One month later~~~~
It was the night of the big performance. Fred and George were handing out the programs, grinning as each of the spectators took one. Dumbledore took his seat by Arthur, Molly, and Ginny Weasley in the Great Hall, which had been transformed magically into a theater, and opened his program. Dumbledore's eyes widened when he saw why the twins were smiling so much. His program read:
Narrators - Fred and George Weasley
Concorde - George Weasley
French Guard - Fred Weasley
The Swamp King - George Weasley
Prince Frederick (Herbert) - Fred Weasley
Roger the Shrubber - Lee Jordan
King Harry - Harry Potter
Sir Hermione - Hermione Granger
Sir Seamus - Seamus Finnigan
Sir Neville - Neville Longbottom
Draco the squire - Draco Malfoy
Cart Master Dean - Dean Thomas
Seamus the Customer - Seamus Finnigan
Dead Neville - Neville Longbottom
Dennis - Terry Boot
Susan - Susan Bones
Black Knight - Vincent Goyle
Green Knight - Gregory Crabbe
The Witch - Susan Bones
Oliver - Oliver Wood
God - N/A
Historian - Justin Finch-Fletchley
Historians Wife - Hannah Abbot
Minstrel - Oliver Wood
Dean the Enchanter - Dean Thomas
Head Knight of Ni - Marcus Flint
Knights of Ni - Slytherin Quidditch Team
Old Crone - Pansy Parkinson
Sir Ronsalot - Ron Weasley
Old Percy The Bridge Keeper - Percy Weasley
Princess Lucky - Percy Weasley
Concorde stand in - Charlie Weasley
And Others
Special Guests:
Bill and Charlie Weasley
And a few other unmentionables.
This is a product of The Weasley Wizard Wheezes!
Before Dumbledore could do anything about it, though, the play was starting...
~~*/^\*~~
The curtain went up, and Fred and George stepped out into the spotlight. They cleared their throats, and announced in loud voices...
"Harry Python and the Holy Stone!"
They left the stage and the lights dimmed. When the lights came back up, there was a small castle in the foreground and an illusion of empty moor in the background. The sound of hooves clopping could be heard, and then two figures entered. They turned out to be King Harry and his squire, Draco, banging two coconut halves together. They 'rode' up to the castle, and Harry commands them to stop.
"Whoa there."
"Halt, who goes there?" Percy asks from the top of the wall.
"It is I, Harry, son of James Pendragon, from the castle of Hogwarts. King of the Britons, Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Sovereign of all England!"
Percy says, "Pull the other one!"
"I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Draco. We have ridden the length and breadth of this land in search of Knights who will join me at my court at Hogwarts. I must speak with your lord and master."
"What, ridden on a horse?"
"Yes." Harry says, confused at the turn of the conversation.
"You're using coconuts."
"What?"
"You've got two empty halves of coconuts, and you're bangin' em together."
"So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through..."
"Where'd you get the coconuts?"
"We found them."
"Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is the temperate zone!"
"The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin and the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?" Harry asked, defending himself.
"Are you suggestin' coconuts migrate?" Percy retaliates.
"Not at all. They could be carried."
"What, a swallow carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it by the husk."
"It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios. A 5 ounce bird could not possibly carry a 1 pound coconut."
"Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Harry from the court of Hogwarts is here?"
Percy wasn't even acting when he replied. "Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat it's wings forty-three times every second, right?"
"Please!"
"Am I right?"
"I'm not interested!"
Cedric Diggory appears beside Percy on the wall. "It could be carried by an African swallow."
"An African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point."
"Oh, yeah, I agree with that."
"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Hogwarts?" Harry shouted over the argument.
"But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory." Percy said.
"Oh yeah."
"So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway."
Harry signaled to Draco and they clopped away off stage, leaving the discussion still going strong.
"Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!" Cedric pointed out.
"No, they'd have to have it on a line."
"Well, simple! They just use a strand of creeper!"
"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?" Percy asked.
"Well, why not?"
With Cedric's last words, the lights go out. The whole audience is heard cracking themselves up with laughter. And that was only the first scene.
