2:03 AM 7/12/02
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -from "Garfield"
Jon: It's the crown prince of laziness!
Jon: ALL HAIL HIS HIGHNESS, PRINCE FAT SLOB!
Garfield: Off with his mouth!

Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hi, hello, and welcome to part 3. I'm Chuquita and with me is Plushie, who, due to Pookee's hogging the show not to
mention the fact that Veggie scared the pants off him in a previous chapter, is NOW finally ready to talk with us.
Plushie: (waves) Hai.
Chuquita: So, Plushie, you're Son-san's "teddy bear", per say. What's that like?
Plushie: Pleasant, yet painful, Chu.
Chuquita: Come again?
Plushie: It is pleasant because my Toussan really knows how to spoil his toys and painful because sometimes if he's running
down the stairs and has you by the tip of a limb your body repeatedly smacks against the walls because of the way his arms
flail sometimes.
Goku: (grins) I LUV MY PLUSHIE!
Plushie: (giggles) Heehee.
Chuquita: So, why do you call Son-San your "Daddy"? You do that a lot.
Plushie: Well, that's pretty much the kind of relationship we have with each other. I mean, I'm treated just like Gohan and
Goten..with the exception that I don't eat, poop, breathe, and am filled with a soft cotton-like substitute.
Goku: Plushie's my little baby!
Plushie: Which apparently doesn't seem so with Mr. Veggie and his toys.
Pookee: (slightly offended) HEY! I'm a friend! It's a friendship! I've never been abused in anyway--Kaka-chan on the other
hand, well heck just look at him!
Vegeta: (busy baby-talking to the big stuffed life-sized Son Goku plush)
Pookee: (glares at Kaka-chan) (growls) OOH! Look how he eats that up! Well you just wait till he DOES get the real one buddy
boy! Mr. Temporary favorite. Teddy bears are forever you know! [folds his paws]
Chuquita: ... (sweatdrops) Riiiiiight. Anyway, getting back to Plushie. I asked Pookee this last chapter. What is the deepest
darkest most embarassing secret you know about your owner.
Plushie: When he pwoops.
Pookee: "Pwoops"?!
Plushie: Yeah, you know, when he lifts up your little plush shirt and puffs up his cheeks fulla air and then blows on your
belly with his mouth. It tickles like crazy!
Chuquita: Pwoops...(blinks) (to Son) Really?
Pookee: (pouts) V-sama's never pwooped me.
Goku: Veggie probably doesn't know what it is. [glances over at Veggie] Say Veggie can you put that, err, big stuffed plush
me down for a moment so I can show you something.
Vegeta: [sits Kaka-chan down on the table] (narrows his eyes) Well, alright--BUT IT BETTER be QUICK!
Goku: (grins) Aww, it will little Veggie. [grabs Veggie's blue tank] Heeheehee!
Vegeta: (cocks an eyebrow) What the heck are you do--
Goku: *PWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!* [pulls away] (Veggie's stomach is now glowing bright red) Veggie's
tummy tastes like chicken! Hee-hee!
Chuquita: Vedge? [waves hand infront of his glowing red, stunned face] Yeesh. He's out cold this time.
Goku: (giggles) With Veggie I guess it would be more like out "hot". HAHAHAHAHA!
Pookee: [taps Veggie slightly, causing the stiff saiyajin to fall down on his side, chair and all] AHH!! YOU KILLED HIM!!!
Goku: NAH! Little Veggie is still alive. I just dazzled him a little too much for comfort.
Chuquita: Ha! No kidding. Hey Son, you know what I got a kick out of?
Goku: NooooooooooooooOOOOOOOooooOOooo?
Chuquita: ...
Goku: (big happy grin)
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Well, remember way back when I was writing those episode parodies and Sholio sent me downloads of eps
273 & 274 to help me?
Goku: (nods) Yup!
Chuquita: (grins) I think yesterday I had stumbled upon the very site that person got them from! It's called
"Dragonball Arena" and it had nearly ALL the Buu episodes that hadn't been aired yet (in Japanese; some subbed) AND the whole
GT thing in Italian and a chunk in Japanese. I think that's why when Sho tried to send it to me at first in a zip it wouldn't
open because when I downloaded an ep from the source I needed a password.
Goku: Good for Chu!
Chuquita: Aaaaand I got to watch all of episodes 275 & 276! I almost wish I had seen 275 before I added that parody to the
story. There was this one moment that was absolutely priceless. (giggles) It was right after you and Veggie had found the
cocoons the others were trapped in and first attempted to find a way to blast through. You complained because Veggie broke
his potara and you couldn't fuse again. Well he yells something at you, folds his arms and turns away in Veggie-fashion when
you suddenly get this big 'ol Son-grin on your face and float around Veggie in a circle (he's pointing out somewhere and Son
makes it like Veggie's pointing at him) and all the while you're giggling this freakishly cute "heeheeheehee" sing-song laugh
I had no idea you really giggled like I have you giggle in the stories. Only in my stories there wasn't so much of a musical
melody-like thing to your hee-hee's.
Goku: I do like to hee!
Chuquita: I also saw what happens after the cheek-to-cheek ki blast and Veggie did linger there grumbling something to you
looking disgusted and embarassed at the same time. You grin--he looks even more disgusted--you seperate, and later on Veggie
is actually, get this, rubbing the kako-cooties off his cheek, the one your cheek pressed against. And you hold your hand out
from the backround like you want to high-five him and Veggie just plain 'ol freaks out. I can't WAIT to see this in English
so I know what you're saying!
Goku: (sigh) Yes, but the English me cannot fully capture my heeheehee song to its full potential annoying cuteness.
Chuquita: So true...ON TO PART 3!
Goku: HOORAY!

