In a moment, when the lights go back up, they're in a set that generally looked the same, but slightly different, with a cave in the background. There was the sound of horses whinnying.
"They're nervous, Sire." Seamus said about the 'horses'.
"Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot. Dis-mount!" Harry said. The Knights acted out the motions of dismounting from a horse, completely ignoring the fact that they never were riding horses to start with. Then they made their way down to a little ridge in front of the Cave.
"Behold the cave of Caerbannog!" Dean announced with a flourish.
"Right! Keep me covered." Harry said as he started to climb over the little ridge to get to the Cave.
"What with?" Seamus asked.
"W-- just keep me covered." Harry was going to continue on to the cave, when,
"Too late!" Dean cried. A dramatic chord sounded.
"What?" Harry asked, pausing.
"There he is!" Dean shouted.
"Where?" Harry asked, looking around.
"There!" Dean pointed to the cave. A Rat was waddling out of the cave.
"What, behind the Rat?" Harry asked.
"It is the Rat."
Harry whacked Dean on the side of the head. "You silly sod!"
"What?" Dean asked.
"You got us all worked up!"
Dean pointed towards the cave. "Well, that's no ordinary Rat!"
"Ohh."
"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!" Dean said enthusiastically.
"You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!" Sir Neville exclaimed.
"Look, that Rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" Dean explained.
"Get stuffed!" Seamus said to Dean.
"He'll do you up a treat, mate." Dean said to Seamus.
"Oh, yeah?" Seamus exclaimed.
"You Mangy Scots git!" Neville shouted.
"I'm warning you!" Dean said to Neville.
"What's he do, nibble your bum?" Neville asked.
"He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!" Dean gestured towards the cave.
"Go on, Lee. Chop his head off!" Harry ordered.
Lee Jordan leapt out from behind the other Knights and climbed over the ridge. "Right! Silly little bleeder. One Rat stew comin' right up!" He started towards the cave, while Dean yelled out,
"Look!"
Lee got almost to the Rat, when, with a squeak, it leapt into the air, and ripped Lee's head off.
"Jesus Christ!" Harry swore.
"I warned you!" Dean cried.
"I've done it again!" Neville said.
"I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little rat, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--..." Dean was saying.
"Oh, shut up!" Harry said to Dean.
"Do they listen to me?" Dean asked no one in particular.
"Right!" Harry yelled.
"Oh, no." Dean muttered.
"Charge!" The Knights yelled as they clambered over the ridge and advanced towards the Rat...
The Rat fights back admirably, killing two more of the Knights, and finally Harry is smart enough to yell,
"Run away! Run away!" The Knights echo him as they run back to Dean behind the ridge. Once behind the ridge, Harry asks,
"Right, how many did we lose?"
"Fred." Ronsalot answers.
"George." Seamus continues.
"And Lee, that's five." Harry concludes.
"Three, Sir." Seamus corrected him.
"Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That Rat's dynamite." Harry said.
"Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?" Neville asked.
"Oh, shut up and go and change your armor." Harry scolded him.
"Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake." Seamus suggested.
"Like what?" Harry asked him.
"Well... ooh." Seamus realized.
"Have we got bows?" Ronsalot asked Harry.
"No." Harry answered, almost sadly.
"We have the Holy Hand Grenade." Ronsalot realized.
"Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Gryffindor! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Flitwick carries with him! Brother Flitwick! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!"
The monks from the village scene with Sir Hermione's entrance start their chant again. "Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem." Two brothers, one very short and one very tall, whose hood is pulled up so we can't see his face, walk up. The tall one has a book under his arm. The short one had a huge box in his arms, which he handed to Ronsalot. The short brother opened the box, revealing the Holy Hand Grenade. Ronsalot then turned to Harry, who pulled the weapon out of the box, and examined it. It looks a little like an oversized Golden Snitch.
"How does it, um-- how does it work?" Harry asked.
"I know not, my liege." Sir Ronsalot admitted.
"Consult the Book of Armaments!" Harry cried.
Brother Flitwick said to the taller monk, "Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one."
Fred and George, until now hidden as monks in the back, now pulled down the hood covering the taller brother's face. It turned out to be none other than Professor Severus Snape! A dramatic chord sounded, almost, but not quite drowning out the laughter from the audience, and the assembled Knights, who didn't know whom the tall monk was! With a sneer, Snape started saying his lines.
"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--..."
"Skip a bit, Brother." Brother Flitwick said.
"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'"
"Amen." Brother Flitwick intoned. The Knights echoed him.
"Right! One!... Two!... Five!" Harry counted.
"Three, Sir!" Seamus corrected him.
"Three!" Harry amended his line, and threw the Hand Grenade. To the sound of angels singing, the Hand Grenade flew through the air, landed, bounced, and hit the Rat with a loud boom. As the Knights went forward to check out the damage, Ron picks up the corpse of the rat, and exclaimed,
"Hey! This was Scabbers!" In the background, identical twin snickering could be heard. "Right! I'll do you for that!" He calls back to his brothers off stage, just as the lights go out. While the scene was being changed, Fred, or George, dunno which, yells quite audibly,
"You'll what?"
