Chapter 16- (a tearful goodbye)

Beej stepped off the plane in Charleston, stretching after his long flight. "Whew, that seemed like a dozen hours with as many stopovers," BJ complained, happy to be off the plane.

"Driver, 153 East Monroe Drive, please." BJ instructed the cab driver.

Soon they pulled up in front of a small home, "$3.50, sir," the driver asked snapping Beej back to reality. He paid the man, still getting used to real money again instead of the military script. He got his bags and made his way up to the front door.

After knocking, he only had to wait a moment before Carrie opened the door and invited him in. "Hey, BJ, it's great to see you again," she said happily, "Please, meet your son, Steven," she handed him the baby.

"Oh, my," he beamed at the little boy, "he's beautiful Carrie! Oh... I can't even talk, I couldn't talk properly for 3 days after Erin was born, I was so happy," he said with a wide smile.

They sat on the living room sofa, BJ holding the baby, not wanting to let him go.

"So, Carrie, how have things been with him? Is he a good baby?"

"He's an excellent baby, no problem at all from him," she chuckled, though BJ could see something was bothering her.

"What's wrong Carrie?"

"Well, let me start by saying I love him..."

"Yeah..."

"Oh, BJ, I can't, I can't do this anymore, I can't raise him alone, it's difficult being away from him and finding someone to watch him and paying the bills. But the worst is... the worst is the people around here. I'm a divorced woman with a child by another man, I should basically just not exist, they treat me as so poorly."

BJ looked around the small house, noticing the dingy surroundings for the first time as dangerous to his son.

"I was going to give him up for adoption soon, that is,... that is if you don't want to take him. I know you and Peg have divorced and your being a single father might not be any easier than my being a single mother but I just want to give him a chance at a life. I hope you can provide it for him, but if you don't think you can, it's OK, there're probably plenty of people who could, but I can't," she stood, turning away from him so he couldn't see her tears.

"What happened to your mother, Carrie? I thought she was helping you." Beej's mind raced over what he was just asked to do and what it really meant.

"Oh, yeah, my mother!," Carrie exclaimed, wiping her face, "Yeah, she was a big help, she was great at first, but really she wanted me to give him up as soon as he was born and when I wouldn't, well, we haven't spoken since she called him a bastard."

"Carrie, I'm so sorry," BJ set the child down in it's bassinet and hugged Carrie in comfort and without a second thought, agreed, "Carrie, I'll take him, I'll take him with me. But you do know that means back to San Francisco, right?"

"Yes, I know, I am ready to accept that I wont be able to see him very often, but I want him to have the best life possible and that wont be with me." Carrie said, dejectedly.

"Carrie, just know you're welcome whenever you want to see him, OK? Just give me a call and I'll make all the arrangements, OK?"

"Sure," she said still sniffling, they both knew she would come there once, maybe twice, and then eventually, that would be it.

She waved goodbye to BJ as he headed out to the waiting cab, Steven in his arms. She was trying to be brave and smile as she watched them pull away, waiting until he was gone to collapse in tears.