Summary: Goku and Chi-Chi find out by TV that the man who performed their wedding ceremony is a fraud and has been just sent
to jail, making their marriage illegal. Now the couple have to find a way to get re-married before the others find out,
namely Vegeta. What happens when Chi-Chi can no longer defend her claim to Son-kun llegally? Will Veggie convince Son to
not get married at all? And what about Gohan and Goten? Are they now illegit??? A G/CC fic.
*****************************************************************************************************************************

" No. "
" Please? "
" NO! "
" Please!! "
" I SAID NO!!! "
" But Veggie you look so cute! " Goku pouted as the duo stood in the dressing room. Another 2 hours had passed and
the gang was still unconsious outside the dressing room door. Vegeta had tried on nearly all of the outfits and even had been
pleased with some of them, unfortunately the one he had on now the ouji found completely revolting.
" I am NOT going to wear this one! " Vegeta folded his arms.
" But why? "
The ouji blinked, " Well, for one thing, it's too--too--, too FOOFY! " he shook his hands in a sickened fashion.
" Foofy? " Goku cocked an eyebrow.
" Hai, "foofy". You know, all soft and puffy and pink and covered in little sparkles--foofy! " Vegeta sputtered,
trying to explain his new word.
" But I think foofy's a good thing. " the larger saiyajin smiled, " I mean, look how EASY it makes hugging you! "
Goku said, doing so. The ouji's face glowed bright red, " And soft is good cuz it just makes me wanna hug you longer and
puffy is comfortable and besides you look so cute in pink and the sparkles bring out your eyes! " the saiyajin grinned,
squeezing tighter. Vegeta froze, still glowing.
" Well, I--uh, I guess if YOU really think I look--WAITAMINUTE!! " he screamed, interupting himself. Vegeta pushed
himself out of the hug and landed on the ground, " You think just because of the way you can cloud my mind with your little
kako-germs that you can just use that to your advantage into getting me to choose which outfit YOU want to see me wear!!! "
he yelled.
Goku looked down at the floor, ashamed, " Yes Veggie, I'm sorry. "
" I don't blame you Kakarrotto, I would do the exact same thing to you if possible. " Vegeta nodded.
Goku sweatdropped.
" ... "
" ... "
" So, you really like this particular costume on me, eh, Kakarrotto? " Vegeta said, smirking. His back facing Goku.
" I--I am really sorry little Veggie. It's just that I've never gotten to dress up anyone before and it was so much
fun you being my little buddy and all... " Goku trailed off.
" Kakarrotto, do you like this outfit on me the BEST? "
" Yup! Little Veggie looks real cute! " he chirped happily.
" Do I look beautiful? " an evil smile crossed Vegeta's face.
" Well, sure you do Veggie. " Goku said uneasily.
" Do I look even more beautiful than "Chi-chan"? "
" Uhhh... " Goku blinked in shock, " Umm, Veggie I really can't say-- "
Vegeta snickered to himself, then quickly silenced his laughter before Goku could hear it, " It's alright, Kakay. No
one is going to hurt you if you think me in my little costume is more beautiful to your little kaka-eyes than the EVIL ONE
is. To tell you the truth I'd be quite flattered. " he smiled, a hint of red glow above his nose.
Goku laughed nervously, " Well...Veggie DOES look nice and-- "
" YOU DO LIKE ME THE BEST!! " Vegeta spun around to face him, grinning. He latched onto the bigger saiyajin, " Oh
Kakay I knew it all along! This means I WIN!!! " he cheered.
" Win, win what? " Goku looked down at Vegeta, confused.
" Uhh, nothing. " Vegeta quickly replied, then, realizing where he was, shrieked and got out of the embrace, wildly
brushing himself off, " Eew eew eew eew eew!!!! Kaka-germs, infesting body, yuck! " Vegeta shivered.
" Hee! " Goku grinned, " Little Veggie gives the best hugs! "
The ouji glowed bright red, but the glow was still dim enough for him to be able to still control his ability to
speak, " Yes, thank you Kaka-chan. That was very sweet of you--not to mention completely true. " he said, beaming with pride,
" And you know what else little Veggie is going to give his Kaka-chan? "
" No Veggie, he doesn't? " Goku giggled, playing along.
" Veggie has decided that if Kakay likes this foofy flower girl costume on his ouji then his ouji will wear it JUST
FOR KAKAY. " Vegeta grinned, stressing the last three words. Goku's eyes widened until they filled half of his head. He now
had a small smile on his face.
" I....I...I.... "
" Hai Kakarrotto? " Vegeta smirked.
" I LOVE YOU VEGGIE!!! " Goku squealed at the top of his lungs.


Chi-Chi stared at the dressing room door from outside, her jaw hanging open. Her head rolled back and she fainted
again.


" ... "
" Veggie? Veggie? " Goku waved his arm infront of Vegeta's face, recieving no response. The ouji was now glowing like
mad and stiff as a board.
" ... "
" Little Veggie? "
" The number you have dialed has been disconnected, please dial your operator and try again. " a voice from around
them said with a bland tone.
" Uh-oh. That's not good. " Goku gulped, " Veggie are you alright? How did you make that recorded phone message come
out of your body? "
" Yes. " the ouji responded, still entranced.
" Yes??? " Goku scratched his head.
" YES!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!! "


" Yes I'd like this one please! " Vegeta grinned as he plopped the outfit on the desk. The saleswoman looked at him,
shocked.
" Wow, you actually found one you, err, liked, huh? " she cocked her head.
" Well this costume, for some odd unknown reason, happened to please Kakarrotto-chan the most, so, I being the KIND,
GENEROUS prince that I am decided upon it for said purpose. " Vegeta boasted, glancing down at his white glove. The ouji was
once again in his regular training outfit.
" Veggie is a silly mixed-up person! " Goku said cheerfully, standing beside the ouji. Vegeta glanced over at him.