Ron shouts, "You heard me! You killed my rat!"
"No we didn't!" George shouts. "He's right here!"
"Besides, he was Percy's rat!" Fred adds.
"I don't care! Give 'im here!" Ron shouts.
"No he wasn't! Shh! Quit lying!" Percy says.
"Come and get him!" The same twin cries, apparently trying to keep away from Ron. There were the sounds of a scuffle, then,
"Knock it off you three!" Percy shouted. "You are ruining the play!" More scuffling, and Percy lets out a pained cry. "Hey, that's my nose!"
"Well, then get outta the way!" Ron shouts. "You're in front of Fred!"
"How do you know?" Fred asks, from behind Percy, only the audience doesn't know it. "It's too dark to see!"
"Lumos!" Ron yells, lighting his wand, then shouts, "Now it isn't!" In the faint light, the audience could see more scuffling, this time between Ron, Fred, George, and Percy. But, just as Bill and Charlie come in, Ron drops his wand, and the light goes back out.
"Bloody hell!" Ron yells.
"Hey! Stop it!" Charlie shouts to his brothers.
"I'm the oldest! I'll give the orders!" Bill shouts, trying to gain control of the situation. "Now knock it off!"
"Got another hand grenade?" Charlie shouts to Flitwick. Flitwick is trying his hardest to ignore the whole incident.
"Where's my Rat!" Ron shouts. "Where's Scabbers?"
Just then, Professor McGonagall turns on the lights, and the 6 brothers are revealed on the stage, all in torn robes and sporting various cuts, bruises and scrapes. Harry, Hermione, and Lee are sitting in the background, killing themselves laughing. Professor McGonagall Summons Scabbers to her hand, and says,
"Clear out now, all of you! We'll discuss this later. Now, get ready for your next scenes, and leave each other alone." The lights go back down, and as the next scene is prepared, Oliver comes out into a spotlight, and says to the crowd,
"By the way, that was a continuation of the Weasley Scene, otherwise known as The Tale of Sir Ronsalot." He peers over his shoulder into the blackness behind him. "I don't think it's over yet." He waits a few moments, hands clasped behind his back, whistling the "Brave Sir Neville" Song, every so often checking behind his back. Finally he says, "Right. I think that's done with, so, back to our regularly scheduled programming." He leaves the stage. The spotlight goes out.
"They're nervous, Sire." Seamus said about the 'horses'.
"Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot. Dis-mount!" Harry said. The Knights acted out the motions of dismounting from a horse, completely ignoring the fact that they never were riding horses to start with. Then they made their way down to a little ridge in front of the Cave.
"Behold the cave of Caerbannog!" Dean announced with a flourish.
"Right! Keep me covered." Harry said as he started to climb over the little ridge to get to the Cave.
"What with?" Seamus asked.
"W-- just keep me covered." Harry was going to continue on to the cave, when,
"Too late!" Dean cried. A dramatic chord sounded.
"What?" Harry asked, pausing.
"There he is!" Dean shouted.
"Where?" Harry asked, looking around.
"There!" Dean pointed to the cave. A Rat was waddling out of the cave.
"What, behind the Rat?" Harry asked.
"It is the Rat."
Harry whacked Dean on the side of the head. "You silly sod!"
"What?" Dean asked.
"You got us all worked up!"
Dean pointed towards the cave. "Well, that's no ordinary Rat!"
"Ohh."
"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!" Dean said enthusiastically.
"You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!" Sir Neville exclaimed.
"Look, that Rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" Dean explained.
"Get stuffed!" Seamus said to Dean.
"He'll do you up a treat, mate." Dean said to Seamus.
"Oh, yeah?" Seamus exclaimed.
"You Mangy Scots git!" Neville shouted.
"I'm warning you!" Dean said to Neville.
"What's he do, nibble your bum?" Neville asked.
"He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!" Dean gestured towards the cave.
"Go on, Lee. Chop his head off!" Harry ordered.
Lee Jordan leapt out from behind the other Knights and climbed over the ridge. "Right! Silly little bleeder. One Rat stew comin' right up!" He started towards the cave, while Dean yelled out,
"Look!"
Lee got almost to the Rat, when, with a squeak, it leapt into the air, and ripped Lee's head off.
"Jesus Christ!" Harry swore.
"I warned you!" Dean cried.
"I've done it again!" Neville said.
"I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little rat, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--..." Dean was saying.
"Oh, shut up!" Harry said to Dean.
"Do they listen to me?" Dean asked no one in particular.
"Right!" Harry yelled.
"Oh, no." Dean muttered.
"Charge!" The Knights yelled as they clambered over the ridge and advanced towards the Rat...
