.They arrived at Anthony's, a reputable dining establishment known for the good food and occaisional round of drinks on the house, and were seated within seconds.

Sitting across from each other, silence hung in between them. Relena made a grab at some light conversation, -- "So, what's up with the jag?" Heero shrugged, -- to no avail.

Heero looked up at Relena who seemed to be pondering something else to bring up, he gave a slight smile, "Duo was over-" he began to explain.

Relena laughed and put her hand up to stop him, "Enough said." She then looked up to Heero to find that he had found new interest in the menu, "Ya know, you and Duo make a good pair, an odd pair, but a good one."

From the edge of the menu, an inquisitive eyebrow could be seen. "I think you over-estimate my friendship with him." he said dryly.

"Not like that!" Relena responded sheepishly, " I mean, it's good that you have him around." She leaned over the table to him and reaching out, grabbed his menu down so that they were at eye-level with each other, "He keeps you in touch with this little thing I like to call 'life'."

"He tries to." Heero added, in spite of himself.

*************************************

"AH, man." Duo sighed as he kicked a stone out of his way, "I can't believe this! Two recruits and two no-shows! All because of some stupid pool pump? What's up with that?" he dug his hands into his pockets, trudging along beside Trowa.

"Guess it's time for you to go on back home to your junkpile." Wufei quipped.

"Hey! It may be a junkpile, but it's my junkpile!" Duo defended.

Just then someone came hurtling through the trio, knocking Duo on his arse and sending Trowa flying into Wufei.

"Why I oughta-"

"You idiopathic cur! By my-"

However both Wufei and Duo stopped short, as their unknown assailant circled around and greeted them, "Hey, guys!" Quatre exclaimed. He did not at all look very Quatre-esc. His hair was disheveled, his clothes were untidy and mismatched; he looked like he had gotten ready in the dark all the while fleeing for his life.

"Quatre, I didn't know you could rollerblade." Trowa said.

Quatre looked down at the blades he wore, "Neither did I, until tonight that is."

Duo regarded his friend with a suspicious eye, " Rollerblading? You ditched our poker game for rollerblading? You better have a girl come crashing into me too. And soon, because that, man, is totally unacceptable."

"The game!" Quatre said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. It must have slipped my mind. Maybe I should get some gingko-biloba too . . . Hey, I'll make it up to you guys! How about I take you to Starbucks, no wait, I've got a better idea!" He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper, "This," he explained, showing the paper to his friends, "Is going to change the world! Come on! Follow me! I got a plan, I need your help!" with that he sped off again.

With little else to do, the remainder of the Gboys gave a shrug in unison and followed the little critter off on this 'mission'.

*******************************

"Well, dinner was good, don't you think?" Relena casually asked as she and Heero strolled down the street together. It was all lit up with different advertisements and the air smelled of summer blooms.

Heero gave an intense stare into seemingly nothing but then nodded, "Good, yeah."

"So . . . I picked dinner, now you have to pick something!" Relena challenged.

"Uh . . . ."

"Heero, come on, it's not that hard." Relena spun around, "Look at everything here, there's gotta be something you're interested in."

Heero's glance danced to a nearby RadioShack, but he dismissed the idea. Nothing else seemed to hold much promise. He shrugged, "Why don't we just walk and talk?"

"You're joking right?" Relena smirked. When Heero didn't respond, her smile broadened and she nodded, slipping her arm into his, "Okay. So how's work at the Preventer's going? . . . .

**************************************

"Did you actually cook up this plan all by yourself, Quatre?" Duo asked, amazed at the complexity and brainwork put into the plan he had just been told.

"Well, no." Quatre admitted, "I was watching morning cartoons and well, that Coyote just inspired me!"

"Since when do you watch cartoons?" Wufei dared to ask of reformed Quatre.

"Since he rollerblades." Trowa answered. The four of them sat on the roof of a Starbucks. Quatre, foremost to the other pilots, had laid out his piece of paper and explained his revolutionary plan while his friends listened in awe.

Duo suddenly began laughing, he slapped Quatre on the back. "Ahh, that was a good one, Q-man, really. You had us all going there for a minute." Quatre glared at the braided wonder with disdain. He looked over to Wufei and Trowa who were both sporting smirks but were nodding their share of credit to the boy.

"This isn't a joke!" Quatre yelled, "Starbucks is just a front for an international conspiracy led by the leaders of Earth and the colonies. If we don't do something to stop them, their scheme bent on world domination through genetically altered coffee beans will lead to the apacolypse!"