" Say, Kakay, how would you like to go-- " Vegeta whispered the rest of his sentence into the other saiyajin's ear,
then pointed to the window display of flowers Goku had taken a bite of earlier. Goku grinned widely and nodded in response.
He dashed over to the display and grabbed the flowers, " Aww. " the ouji awwed at him.
" Your change. "
" Hn? " Vegeta blinked, returning back to reality.
" Your change, sir. " the saleswoman said, holding out Vegeta's now bagged costume and 35 cents.
" Oh. Uh, thanks. " Vegeta took the money and shoved it in his pocket, " Come Kakarrotto-chan! We've got to get back
to my house--I have something very special to show you. " he said sneakily.
" A present for me? " Goku grinned excitedly.
" ...uh, yeah, a present JUST FOR YOU--from ME. "
Goku threw both arms up in the air, " YAY! "


" Chi-chan? Chi-chan wake up? " Goku prodded her.
" Eh? " Chi-Chi opened her eyes, her vision slightly blurry from fainting twice in the past couple hours, " AHH! MY
GO-CHAN!! WHERE'S MY GO-- " she sat up straight and alart, only to find Goku inches away from her. He grinned stupidly,
" --ku. " Chi-Chi said flatly.
" HERE I AM! " Goku waved his arm in a sing-song voice.
" Goku how did I get back in the car? " Chi-Chi looked around to see she was now once again in the driver's seat. The
packages containing her and Goku's outfits plopped on the passanger's seat.
" Oh. I carried you. " he replyed.
" Aww, that's sweet of you. " she blushed lightly, " What about the others? "
" Hospital. " Goku said bluntly, then held his hands up, " But don't worry, they're all oh-kay and only suffered
"slight mental trama". " he quoted the doctor who drove the rest of the Z gang off in an ambulance.
Chi-Chi looked around, " And where's THE OUJI? " she narrowed her eyes.
" Here I am! " a cheerful voice said from behind her. Chi-Chi looked over her shoulder to see Vegeta smiling
contently at her. His own bag at his feet.
" Yes, there you be. " she replied dryly, then snapped at Goku in a whisper, " WHY IS HE SO HAPPY! "
" Huh? "
" Why is he so happy all of a sudden! Vegeta's EVIL! The only time he's happy is when he's WINNING! PLEASE don't tell
me he's WINNING! " Chi-Chi begged him.
" You know I really gotta find out what all this "winning" stuff is about. " Goku said, confused, " It's like there's
some kind of mystery prize I don't know about....are you two on a treasure hunt or something? "
" Yes Goku, a treasure hunt. " Chi-Chi said with utter sarcasm, " YOU! YOU STOOGE! WE'RE FIGHTING OVER YOU!!! "
" Awwwwwwww, silly Chi-chan you know there's plenty of me to go around to everyone! " Goku giggled at her.
" ...oh-kay, that's not what I meant, see, and--HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!!! " she exclaimed as Goku walked around to
the backseat door.
" I'm going to sit down. What does it look like? " Goku said innocently.
" In the back--with the OUJI! " Chi-Chi pointed to Vegeta, who grinned the biggest evil grin she had ever seen on his
face.
" Well the packages are up there. I can't sit on them now can I? " Goku chuckled, " Besides, I sat up front with you
on the way HERE so it's only fair to my little Veggie to sit with him on the way back. Right? "
" Errrrrrrr....alright. But I'm WATCHING YOU, Ouji! " Chi-Chi threatened Vegeta from the reflection of the backseat
in the mirror, " Goku IS right. It is fair--BUT THAT'S ALL IT'S GOING TO BE! GOT IT!!! " she snarled at him.
" Why Onna I have NO IDEA as to WHAT you are talking about? " Vegeta said, trying his best to act innocent.
" OOOOOOHH!!! " Chi-Chi turned back to the wheel and gritted her teeth, " How I HATE HIM!!! "
" Alright little Veggie. Time to buckle up! " Goku said cheerfully as he seat-belted the ouji in, " There we go,
there's the diagonal one and here goes the one around Veggie's little Veggie lap! "
" STOP!! "
" Huh? " Goku blinked, turning towards Chi-Chi.
" He can belt himself in, Goku. The Ouji's not dum. " she said in distaste.
" Aww no Kakay, you do it. You're more used to this car I'd feel much safer if you would belt me in. " Vegeta put a
fake-pouty expression on his face.
" *Clip!* There we go! " Goku grinned. Chi-Chi cringed, avoiding eye-contact with anything in the backseat. Goku slid
back towards his side of the backseat and reached for his own seatbelt.
" Say Kakay, you did such a nice thing belting me in how about if I seatbelt you in as a thank you? " Vegeta smiled.
" Aww, Veggie that's sweet of you but I'm all the way over here and you're already belted in so you would have to
stretch pretty far to reach me. "
" That's alright, I like a challenge. " Vegeta reached over to grab the seatbelt, only to have something shoved in
his face.
Chi-Chi growled angrily at him, holding the object before him.
" Honestly, Onna. A gun between the eyes? How crude. " Vegeta zapped the object aimed at his face into dust. Chi-Chi
frowned at the loss, then glared at Vegeta.
" I swear if _I_ were able to become a "super saiyajin" I would kick your tush so far across the globe they'd have to
send it back to you in a dozen microscopic little pieces!!! " she shook her fist at him.
" You, a super saiyajin. HA! " Vegeta mocked her as she started up the car, " Kakarrotto-chan and I are the only two
saiyajins left in existance. Right Kakay? " he said sweetly, leaning against Goku's shoulder. The larger saiyajin giggled.
" Hmm.. " Chi-Chi thought as they drove off. She smirked, " You know Ouji, I've been meaning to ask you. With all
this time that's past since we've known you, how come you've never tried to use the dragonballs to wish your planet back? "
" Huh? " Vegeta blinked, caught offguard.
