It Always Works in the Fanfics
By: Luimenel
Authors note: I am sorry if I offended any Aragorn fans out there with the greasy old man comment but it is a running argument between me and Anna so I thought I should include it.
A gazillion thanks to all of my reviewers: Minnie-chan, Pandora and Saxophoneserpent for being encouraging. You all get spirit points.
If you absolutely hate this story tell it to my muse, Charlie. It is his fault.
Oh yes, before I forget, has anyone noticed the similarity between the word fanfic and fanatic? Hmmm, interesting. Now that I am done rambling, on to the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: Fine! It isn't mine. There! Are you happy now? Because I'm not.
Sleeping, Waking Up and Skipping a Few Weeks
The rest of the night was rather uneventful. Audrey and Anna ate their Spaghettios, with forks and spoons that Audrey pulled from her backpack, and Legolas ate his travel food. After staring at the fire for a while, Audrey said, TV is much better, this is just so boring. I think I will go to bed now. Following which she walked over to her backpack and pulled out a full mattress, complete with sheets and a pillow, and also managed to pull out a backpacking pad and a sleeping bag for Anna. The two of them got comfy in their beds and Legolas set up his bedroll on the opposite side of camp.
Audrey made herself feel more at home by pulling a nightstand, a nightlight, a CD player/alarm clock and her teddy bear out of her backpack and setting them in various positions around her bed.
Legolas and Anna seemed to find sleep easily but Audrey didn't like sleeping out in the forest, it was too quiet. Without the car noise she was used to she just couldn't sleep. She tried counting elves, counting dwarves, counting orcs, reciting the alphabet backwards, and singing annoying songs that get on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. But, it was no use, she just couldn't sleep.
Finally she put her favorite CD, The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack, into the CD player and put it on track 2, Concerning Hobbits. Unfortunately Audrey had forgotten that the last time she had used her CD player was to try to drown out her sister's awful singing, so the volume was up pretty high. All right, pretty high was a bit of an understatement, the maximum volume on the CD player was 10 and it was on 9. (For all of you mentally challenged people out there, that means that it was really loud.) Now, elves have a heightened sense of hearing, are rather high-strung, and also don't sleep very deeply, so when Legolas was jarred out of his rest by the blaring of happy shirish music his first impulse was to fight and protect the girls. (how gentlemanly, *sigh*) He leaped to his feet and before the third note resonated from Audrey's CD player there were two elven arrows buried in it.
Legolas! Why did you do that? I only packed one CD player and now you killed it. Audrey yelled, a bit peeved that she couldn't listen to her music.
Legolas looked a bit flummoxed, I awoke when that sound started and was afraid it was something that meant you harm. I am sorry I killed something you were fond of.
He genuinely looked sorry, so Audrey took pity on the poor elf. It's ok, you didn't really kill it, it was never really alive, I just characterize everything I own. It's ok, really...Wait a minute! You were afraid something was going to hurt me and so you were trying to protect me?
Legolas nodded and said, There are many evil things in this forest that would easily make a meal of you.
That is so nice! I knew you were the best guy in the fellowship! Audrey ran over to Anna who was mumbling in her sleep. Anna! Anna! Wake up! You have to finish your essay!
To this Anna jumped up to get started but then remembered where she was, Oh yeah *yawn* we're still in Middle Earth. Why did you wake me up at- she looked over at Audrey's CD player, -whatever time it is? And why isn't your CD player clock working?
Audrey was jumping up and down, I was right.
Anna looked at Audrey, About what?
I was right that Legolas is the best guy in the fellowship.
Why, exactly?
Because when I turned on my music really loud he thought something was going to hurt me and he shot my CD player. Let's see Aragorn do that! That is why my CD player clock isn't working. Audrey said as if this proved everything beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Anna just stared and then said, You're wrong.
This resulted in one of their very favorite arguments in which they both defended their favorite characters. Audrey even pulled out two copies of the trilogy for them to find quotes in. (My english teacher would be so proud, always defend things with quotes.) Legolas just watched in disbelief as one would say something requiring the other to find a quote that proved them wrong and then make their own statement. He was also awfully confused about things that they mentioned him doing that he hadn't even done yet. Oh well, he thought and went back to bed.
Around three o'clock Audrey and Anna were getting pretty tired so they decided that they would call a truce and go to sleep. Audrey was now finally tired enough that she could sleep without the aid of happy shirish music and Anna passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow.
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Legolas woke up around seven, when the sun came up and the birds started singing. Audrey and Anna were still snoozing away. He made breakfast for himself, then started packing his things onto his horse. He was just about to ask if Audrey and Anna could help him carry things when he realized they were still asleep.
Legolas walked over to Audrey and bent down next to her, If you wish to travel with me any farther, I suggest you get up, now.
Audrey opened one eye and mumbled, What time is it?
The sun has been up for nearly an hour.
Audrey groaned, Too early for decent people to be conscious.
Legolas looked annoyed, then thoughtful, I will make you walk behind me instead of riding... He let the threat hang.
Audrey was torn between her duties as a rabid fangirl and an obnoxious teenager who hated to wake up in the morning above all else.
Legolas noted the conflict on her face, Of course, if you don't want to ride with me, I suppose you could ride the bike and Anna could ride with me.
That decided her. She almost knocked Legolas over as she jumped out of bed and proceeded to pack everything back into her backpack, while munching on a blueberry muffin she had pulled out of one of her backpack's pockets.
After she had packed her bed, the nightstand, the nightlight, the dead CD player,(complete with elvish arrows) and her teddy bear into the backpack Audrey went over to start packing the stuff she had loaned to Anna. Unfortunately, Anna didn't seem to be quite done with it yet.
