Chapter 10: Epilogue


Thanks to some quick thinking and quick actions, Gene arrived safely at Manhasset Municipal Hospital and received the correct antitoxin for Branchseed, although the doctors told the group he needed to stay in bed at the hospital until his treatment was completed. They reached an agreement on who would pay for the medicine; it was split four ways between Colin, Ceryle, Leslie, and Bein. Next stop: Diet Club.

Lyn was waiting for them to arrive, so she had dragged her stereo system into the waiting room, and put in a CD called "100 Favorite Sinister-Sounding Church Organ Pieces." On that day, she wore a long, flowing black robe in place of her nurse's uniform.

They finally came.

Bein was the first to speak. "Dr. Flansberg, I presume?"

"Welcome, friends, to my office! I already know the reason why you're here. It seems you have ties to that Rothman boy, and you have discovered what was really in those pills I have him."

Ceryle, who was probably the closest to Gene out of all the people present, was repulsed by the vile presence of the fiend. However, she still managed to muster enough courage within herself to ask the ultimate question.

"Why, Dr. Flansberg? Why did you start treading the path of darkness when you supposedly had it all? A degree from medical school, and your own business to top it off?"

"It's a long story, madam. I'll start from the beginning. All through my life I have been tormented by girls with perfect figures, who often had eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. They taunted me for not sharing their shapes and abnormal mental conditions, and over the years, my anger increased. My goal was to exact revenge against every person who ever said, 'No thanks, I'm on a strict no-food diet, and maybe you should be too.' So I decided to beat them all at their own game, by getting a degree in nutritional science and opening a semi-legitimate establishment. While attending classes in medical school, I did extensive research on the applications of Branchseed in biological warfare, and devised a way to use this deadly poison to my own advantage. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids. There. I said it. And it felt GREAT."

Leslie took a cellular phone out of her handbag and called the police. "Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a citizen's arrest. Yeah, she just confessed to the charges of improper usage, dispensing, and mislabeling of a toxic substance. Where? She owns a place called the Di--"

With a swift maneuver of her right foot, Lyn kicked the cell phone clear out of Leslie's hand. "I don't think so," the black-clad deceiver growled. "I have underworld connections."

"Underworld connections?" asked Colin. "What do you mean by that?"

"No legal matters can touch me, for I am a blood relative of the richest, most powerful man in Novartis. That's right, you heard me! My mother is Heinz Kohlberg's sister!"

"Whaaaaaaaat!?" everyone else shouted in unison.

"Actually, I guess it would be an 'overworld' connection, seeing as how Novartis floats hundreds of miles above the surface world, but that's merely a semantic issue of no consequence to me. And now, I shall dispense with the idle chatter, and take my leave."

Lyn opened another supply closet door, revealing a red button protected by a glass panel, a metal rod, and a small sign under the rod. She read the sign aloud. "'In case of having no choice but to reveal the motive of your operation, break glass.' It appears there is no other way... Uncle Heinz, I shall soon be with you!"

With one swing of the metal rod, Lyn broke the glass and quickly pushed the red button before anyone had a chance to react. In a fraction of a second, she disappeared.

Colin, Ceryle, Leslie, and Bein all breathed sighs of relief-cum-exasperation. They were relieved that their friend Gene was safe, but dejected that their enemy has escaped (possibly to Novartis). Either way, they were completely sure that the Diet Club incident had, after all the chaos and distress, reached its end...





While Colin and the others settled their final score with Lyn, Gene was still inside his ice cavern, heeding the words of his wise and mystical "spirit animal."

"Your life has been spared, my child. Your friends have once again came through for you, and taken you to a hospital where you will get the necessary treatment you deserve. But be forewarned, though, that because of a side effect from this medicine, you shall revert to your previous size, and lose all memories of the tragic events that this week has presented you with. Time does not flow normally within the walls of the ice cavern, so when I snap my fingers, it will be 8:00 AM this Monday morning, and the 'Diet Club' will no longer exist."

The mysterious dog snapped his fingers, and Gene was instantly teleported to his bedroom. The sun rose over Manhasset, the alarm clock radio turned on automatically, and the DJ was in the middle of his morning show.

"Rise and shine, eight-o'clockers! You're listening to KTHX-FM Manhasset on this beautiful Monday morning in late June! Let's get the ball rolling with the latest hit from smooth jazz musician Michael Franks! Here's 'Innuendo,' on KTHX-FM."

The strangely familiar tune on the radio triggered unexplained feelings of warmth in Gene. He knew he had heard it somewhere, but he couldn't remember any details for the life of him. He then decided it was of no consequence where he heard it before, and to just enjoy it while it was playing. For a change, this was a morning when he didn't immediately turn off the radio.

Gene staggered to his closet, where he got out of his pajamas and put on an extra-large green shirt and blue clamkicker jeans. The jeans had a waist size of 48 and holes in the thighs from constantly rubbing together. After strapping on his trademark metallic blue headband, which he thought complemented his spikey orange-brown hair quite nicely, Gene was ready to face the day.

Or so he thought.

"Did you get fatter overnight?"


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