" I mean, you're so proud to be a saiyajin and so proud of the saiyajin species/race/whatever; and the fact that you
are the PLANET'S prince--wouldn't you think that you would want to wish it back along with your family and your people and
all? "
" Uhhhhh, of, of course I do. Nuh--not just yet. " he pulled back from leaning against Goku and folded his arms.
" Because as of lately I've been getting this inkling that there's a reason you're not that interested in reviving
your homeplanet. " Chi-Chi said casually.
" Are you accusing me of something? " Vegeta narrowed his eyes.
" Oh, no. No. It's just that perhaps you haven't wished the other saiyajins back because you feel it would break off
that "special bonding relationship" you share with my Go-chan. I'm sure having ONE PEASANT to rule over must make that ONE
PEASANT feel VERY IMPORTANT in your eyes. " she smirked.
" Don't go there. " Vegeta warned in a deadly tone.
" And I'm sure being royalty must be a tough job. I mean, heck I'm royalty. My father and I ruled over several
villages at one time--but an entire planet--the responsiblity must be ENOURMOUS. You probably wouldn't be able to off into
the universe on exotic vacations the way you would with just one other saiyajin to take care of. "
" We ARE going to go off on those exotic intergalactic vacations--once your lifespan runs out and I build a beautiful
satellite powerful enough to go flying through the stars in. " Vegeta snuffed.
" Who's "we"? What are you talking about? I am so confused! " Goku whined, hanging his head.
" Aww, it's alright Kakay, here, have a lollipop. " Vegeta held up the candy.
" WHEE! " Goku whooped, then stuck the candy in his mouth, " MMmmm, woffipoph! " he sighed in bliss, " Ank u
Veh-gee! " he said, the lollipop still wedged in his mouth.
" You're welcome, sweetie. " Vegeta patted the content saiyajin on the head.
Chi-Chi growled angrily as they drove off, " OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....evil little-- "


" We're back! Finally. " Chi-Chi said with relief as she parked the car on the street infront of Capsule Corp. The
last 40 minutes had been pure terror for her; having to keep an eye on the road nearly blinded Chi-Chi to everything that was
going on in the backseat where the two saiyajins were sitting. Both had been unusually quiet, un-nerving her, " Go-chan? Did
you hear me? I said we're ho--AHH! " she shrieked.
" Hi Chi-chan!! " Goku waved at her, a ring of flowers around his neck that trailed off towards what looked like a
leash. The opposite end held by none other than the ouji himself. Vegeta grinned and pointed to his own ring of flowers which
sat around his noggin just above the wide part of his widow's peak.
" Yes, hello "Chi-chan". " Vegeta snickered.
Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes at him, " Ouji, you never cease to amaze me. " she said flatly, getting out of the car door
and opening the door on Vegeta's side, " We've reached your home, now GET OUT! " Chi-Chi pointed in the direction of the
building.
" Like my little Kaka-leash? " Vegeta tugged on the trail of flowers that ended in the ring of them around the larger
saiyajin's neck.
" OOOOH!! GIVE ME THAT!! " Chi-Chi reached out to grab it, only to have Vegeta yank it away just in time, sending
Goku flying out of the backseat and onto the front lawn.
" Oww. "
" I'm sorry, does this nice little Kaka-creature look like he belongs to you? Of course he doesn't! " Vegeta boasted
while Goku stood up, brushing the grass and dirt off his gi.
" ... " Chi-Chi rolled her eyes, then held her hands out towards Goku, " WILL YOU STAND UP TO HIM ALREADY!!! TELL
THAT OUJI OFF! HE DOESN'T OWN YOU!!! "
" Uhhhh, I-- " Goku blinked, " actually, Veggie DOES sorta rule over me at this point. " he said sadly, embarassed.
" WHAT!! " Chi-Chi gawked.
" Well Chi-chan, I, well what I mean is at your present relationship to me you pretty much have as good a chance at
defending me being in your custody as Bulma or Kuririn does. " Goku shrugged, " Veggie on the other hand...well if you were
to sue him right now--he would probably win. "
" Heeheehee! " Vegeta giggled wildly, then tugged hard on Goku's flower-leash, dragging him down to his height,
" Hey Kakay, who's the ruler of your little third class soul??? "
" You are Veggie. " Goku sighed, replying.
" WHEE! " Vegeta pumped his free arm in the air, " I'M KAKAY'S RULER! I'M KAKAY'S RULER!! " he did a little victory
dance.
" YOU SHUDDUP! " Chi-Chi snapped, causing the ouji to temporarily stop his victory dance in mid-air. Vegeta blinked,
confused, " JUST BECAUSE YOU HAPPEN TO BE THE SOLE LEGAL OWNER OF MY LITTLE GO-CHAN DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT WILL LAST FOREVER
YOU KNOW!!! YOU JUST WAIT ONE WEEK FROM NOW AND HALF OF HIM BELONGS TO ME!!! "
Vegeta landed on the ground, " Hmm...can I have the top half? " he grinned cheesily.
" GAH! " Chi-Chi and Goku fell to the ground, animé style, " NO YOU MAY _NOT_ HAVE THE TOP HALF!!! AND THAT IS NOT
WHAT I MEANT AT ALL!! "
" Veggie's not gonna cut me in half is he? " Goku pouted, his eyes wobbling.
" Of course I'm not, silly Kakarrotto-chan. " Vegeta grinned, patting Goku on the shoulder, " It was a figure of
speech. "
" Oh...Veggie what's that mean? "
" --AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! " a scream wailed from inside Capsule Corp. The gang turned
their attention towards it and ran to the house.
" You mean I was born OUT of wedlock?! " Gohan said in horror as he and 7 year old Goten stood before Bulma and Mirai
" You really didn't know? I thought Chi-Chi had told you already. " Bulma blinked, putting her hands on her hips.