It was the night of the big performance. Fred and George were handing out the programs, grinning as each of the spectators took one. Dumbledore took his seat by Arthur, Molly, and Ginny Weasley in the Great Hall, which had been transformed magically into a theater, and opened his program. Dumbledore's eyes widened when he saw why the twins were smiling so much. His program read:
Narrators - Fred and George Weasley
Concorde - George Weasley
French Guard - Fred Weasley
The Swamp King - George Weasley
Prince Frederick (Herbert) - Fred Weasley
Roger the Shrubber - Lee Jordan
King Harry - Harry Potter
Sir Hermione - Hermione Granger
Sir Seamus - Seamus Finnigan
Sir Neville - Neville Longbottom
Draco the squire - Draco Malfoy
Cart Master Dean - Dean Thomas
Seamus the Customer - Seamus Finnigan
Dead Neville - Neville Longbottom
Dennis - Terry Boot
Susan - Susan Bones
Black Knight - Vincent Goyle
Green Knight - Gregory Crabbe
The Witch - Susan Bones
Oliver - Oliver Wood
God - N/A
Historian - Justin Finch-Fletchley
Historians Wife - Hannah Abbot
Minstrel - Oliver Wood
Dean the Enchanter - Dean Thomas
Head Knight of Ni - Marcus Flint
Knights of Ni - Slytherin Quidditch Team
Old Crone - Pansy Parkinson
Sir Ronsalot - Ron Weasley
Old Percy The Bridge Keeper - Percy Weasley
Princess Lucky - Percy Weasley
Concorde stand in - Charlie Weasley
And Others
Special Guests:
Bill and Charlie Weasley
And a few other unmentionables.
This is a product of The Weasley Wizard Wheezes!
Before Dumbledore could do anything about it, though, the play was starting...
~~*/^\*~~
The curtain went up, and Fred and George stepped out into the spotlight. They cleared their throats, and announced in loud voices...
"Harry Python and the Holy Stone!"
They left the stage and the lights dimmed. When the lights came back up, there was a small castle in the foreground and an illusion of empty moor in the background. The sound of hooves clopping could be heard, and then two figures entered. They turned out to be King Harry and his squire, Draco, banging two coconut halves together. They 'rode' up to the castle, and Harry commands them to stop.
"Whoa there."
"Halt, who goes there?" Percy asks from the top of the wall.
"It is I, Harry, son of James Pendragon, from the castle of Hogwarts. King of the Britons, Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Sovereign of all England!"
Percy says, "Pull the other one!"
"I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Draco. We have ridden the length and breadth of this land in search of Knights who will join me at my court at Hogwarts. I must speak with your lord and master."
"What, ridden on a horse?"
"Yes." Harry says, confused at the turn of the conversation.
"You're using coconuts."
"What?"
"You've got two empty halves of coconuts, and you're bangin' em together."
"So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through..."
"Where'd you get the coconuts?"
"We found them."
"Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is the temperate zone!"
"The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin and the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?" Harry asked, defending himself.
"Are you suggestin' coconuts migrate?" Percy retaliates.
"Not at all. They could be carried."
"What, a swallow carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it by the husk."
"It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios. A 5 ounce bird could not possibly carry a 1 pound coconut."
"Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Harry from the court of Hogwarts is here?"
Percy wasn't even acting when he replied. "Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat it's wings forty-three times every second, right?"
"Please!"
"Am I right?"
"I'm not interested!"
Cedric Diggory appears beside Percy on the wall. "It could be carried by an African swallow."
"An African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point."
"Oh, yeah, I agree with that."
"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Hogwarts?" Harry shouted over the argument.
"But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory." Percy said.
"Oh yeah."
"So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway."
Harry signaled to Draco and they clopped away off stage, leaving the discussion still going strong.
"Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!" Cedric pointed out.
"No, they'd have to have it on a line."
"Well, simple! They just use a strand of creeper!"
"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?" Percy asked.
"Well, why not?"
With Cedric's last words, the lights go out. The whole audience is heard cracking themselves up with laughter. And that was only the first scene.
