Chapter 10- (the great return)
BJ quickly stripped his OR scrubs and headed for the door. "Hey Beej, where're you running off too so fast? You act like you haven't been in surgery for 5 hours." Hawk wondered.
"Radar said there was mail, maybe Peg wrote. I need to go check."
Hawkeye had seen him do this every mail call for the past week, every since he sent the letter home.
"Hey Hawk? Come here," Beej called from Radar's office.
"Yeah, what?" Hawk asked as he entered the room.
"What's this? Medical Equipment? Heading TO the states? Hmmm 'insufficient postage'"
"I don't know, I've seen it before though, heading out about a week ago. Let's open it." Hawk suggested, prying open the lid.
"KLINGER?" they both exclaimed as the lid came off.
"Ba... bathroom?" Klinger whispered before passing out.
The two surgeons dragged the dehydrated Lebanese to post-op, starting him on IV fluids. After a few minutes, Klinger regained consciousness.
"Sirs..." he spoke softly, "sirs, can I have something to eat, please, I'm starving.
"Sure, Klinger, hey, Goldman, get a tray from the Mess tent, please. So... Klinger... you mind letting us know what was going on there?"
Goldman returned with a full try of food from the Mess tent and Klinger was quickly stuffing the food in his mouth. "You know, I never thought I'd be so happy to eat food from this place again," Klinger said through a full mouth.
"Klingerrrr, the story." Hawk reminded him.
"OK, so I had this great idea of how to get home. I was going to mail myself to Toledo. I had it all planned out, I had a canteen of water and plenty of C-rations, I figured two days, most. So these big guys pick me up, and oh so gently toss me in the truck. Then they drive down to I-corps, and manage to hit every bump in the road. After a while I got used to being tossed around. So then at I-corps, I'm sitting there... for four days. By then I had almost no food or water left, but they shipped me to Kimpo. I was so close, sir, I could almost smell Toledo. So then two Privates were about to load me on a plane when one noticed there were no orders on the box. They put me down and looked around a bit more for them, and then I remembered I had em inside with me." Klinger explained, finishing off the tray.
"... So, what happened then?"
"Well, they were going to send me back to I-corps if they didn't have orders, I was so close, I couldn't let that happen... so I pushed the orders through an air hole in the crate. The guys saw it and figured out what was going on. They shipped me back to I-corps anyway, where I sat for another 2 days. So then they finally bring me back here where you sirs found me."
Hawk and Beej couldn't help but laugh at Klinger's story, and they did, for about 15 minutes.
"What're you two making such a racket out here for? KLINGER? WHERE IN CARRIE'S CORSET AVE YOU BEEN?" Potter walked in the room.
"Well, you see Col., our little Klinger here has had quite an adventure the past week." Hawk explained the whole story and they laughed again, for another 15 minutes.
"Well, corporal, let me congratulate you. You've won yourself a month's KP duty. When you're healthy again, of course." the Colonel said sweetly.
"Hawk, if you've got it covered in here, I'm going to go check the mail, if you know what I mean," Beej asked.
"Yeah Beej, go ahead, I've got it here."
BJ quickly stripped his OR scrubs and headed for the door. "Hey Beej, where're you running off too so fast? You act like you haven't been in surgery for 5 hours." Hawk wondered.
"Radar said there was mail, maybe Peg wrote. I need to go check."
Hawkeye had seen him do this every mail call for the past week, every since he sent the letter home.
"Hey Hawk? Come here," Beej called from Radar's office.
"Yeah, what?" Hawk asked as he entered the room.
"What's this? Medical Equipment? Heading TO the states? Hmmm 'insufficient postage'"
"I don't know, I've seen it before though, heading out about a week ago. Let's open it." Hawk suggested, prying open the lid.
"KLINGER?" they both exclaimed as the lid came off.
"Ba... bathroom?" Klinger whispered before passing out.
The two surgeons dragged the dehydrated Lebanese to post-op, starting him on IV fluids. After a few minutes, Klinger regained consciousness.
"Sirs..." he spoke softly, "sirs, can I have something to eat, please, I'm starving.
"Sure, Klinger, hey, Goldman, get a tray from the Mess tent, please. So... Klinger... you mind letting us know what was going on there?"
Goldman returned with a full try of food from the Mess tent and Klinger was quickly stuffing the food in his mouth. "You know, I never thought I'd be so happy to eat food from this place again," Klinger said through a full mouth.
"Klingerrrr, the story." Hawk reminded him.
"OK, so I had this great idea of how to get home. I was going to mail myself to Toledo. I had it all planned out, I had a canteen of water and plenty of C-rations, I figured two days, most. So these big guys pick me up, and oh so gently toss me in the truck. Then they drive down to I-corps, and manage to hit every bump in the road. After a while I got used to being tossed around. So then at I-corps, I'm sitting there... for four days. By then I had almost no food or water left, but they shipped me to Kimpo. I was so close, sir, I could almost smell Toledo. So then two Privates were about to load me on a plane when one noticed there were no orders on the box. They put me down and looked around a bit more for them, and then I remembered I had em inside with me." Klinger explained, finishing off the tray.
"... So, what happened then?"
"Well, they were going to send me back to I-corps if they didn't have orders, I was so close, I couldn't let that happen... so I pushed the orders through an air hole in the crate. The guys saw it and figured out what was going on. They shipped me back to I-corps anyway, where I sat for another 2 days. So then they finally bring me back here where you sirs found me."
Hawk and Beej couldn't help but laugh at Klinger's story, and they did, for about 15 minutes.
"What're you two making such a racket out here for? KLINGER? WHERE IN CARRIE'S CORSET AVE YOU BEEN?" Potter walked in the room.
"Well, you see Col., our little Klinger here has had quite an adventure the past week." Hawk explained the whole story and they laughed again, for another 15 minutes.
"Well, corporal, let me congratulate you. You've won yourself a month's KP duty. When you're healthy again, of course." the Colonel said sweetly.
"Hawk, if you've got it covered in here, I'm going to go check the mail, if you know what I mean," Beej asked.
"Yeah Beej, go ahead, I've got it here."
