The Desease that Killed Love

Chapter 9-Yelan

( Written 2 days before her death)

I didn't know if I really deserved it, but Syaoran forgave me. He didn't come to my room and say so, but there are connections between the mother and child that perhaps no scientist can understand. However distant Syaoran may seem, and however thin the line is, the connection is there, and I sensed he forgave me. He seemed to have regained most of his senses, and I heard him one day saying to Kero,
" It's no use being angry at her, I mean, even if she did tell me my reaction would probably be the same. I don't know. It's not really her fault."

And no matter what way one looks at it I knew he was right. It was the fault of no one. It simply happened. None of us intended it should be so. My husband died, and I did not plan to have anymore children. Yue did not plan to have any either. How it happened, we still don't know. Yue and I had never been close. So it wasn't my fault, and it certainly wasn't his. To be angry is to be in self pity. And although self pity may be understandable, it certainly wasn't logical. And Yue seemed to be kind enough to my child.

I did realize something that had changed from the day of the announcement. Syaoran hardly ever spoke with Sakura. There were times when I recognized a confused look the the poor girl's eyes, not understanding what did Syaoran have against her. Was it because Yue was her guardian? But Yue and Syaoran had settled their matters between them. I didn't really understand it. And neither did Yue. Even when I talked with him.

Basically all went well, better than I had hoped. I still worry over where he goes when he sleeps, or faints, but Yue was making some strange effort to drag him back. Syaoran went there less and less. And his painful seizures happen less and less too. Sometimes I hoped Yue cured him. Until one rude awakening.

I received a message from one of the servants that another relative from another house is coming over to discuss matters with some other magical forces astirring which I will not speak of here. It wouldn't have been a problem if they didn't have a same aged boy who is very disagreeable with Syaoran. I prayed that things would change.

It didn't.

The child was named Li Xuyan, a tall boy of ten with dull brown eyes and jet black hair. He too, plays the cello, perhaps one reason he hates Syaoran so much, and takes martial arts training. He is regarded as handsome in our opinion, meaning Chinese, since his eyes, though dull, are large and the tops stretch further away from where the two edges connect, what we call " Phoenix Eyes", since they look like a head of the Chinese phoenix. He has a rather high nose, although not too high, and his skin is pale. He has thick bone structure, unlike Syaoran who probably would have looked feminine if it hadn't been for his thick brows. Although Xuyan does not have such firm muscles, it will grow, for he's only ten. He hardly ever gets sick, although I don't connect with them so I don't really know.

Xuyan is always competing against Syaoran, one trait my son truly resents. And the funny thing was, everything that includes thinking and common sense, Syaoran defeats him. Xuyan was good at math, good in science, but Syaoran was better, and always gets hundreds. Xuyan would get ninety nines, ninety eights, also good but as he sometimes mutters " Almost perfect but not enough." Syaoran was very good at the cello, having won first place in every competition he went to however few, and performing almost two concerts a year, a great achievement for someone of his health. Xuyan also gets first place, but only if Syaoran wasn't there. If Syaoran was, Xuyan gets second. Or perhaps third. He goes to more concerts, but he always had a grudge against Syaoran. Every time Syaoran defeated him. Xuyan would glare at him, his dull eyes flaring up. Everytime he defeated Syaoran, his eyes will flare, different, but still glowing, a dark mockery. Syaoran had no ill feelings with Xuyan, but after a while the child suffered a lot. Especially when he started martial arts training.

Xuyan defeated Syaoran in everything that had to do with fighting. Sword fight, pole fight, spear, even the drunken tactic, or whatever you call it. This tactic is a different form of fighting. It's slow, very sneaky, has a lot of twists and turns, and can only be done if the fighter is half drunk. Which probably explains why Syaoran had a wine bottle. Syaoran could not handle so much wine. His body was too frail, and the same cup of wine that would not disturb the consciousness of another will make him fully drunk-a deadly mistake. And so Xuyan's one triumph was defeating Syaoran in fighting. I remember that day when Syaoran was leaving for Japan, Xuyan ran up and smiled this truly freaky smile.