" Buh-buh-buh-but HOW! I'VE SEEN PICTURES! Kaasan even kept her gown and we have video tapes and-- " Gohan sputtered.
" --and her and Son-kun found out the man who performed their ceremony was a fraud, making voiding the marriage. "
Bulma interupted him.
" But--that means I'M AN ILLIGITAMITE!!!!! " he wailed, falling to his knees.
" Welcome to my world. " Mirai commented dryly.
Goten tugged on his brother's pantleg, " Gohan what's an ill-legament? "
" OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! " Gohan groaned, an enormous sweatdrop on his head, " This situation cannot possibly get any
worse! "
" Lalala lalalala! " Vegeta sang happily as he came skipping through the room wearing his little flower wreath and
dragging Goku behind him on the flower leash, " Hi Bul-chan! Hi Mirai! Hi Kaka-spawned offspring! Like my new pet? " he
grinned, making his way up the stairs to his room.
" Did what just happened, really just happen? " Mirai mumbled in disbelief.
" OHhhhh, me and my big mouth! " Gohan wailed.
" YOU COME BACK HERE WITH HIM, OUJI!!! " Chi-Chi yelled, running inside after them. She looked left then right,
" WHERE IS HE!!! WHERE'D HE GO!! "
" Kaasan! " Gohan dashed infront of her, " Please tell me this isn't true! You and Toussan--not married?? "
She frowned, " I'm sorry baby but it's true. " Chi-Chi looked up, determined, " And that's why I have to go stop that
ouji before he seduces my little Go-chan into picking HIM over ME! "
Gohan looked at her oddly, " Now why would Vegeta do-- "
" ... "
" ... "
" -oh yeah, forgot about that. " he rolled his eyes.
Chi-Chi shrugged, " Ask a stupid question. " she then ran up the stairs towards Vegeta's room.


" And this would be your bed. " Vegeta pressed a big red button on the remote control in his hand causing the floor
to the left of his bed to spin underground revealing another waterbed in addition to his own. He grinned, " Pretty cool, eh?"
" WOW! LITTLE VEGGIE HAS AN EXTRA WATERBED JUST FOR ME? " Goku squealed with big sparkily eyes, then leapt at the bed
, only to have Vegeta stand in his way.
" Uhp, not for you yet! " the ouji smirked, his hands behind his back.
" Nani? " Goku cocked his head, frowning, " Come on little Veggie, Chi-chan's never bought me a waterbed of my very
own and I wanna try it out please! "
" Tsk, tsk, tsk, Kaka-chan. " Vegeta shook his finger in the air, " I said it "would" be your bed. "
" Would? "
" Yes, you know, "would"; as in if a set of certain circumstances were to occur this beautiful, luxurious, heated,
vibrating, musical waterbed would be all yours for the taking. " Vegeta smirked at him. Goku glanced past the ouji and stared
at the wobbling matress, facinated.
" What do you want for it? " the entranced saiyajin said, dead-serious.
" I want you to throw the match. " Vegeta narrowed his eyes.
" Huh? "
" The match--the wedding, BAKA! " Vegeta put his hands on his hips, slightly irritated.
" WHAT? Oh Veggie I can't do that! " Goku gasped, covering his mouth with his hands.
" Of COURSE you can, Kakarrotto. You don't have to tell anyone you're not coming! All you have to do is NOT SHOW UP!
Be a little...late. You're always late arriving at the battlefield so no one would suspect a thing if you were late to the
wedding. They'd just say, "oh that's Kakarrotto for you, late as usual". " he menacingly rubbed his hands together.
" Umm, Veggie, you're the only one who calls me "Kakarrotto". I'm Son Goku to every other single person on this
planet. " Goku corrected him.
" I know that! And that's because you're special to me! That's why I built this attachable waterbed that I keep
secretly under the floor! That's why I nearly psychopathically obsess over every little thing you do!!! That's why I write it
all down in little notebooks! That's why I have that big stuffed life-sized Kaka-doll I keep in the ceiling hatch that Onna
stole this morning!! " Vegeta exclaimed.
" You mean that funky-dressed me toy belongs to YOU? " Goku gawked at him in shock.
" ... " Vegeta blinked, realizing what he just said, " ...oh-kay, bad example. But enough about me. Let's change the
subject, oh-kay Kakarrotto? "
" Good idea Veggie. " Goku nodded, beginning to feel uncomfortable, " You were kinda starting to scare me a lil bit."
" Alright. Kakarrotto, tell me. How did you and THAT WITCH end up getting together the FIRST time? " the ouji asked.
" Uhh, which first time? There were like, 4 first times. " Goku scratched his head.
" There couldn't have been four different first time if it was the same---UGH! Just tell me what happened the day you
and the Onna got married. " Vegeta shouted.
" But...that hasn't happened yet? " he cocked his head, confused.
" ...Dende if you can hear this conversation right now I hope you're enjoying it. " Vegeta mumbled to himself, " I
mean the time you two got married and thought it was a legal one but it wasn't and now you're going to do it again in a
couple weeks and THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! "
" _THE_ first place? "
" AAUGH!!! " Vegeta sat down on his bed, holding the sides of his head in mental anguish.
" ...OH! Wait--does Veggie mean the time I met Chi-chan at the tournament? " Goku poked Vegeta in the shoulder.
" Yes, Kakarrot. The time you met "Chi-chan" at the tournament. " the ouji groaned.
" OOH! I remember THAT! " Goku happily waved his arm in the air like he was in school.
" Good for you. " Vegeta grumbled dryly.
" Let me see, oh yeah, Chi-chan had been scheduled to be in the first match with me, just like you and I did that one
time, only Chi-chan was going incogneato-- "
" _Incognito_, Kakarrot. "
" Yeah, what I said. She was incogneato under the name "anonymous desire". When we got up to the podium Chi-chan says
to me "you look as though you've never seen me before" and I laughed and said, "of course I look like I've never seen you
before and that is because I haven't".....then she punched me in the face. "
Vegeta chuckled.