The Rat fights back admirably, killing two more of the Knights, and finally Harry is smart enough to yell,
"Run away! Run away!" The Knights echo him as they run back to Dean behind the ridge. Once behind the ridge, Harry asks,
"Right, how many did we lose?"
"Fred." Ronsalot answers.
"George." Seamus continues.
"And Lee, that's five." Harry concludes.
"Three, Sir." Seamus corrected him.
"Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That Rat's dynamite." Harry said.
"Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?" Neville asked.
"Oh, shut up and go and change your armor." Harry scolded him.
"Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake." Seamus suggested.
"Like what?" Harry asked him.
"Well... ooh." Seamus realized.
"Have we got bows?" Ronsalot asked Harry.
"No." Harry answered, almost sadly.
"We have the Holy Hand Grenade." Ronsalot realized.
"Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Gryffindor! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Flitwick carries with him! Brother Flitwick! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!"
The monks from the village scene with Sir Hermione's entrance start their chant again. "Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem." Two brothers, one very short and one very tall, whose hood is pulled up so we can't see his face, walk up. The tall one has a book under his arm. The short one had a huge box in his arms, which he handed to Ronsalot. The short brother opened the box, revealing the Holy Hand Grenade. Ronsalot then turned to Harry, who pulled the weapon out of the box, and examined it. It looks a little like an oversized Golden Snitch.
"How does it, um-- how does it work?" Harry asked.
"I know not, my liege." Sir Ronsalot admitted.
"Consult the Book of Armaments!" Harry cried.
Brother Flitwick said to the taller monk, "Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one."
Fred and George, until now hidden as monks in the back, now pulled down the hood covering the taller brother's face. It turned out to be none other than Professor Severus Snape! A dramatic chord sounded, almost, but not quite drowning out the laughter from the audience, and the assembled Knights, who didn't know whom the tall monk was! With a sneer, Snape started saying his lines.
"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--..."
"Skip a bit, Brother." Brother Flitwick said.
"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'"
"Amen." Brother Flitwick intoned. The Knights echoed him.
"Right! One!... Two!... Five!" Harry counted.
"Three, Sir!" Seamus corrected him.
"Three!" Harry amended his line, and threw the Hand Grenade. To the sound of angels singing, the Hand Grenade flew through the air, landed, bounced, and hit the Rat with a loud boom. As the Knights went forward to check out the damage, Ron picks up the corpse of the rat, and exclaimed,
"Hey! This was Scabbers!" In the background, identical twin snickering could be heard. "Right! I'll do you for that!" He calls back to his brothers off stage, just as the lights go out. While the scene was being changed, Fred, or George, dunno which, yells quite audibly,
"You'll what?"
Ron shouts, "You heard me! You killed my rat!"
"No we didn't!" George shouts. "He's right here!"
"Besides, he was Percy's rat!" Fred adds.
"I don't care! Give 'im here!" Ron shouts.
"No he wasn't! Shh! Quit lying!" Percy says.
"Come and get him!" The same twin cries, apparently trying to keep away from Ron. There were the sounds of a scuffle, then,
"Knock it off you three!" Percy shouted. "You are ruining the play!" More scuffling, and Percy lets out a pained cry. "Hey, that's my nose!"
"Well, then get outta the way!" Ron shouts. "You're in front of Fred!"
"How do you know?" Fred asks, from behind Percy, only the audience doesn't know it. "It's too dark to see!"
"Lumos!" Ron yells, lighting his wand, then shouts, "Now it isn't!" In the faint light, the audience could see more scuffling, this time between Ron, Fred, George, and Percy. But, just as Bill and Charlie come in, Ron drops his wand, and the light goes back out.
"Bloody hell!" Ron yells.
"Hey! Stop it!" Charlie shouts to his brothers.
"I'm the oldest! I'll give the orders!" Bill shouts, trying to gain control of the situation. "Now knock it off!"
"Got another hand grenade?" Charlie shouts to Flitwick. Flitwick is trying his hardest to ignore the whole incident.
"Where's my Rat!" Ron shouts. "Where's Scabbers?"
Just then, Professor McGonagall turns on the lights, and the 6 brothers are revealed on the stage, all in torn robes and sporting various cuts, bruises and scrapes. Harry, Hermione, and Lee are sitting in the background, killing themselves laughing. Professor McGonagall Summons Scabbers to her hand, and says,
"Clear out now, all of you! We'll discuss this later. Now, get ready for your next scenes, and leave each other alone." The lights go back down, and as the next scene is prepared, Oliver comes out into a spotlight, and says to the crowd,
"By the way, that was a continuation of the Weasley Scene, otherwise known as The Tale of Sir Ronsalot." He peers over his shoulder into the blackness behind him. "I don't think it's over yet." He waits a few moments, hands clasped behind his back, whistling the "Brave Sir Neville" Song, every so often checking behind his back. Finally he says, "Right. I think that's done with, so, back to our regularly scheduled programming." He leaves the stage. The spotlight goes out.