" Wish you luck. You'll need it. I think the cards are for someone else though. But then again, if you're lucky, the girl will be weaker than you are."

One thing both boys share, however, is this trick of indirect offense. Someone of more vieled mind will not recognize the insult in the words. But Syaoran was no fool, but he did not talk back. Perhaps this is also what fueled Xuyan's hate. Syaoran never fought back at him. Never.

Xuyan arrived the next day, and I warned the others about it. Syaoran seemed more confident then usual, I guess because he had something that Xuyan couldn't make fun of ( such as a father). Xuyan had always brutally attacked Syaoran on the subject, calling him a bastard for both definitions. I'd swear that boy had psychological problems. It is what we call in Manderin " Wu liao" with no proper definition that I can think of so far. Xuyan and Syaoran had the same glaring contest as the one with Touya and Syaoran, I'm sure. Syaoran, in this case, pulled back first, and Xuyan got the victory he wanted.

Yukito immediately noticed the tension between the two. He drew his son to him.
" This is Li Xuyan?" He asked pleasantly, but his eyes are keen.
" Hai." I said in Japanese, as he did.
" I guess you didn't defeat the girl, eh?" Xuyan sneered in Cantonese.
" No," Syaoran said slowly, in Chinese. " But I did defeat you, I believe. You didn't offer to try to capture the cards."
" It's folly." Xuyan waved it off. The two boys are too smart. " Only an idiot would consider it."
" Then I suppose it's no surprise that Ying Hua won." Syaoran replied calmly. " But I guess it was a surprise that I didn't faint two hundred times as you had predicted."

Yukito looked down at him strangely.
" Ah." Xuyan nodded. " Then how much? One hundred ninety nine?"
" Zero, as far as I can remember." Syaoran seemed to be thinking. " Unless you count sleeping as fainting, in which you faint more than I do."
Xuyan paled. " To which I don't count." He said flatly.
" So which defeat are you talking about, Xuyan?" Syaoran asked. " I made it through the Final Judgement, if that's what you're thinking, even if I didn't pass."
" Yue most likely knew how weak you were." Xuyan answered.
" Actually, he didn't, did you?" Syaoran looked at Yukito. " You were as surprised as the rest of them, I believe."
" Why are you talking to him?" Xuyan blinked. " Unless..."
" One thing you haven't learned, Li Xuyan," Syaoran continued, " Is how to control your mouth. The Chinese philosophers knew what they were talking about when they said that all problems come from your tongue."
" Is that why it took you three years to learn to talk, Li Syaoran?"
" Perhaps that was for the better." Syaoran swallowed. " I can recall many times when you nearly got yourself into an incident you cannot get out of."
" Pei!" Xuyan's eyes flared. Yukito tightened his grip on our child. " And how many times have you gotten into trouble, Mr. Punctual?"
" Actually, a lot of times." Syaoran replied. " But not because of what I said, thankfully. It was more of because there are other tongues in this world that I couldn't control, yours respectively."
" Ahem!" Sakura interrupted in Japanese. " I have absolutely no idea what you two are talking about, but I can tell that it has something to do with Syaoran and mainly him, and also I heard Syaoran mention Ying Hua. Do you two mind not acting like Syaoran-kun and Oni-chan? Unless this Xuyan does not understand Japanese." She threw a hard look at the other boy.

It was probably not the best way to break an argument or a collection of insults, but Sakura was never good at breaking them, and this was probably her best so far, since she actually broke it. I sighed in relief in my mind that I didn't have to be rude towards my nephew and in turn, my cousin.

" Yelan." My cousin was standing next to me. " I'm truly sorry."
" I am too. But a lot of things have happened to Syaoran." I apologized, even though I really had no reason to.
" Let us discuss what we came here to discuss, and hopefully the children will settle themselves." My cousin said.

And we left the children.