Chapter 9- (send the clowns... er, um... casualties)
"Uh Col. Potter sir?" Radar stepped gently into the Col.'s tent to wake him.
"What is it Radar." Potter said groggily feeling the headache from last night's events.
"Well, sir, it's 6am and breakfast is being...uh oh." Radar suddenly interrupted himself.
"What?"
"Choppers sir."
"I don't."
"Wait for it."
Sure enough as soon as Radar had finished his sentence the noise from the incoming choppers began to be heard and the camp ran into a flurry of excitement, including Radar.
"CHOPPERS!" He yelled as he was running out of the Col.'s tent.
BJ had the first real night's sleep he'd had in a long time...calm... peaceful..... alcohol induced. The sun had just started to rise when the Swamprats were woken by a gentle whirring that was getting louder, and a cpl. with a squeaky voice.
ATTENTION, ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL: INCOMING WOUNDED, GRAB YOUR SADDLE HIT THE TRAIL, IT'S GOING TO BE ONE HECK OF A RIDE.
"BJ, please tell me that is Charles's snoring."
"Ah ha.very funny you imbeciles. Get up, casualties are coming in and I don't intend to do it myself." Charles said in his usual high held manner.
"Oh do we have to get up? I was having the most wonderful dream. I was dead." Hawkeye said in a whiny voice.
All three quickly threw on their pants and combat boots and ran over to triage.
"Looks like a nasty chest wound, prep him for surgery, I'll do him first." Hawkeye told the nurse and ran over to another patient. "How are you doing Beej?"
"Fine, got a head case and a few minor ones, but nothing too serious yet."
"RADAR!" Potter yelled.
"Yes sir?" Radar said standing right behind the Col. startling him.
"Get on."
"...I called Gen Embry, sir, and told him we were getting heavy casualties...
"...the phone to General Embry and tell him to divert some to the..."
"...I asked him to send some of them to the 8063rd...."
"...8063rd."
"Yes sir, on my way!" Radar ran off to help carry a litter in. "Oh and sir..."
"Oh Radar," Potter called after him.
"...I sent Mrs. Potter a birthday card, sir...
"...make sure you send my wife a birthday card..."
"...it's lovely picked it out myself."
"I don't want to miss it. Good."
"Yes sir." Radar said scurrying off.
Potter had become so used to Radar knowing what he wanted he stopped bothering to ask how he did it.
"OK, I'm going to go scrub, Margaret, can you finish up out here?" Hawkeye asked.
"No problem, Pierce."
"Hey Beej, you coming?"
"Yeah I'll be in, give me one second. OK, give him Morphine ¼ IM stat then get him prepped for surgery."
The four doctors scrubbed for surgery. After a short time, they were all elbow-deep in patient. "How is everyone doing?" Hawk asked, turning into Chief Surgeon Pierce again.
"Fine, except this kid can't be more than 18, and already he's got enough shrapnel in him to open a junk yard." BJ said in a serious, but lighthearted manner.
"I have an idea. How about we all gather up today's collection, package it up and send it to the Peace Talks, then maybe they'll have an idea of what the hell is going on." Hawkeye began one of his anti-war rants again, without anyone's displeasure of hearing it... except possibly Maj. Winchester.
"Must we have all this chatter? I'm trying to work here."
"Oh, see, we're just standing around waiting for the cross-town bus, Chaaaarles."
"Enough, boys. And Pierce? You can do whatever you want with your leftover scrap, just don't hand deliver it if you do send it back up there. Comprende?"
"Yes dad."
"Uh Col. Potter sir." Radar came into the OR very sheepishly.
"Yes Radar."
"Uh sir, are you really busy?"
"No Radar, I'm just searching for my wristwatch. Of course I'm busy. What's the problem?"
"Uh, well I uh was ordering a new tractor for my mother about a month ago and for some reason they seem to have sent it here. Ah ha ha." Radar tried to laugh it off, but soon noticed he wasn't going to get the laugh in return as soon as he saw the surprised look on everyone's face. Through the window you could see the brand new, green, Ford tractor.
"How in blazing hell did you manage to mess that up Radar?" Potter asked.
"Well uh sir, when I was filling out the order form I put down this as the address, but forgot to check off the delivery address." Radar's true Iowa colors began to shine right through and the entire staff at the 4077th began to laugh.
"It's not funny! What am I going to do with a tractor?"
"I don't know," Hawk said, "have a tractor pull?"
"Thanks for the help Hawkeye." Radar was beginning to blush.
"Well why don't you trade it for something?"
"Yeah, get us something good." BJ said excitedly
"No, Radar, get on the horn and figure out a way to get it back to Iowa." Potter told the clerk.
"Oh you're no fun Col.!" Hawkeye jokingly said.
"My mom's going to kill me. The tractor was supposed to be there today."
"Well at least they got it here on time."
The laughter started up again. It was times like these that made the OR sessions less stressful and traumatic.