" That is not funny little Veggie! Chi-chan was really mad at me. Not just regular mad either, I'm talkin
Veggie-mad! " he waved his arms in the air to illustrate.
" "Veggie-mad"? " Vegeta cocked an eyebrow.
" Yeah, really really Veggie-mad. Mad like in me accidentally blowing up your TV or somethin. " Goku shivered at the
memory, " Anyway, we fought, I punched her, she kicked me, I blasted her into the wall--I win. Then Chi-chan told me that I
had promised to marry her and I thought back for a moment like I'm doing with you right now and I felt kinda silly cuz I
thought that meant a kind of food. Then she said she was going to be my wife so I turned to Kuririn and I said, "hey Kuririn,
what is a wife?". Then everyone within hearing range fell down in shock and Chi-chan looked about ready to chop my head off
and mount it on the wall--but that didn't happen! " he grinned, pointing to his head, " And then later on after Chi-chan had
revealed her true identity I thought to myself, "Aww screw it, I never back out of my promises, no matter what they are!" so
I said yes and Chi-Chi whooped and did a little victory dance and hugged my arm so hard I lost the feeling in it for several
hours afterword! Then we had FOOOOD, wore silly costumes, that guy who was a convict but we didn't know was a convict at the
time said a few funny words that I wasn't really listening to and--POOF! Chi-chan has never left my side since. " Goku
finished, then turned to Vegeta, who's jaw was hanging wide open in shock and amazement.
" ... "
" Veggie? "
" Kakarrotto, you are a COMPLETE MORON!!! " Vegeta screamed at him, " SHE TRICKED YOU YOU IDIOT!!! " he said with
utter gull, " IF I MADE YOU PROMISE TO TIE YOUR FEET TO A BOULDER AND HURL IT OVER THE EDGE ON A 200 FOOT HIGH BRIDGE YOU'D
DO IT!!! " he slapped himself on the side of the head, " SHE RUSHED YOU THROUGH THAT ENTIRE PROCEDURE SO FAST YOU HAD NO IDEA
WHAT WAS GOING ON!!! "
" ...but I got food. " Goku interupted him weakly, embarassed.
" YOU CAN GET FOOD AT A SUPERMARKET, BAKAYARO!!! "
" Yes...BUT, you cannot get a SUPER THICK 12 FOOT HIGH VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE CAKE FILLED WITH MAGICAL CAKE-ISH
SURPRISES BAKED THERE THROUGHOUT; made by Chi-chan at a supermarket. " Goku pointed out.
" The point remaining though is she STILL tricked you. " Vegeta nodded, calming down.
" Well...I guess Chi-chan sorta tricked me. " the larger saiyajin looked downward.
" Of course she did. Now, you don't want to let "Chi-chan" trick you AGAIN, do you? " Vegeta offered, trying to
comfort his peasant.
" No... "
" Why, you would feel pretty stupid if you let someone pull the SAME TRICK on you TWICE in a row, right? "
" I don't wanna feel stupid, Veggie. " Goku sighed, " But, I can't just abandon Chi-chan....can I? "
The ouji snickered at the wavering in the bigger saiyajin's voice, " Sure! You can do that! It's simple! Name ONE
thing good about living with the Onna! "
" I GET YUMMY FOOD! " Goku chirped, remembering the cake from 2 days ago.
" Name another one. "
" ...umm, MY CLOTHES ARE ALWAYS CLEAN! "
" I have a washer. "
" --AND DRY! "
" I have a dryer. "
" ...my house is now bigger... "
" Capsule Corp has 327 floors full of rooms. "
" ... "
" ... "
" She helped me have Gohan? "
" --who doesn't live with you anymore. "
" And Goten... "
" ...who barely knows you. "
The larger saiyajin sighed, " I can't believe that's it, I could've sworn I had more reasons...right? "
Vegeta then heaved an overdramatic sigh, " Poor poor mixed-up Kakarrotto-chan! "
" Yeah. " Goku pouted in agreement as he sat down on his "would-be" waterbed while Vegeta got up off his own.
" You couldn't possibly be happy there with Onna, Kakay. First of all, I HATE HER GUTS--I mean, she's EVIL--I mean,
"Chi-Chi" is only human. Humans don't have very long lifespans Kakarrotto. Unlike MYSELF, who, along with YOURSELF, will
probably still co-exist on this planet for about 3 centuries to come--that is if we're not attacked by some so-called evil
supervillian who hates you for no particular reason and intends to blow us up. If you were to supposedly live here with me,
I could offer you delicious foreign foods, adventures across the universe, teach you a little bit about our homeplanet,
offer you this very comfortable water bed, and a really REALLY big living space!! Not to mention I will agree to spar with
you at any moment's notice no matter what the current time, tempature, or date is outside. "
" WOW VEGGIE! That's sound really really nice but-- "
" --if you decide to go along with Onna's wretched Kako-enslavement plan instead of MY
saiyajins-like-you-deserve-better one, you'll probably end up living the rest of your miserable little kaka-life the same way
you do now. After all, Onna prefers to feed you her own concoctions rather than store-bought ones, hates it when you even
travel several feet outside your home--not to even MENTION outside the solar system, denys the fact that I'm your prince and
she hates your little buddy who you care for so much, keeps you in the same old bed you've been using for God knows HOW LONG,
AND if you haven't noticed your house isn't actually fit to your kaka-body enough room to wander around in! Besides, Onna
doesn't spar with you, does she? "
" Chi-chan USED TO...that is, she used to before she had Gohan and before I got too strong for her to give me a good
fight without having me seriously injure her--by accident of course. " Goku shrugged.
