**********
He avoided Sirius all day. After dinner though this became an impossible task since they both had Quidditch practice. Sirius being the team captain came up to him and handed him his broom, "Good flying" he mumbled and walked away. He kept high above the field while Sirius watched everything from below. "Potter, stay after practice...your dive needs work" he roared after James almost crashed head first into the ground.

The rest of the team headed back to the school as the first stars began to appear. James hesitated but ended up walking towards Sirius.

"I slipped...You know my dive is always perfect."

"Yeah, I know."

"Then why did you ask me to stay?"

"Look James" said Sirius turning around to face him "Your like a brother to me...closer...Im sorry about the whole Lily thing..That was so stupid of me...Im sorry..." he moved closer to James who stared straight at him. Their eyes met.
"We all do things that we regret...just like im going to do now...." As their lips met the world became a blur around them. Their emotions melted and mixed into a swirl that flooded through their bodies...

All of a sudden James pushed him away. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his Quidditch robe and looked at Sirius, a horrified look on his face.

"James...let me explain..." began Sirius but it was to late, James had already turned around and began to walk towards the castle. Sirius didn't try to stop him, he didn't try to catch up. Jesus what have I just done? Why did I do that? What's happening to me?
*******
"You kissed him? What the hell were you thinking?" said Remus looking down at his friend.

"I've been hearing that a lot lately..." said Sirius looking away from Remus, and down the window to the Hogwarts grounds.
"I don't know what I was thinking. I just saw him there, saw the pain that I had caused him...I couldn't stop myself. It just all of a sudden came out." They were silent for a while. "Do you think im gay?" said Sirius all of a sudden.

Remus looked at him, despite the seriousness of the situation he began to laugh. Sirius looked at him and began to laugh to.
"Well, do you? You still haven't given me an answer" he said after a while.

"No, Sirius I don't. I don't think theirs anyone in this world who loves women more than you" he chuckled." I just think you love James...maybe a little to much." They both began to laugh again.

"I do love him though...this is all so confusing...I don't like men...but I like him. Do you think he'll ever talk to me again?"

"Knowing James he'll need time to think...to sort all of this out. Sirius, you know he doesn't feel the same way. He will never feel the same way. Why'd you have to go and kiss him?"

"I like a good challenge?" Remus burst out laughing as Sirius plopped down next to him and sighted, "Tell anyone about this and I'll kill you"
***************
"Lily please, snap out of it."

"Yeah Lily, he's not worth it."

"I can't just snap out of it. I've loved him since the moment I laid eyes on him. Last night I thought all my dreams had come true. I hate him! I hate myself for believing in him! I hate all of this!" she buried her face into her pillow while the two girls tried their best to soothe her.

"Don't worry you'll find another guy-"

"I don't want another guy! I want him!" her sobs became louder. Both girls looked at each other and shrugged. They got up and walked out of the room closing the door softly behind them.

I thought he was serious about me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I let him do this to me?...Black will pay, I will make him pay.
******
Why did it feel so right when it was so wrong? why did I let him kiss me for so long? Am I gay? Jesus...my best friend just kissed me...James laid on one of the bleachers of the Quidditch field. He hadn't dared go back to the dormitory, instead, after wondering around the dark school for hours he had come down here and slept. The dawns early light had awaken him and now he looked up at the sky and let his thoughts swallow him. If he hadn't been so caught up maybe he would have heard the steps of the person coming towards him.

"Excuse me, James?"

He was taken away from his thoughts by a gentle voice, looking up he saw the last person he'd expect to see.

"Hi...I don't think you know me. My name is Lily...I...um..."

"I know who you are" he said suddenly sitting up. "I've always known who you are, I will always know who you are."

She smiled, a forced smile. She'd always known Potter was a loser but she didn't think he was this bad.

"Im sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, sometimes im just so stupid, and then I start to babble...kinda like im doing right now" he smiled," please sit."

Awkwardly she made her way through the bleachers toward him. Wiping the spot next to him with the sleeve of her robe she sat down. "James" she sighed then continued," as you probably know I kinda have a thing for Sirius. Up until yesterday I thought things were going to go great but well...I think you know the story..."

She loves him. She loves him but he doesn't care about her. Look at how he's hurting her. Look at how he's hurting me. I don't want to hear about him now. I don't want to hear about anything right now.

"So the point of all this is that I would like you to help me James. I want, I need you to help me make him jealous. Maybe when he sees you with me he'll realize what he's missing, maybe he'll realize that...James?"

He looked at her, "Why me? Why don't you use some other guy?".

Lily hesitated, "Well, um...I know your his best friend and sometimes when others take our things we don't care but when someone we know takes them then we care a lot. Do you understand what IM saying? Listen your the perfect guy for this. Plus your close to him, he'll be bound to see us together, he'll be bound to notice that im not around for him anymore. Please...James..Please help me..."

Her deep green eyes met his. He'd do anything for those eyes.