"Uh Col. Potter sir?" Radar stepped gently into the Col.'s tent to wake him.
"What is it Radar." Potter said groggily feeling the headache from last night's events.
"Well, sir, it's 6am and breakfast is being...uh oh." Radar suddenly interrupted himself.
"What?"
"Choppers sir."
"I don't."
"Wait for it."
Sure enough as soon as Radar had finished his sentence the noise from the incoming choppers began to be heard and the camp ran into a flurry of excitement, including Radar.
"CHOPPERS!" He yelled as he was running out of the Col.'s tent.
BJ had the first real night's sleep he'd had in a long time...calm... peaceful..... alcohol induced. The sun had just started to rise when the Swamprats were woken by a gentle whirring that was getting louder, and a cpl. with a squeaky voice.
ATTENTION, ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL: INCOMING WOUNDED, GRAB YOUR SADDLE HIT THE TRAIL, IT'S GOING TO BE ONE HECK OF A RIDE.
"BJ, please tell me that is Charles's snoring."
"Ah ha.very funny you imbeciles. Get up, casualties are coming in and I don't intend to do it myself." Charles said in his usual high held manner.
"Oh do we have to get up? I was having the most wonderful dream. I was dead." Hawkeye said in a whiny voice.
All three quickly threw on their pants and combat boots and ran over to triage.
"Looks like a nasty chest wound, prep him for surgery, I'll do him first." Hawkeye told the nurse and ran over to another patient. "How are you doing Beej?"
"Fine, got a head case and a few minor ones, but nothing too serious yet."
"RADAR!" Potter yelled.
"Yes sir?" Radar said standing right behind the Col. startling him.
"Get on."
"...I called Gen Embry, sir, and told him we were getting heavy casualties...
"...the phone to General Embry and tell him to divert some to the..."
"...I asked him to send some of them to the 8063rd...."
"...8063rd."
"Yes sir, on my way!" Radar ran off to help carry a litter in. "Oh and sir..."
"Oh Radar," Potter called after him.
"...I sent Mrs. Potter a birthday card, sir...
"...make sure you send my wife a birthday card..."
"...it's lovely picked it out myself."
"I don't want to miss it. Good."
"Yes sir." Radar said scurrying off.
Potter had become so used to Radar knowing what he wanted he stopped bothering to ask how he did it.
"OK, I'm going to go scrub, Margaret, can you finish up out here?" Hawkeye asked.
"No problem, Pierce."
"Hey Beej, you coming?"
"Yeah I'll be in, give me one second. OK, give him Morphine ¼ IM stat then get him prepped for surgery."
The four doctors scrubbed for surgery. After a short time, they were all elbow-deep in patient. "How is everyone doing?" Hawk asked, turning into Chief Surgeon Pierce again.
"Fine, except this kid can't be more than 18, and already he's got enough shrapnel in him to open a junk yard." BJ said in a serious, but lighthearted manner.
"I have an idea. How about we all gather up today's collection, package it up and send it to the Peace Talks, then maybe they'll have an idea of what the hell is going on." Hawkeye began one of his anti-war rants again, without anyone's displeasure of hearing it... except possibly Maj. Winchester.
"Must we have all this chatter? I'm trying to work here."
"Oh, see, we're just standing around waiting for the cross-town bus, Chaaaarles."
"Enough, boys. And Pierce? You can do whatever you want with your leftover scrap, just don't hand deliver it if you do send it back up there. Comprende?"
"Yes dad."
"Uh Col. Potter sir." Radar came into the OR very sheepishly.
"Yes Radar."
"Uh sir, are you really busy?"
"No Radar, I'm just searching for my wristwatch. Of course I'm busy. What's the problem?"
"Uh, well I uh was ordering a new tractor for my mother about a month ago and for some reason they seem to have sent it here. Ah ha ha." Radar tried to laugh it off, but soon noticed he wasn't going to get the laugh in return as soon as he saw the surprised look on everyone's face. Through the window you could see the brand new, green, Ford tractor.
"How in blazing hell did you manage to mess that up Radar?" Potter asked.
"Well uh sir, when I was filling out the order form I put down this as the address, but forgot to check off the delivery address." Radar's true Iowa colors began to shine right through and the entire staff at the 4077th began to laugh.
"It's not funny! What am I going to do with a tractor?"
"I don't know," Hawk said, "have a tractor pull?"
"Thanks for the help Hawkeye." Radar was beginning to blush.
"Well why don't you trade it for something?"
"Yeah, get us something good." BJ said excitedly
"No, Radar, get on the horn and figure out a way to get it back to Iowa." Potter told the clerk.
"Oh you're no fun Col.!" Hawkeye jokingly said.
"My mom's going to kill me. The tractor was supposed to be there today."
"Well at least they got it here on time."
The laughter started up again. It was times like these that made the OR sessions less stressful and traumatic.