Anna you are going to have to get up, unless you want me to pack you in my backpack. Anna just continued to snore, Anna! Wake up or you won't be able to jump in a freezing cold pool before trudging off to class!
Anna jumped out of bed, Would you stop doing that please?
Audrey smirked, But it's just so easy.
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Once camp was sufficiently broken down Audrey sat down on a log and Anna sat next to her.
I can't believe it's another three weeks of this. muttered Anna.
Audrey looked thoughtful then snapped her fingers and said, I've got it! She ran over to her backpack and began rummaging.
Anna walked over to her friend, Audrey, what are you doing?
Audrey looked up from her rummaging, We want to skip ahead in time right?
Anna shrugged, I guess so.
Audrey stood up, holding something in her hand, And that is where this comes in.
Anna looked at the thing Audrey was holding. It looked like a squiggly line and a little star repeating in a string. What is that?
Audrey looked pleased with herself, With an author's license this can be used to skip over the boring repetitive areas of a story and get right to the good parts.
said Anna, That author's license certainly comes in handy. So how do you use that thing?
You just put it after whatever you want to be the last thing that happens before you skip ahead.
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Lord Elrond was not happy. Legolas, the representative of the elves in Mirkwood, had not even shown up. Elrond worried that he had been waylaid on the road. And if that wasn't bad enough, the council was going disastrously, dwarves bickering with elves, elves bickering with humans. No one was listening to him! He had known that there would be animosity between races in his council but he had not thought it would be anything like this. First, that upstart Borimir had kept going on about how the ring was a gift to the foes of Mordor and how they should use the ring. Yes, Borimir, Elrond had wanted to say, and I bet Sauron will promote you to head slave for that. Aragorn, thankfully, had stepped in to try and knock some sense into that thick Gondorian skull of Borimir's but Borimir apparently didn't know who was addressing him. He had asked Aragorn, And what would a Ranger know of this matter? Everyone had sat still for an awfully long time waiting for someone to say something, but nothing happened. Finally Aragorn just mumbled something and sat down, looking embarrassed.
Lord Elrond massaged his temples. It was going to be a very long day. Finally that little hobbit (Was it Frodo?) had stood up and offered his services to take the ring. However skeptical he was about the abilities of the halfling, Lord Elrond would have done anything to end that wretched council. Of course then everyone had volunteered to go with the hobbit to make sure he didn't screw anything up. Aragorn had said some noble junk about doing anything to protect Frodo, then offered his sword. Again, no one said anything for an awfully long time. Finally, the dwarf got up and, haltingly, offered his axe, then that obnoxious man from Gondor had said he would go, too. Then all of those other hobbits said they were going as well.
Nine, I mean, eight companions. So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring Elrond said when one of his pages tapped him on the shoulder.
Sir, there are some people here to see you. They say it is important.
Very well, Elrond groaned, he had been looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the day, Show them to my study, I will deal with them there.
As the page scurried off, Elrond began to walk to his chambers and grumbled under his breath, I hate Mondays.
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Ooooh! Look! there's a really hot one! Hello Elfie! Audrey was in absolute fangirl heaven, also known as Rivendell.
Audrey could you try to be a little more conspicuous? Anna, Audrey's best friend said sarcastically.
Audrey, of course, took this the wrong way, Hello all of you hot elf guys out there, At this Anna tried to clamp a hand over Audrey's mouth but Audrey continued, just the same. Mnph! My name is Audrey and I am single, just FYI.
Legolas, the stunningly handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, majestic (Charlie: I think they get the point) Prince of Mirkwood, was trying his best to look like he had no association whatsoever with the squabbling adolescents walking beside him. He had put up with them for nearly three weeks now and it was starting to show in the twitch at the corner of his eye.
Finally, the page showed them to the chamber, in which they were to wait.
said Audrey, It is soooo cool here!
Enter a very tired, irritated elf lord who was really not in the mood to deal with rabid fangirls at the moment. Legolas, realizing that Audrey was going to be a problem, clamped a hand over Audrey's mouth and held her at his side, trying to smile and look as if nothing was wrong.
Elrond said, We had thought you were taken by something foul on your way here.
said Legolas gesturing at the two girls with his free hand, In a manner of speaking, I was.
Audrey ducked out of Legolas' grasp and glared at him, I resent that. Anna had moved over to her friend and dragged her over to one of the chairs where she could sit, out of the way and not hurt anything.
Elrond stared at the two girls for a moment with curiosity, then continued, I fear you have missed a rather important meeting, Legolas. Elrond proceeded to summarize the council without too much personal commentary. And so, Legolas, the fellowship has been chosen but it would be best if you accompany it as a representative of our people. Then in Sindarin, and to keep those bloody mortals from mucking it up.
Wait a minute. piped up Audrey, tired of sitting still, You have to take me. Anna glared, Oh yeah, her too.
Or daen nin.(1) Elrond muttered.
For your information, I know what that means, I speak some Sindarin.
Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, raised one eyebrow at the human girl and asked, My dear, why in Eru's name should we let you go along?
Anna stood up and, because she hasn't done very much in this chapter, said, Because it always works in the fanfics.
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1. Over my dead body
Well tada that's chapter two! It wasn't as long as chapter one, but well, I am tired and have homework to do. I hope there are people out there that are reading this. I also hope they are enjoying it. Then I hope that after they enjoy it they will tell me they did in the form of a review. You can just say good story. Really, just prove to me that I do have an audience. It would mean a lot to me.