" Ahh, but _I_ will always give you a good fight, right Kakarrotto-chan? " Vegeta smirked.
" Yeah Veggie you are good at that! " Goku grinned.
" Of course I am. Because I, too, am a saiyajin. And I'LL never lose my fighting edge by getting pregnant because...
well, frankly it's impossible for male saiyajins to get pregnant. " he rattled off, " I'll also be here for you to have fun
with a LOT LONGER than the Onna will. "
" That is true... " Goku trailed off, " Veggie has made several very good points. I am glad to have had this talk
with you little buddy! " he grinned, shaking Vegeta's hand, " It's all clear to me now! " he gave the ouji a hug.
" It is? " Vegeta squeaked out, his face glowing bright red.
" Yup! Thank you for sorting that out for me little Veggie. You are by far the greatest little buddy ever! " Goku let
go of the ouji and dashed out of the room, " Cya in a week Veggie! "
" Or "not" see you in a week, Kakarrotto-chan. " the ouji smirked.
" Heeheehee! "
" Heeheehee! "
Goku closed the ouji's door behind him, still giggling, only to ram into Chi-Chi, " OOFA! " he fell backwards and
landed on his behind. He rubbed it in pain, " Owwie..HI CHI-CHAN!! "
" GOKU! " Chi-Chi gasped with relief, grabbing the saiyajin and squeezing him, " Oh my poor Go-chan what did that
awful little demon ouji do to you in there! "
" Nothin. Veggie talked a lot though. " Goku nodded, standing up. Chi-Chi did the same.
" Talked? " she cocked an eyebrow at him, " Listen, Go-chan whatever that ouji said to you it's probably nothing more
than a pack of lies! He'll do ANYTHING to get what he wants! "
" Heh-heh, yeah, Veggie's like that! " Goku grinned, then noticed he was still wearing his flower leash, " OH! I
oughta give this back to Veggie. " he took it off his head and knocked on the door, " Little Veggie? "
" DON'T GIVE HIM THAT! " Chi-Chi snapped, grabbing the leash away from Goku, disgusted, " THIS SYMBOLIZES HIS OUJI
OWNERSHIP OF YOU!! THE OUJI IS _NOT_ YOUR "ruler", GOKU!!! "
" Hi again Kakay! " Vegeta poked his head out of the doorway.
" Hi Veggie! " Goku said happily, then took the flower leash from Chi-Chi and handed it to him, " Here you go, you
forgot this. "
" Awww, why THANK YOU, Kaka-chan! " the ouji glowed lightly, " That's very sweet of you. "
" Heehee. " Goku stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth and smiled stupidly at him.
" AND DON'T GIGGLE AT HIM EITHER!! IT PROVOKES HIS SICK LITTLE OUJI MIND INTO HORRIBLE THINGS!! " Chi-Chi yelled,
slamming the door shut on Vegeta's hand.
" YEOW!!! "
" MY LITTLE BUDDY! " Goku gasped, reaching out to free Vegeta's smushed hand.
" Forget him, Goku! We're going home! " Chi-Chi grumbled, grabbing the saiyajin's hand.
" You mean, I'm going home, right Chi-chan? " he blinked. Chi-Chi paused where she was standing.
" Oh yeah, you're right....WELL, it will be more exciting this way! It is a sign of good luck for a bride not to see
her groom for a full 24 hours before the wedding. " she shrugged.
" Really Chi-chan? "
" Well if THAT'S what we get for not doing that the first time-- " Chi-Chi pointed to Vegeta who had opened his door
in order to free his crushed hand, " --then it can't hurt to try this time around! "
" Silly Veggie! " Goku laughed at the ouji, who snickered at them.
" I guess I'll see you then. " Chi-Chi reached up to kiss Goku on the cheek, then blinked, " Go-chan, dear, could you
bend down a little? "
" K! " Goku grinned. She kissed him and let go, " Heeheehee, could it be that Chi-chan is getting shorter? " he
giggled.
Chi-Chi glanced over at Vegeta who was smirking evilly at her, " No. " she replied bluntly, " Oh well! See you! "
" BYE CHI-CHAN!! " Goku waved to her, then ran down the stairs and teleported home.
Chi-Chi sighed.
" It's always sad watching Kakay leave, isn't it? " Chi-Chi turned to Vegeta, who looked a little sad himself.
" Yes, " she agreed, " It is. "
" Makes you miss that little giggle of his even more each time. " the ouji pouted.
" Yeah... "
" ... "
" ... "
" OH WELL! I got his leash! " Vegeta beamed joyfully, then whistled to himself as he marched back into his room and
closed the door. Chi-Chi sweatdropped.
" I HATE oujis... " she grumbled angrily.
" KAASAN! " Gohan called from downstairs, " I think I'm going to get going too! "
" Alright. " Chi-Chi said, walking down the stairs, " Don't forget your brother! "
Goten looked up at her with big sad sparkily eyes.
" Aww, " Chi-Chi bent down to his height, " You want to stay here and keep your Kaasan company? " she said, touched.
" Umm, actually I wanna stay here and finish playing video games with Trunks. " Goten replied. Chi-Chi sweatdropped
again.
" Gene pool always deals you a wild card...oh well. " she sighed, " Of course you can stay here and..play. "
" YAY!! " Goten hooted in a Son-like manner, then dashed off into the TV room.
Chi-Chi rolled her eyes, " Why do I even bother. I'LL BE UP IN THE GUEST ROOM IF YOU NEED ME! " she called out to
Goten, who was already back in his designated spot, rapidly pressing buttons on his video game controller; Trunks, who was
next to him, doing the same.
