After the argument and the music stopped, George said in the darkness,
"The Tale of Sir Seamus."
The lights came up, but dimmer than usual, with a hint of moonlight. The set is a thick forest, and a castle can be seen in the distance, that, with magic, comes steadily closer as Seamus pushes his way through the trees. Suddenly, Seamus looks up, and he can see through the branches a fiery outline of the Holy Stone inscribed upon the sky. Seamus inches closer to the castle, his strength renewed by the sight of the Stone. Finally, he arrives at the castle, and bangs on the door.
"Open the door!" Seamus shouts. "In the name of King Harry, open the door!"
Suddenly, just as the door was opening, the light flickers and goes out. Seamus yells, "Hey! What happened to the light?"
A spotlight graced the now empty stage. Professor McGonagall stepped out into the light. "Sorry for the interruption, but I can not allow this scene to take place. There is material in it, which is not appropriate for a school play, and therefore cannot be presented. That is it. Please continue." The light went out, and the next scene started.
George's voice came out of the darkness. "Well, even though we didn't see it, Sir Ronsalot had saved Sir Seamus from almost certain temptation, but they were still no nearer the Stone. Meanwhile, King Harry and Sir Hermione, not more than a swallow's flight away, had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallows' flights away-- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--..."
From behind the scenes, several people yelled, "Get on with it!"
"Oh, anyway. On to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Harry discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a starling-- oooh!" as George is shut up, forcefully.
The light comes up, and Harry and Hermione are sitting in a little hut with Percy, the Old Man. The old man is laughing his arse off.
"And the Enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Stone?" Harry asked. The old man continued to laugh.
"Where does he live?" Harry asked. Percy keeps laughing. "Old Man, where does he live?"
"He knows of a cave, a cave which no Man has entered." The old man said between laughs.
"And the Stone. The Stone is there?" Harry asked, excitedly.
"There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no Man has ever crossed."
"But the Stone! Where is the Stone?!" Harry was getting very upset with the man.
"Seek you the Bridge of Death."
"The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Stone?"
The old man started to laugh again, and the scene slowly faded into darkness. The darkness didn't last too long, and when the light came back, Harry and Hermione were traveling through a dense, dark forest. Suddenly,
"Ni!"
Marcus Flint, looking to be as tall as Hagrid, was suddenly standing in front of Harry and Hermione. The rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team were standing around as the Knights of Ni. They were chanting, "Ni! Ni! Ni!"
"Who are you?" Harry asked them.
"We are the Knights Who Say Ni!" Flint said. Several Ni Knights echoed his cry.
"No! Not the Knights Who Say Ni!" Harry cried.
"The same." Flint said.
"Who are they?" Sir Hermione asked Harry.
Flint answered. "We are the Keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng' and 'Neee-wom'!"
Someone in the back said, "Neee-wom."
Harry said to Hermione, "Those who hear them seldom live to hear the tale!"
"The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice!" Flint continued.
"Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods." Harry explained.
"Ni!" Flint cried. The others echoed him.
Harry and Hermione held their heads and moaned in pain. "Ow! Ow!"
"We shall say 'Ni' again to you if you do not appease us."
"Well, what is it you want?" Harry asked.
"We want...a shrubbery!" a dramatic chord sounded through the Great Hall.
"A what?" Harry asked.
"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The Knights cried.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" They moaned again, and Harry begged "Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery!"
"You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive." Flint threatened.
"Oh, Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery." Harry promised.
"One that looks nice." Flint said.
"Of course."
"And not too expensive." Flint said.
"Yes." Harry agreed.
"Now, go!"
"The Tale of Sir Seamus."
The lights came up, but dimmer than usual, with a hint of moonlight. The set is a thick forest, and a castle can be seen in the distance, that, with magic, comes steadily closer as Seamus pushes his way through the trees. Suddenly, Seamus looks up, and he can see through the branches a fiery outline of the Holy Stone inscribed upon the sky. Seamus inches closer to the castle, his strength renewed by the sight of the Stone. Finally, he arrives at the castle, and bangs on the door.
"Open the door!" Seamus shouts. "In the name of King Harry, open the door!"
Suddenly, just as the door was opening, the light flickers and goes out. Seamus yells, "Hey! What happened to the light?"
A spotlight graced the now empty stage. Professor McGonagall stepped out into the light. "Sorry for the interruption, but I can not allow this scene to take place. There is material in it, which is not appropriate for a school play, and therefore cannot be presented. That is it. Please continue." The light went out, and the next scene started.
George's voice came out of the darkness. "Well, even though we didn't see it, Sir Ronsalot had saved Sir Seamus from almost certain temptation, but they were still no nearer the Stone. Meanwhile, King Harry and Sir Hermione, not more than a swallow's flight away, had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallows' flights away-- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--..."
From behind the scenes, several people yelled, "Get on with it!"
"Oh, anyway. On to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Harry discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a starling-- oooh!" as George is shut up, forcefully.
The light comes up, and Harry and Hermione are sitting in a little hut with Percy, the Old Man. The old man is laughing his arse off.
"And the Enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Stone?" Harry asked. The old man continued to laugh.
"Where does he live?" Harry asked. Percy keeps laughing. "Old Man, where does he live?"
"He knows of a cave, a cave which no Man has entered." The old man said between laughs.
"And the Stone. The Stone is there?" Harry asked, excitedly.
"There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no Man has ever crossed."
"But the Stone! Where is the Stone?!" Harry was getting very upset with the man.
"Seek you the Bridge of Death."
"The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Stone?"
The old man started to laugh again, and the scene slowly faded into darkness. The darkness didn't last too long, and when the light came back, Harry and Hermione were traveling through a dense, dark forest. Suddenly,
"Ni!"
Marcus Flint, looking to be as tall as Hagrid, was suddenly standing in front of Harry and Hermione. The rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team were standing around as the Knights of Ni. They were chanting, "Ni! Ni! Ni!"
"Who are you?" Harry asked them.
"We are the Knights Who Say Ni!" Flint said. Several Ni Knights echoed his cry.
"No! Not the Knights Who Say Ni!" Harry cried.
"The same." Flint said.
"Who are they?" Sir Hermione asked Harry.
Flint answered. "We are the Keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng' and 'Neee-wom'!"
Someone in the back said, "Neee-wom."
Harry said to Hermione, "Those who hear them seldom live to hear the tale!"
"The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice!" Flint continued.
"Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods." Harry explained.
"Ni!" Flint cried. The others echoed him.
Harry and Hermione held their heads and moaned in pain. "Ow! Ow!"
"We shall say 'Ni' again to you if you do not appease us."
"Well, what is it you want?" Harry asked.
"We want...a shrubbery!" a dramatic chord sounded through the Great Hall.
"A what?" Harry asked.
"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The Knights cried.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" They moaned again, and Harry begged "Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery!"
"You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive." Flint threatened.
"Oh, Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery." Harry promised.
"One that looks nice." Flint said.
"Of course."
"And not too expensive." Flint said.
"Yes." Harry agreed.
"Now, go!"
