Chapter 5- (Hypothetically Dad)
Klinger finished typing the last letter on his paper ceremoniously. He snatched it from the typewriter and kissed it, "Max, you genius, this is it, your ticket home!" Whistling, he walked over to a large crate in his office. He stepped inside it and slid the top off, whistling away the whole time. "This is it, Max old boy, I-corps, Kimpo, then home to Toledo!"
A large truck rumbled into the compound, stopping at the office. Two men stepped out and looked around in Klinger's office. They loaded the crate roughly into the truck, "Whew, General Harrison sure needs some heavy medical equipment back in the United States," one complained. They sped out of the compound, hitting every bump along the way, clueless to the Lebanese cargo onboard.
Hawkeye held the office door open for the two large men carrying a box, curious about it but with more important things to think of. He wanted to discuss BJ's situation with Potter, but he didn't want to give away Beej's identity. Hawk decided that he would switch the story around a bit, just so the Col. wouldn't be able to quite figure it out. He took a deep breath and opened Potter's office door.
"Uh, Col. Can I have a word with you?"
"All right Pierce, what's on the 'ole noggin?"
"Well, let's just say I have this hypothetical guy who has this hypothetical problem. Hypothetically."
"OK."
"Well this let's say this hypothetical guy, has done something with an exceptionally hypothetical nurse, and this hypothetical nurse is now exceptionally hypothetically pregnant."
"Uh huh." Potter began to wonder if this hypothetical guy was hypothetical Hawkeye, "Continue, son."
"And what if, hypothetically, this exceptional, hypothetical nurse were already hypothetically married, and somehow, my friend, he hypothetically found out that she was pregnant and hypothetically wrote her husband a hypothetical letter, telling him he hypothetically knew?"
"One question Pierce. Do I know this hypothetical guy and this hypothetical nurse?"
"Hypothetically? Yes sir."
"OK." Potter became even more convinced that this hypothetical story was about Hawkeye, but he wasn't quite sure which nurse he was talking about. "There were several nurses on camp who were married," he thought to himself, "Lt. Caver, Lt. Peters, Lt. Connor, Margaret, Lt. Roesh... Margaret?!" The little wheels in his head started spinning furiously, soon Potter became quite worried at the possibility that Margaret was pregnant with Hawkeye's child, only to quickly replace his worries, with anger. Margaret was like a daughter to him and he didn't want to see her in any type of trouble. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
"So now, should the hypothetical guy accept this hypothetical child into his hypothetical life, even though he's not quite sure if this hypothetical child is hypothetically his?"
"Well Pierce," he was trying to tactfully find out if Hawk was the hypothetical father, "if he's the father-"
"Yeah but hypothetically he might not be the father," Hawk interrupted Potter.
"...if he's the father, then he-"
"But what if he's not the hypothetical father? Oh but what if he IS the hypothetical father?" Hawk interrupted again, pacing the room.
"PIERCE! If this hypothetical child is hypothetically 'his', then he better make DAMN SURE THAT HE TAKES CARE OF IT!! Comprende?" Potter said, then with a smile, "And congratulations, son. Hypothetically, of course."
"Uhhh." Hawkeye was completely lost and had the feeling Potter was joining him for the ride. "Comprendo? Hypothetically, thanks Col... I think." Hawkeye got up and left the office more confused about the situation than before.
Klinger finished typing the last letter on his paper ceremoniously. He snatched it from the typewriter and kissed it, "Max, you genius, this is it, your ticket home!" Whistling, he walked over to a large crate in his office. He stepped inside it and slid the top off, whistling away the whole time. "This is it, Max old boy, I-corps, Kimpo, then home to Toledo!"
A large truck rumbled into the compound, stopping at the office. Two men stepped out and looked around in Klinger's office. They loaded the crate roughly into the truck, "Whew, General Harrison sure needs some heavy medical equipment back in the United States," one complained. They sped out of the compound, hitting every bump along the way, clueless to the Lebanese cargo onboard.
Hawkeye held the office door open for the two large men carrying a box, curious about it but with more important things to think of. He wanted to discuss BJ's situation with Potter, but he didn't want to give away Beej's identity. Hawk decided that he would switch the story around a bit, just so the Col. wouldn't be able to quite figure it out. He took a deep breath and opened Potter's office door.
"Uh, Col. Can I have a word with you?"
"All right Pierce, what's on the 'ole noggin?"
"Well, let's just say I have this hypothetical guy who has this hypothetical problem. Hypothetically."
"OK."
"Well this let's say this hypothetical guy, has done something with an exceptionally hypothetical nurse, and this hypothetical nurse is now exceptionally hypothetically pregnant."
"Uh huh." Potter began to wonder if this hypothetical guy was hypothetical Hawkeye, "Continue, son."
"And what if, hypothetically, this exceptional, hypothetical nurse were already hypothetically married, and somehow, my friend, he hypothetically found out that she was pregnant and hypothetically wrote her husband a hypothetical letter, telling him he hypothetically knew?"
"One question Pierce. Do I know this hypothetical guy and this hypothetical nurse?"
"Hypothetically? Yes sir."
"OK." Potter became even more convinced that this hypothetical story was about Hawkeye, but he wasn't quite sure which nurse he was talking about. "There were several nurses on camp who were married," he thought to himself, "Lt. Caver, Lt. Peters, Lt. Connor, Margaret, Lt. Roesh... Margaret?!" The little wheels in his head started spinning furiously, soon Potter became quite worried at the possibility that Margaret was pregnant with Hawkeye's child, only to quickly replace his worries, with anger. Margaret was like a daughter to him and he didn't want to see her in any type of trouble. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
"So now, should the hypothetical guy accept this hypothetical child into his hypothetical life, even though he's not quite sure if this hypothetical child is hypothetically his?"
"Well Pierce," he was trying to tactfully find out if Hawk was the hypothetical father, "if he's the father-"
"Yeah but hypothetically he might not be the father," Hawk interrupted Potter.
"...if he's the father, then he-"
"But what if he's not the hypothetical father? Oh but what if he IS the hypothetical father?" Hawk interrupted again, pacing the room.
"PIERCE! If this hypothetical child is hypothetically 'his', then he better make DAMN SURE THAT HE TAKES CARE OF IT!! Comprende?" Potter said, then with a smile, "And congratulations, son. Hypothetically, of course."
"Uhhh." Hawkeye was completely lost and had the feeling Potter was joining him for the ride. "Comprendo? Hypothetically, thanks Col... I think." Hawkeye got up and left the office more confused about the situation than before.
