After a moment, the lights come back up, with a castle on one side of the stage, and a grassy sloping hill on the other side. The company of the Knights of the Round Table 'ride' up to the castle, and stop. Draco pulls out a long horn, and plays a long, horrible note on it, with the intention of summoning someone. No one comes out. Harry calls out,
"Hallo!" Still no one. Harry tries again. "Hallo!"
Finally, Fred appears on the top of the wall. "Allo. Who is eet?"
"It is King Harry, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?"
"This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard."
"Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Stone." Harry orders.
"Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see." Fred said in his horrible French accent.
"What?" Harry asked.
"He said he's already got one!" Sir Seamus supplied.
"Are you sure he's got one?"
"Oh, yes. It's very nice-a." he crouched down behind the ledge and whispered to Lee and George, who were behind him on the wall, "I told him we already got one." Lee and George chuckled.
"Well, u-uh, can we come up and have a look?" Harry asked.
"Of course not. You are English types-a." Fred called down.
"Well, what are you then?" Harry called back.
"I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly King-a."
"What are you doing in England?" Ronsalot called up. Seamus elbowed Ron, "That's my line!"
"Mind your own business." Fred said, ignoring the mishap.
"If you will not show us the Stone, we shall take your castle by force!" Harry threatened.
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Harry King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!" Fred taunted.
"What a strange person." Seamus commented.
"Now look here, my good man--..."
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your Father smelt of elderberries!" Fred insulted them with his French accent.
"Is there someone else up there we can talk to?" Seamus called up.
"No, now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"
"Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable." Harry threatened.
Fred turned to the guards behind him. "Fetchez le vache."
Lee, confused, asked, "Quoi?"
"Fetchez la vache." Fred repeated. A cow mooing can be heard.
Harry continued. "If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-" He was interrupted by the sound of a catapult firing, and a scared moo, as the cow flew over the wall. "Jesus Christ!" Harry swore as the cow fell towards earth, landing on one of the miscellaneous seventh year squires. Harry glanced at the cow and the squire, then pulled his sword out of it's sheathe. "Right!" He shouted. "Charge!" He, and the other Knights ran towards the castle with their swords out, and attacked the walls of the castle, while the various French knights threw animals at them. Fred was laughing his arse off. They were being pelted with animals, and they were being beaten. Harry made a strategic decision.
"Run away! Run away!" The knights took up the call, and screamed, "Run away! Run away!" as they ran towards a line of trees a ways away. The French Guards taunted them as they ran.
"Fiends! I'll tear them apart!" Sir Ronsalot cried when they stopped. Harry had to grab his shoulders to hold him back.
"No, no. No, no."
Sir Hermione said, "Sir! I have a plan, Sir."
The Company of the Round Table went offstage, and various sound effects were heard. To anyone who understood Muggle technology, it sounded like sawing, hammering, drilling, clanging, and random squeaking and crashing sounds. Finally, with much squeaking, a large wooden form, slightly resembling a rabbit was pushed up to the castle. It stopped and the knights pushing the rabbit ran back to where the others were waiting in the bushes. The French guards could be heard inside the castle, muttering to themselves in French.
"C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here..." They push the rabbit into the castle, and close the doors behind.
In the bushes, the Knights are having a meeting. Harry asks Sir Hermione,
"What happens now?"
"Well, now, uh, Ronsalot, Seamus, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the Rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!" Sir Hermione explains.
"Who leaps out?" Harry asks, seeing the glitch in the plan.
"Uh- Ronsalot, Seamus and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh..."
Harry sighs dejectedly, covering his face with his hand.
Sir Hermione tries to fix the situation. "Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--..."
Harry hits the top of her head, and makes the visor of her helmet fall down. Then the familiar 'twong' of the catapult firing is heard. The Knights look up, and see the rabbit falling towards them. "Run away!" Harry shouts, and they start running, yelling "Run away! Run away! Run away!"
What goes up must come down, and the rabbit is no exception. It landed on the same poor squire that the cow landed on. The Knights run away offstage without him, and the French taunts trail after them. The laughing of the guards can be heard as the lights go out.