" Honestly, sometimes I just don't understand anything. " she shook her head as she ascended the stairs, then passed
Vegeta's room, only to hear a very cheerful whistling noise coming from inside. Chi-Chi stopped and cocked her head curiously
at the door, " Hmm...NOPE! I will not open that door because whatever is on the other side of it is probably something I do
not want to see anyway... " she walked right passed it and into her own room. 5 seconds later Chi-Chi came speeding out of
the guest room and back infront of the ouji's door. She creaked the door open slightly only to gawk in fright at the second
waterbed that had somehow magically appeared next to Vegeta's own bed. The second one was the same size, only slightly longer
than the ouji's, " As if made for someone a lot taller than---AHH! MY GO-CHAN! " she shrieked, then quickly slapped her hands
over her mouth to avoid being seen. Vegeta took a quick glance at the door, then shrugged and continued whistling an
unfamiliar, happy little tune while placing several brand new sheets overtop the new waterbed that sat mere centimeters from
his own. The bags of the new sheets still freshly ripped open and on the floor. Chi-Chi backed away and closed the door,
" That is NOT a good sign. Not a good sign at all!... "
*****************************************************************************************************************************
10:37 PM 7/14/2002
END OF PART 3!
Goku: Things are not looking good for Chi-chan's side. Not at all...
Chuquita: Well, you don't know that. We still have one more chapter to go.
Vegeta: (pouts) I'm going to lose again aren't I?
Chuquita: You don't know that either.
Vegeta: (snorts) Of COURSE I'm going to lose AGAIN! I ALWAYS LOSE!!! I swear it's worse than that Trix Rabbit! (to Son) You
ever see those commercials, Kakarrot? That rabbit tries so hard, comes up with clever devices and disguises to nap that
cereal; WHICH, by the way he NEVER GETS; only to have those stupid children steal it away from him and say "silly rabbit,
trix are for kids". Hmmph! If _I_ were that rabbit I'd BLAST THEIR HEADS OFF and then partake in the breakfast delight while
they smolder in the backround!
Goku: Veggie that's not very nice.
Chuquita: Not to mention incorrect. Back when they were doing commercials for it in the 70's--
Vegeta: SEE! OVER 30 YEARS!! THAT'S CRUELTY TO ANIMALS!!
Chuquita: --couldja let me finish?
Vegeta: Hmm? Oh, oh-kay, sure. Go ahead.
Chuquita: Anyway, I saw on Foodnetwork that the Trix people once had a poll in the 70's on whether or not the Trix rabbit
should get to finally accomplish his goal in getting the cereal and it came out that the audiance said yes. SO, they aired
a commercial where the rabbit's at the park and while the kids are eating their picnic he roller-blades in the backround
behind them towards their table (which is also in the backround) and nabs the cereal. He's happy, the children still laugh,
and the trix is eaten by the character named for it.
Goku: (smiles) I like bunnies, little Veggie!
Chuquita: Yeah, back in "Stupified", my little Piccolo mini-fic, I listed 5 new story summaries, the last being the ultimate
stupifyier. A may exist/may never exist summary for a story where I let Veggie win.
Vegeta: (jaw drops to the floor)
Chuquita: Eventually I'm gonna poll the audiance on this one, like with the Trix Rabbit commercial those people did, but in
a nutshell Chi-Chi and Veggie place a bet with Veggie saying by the time 100 years will have gone by Chi will have been dead
and forgotten along with the rest of the Z people and being the only remaining members of the gang Veggie would have Son
wrapped around his little finger. Chi-Chi mocks him, then decides to settle the score by traveling to the 100 year future
using Mirai's time machine. And what she finds is a more horrifying future than I can list in this short explaination.
Vegeta: (grinning from ear-to-ear) You're going to let me WIN!!! [hugs her] OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Chuquita: --AHH! [pushes him away] VEGGIE STOP THAT! (mumbles) Don't count on winning THIS time, but as for the explaination
to the mysterious story idea #5, you'll have to wait and find out...that is if it even gets off the cutting room floor.
Vegeta: (doing a little victory jig while waving his stuffed Kaka-chan in the air) I WIN IN THE FUTURE! I WIN IN THE FUTURE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [tosses Kaka-chan up in the air, then catches him] (sweetly) OH my little Kaka-chan isn't that just
WONDERFUL! (giggles with delight)
Pookee: (groans) (to Chu) Why must you get his hopes up so high when you know that this story might not even happen.
Chuquita: (smiles) Yeah, well, it's good to see Vedge happy every once in a while.
Pookee: (smiles back) In that case I agree with you....he doesn't win in THIS story, does he?
Chuquita: Nope not a chance.
Goku: Aww. I feel sorry for poor story-Veggie. *sigh*, the fates are against him.
Chuquita: (flatly) Would you rather live with THAT nutcase? [points to Veggie, who's twirling around and laughing insanely
while spinning Kaka-chan over his head]
Goku: No.
Chuquita: I rest my case.
Goku: Besides, when you think about it, Chi-chan's the lesser of two "evils".
Plushie: Daddy's got a good point.
Goku: (grins) And she cooks yummy food!
Plushie: (licks his lips) I like her homemade pies!
Goku: (nods) Mmm-hmm!
Chuquita: Uhh, I think you're getting off topic.
Plushie: (to Son) OOH! And the cakes! Sweet sweet chocolaté!
Goku: With little sprinkles ontop!
Plushie: And marshmellows!
Goku: Whipped cream!
Plushie: A sole dainty maraschino cherry ontop!
Both: Ahhhhhh, sweet sweet dessert.
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) (to audiance) See you in the final chapter of "I Do?", everybody!
Goku: May your cherries be ripe and ready for picking!
Vegeta: (still dancing and giggling) LalalalalalalalaLAAAAAAUGGGGHHH!!! [trips over the camera wire and falls offstage] Oww.
[TV audiance now facing a blank screen]
Pookee: (to Chu) Told you it was a bad idea to get him excited.
Chuquita: Ahh, shuddup.