*****************************************

"Relena," Heero stepped in front of her in order to face her, "actually, there is something I've been meaning to talk to you about." he grabbed hold of her hands in his, steeling himself for the moment he had been practicing over and over in his head for the past hour.

"Yes, Heero?"

**************************************

"I see it now," Quatre stood up and clutched his paper protectively, "You're part of the conspiracy, aren't you? Don't worry friends, I'll save you from their brainwashing! You will be their minions no longer!"

"Whoa, Quatre. Just calm down." Duo got up, his hands held defensively in front of him.

Quatre flinched. He stepped back anxiously and pulled a gun from behind him, "Stay back, all of you! I'll have none of you terrorist ways! The Liberation, my revolution, will be my tribute to you!" His heroic speech done, Quatre pulled out yet another contraption from behind his back - this one resembling something Batman might have used - snapped the trigger and glided off to martyrdom down the rope the gadget projected.

****************************************

Heero looked away for a moment, then down at the hands his held. "This date . . . well, I wanted to tell you something. . . " he trailed off again, then with renewed confidence as Relena squeezed his hands encouragingly, he looked up to her, "Relena, you mean more to me than anything else. I would do anything to make sure you were never hurt ever again." a tear rolled down her cheek, he brushed it away gently, "I -"

**************************************

"In the name of my comrades and oppressed coffee beans everywhere!" Quatre screamed at the top of his lungs as he swung down from the roof of the Starbucks, "I will vanquish the foul demon that has hidden itself right under your noses citizens. I will-" the latter end of his delivery was put to an end as the cord on which he clung snapped and had him fall the rest of the eight feet to the ground.

***************************************

Relena had seen the dark figure on top of the roof of the Starbucks, but had paid it no attention. Past Heero's choppy hair, directly in her line of sight she could now clearly see who it was. Though her heart ached to hear what she knew was coming, concern for her friend vocalized defiantly, "Oh my god! Is that Quatre?"

Heero's last sentence, the three words he had worked so hard to utter, were completely swallowed up by Relena's frantic cry and then the gasps and shouts of onlookers.

****************************************

Quatre got up shakily, "Fear not, citizens. I am unharmed." he said triumphantly.

***************************************

Heero reluctantly turned around to see Quatre amidst the crowd that had gathered. From up above, Duo, Trowa and Wufei could be seen watching in disbelief. Duo must have caught sight of Heero because he waved until he got his attention.

"Heero! Get him! He's gone mad!" Duo instructed once he did.

Heero, with his patented Death Glare now fixed on the Arabian waving off concerned passerbys and going on about some conspiracy to the public, nodded solenmly. I'll get him. he thought, narrowed eyes swimming with cold hate.

*****************************************

Quatre didn't know what hit him. He was explaining the evils of Starbucks as he seen his flash of buring prussian blue and then the next thing he knew, he had found the solid ground once more, but this time with his head. As consciousness slipped away, he faintly recalled the words "Omae o koruso." before complete darkness engulfed him.

*****************************************

Quatre woke up, rubbing his head. Everyone was around his bed watching him carefully. Then he realized he wasn't in his bed, but moreso the stiff kind the hospital uses, the ones that smelled like formaldehyde and mouthwash.

"What happened?" he asked the assemblage.

"Quatre, we almost lost you." Relena exclaimed.

"You ODed, man." Duo clarified.

"I what? But I've never touched any kind of narcotics in my life!"

"Wasn't drugs," Wufei said, "Purely caffeine."

Duo looked bashful, "Those pills," he laughed nervously, "See, I switched them for the coffee beans Hilde had bought the other day. I like the instant stuff ya know, Maxwell House, so I wanted to get rid of them. I didn't actually think you'd mistake them for those pills of yours!" he explained, "I'm so sorry!"

Quatre laughed, "Is that all? Wow . . . .Well, back to tea, I guess."

"Those coffee beans must have been drugged or something. There's no way -" Relena was cut off,

Duo grabbed an extra sheet from the bedside table and wrapped it around himself like a cape. Opening it up, he said, "Look, I'm Quatre. I am the terror that walks in the night - I am the warrior of the java beans! Mwa ha ha ha!" Everyone laughed, everyone that is except Heero.

fin

Ahhh, maybe next time. Tee hee, who here wants to kill me now? *narrator voice* Thus the exciting conclusion to our story ends. ra ha ha. Thanks for reading. Oh, and tell me what ya think? Shoud I forgo another GWfic for the sake of the characters? You never know, I might add a sequel to this and you know what that means . . . sequels always finish what the originals started . . . .